Kirev's Door

by JC Andrijeski

  Kirev flinched slightly at the casual mention of Syrimne, suddenly all-ears.

  It occurred to him in looking around the small space that most of the seers here were old enough that they would have been alive during the time of Syrimne. Some of them might even have been a part of that original seer rebellion. They might have fought side by side with the famed telekinetic, who had been a folk hero to seers ever since.

  It had been the only time when most seers felt like they were really winning the war against the humans.

  “Well,” Wreg said, making a polite gesture to Venai. “Would the three of you like to try, before we go? Would could bring Loki in here, too...”

  “It cannot hurt,” Venai muttered next to him.

  Realizing he hadn’t stretched out his light since they’d walked through the door, that he had in fact kept it locked behind a shield since they got here, Kirev opened it now.

  As soon as he did, the machine let out a high-pitched, screeching sound.

  THE ROOM WENT entirely white.

  Kirev fell into a crouch...more out of instinct than anything he could hear or see...or touch with his light. Raising the hand holding the gun, he pointed it in the direction of that bright light, using his aleimi to scout out the locations of the other seers in the small room so he wouldn’t hit any of them if he had to fire.

  He felt none of them, however.

  He groped around again with his living light, looking for Wreg...looking for Venai and Tan and Ute and Rigor...knowing he couldn’t do anything without knowing where they were.

  As he did, he opened his eyes. It occurred to him only then that he’d closed them, shielding his irises from the onslaught of light.

  Once he opened them again, he let out a low gasp.

  The illumination didn’t blind him.

  He found himself in a long, white room with sharp blue grid lines on the floors, ceilings and walls. He was alone in that room. No other seers were with him.

  “Di'lanlente a' guete...” he gasped, looking around. “What is this?”

  He didn’t expect an answer. He more said it to remind himself he was alive.

  It didn’t really work.

  “Wreg!” he cried out, still in a combat crouch by that strangely glowing white floor. He aimed the gun behind him, then around at the walls. “Wreg! Venai! Are you here? I can’t see you...”

  He stared up at a mirrored white ceiling, saw only his own pale face. His his heart pounded harder in his chest.

  “Wreg!” he shouted, louder that time. “I am in a different place now...a white room. There are...” He studied those glowing lines. “...Lights. Like a grid of light. The floor is a pulsing white. Can you see where I am? Can you hear me?”

  He didn’t expect an answer that time, either.

  He could see no one, not anywhere around him.

  He aimed his gun into those four corners yet again, but there was nothing to shoot.

  Then, right in front of him, a body began to form out of that empty air.

  It coalesced like molecules being pulled from the space, like matter being rearranged from a gas into something solid. Kirev could only stare while it happened, watching as the white light became something with flesh and bones, watching skin appear, then hair, then eyes and teeth and lips. Hands formed, then feet. He saw a small chest, those eyes becoming eerily bright, a sharp, diamond-like yellow, like sunlight only few thousand times harder and sharper.

  When the body and face finished forming itself, it even wore clothes.

  Dark gray, dusty, Asian in cut. Human.

  Clothes Kirev recognized.

  His eyes scaled back up to that small face, the features that went with the child’s body that stood in front of him, and suddenly, terror exploded in Kirev’s chest. A child’s terror, like something out of one of his most hidden nightmares. Nightmares where he woke up sweating, his heart thudding in his chest, sure he was back in the camps, sure they’d come for him next.

  The eyes. Those sharp, diamond-like yellow eyes. Those were different.

  Everything else was the same.

  Everything else was exactly the same.

  “Coreq?” he whispered, staring up at the small seer. His vision blurred. He thought he might pass out, then realized tears ran down his face. He thought he might be sick. He thought he really might be sick. His hands shook as he lowered the gun from that small chest, so thin the bones pushed out the brown, dusty skin.

  “Coreq...” he said, and it was almost a gasp. “Brother...” He choked on the word, letting the gun drop to that white tile floor, gripping it now in both hands like it might keep him moored there. When it hit those white tiles, they rippled out on all sides, almost like water.

  “Brother...” he managed, unable to tear his eyes off that face. “Brother, is it you?”

  The small-boned seer smiled at him.

  “How is it you are here?” Kirev said. Understanding reached him then. “Am I dead?” he gasped. “I am dead, aren’t I? I am dead...”

  The seer with the sunlight-colored, diamond eyes shook his head slowly.

  Kirev stared up at him, confused, but the child seer didn’t speak.

  “Where am I?” he said finally.

  He didn’t really expect an answer.

  By then, he really thought he was dead.

  Looking at Coreq, realizing how long it had been since he’d permitted his mind to go anywhere near the memories of his friend, of watching him be taken away on that day by the seer in the human suit, he wondered if perhaps he deserved it.

  He deserved to be dead. It should have been him.

  They should have taken him.

  He choked on the thought, fighting to breathe.

  He was still crouched there, tears running down his face as he fought for breath, when the child seer spoke to him. The voice made Kirev flinch, sounding exactly the same as he remembered it, so much so it was like a knife to his heart, forcing his eyes closed, forcing memories into his mind he fervently wished he’d forgotten.

  The words themselves echoed hollowly through that expanse of white space, reverberating like light itself, as if the air had thickened into water.

  Strangely, when Kirev heard them however, they came like a whisper.

  “I want to show you something,” Coreq said.

  He held out a small, brown hand.

  Kirev saw the cuts on his fingers, the bug bites from sleeping on the dirt in the jungle, the bruises along one arm from when the older seers grabbed them, taking their food, pushing them into the dirt.

  Animals. They’d been animals back then. Huddled together and snarling for life.

  “I want to show you something,” Coreq said again.

  His voice was patience. Infinite patience.

  Kirev imagined he could hear love in it that time. Forgiveness maybe.

  He let go of the gun, letting it clatter to the white tile floor, where it was promptly swallowed up into those tiles, disappearing from sight. Kirev watched it go, his mind fogging over as he tried to make sense of what he’d seen, that the gun was no longer there...even more sure now that he was dead. He couldn’t say he even regretted it now.

  It had worn him down, this life.

  Worn him down, stolen his heart...and he’d barely been here for any of it.

  When he looked up into Coreq’s face that time, he only nodded.

  “All right, brother,” he said, fighting that denser pain in his chest. He wiped his face with one hand, clenching the same hand into a fist once he had. “All right.”

  As soon as he touched those small brown fingers...

  The room around him again disappeared.

  KIREV GASPED, FIGHTING for breath.

  He found himself staring up at a blue-white sun, surrounded by high mountains.

  He recognized this...

  He knew this place.

  His heart clenched when it hit him it was the long valley below the mountains where he grew up. Pain hit into his light. So much
at first he could not breathe at all. He stared down at those waving grasses, feeling like he might collapse.

  The small, brown fingers held him up.

  “You remember,” Coreq said.

  It wasn’t a question.

  Kirev looked around. He stared up at those snow-covered fingers of mountain, jutting up into the sky. He saw the blue-green grasses rippled down in front of him like an ocean, dotted with wildflowers. Shaggy animals grazed further down the mountain where he saw a tent, elaborate designs on the heavy, rippling fabric.

  Nomads. He knew this. He remembered the animals, too.

  His mind seemed to change its internal rhythm somehow, bringing back a slower heart beat, the simplicity of simplicity. He remembered his mother...kind, violet eyes, his father’s booming laugh. He remembered...

  Gaos. He remembered all of it.

  He nodded, looking down at Coreq.

  “Yes,” he said. Tears once more ran down his face. “Are they here too?” he said. “My parents? Will I see them?”

  “No,” Coreq said only.

  Again, the view around them changed.

  Kirev scarcely blinked and the view of the mountains collapsed around him, pulled into a kind of vortex where he could only see stars, where nothing existed apart from those distant lights. He tried to find his bearing inside that nothingness, but his body felt different, too, changing shape inside that light, pulled apart and put together again, more light pouring down on him in a rainbow tunnel, filled with so many colors, so many...

  He was dead, surely.

  He had to be dead.

  Not dead, Coreq said again.

  He whispered the words inside Kirev’s mind, so near it felt like he lived inside him now, like he flowed into and around him like water.

  What is this, then? Kirev sent back. Where am I, brother?

  It is a door, brother, Coreq said. It is only a door. Do not be afraid...

  Kirev fought to think about this, watching the stars stream into lines around him as they tunneled through the night sky. He did feel less afraid.

  Coreq was not here to kill him. Coreq loved him.

  I do, Coreq affirmed. Very much, brother.

  Kirev felt his light expand with feeling...so much so he couldn’t speak at first. He felt relief, yes, for being forgiven. He felt regret too. More than either of those things, he felt love. He remembered how sad he’d been. How much he’d missed his friend. So much. He’d been so alone...so alone after they took Coreq away. He’d become an animal, too. An animal like all of the others, fighting and snarling for scraps.

  He’s missed him so much. So much. His heart had been broken that day.

  Mine, too, brother, Coreq told him softly. Mine, too.

  Kirev nodded into that dark, unable to think past the feeling in him, that warmer love he could still feel from Coreq, and for him. He felt himself breathing into that love, relaxing in a way he hadn’t in longer than he could remember. It had left him so gradually since that day, Kirev had scarcely noticed, until he forgot what it was too feel so much entirely.

  The night sky continued to whisper past them.

  Beautiful. Silent.

  Kirev rested in Coreq’s presence, letting it happen.

  Are you taking me somewhere? he said then, tentative.

  Yes.

  Where? Kirev sent. Where are you taking me? Is it where you are now?

  No, Coreq sent. I cannot do that...I am sorry.

  Kirev fought with disappointment. He tried to shake it off, but felt that closing in his chest want to reassert itself again, to protect him from whatever Coreq might tell him next.

  Do not worry, brother, Coreq sent, pulsing more warmth at him.

  But where are you taking me?

  I am taking you where you can make a real difference, brother... Coreq whispered, soft, again coiling around him. I am taking you to a place where you won’t be found...not for a long, long time, at any rate. Here, you will join the rebellion. You will work for them...

  For our own kind, you mean? Kirev sent, his thoughts defensive. Of course I will! It is for the good of the race, brother...like we always talked about. It is like Syrimne...like all of the seers before us who have fought slavery, to beat back the human animals...

  No, Coreq sent. No, brother.

  Kirev felt his anger worsen. His frustration. His hurt.

  He had thought his brother would see this the same.

  He had thought they would be the same in this.

  Our hearts are, Coreq assured him. Our hearts very much are the same in this, brother. Which is why I want to help you...it is why when I saw you there, I wanted to help you...

  Help me? How? Kirev sent. His thoughts grew openly bitter. You think I should not help my race? That I should sit still? Passive? Obedient? Like the rest of those trick dogs who live off the scraps humans leave us?

  Coreq shook his head. It will be easier to see this where we are going. It will be easier when you can see what they do to all living beings, not only those of your own race. Then you will see the truth. Then you will understand.

  Understand? Understand what? Kirev sent. I don’t understand any of what you say, Coreq!

  But his childhood friend went on as if Kirev had not spoken at all.

  ...They will not find you here at first, Coreq whispered into his light. They will not even know how to look for you in this place, brother...not at first. You will be able to see what they do...how they do it. As long as you are careful...as long as you don’t let them discover what you are.

  Kirev felt his puzzlement worsen.

  Humans? he sent finally. Where humans won’t find me?

  There was a silence.

  Then Coreq seemed to sigh, filling Kirev’s head with even more light.

  Humans were never the enemy, brother, he said, softer still.

  Really? They’re not? Kirev sent, fighting anger once more as he remembered the human Bilford, what he’d wanted to do to him in that upstairs room. He remembered the human Marcous, holding Venai’s leash, the countless others from the camps, the guards who would take turns beating and raping them when they were bored.

  Then who the fuck is, brother? Kirev sent bitterly. If not humans, who?

  That time, Coreq didn’t answer him.

  9

  THERE ARE NONE OF US HERE

  KIREV OPENED HIS eyes.

  Sunlight greeted him...more than he could take at first.

  He raised a hand up to shield his face from that glare and groaned when pain shot up that arm, nearly blinding him at first. He let the arm drop, gasping as he recovered from the shock of that pain, the unwelcome swell of nausea that accompanied it.

  His arm. He’d been shot, hadn’t he?

  Where the hell was he now?

  Using his good hand and arm, he struggled up to a sitting position, grimacing from the pain in his throbbing arm as well as a lower-level headache throbbing somewhere in the back of his skull. His eyes met blue sky. Above him, tree branches swayed in a higher wind, their new, sharply green leaves rippling in sunlight.

  He realized he was sitting on grass.

  Well, lying on it might be more accurate.

  He didn’t know what he’d expected, but it wasn’t this.

  He fought to scan back through his memories, back through what he remembered of the time leading up to this one. He remembered the party at Sutro Heights. He remembered Dan, the cylindrical key he stole, the house burning into the night sky.

  He remembered the laboratory under the ground. Those glass cases with those...things. The metal that lived, that whimpered and screamed into the silence. He remembered the wall that morphed into a keyhole...the room with the star-like lights.

  Coreq.

  He remembered Coreq.

  Rubbing his eyes with his fingers, Kirev sat the rest of the way up.

  He found himself looking at a familiar skyline, down below a slanting row of colorful, Victorian-style houses and a slope of steep grass-cover
ed hill attached to where he sat. He knew this place. Alamo Square...a park in the city. He’d only been here once.

  Dan had taken him here just a few days previous, to show him a view of San Francisco’s downtown. He’d been acting the part of proud tour guide of his home city to his new pet.

  Still. Something about that skyline...

  Kirev blinked, staring at it. Shaking his head, he decided to brush it off.

  He had only been here once. He couldn’t be sure of anything.

  But of course, he could be sure. Like all seers, he had a photographic memory. And something in that skyline wasn’t right.

  Pushing it out of his mind a second time, Kirev struggled to his feet.

  How had he gotten here?

  He would have expected to wake up in a prison, maybe. Or an armored bus, being taken to a work camp for interrogation. Or a featureless room filled with SCARB interrogators and instruments meant to cause him pain.

  Or...conversely...he would have expected to find himself bouncing and jostling down a highway headed for the Canadian border, lying in the back of that delivery truck with Venai and Ute and Wreg and that Middle Eastern seer, Loki, and all the rest of his comrades.

  Hell, he would have expected to wake up in Dan’s apartment before this––finding out that everything he’d thought happened had been nothing but a dream, that the party at Sutro Heights hadn’t yet happened.

  This, though. This, Kirev’s mind could not explain in any way.

  Remembering, his fingers went compulsively to his throat.

  No collar. He remembered Wreg pulling it off him in that upstairs room in the Sutro Heights mansion, giving him a pat on the back after he flung it into the fireplace with a grimace, as though he’d been handling something covered in shit.

  Kirev gazed up at the sky.

  How had he gotten here?

  “Hey, nosebleed!”

  The voice made him jump, then swivel around to face behind him.

  A small group of young humans stood there, maybe in their early twenties. Or he assumed they must be human. They wore no collars, and their clothing, while a little strange compared to what he usually saw since he’d been in the United States, looked like that of a Western human.