Don't Let Me Go
Page 33
He was a lawyer with the ACLU now, and I was writing books, books that I’d first begun sketching out in those long hours in the dorm hallway. Danial promised to read my novels to his Language Arts students, as long as there wasn’t too much sex in them. I told him I couldn’t make any promises.
Chapter 53
I slipped my laptop out of my satchel and opened it on Adam’s desk. The lava in the lamps had overheated and broken up into bits, leaving the water cloudy. The lamps were different now, ten of them, each one marking an anniversary, a year in our lives together since. We kept them here in his old room, the place where we’d first come together, the place where we’d shed our childish illusions of each other only to find something more real, more beautiful underneath. The screen added its own blue light to the room as the computer booted up. While I waited, I studied his sleeping form. He was on his stomach, his arms under the pillow, his shoulders exposed where the blanket had slipped. It was almost enough to make me shut down the computer and crawl back in bed beside him. I could wake him up. He wouldn’t mind. He never minded. But there was something I needed to do first.
I’m Queer. Get Over It.
Closure and good-bye
By Nate Schaper on Oct. 2
Human beings seek closure. It’s that tendency to fill in the gaps, connect the dots, and see complete figures where there are only dots. When this human need to fill in the gaps is blocked, psychologists say we experience frustration and anxiety.
Today, I connected my dots.
This is not the same world it was when I started this blog more than ten years ago. It’s still not perfect, and maybe perfection isn’t all it’s cut out to be anyway. But it’s good. It’s really good. They say you can’t always get what you want. But sometimes you can, and you do, even when you don’t deserve it.
Whoever you are, wherever you are—live. Love.
Peace,
Nate
I shut down my computer and the lava lamps and, in the darkness, found my way back to my man.
A Reading Group Guide
Don’t Let Me Go
J. H. Trumble
About This Guide
The following discussion questions and playlist are included to enhance your group’s reading of Don’t Let Me Go.
Discussion Questions
1. Discuss the significance and alternate connotations of the title.
2. Don’t Let Me Go depends on flashbacks to develop the early relationship between Nate and Adam. How might the feeling of the novel differ if the story unfolded in chronological order?
3. How does Nate’s assault affect his relationship with Adam? With his mom? His dad? Juliet? How might these relationships have evolved differently if the assault had never happened?
4. Adam’s Christmas gift to Nate (the Yang) suggests that they are two parts of a whole. Do you believe this is a healthy attitude toward a relationship? Why or why not?
5. Nate says that “even heroes grow weary lugging around the burdens of their heroism.” Do you believe this is true? Can you think of any examples to illustrate that statement?
6. Adam explains that his dragon tattoo is his way of taking control of his body. In what other ways do teens assert their independence? In what ways did you assert your independence as a teenager?
7. Do you believe that Nate and Danial’s friendship is realistic? Has their relationship affected the way you regard friendships between gays and straights of the same gender?
8. Discuss the similarities and differences between Nate’s relationships with Adam and Luke. What are his roles in each, and how do you think the experiences influence each other?
9. When Luke shows up on Nate’s doorstep Christmas Eve, Nate tries to describe his unexpected disappointment: “It was kind of like finding out your dog is going to die, and you spend all this emotional energy preparing yourself, saying good-bye, and then it doesn’t, and you feel kinda like you’ve been cheated.” Share a time when you felt something similar.
10. In Nate’s final blog post, he writes about the importance of closure. Why do you think knowing what happened to Luke is so important to him? Has there ever been a time when you didn’t get closure on something? How did that make you feel? Is Nate’s closure a satisfying conclusion to Don’t Let Me Go?
11. Talk about the coming-out process for Nate, Adam, and Luke. If you identify as LGBT, discuss your own coming out. Do you think the concept of “coming out” can apply to something other than sexuality?
12. Music plays an important role in Nate’s life and in the emotional development of Don’t Let Me Go, as you can see by the following playlist. Listen to the songs (or read the lyrics online) and talk about how each one is relevant to the story. Feel free to include any personal connections you might have and your response to the songs.
THE DON’T LET ME GO PLAYLIST
Check it out on iTunes: http://t.co/Tqa0XC5, or, visit iTunes Ping and search J.H. Trumble.
Music plays an important role in Nate and Adam’s relationship. They fall in love over “Heart and Soul.” They hold each other close to Chicago’s “You’re the Inspiration.” They get playful with Glen Campbell’s “Wichita Lineman.” And they say good-bye as Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Free Bird” plays in an endless loop in Nate’s head. Nate often turns to his guitar or to the piano to express his emotions, as we see on the evening of the homecoming dance when he plays Rufus Wainwright’s cover of “Hallelujah.” These songs and others are woven through the fabric of their story. But there are others that define them as characters—their love, their longing, and their hurt. Songs they might very well have listened to on their MP3 players. These are those songs, presented in chronological order.
“Let Me Be Myself,” 3 Doors Down
Nate’s theme song as he pushes back against his father’s expectations.
“It’s My Life,” Bon Jovi
Nate chooses Adam over his fear.
“I Love Rock ’n’ Roll,” Joan Jett
On top of the world—their first public appearance as a couple.
“You’re the Inspiration,” Chicago
Love grows.
“I’ll Stand by You,” Pretenders
Adam stands by Nate when Nate can’t stand by himself.
“Come Back to Me,” David Cook
Nate sets Adam free in Key West.
“Never Say Never,” The Fray
The novel’s theme song and inspiration for the title. This is also the song Adam flubs on the way to the airport.
“Not Afraid,” Eminem
Nate starts his blog—out, proud, and angry.
“Battlefield,” Jordin Sparks
Long-distance relationships are so hard to maintain.
“Hallelujah,” Rufus Wainwright
Nate deals with the increasing fear that he’s losing Adam. There are a lot of versions of the Leonard Cohen song, but this is Nate’s favorite.
“What Hurts the Most,” Rascal Flatts
It’s over.
“Need You Now,” Lady Antebellum
Trying and failing to get by without Adam, Nate resists the urge to call him.
“Heartache Tonight,” Eagles
Knowing the one you’re with is not the one you love.
“How to Save a Life,” The Fray
It’s not over: Adam and Nate struggle to find their way back to each other.
“Kryptonite,” 3 Doors Down
Adam’s song when Nate does the unforgiveable.
“I Don’t Wanna Live Without Your Love,” Chicago
Nate seeks forgiveness.
KENSINGTON BOOKS are published by
Kensington Publishing Corp.
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Copyright © 2012 by J. H. Trumble
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
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ISBN: 978-0-7582-7800-5