Shattered Identity

by Sandra Robbins

  She squared her shoulders and bit her lip. “I can’t make any promises.”

  Scott released her and scooped up the blanket from the beach. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

  Turning, he walked toward the dune ridge next to his house. Lisa didn’t move but let her gaze drift over his retreating figure. His slumped shoulders sent a message of disappointment, and it pricked her heart.

  She clenched her fists at her side. He should understand how she felt. After all, he’d found his family. That’s all she wanted to do—find the man who was her father. If she could do that, she might finally have all the pieces of her life that could bring her the peace she craved.

  Monday mornings were always busy, but Lisa thought this one seemed even worse than usual. She hadn’t even had time for a break. In a way she was glad. Being busy meant she didn’t have time to think about her conversation on the beach with Scott yesterday.

  She had been so upset when she got back to the bed-and-breakfast that she’d read and reread her mother’s journal. Then last night when she’d put it away, she spotted something in the drawer she had ignored earlier—a Bible. Treasury placed them in all the rooms, but Lisa hadn’t opened the one in her room since she’d been at the bed-and-breakfast. Her visit to church had told her something was missing in her life, and she felt drawn to read about God.

  By the time she got ready for bed, God’s word had begun to seep into her soul, and she knew she’d taken the first step in allowing God into her life. In contrast, she feared her disagreement with Scott yesterday might have taken her a step away from him.

  She still smarted from his words about Ean Thornton. She’d known the man all her life, and she knew he had a reputation as a difficult man. But what if he was her father? If he was, that would make a relationship with Scott impossible. Until she knew the answer to her question, she needed to reevaluate her friendship with Scott.

  A cough across the room startled her, and she glanced at Deputy Lewis, who’d arrived on the ferry early this morning. “I’m sorry you have to babysit me again. I know you’d rather be working on the mainland today.”

  He shook his head. “No problem, but I doubt if I’ll be able to do it much longer.”

  “Why not?”

  Deputy Lewis pushed to his feet and stretched. “I stopped by the sheriff’s office this morning before I went to the ferry. Sheriff Baxter told me they’ve been trying to track down some new meth labs operating in the county. It looks like he’s going to pull me off of Ocracoke to work on that problem.”

  Lisa chewed on her bottom lip and nodded. “I’d heard about the increase in meth-related arrests, and I understand why you’re needed there. I’ve enjoyed having you here, but I can’t say I’m sorry to see you go. I really don’t think I need somebody with me every minute.”

  Deputy Lewis shook his head. “Sheriff Baxter likes you, Miss Wade, and he’s concerned about your safety.”

  She waved her hand in dismissal. “I’m sure Scott and Brock have had something to do with Sheriff Baxter’s concern, but don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine. I just hope you and the other deputies are able to track down those meth dealers. I know how drugs can ruin a person’s life.”

  “Oh?”

  “My cousin.” She let out a sigh. “My grandmother spent a lot of money to send him to rehab, and I’m still not sure if it worked.”

  “That’s too bad.” He wriggled his shoulders again. “Man, I’m getting stiff from sitting so long. I’m looking forward to getting back in action.”

  She grinned. “I must say I’m thankful we haven’t seen too much action while you’ve been here.”

  He glanced at the clock. “Hey, it’s almost lunchtime. Scott should be here any minute. When he comes in, I’ll go on patrol for him. That’ll give me a chance to get out.”

  Lisa sat back down at the computer. “I wish he’d hurry up. He’s supposed to bring me something for lunch, too, and I’m beginning to get hungry.”

  Fifteen minutes later, Scott walked through the door, two sacks from the Sandwich Shop in his hands. “Man, it’s getting hot out there.”

  The temperature outside had to be in the eighties today, but she couldn’t tell it by Scott’s appearance. His uniform looked as crisp and fresh as it had when he’d picked Lisa up earlier for work. With his ramrod-straight posture and muscular toned body, she could imagine his picture on a poster as the perfect example of what the military expected in recruits.

  She shook the thoughts of how handsome he looked out of her mind and pointed to the sacks he held. “I hope one of those is for me.”

  He nodded and held one out. “I’m still aiming to please, ma’am.”

  She laughed and glanced at Deputy Lewis. “What about you, Jason? I’ll share my sandwich with you.”

  He shook his head and pushed to his feet. “I’ll take over patrol while you two eat.” He put his hat on and checked the revolver on his service belt. A mischievous smile pulled at his mouth as he headed for the door. “Besides, I’ve always heard three’s a crowd, and I wouldn’t want to interfere with two lovebirds spending some time together.”

  Lisa’s cheeks flamed. She opened her mouth for a retort, but the door banged behind him. She glanced up at Scott, and he appeared as shocked at Jason’s words as she was. She grabbed the sack Scott still held and sank down in her chair.

  Her fingers fumbled at the top of the sack, and she thought it would never open. When she pulled out her sandwich, she glanced up at Scott, who still stood beside her desk. Neither one of them had spoken.

  Scott clutched the other sack in his hand and stared at her. The look in his eyes scared her. What was it? Anger at Jason’s words? Or regret that he might have made her believe he had feelings for her? Or could he be angry because her problems had interfered with the quiet life he had fashioned for himself here in Ocracoke with his sisters? She cleared her throat and tried to smile.

  “I thought I’d stay at my desk while I ate. Do you want to drag up a chair and sit with me?”

  His mouth thinned into a straight line, and he shook his head. “No, thanks. I think I’ll go in the break room so I can relax on the couch.”

  Her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach. His words hit her like a slap in the face. She directed her attention back to the sandwich as she picked it up. “Okay. Have a nice lunch.”

  He strode to the back room, and with every footstep her heart pumped a little harder. She shouldn’t have worried about a relationship between Scott and her. The look of panic on his face when Jason had made his comment told her how foolish she’d been.

  She took a deep breath and took a big bite out of her ham sandwich. She didn’t need Scott. She’d been alone all her life, and she could be again.

  She’d vowed no one would hurt her again, but it was too late now. She didn’t know when she’d fallen in love with Scott, but it had happened. And as she’d feared, she had been rejected once more. Being alone was going to be harder than ever.

  Scott sank down on the couch in the break room and tossed the bag containing his sandwich on the coffee table. He propped his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. He couldn’t believe what had just happened in the other room. Were his feelings for her so obvious that even a deputy who’d only been around him and Lisa a short time could see how he felt?

  He should have said something, but he’d been so shocked he couldn’t think. Lisa knew how his past still haunted him, but she couldn’t understand how damaging to his emotional stability it had been.

  It wouldn’t be fair to ask any woman to share the life he lived. He didn’t want her to see him when he woke up in the middle of the night shouting for medics to help his wounded and dying men. And he didn’t want her to see him when the battle memories became so real that he paced the floor repeating th
e only words that could still his shaking body. She had no idea what he went through at times, and it was better if she never found out.

  There was no use denying his feelings for her anymore. Everyone around him could see it, but he hoped she hadn’t yet figured out that his attention to her was more than a police officer doing his job. He might joke that he aimed to please, but he was beginning to realize that he would love to spend the rest of his life doing just that for Lisa.

  The ringtone of Lisa’s cell phone drifted from the other room, and he sat up straight. Ever since she’d received those texts, he’d worried every time he heard her phone ring. He stood, walked to the door and waited for her to answer.

  “Hello.” She hesitated a moment, then spoke again. “Oh, hi, Travis. I’ve been meaning to call and thank you for stopping by to see me the other day.”

  Travis? Scott searched his mind for someone named Travis on the island. The only one he could think of was Travis Fleming. Scott had met him at church right after he came to Ocracoke, and his sisters really liked him. Satisfied the call was safe, Scott walked back to the couch and picked up his sandwich.

  Ten minutes later, he walked back into the outer office. Lisa tossed the remains of her lunch in the trash can, but she didn’t look up as he entered.

  He stopped beside her desk and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Is Jason not back yet?”

  “No. He checked in a few minutes ago. He was just leaving the beach. He should be here anytime now.”

  Scott nodded. “Good. I’ll watch for him outside.” He waited for her to say something, but she began flipping through a stack of papers on her desk instead. He backed away. “Okay, I’ll be back to drive you to Treasury’s when Brock relieves me from duty.”

  “That won’t be necessary.”

  He was halfway to the door when her words stopped him. He turned around and stared at her. “Why?”

  She glanced up, and the chill in her eyes took him aback. “Travis Fleming called a few minutes ago. He asked me to go out with him tonight. He’s going to pick me up here, and we’re going over to Hatteras for dinner at the Barracuda Grill. He wants to try to make the five-thirty ferry, so I may be gone before you get off work.”

  His eyes grew wide. “You’re going to dinner with Travis Fleming?”

  “Yes.”

  “What time will you be back?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know what else he has planned. The last ferry back is at midnight and the trip from Hatteras takes forty minutes, so it may be late. Why?”

  He swallowed to relieve the parched feeling in his throat. “I thought I’d check to make sure you got home all right. After all, I don’t know Travis well, and he is quite a bit older than you.”

  She glared at him. “Fifteen or sixteen years, but what does that matter?” She stood up and crossed her arms. “Maybe you think you need to approve Betsy’s dates and Emma’s when she gets older, but I’m not your sister, Scott. I can choose my own friends. Do you have a problem with that?”

  Scott shook his head. “No, not if that’s what you want.”

  She tilted her head to one side and arched an eyebrow. “Who wouldn’t want to go out with the most eligible bachelor on the island? He’s wealthy and divorced and quite a catch for any woman. We’ve always been friends, and he’s been concerned about me.” She shot him a pointed look. “In fact, he came by here the other day to ask if he could do anything to help. He’s always the first one to help out an islander when they have problems.”

  He felt like he’d been kicked in the stomach, but he couldn’t let her know. “I’ve heard he’s a nice guy. Have a good time, and I’ll come by Treasury’s to pick you up in the morning.”

  She directed her attention back to the papers on her desk. “Fine. See you then.”

  He whirled and hurried out the door. Jason pulled into the parking lot, and Scott charged toward him. Jason stepped out of the car. “Here you go, Scott. Thanks…”

  Scott pushed around him and jumped in the vehicle before Jason could finish his sentence. He pulled into traffic and headed out to the beach. When he arrived, he pulled into the parking lot and sat there with the motor idling. The air conditioner blew across his skin, but it couldn’t stop the burning he felt.

  He couldn’t believe it. Lisa has a date with another man. He leaned forward and rested his head on the steering wheel. For days he’d tried to deny the feelings he had for Lisa because he knew they would only cause him grief.

  Now he’d been proven right. He’d fallen in love with Lisa Wade, and the thought that she didn’t return his feelings hurt worse than anything in his past.

  TWELVE

  Travis had kept up a steady conversation all through dinner, and Lisa was glad. She’d nodded her agreement from time to time and smiled at the right moments. Her reluctance to talk hadn’t appeared to concern him, but then she suspected he was used to being in charge of every situation.

  He paused midsentence and set his coffee cup in the saucer. He stared at it for a moment before he glanced up at her. “I’m sorry. I’ve rambled on and on without giving you a chance to talk. But I wanted this night to be special for you. That’s why I brought you to Hatteras. I knew we wouldn’t run into any of our friends who would want to grill you on how you’ve made it with all that’s happened to you.”

  She smiled. “Don’t apologize. I’ve enjoyed being here tonight. I’ve heard about the Barracuda Grill ever since it opened, but I’m afraid a dispatcher for the sheriff’s office can’t afford the prices here. Thank you for bringing me to such a swanky place.”

  His dark eyes stared at her from his suntanned face, and he smiled. “To tell you the truth I don’t come here very much, either, but I’ve been thinking about you. When I stopped by the police station a few days ago, you looked so sad, and I couldn’t get you off my mind. I wanted to do something to make you feel better.” He cleared his throat. “The more I thought about it, I knew I needed to do something for myself, too. I work all the time and never go out. So, I guess this is my way of getting out for a good time and cheering up a friend in the process.”

  The sincere expression on his face lifted her spirits. “Thank you for wanting to help me.”

  He grinned. “You’ve helped me, too. Like I said…I don’t get out much, but I’ve really enjoyed this meal. How about some dessert?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t think…”

  He held up his hand to stop her. “I’ve heard the white chocolate cheesecake here is out of this world. Don’t make me indulge myself alone. I won’t feel as guilty if you eat some, too.”

  She laughed. “All right. I’ll have some and a cup of coffee.”

  He motioned for the waitress. “Thanks, you’ve saved me from embarrassment.”

  Twenty minutes later, Lisa pushed her empty dessert plate away and drained the last drop of coffee. With a sigh, she settled back in her chair. “Thanks again, Travis, for a wonderful dinner. It’s taken my mind off my problems being here.”

  “It’s been my pleasure.”

  She leaned back in her chair and studied the handsome man across from her. “You have a reputation on Ocracoke for caring about your friends. I’m glad you consider me one of them.”

  He grinned. “And a mighty pretty one, I might add.”

  She could feel her face flushing, and she smiled. “That’s quite a compliment coming from Ocracoke’s most successful businessman.”

  He sighed. “Yeah, I’ve been fortunate in business, but not in my personal relationships. You know I’m divorced.”

  “Yes, I remember your wife. She was very beautiful.”

  “We were married right out of college, but she never could adapt to life on Ocracoke. I was busy learning to run our business, and I ignored her. She left and went back
to the mainland.”

  “I’m sorry, Travis.”

  “She couldn’t understand my way of life.” He folded his napkin beside his plate and crossed his arms on the table. “When I was growing up, I knew my family was better off financially than my friends’ families. But my father taught me that having money also gave you an obligation to help others who weren’t as fortunate. I don’t know how many islanders he helped through the years. My grandfather, I’m sorry to say, didn’t share his beliefs, and they argued a lot about it.”

  “That must have been difficult for you.”

  “Yeah, it was,” he admitted. “But since I’ve been the head of our family enterprises, I’ve tried to do what I thought would make my father proud. That’s why I’ve thought about you so much. Is there anything you need? I’ll be glad to give you the money if there is.”

  “I couldn’t take your money.”

  He shrugged. “You could consider it a loan if it would make you feel better. I only want to help.”

  She reached across the table and squeezed his arm. “That’s sweet of you to offer, but I’m fine. I still have my job, and Treasury Wilkes won’t take any money for letting me stay at her bed-and-breakfast. My house may be gone, but I still have the property where it sat. As soon as the debris is cleared away, I’m going to have my real estate agent put it up for sale.”

  He looked down at her hand, and she pulled away. “I heard the reason you put the house up for sale was so you could leave the island. Do you still plan to go somewhere else?”

  “Maybe. Right now I’m confused about what I really want.”

  He smiled. “Does that confusion have anything to do with the new Ocracoke deputy?”

  Her eyes widened. “Scott? Why would you think that?”

  He chuckled. “Everybody knows everything that happens on our island, Lisa. The grapevine has you and Scott Michaels practically married.”