Changing Gears

by Roseanne Beck

  Okay. Not like that last one was exactly a hardship, but still. It’s the principle of the matter.

  Not that there’s anything wrong with being a good person. It’s who I am. But I deserve to have a little fun now and then, too, dammit. Besides, Kylie’s not the boss of me. Why should I suffer because of something she did? That’s not fair.

  Neither is the fact that Jake continues to send his smoldering gaze my way.

  I mean, how’s a girl supposed to fight that?

  And what kind of person would even want to?

  A crazy one, that’s who.

  My heart beats in my throat as I weigh my resolve to stay in my good girl lane with the tug to expand my horizons with Jake. I bark out a laugh at the euphemism. I’ll bet a lot of women would like Jake to expand their horizons.

  Jake shifts, uncertainty clouding his features. “Do I want to know what’s going on in that gigantic brain of yours right now?”

  “I don’t have a gigantic brain.”

  “Please. I can see you overthinking things from over here.”

  I scoff. “I do not overthink things.”

  Jake levels me with a bland look. “Right. Just like I don’t underthink things.” His forehead wrinkles. “Is that a word? Anyway. You know what I mean.”

  A resigned sigh escapes. How does he already know me so well? “Fine. My gigantic brain is busy arguing with itself about what it wants to do.”

  “About?”

  I gulp. “You.”

  His eyebrow ticks upward. “Because...?”

  My pulse pounds in my ears, and I lean against the counter just in case my nervous system decides to go on strike. Okay. Time to put up or shut up. “Because I really like you and I think you like me too but I shouldn’t like you because of the business and Kylie and Megan although I deserve to have a little fun and they can just go to hell.” I wince. “In a nutshell.”

  A laugh rumbles in Jake’s chest. “Feel better now?”

  I scrunch my nose. “Maybe.”

  He grins. “Good. And for the record, I do like you, and my offer to help you have a little fun still stands.”

  “Even if my gigantic brain is full of overthinking crazy?”

  “Especially if your gigantic brain is full of overthinking crazy. Seriously. I think I got here just in time. No telling what’ll happen if you don’t let some steam off once in a while.”

  Hmm. When he says it like that, it almost makes sense. I won’t be good to anyone if I explode. Maybe it is in everyone’s best interests if Jake helps me unwind. Speaking of which, since everything seems to be out in the open now, maybe we could try unwinding a little more...

  The sound of the front door opening and closing drags me back to reality.

  I sigh. “Of course. Just when things were getting good.”

  Jake reaches out and wraps his hand around my wrist, one side of his mouth cocked upward. Little shivers dance along the points of contact. “Just remember. I’m here to help.”

  As if I could forget.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Jake

  LIFE IS GOOD.

  Well, not totally sucking anyway, which is an improvement from a month ago.

  I’m enjoying my job, Lauren and I finally seem to be on the same page interest-wise, and I’m about to get my big-ass cast replaced by a smaller one. Hopefully.

  Dr. Anderson sits down on the stool across from me and nods. “Good news, Jake—we’re going to change you to a below-the-knee cast today.”

  Relief whooshes out of me like a gashed tire. “Thank God. That means I’m on schedule, right? That I should get back to riding again by next year?” Even the thought of having to wait that long threatens to send me over the Cliffs of Insanity, but I guess it’s better than the alternative.

  He shakes his head, his typically stoic expression firmly in place. “Not sure yet. The break near your knee looks like it’s healing well, but your ankle isn’t quite as far along as I’d hoped. We’ll re-evaluate with another set of x-rays in four weeks.”

  Tension creeps back into my shoulders as I stare at my leg. Relax. You’re fine. Not the worst news he could’ve given me, but not the best, either.

  “Hang in there. Some people just take longer than others to heal.” He taps a few notes on his computer, then glances up. “Not that I didn’t do a good job with your ankle repair, but Jake... Have you given any thought to retiring?”

  Shit, shit, shit. My chest squeezes, and I gulp down the panic and dread rising in my throat. Definitely not how I was hoping this visit would go.

  He raises a hand as if to stop my thoughts from speeding out of control. “Not that I see anything right now that would prevent you from returning, but I just want to make sure you know what you’re in for with trying to make a comeback. It’s going be a long, hard road. And even then—no guarantees.”

  His words buzz through my head like a swarm of angry bees while the medical assistant changes my cast. Retiring. No guarantees.

  And even though my leg feels lighter when she’s done, his words continue to weigh on me. Because he’s right. What if I put in all the hard work to attempt a comeback and I’m still not good enough? I was barely good enough before. What if all I do is end up wasting time I could’ve used to get on with my life? I don’t know which choice would make me the bigger idiot—going for the comeback or deciding to move on.

  My thoughts continue to circle like a driver doing donuts as I wait outside the surgeon’s office. Testing my knee again, I grimace. Fuck, that hurts. But at least I can bend it now. Kind of. And it doesn’t feel like I’m lugging around a concrete block anymore. Well, not a big one, anyway.

  Tracy pulls up to the curb, rolls down the passenger window, and whistles. “Looking good!”

  I give her a half-hearted smile, folding myself into the seat beside her for the first time since my injury. “Thanks.”

  “Blue this time, huh?”

  “Yep.”

  “Nice. Reece will love it. How’s it feel?”

  “Leg feels lighter. Knee hurts like a mother. Doc says it should get better. That it’s just stiff.” I test my joint again, grimacing as it moves like the rusty hinge that it is. “He gave me some exercises to try to get a little strength and range of motion back.”

  “That’s good. How’s the ankle?”

  I shrug. “We’ll see.”

  Tracy’s brows draw together as she studies me. “You okay? I expected you to be a little more upbeat since you graduated to the new cast.”

  My head drops onto the headrest, and I push away another round of woe-is-me. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

  “Coulda fooled me.”

  “It’s just...” I force a swallow past the uncertainty still lodged in my throat. “Doc said my ankle’s not quite healing like he was hoping. And he, uh, asked if I’d been thinking of retiring.” My words catch, and I force in a breath. “What if I really am done racing?” I know I’ve said it out loud before, but for the first time, it seems like it might actually be true.

  Her eyebrows scrunch together, concern and surprise warring on her features. “Seriously?”

  I shrug again, giving my lip a workout with my teeth.

  “Wow. That would be...huge.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you done racing?”

  “I don’t know.”

  After a few moments of silence, she squeezes my shoulder. “Hey. It’s okay. Just know that whatever you decide, you’re still my brother. And I’m here for you. We’re here for you.”

  “Thanks.” I gulp down another surge of emotions. When I’m no longer in danger of letting any rogue feelings leak out, I tack on, “You mean, you’re not gonna boss me around and throw in your two cents? Who are you, and what have you done with my sister?”

  “Well, of course, I’m gonna boss you around. That’s my job. But as for the second thing? Nope—not my two cents to give.”

  A half-hearted laugh huffs out of me. “What kind of psychologist are you,
anyway?”

  “The kind who believes in you.”

  Great. That makes one of us.

  ALL I CAN SAY IS THANK God for this job.

  I considered going home after my appointment, but I have no doubt that stewing in my own juices would’ve only made my confusion, not to mention my mood, that much worse. Throwing myself into the shop’s work orders goes a long way toward helping me sweep aside the questions about my future.

  Well, work and Lauren. Or, more specifically, that kiss.

  Even though she’s not at the shop, my brain keeps rewinding to the other night. How good it finally felt to have her lips on mine. To feel her soft curves pressed against me. To feel her begin to let loose.

  Makes me itch to get her alone again. When we’re not in danger of having someone walk in on us.

  “Wow.” Kylie ambles into the room, nodding appreciatively as she looks around. “Someone’s gunning for Employee of the Month. I kind of hate to break whatever mojo you’ve got going on, but it’s closing time.”

  Damn. So soon?

  I test out the brake lines of my latest victim, making a few additional tweaks. “Alright. I just need a few more minutes, then this one’s done, too.”

  And then I can go home. Where Tracy may or may not be lying in wait to psychoanalyze me and my future plans. Or maybe if I’m lucky, Reece will insist on another rousing game of Candy Land tonight.

  Ugh. I really need to get out more.

  “Okay. Good.” Kylie tilts her head and narrows her eyes. “Hey. You wanna join me and Lauren? We’re meeting for karaoke after I close up.”

  “Uh, I don’t wanna break up Girls’ Night.”

  She waves her hand as if swatting away my words. “Nah. You’re not breaking anything up. It’s actually kind of a celebration. And since you’re a part of the team now, you should come.”

  The potential for a Lauren smile at the end of a crappy day? Additional distractions from my questionable future? The potential for another entertaining Kylie karaoke night?

  Hell, yeah. Sign me up.

  “So?” Kylie asks. “What do you say? You in?”

  “Yep. I’m in.”

  Possibly way over my head.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Lauren

  I LOOK UP FROM MY PHONE, surprised to see Megan plopping down next to me. “Hey. What are you doing here? I thought you had a date.”

  “I do.” She glances over to the bar and winks at the new bartender.

  I roll my eyes. “So help me, if you get us barred from this place...”

  Megan shakes her head. “Not with him. With Zane. I’m meeting him at Calhoun’s. Popped in to say hi while I wait.” She swipes my wine and takes a sip, her eyes lighting up. “So... How’d it go with your guy? Any headway? Did you figure out what his deal is?”

  Ugh. Should’ve known she’d be hungry for details. Why didn’t I work on my story?

  Because I’ve been too busy daydreaming, that’s why. Wondering if Jake’s thinking about our kiss as much as I have. Fantasizing about how his mouth would feel on other parts of my body. Imagining his strong hands grasping my—

  “Ooh!” Megan breathes. “Spill!”

  “What?”

  “You’ve got dreamy sex eyes. What happened? Spill it!”

  I squirm in my seat, willing my body to calm down. “I do not have dreamy sex eyes. Nothing happened.”

  Megan’s gaze sharpens.

  Dammit. She’s like a lie-seeking missile. “Okay. We kissed.”

  “And?”

  “And that’s all.”

  “Hmmm.” A knowing smile teases her lips. “But it was good, right?”

  Despite my best attempts at holding it in, my enthusiasm gushes out. “Oh, my God. It was amazing. The best kiss I’ve ever had.”

  The Cheshire Cat grin spreads. “Good for you. So? What’s the next step?”

  “What’s the next step for what?” Kylie asks from behind us.

  Crap.

  I give Megan a pleading look, but she’s never been big on keeping secrets.

  “Lauren and her lover.”

  “Her what?” Kylie’s head whips to me. “What the hell? When did this happen?”

  The glee in Megan’s eyes at divesting a juicy piece of gossip dies, her face hardening as she looks at something past Kylie. “What’s he doing here?”

  Looking around Kylie, I see Jake a few steps away.

  Oh, holy hell. How much did he hear?

  “He’s part of our team, and I invited him.” Kylie shrugs. Her eyes sharpen as she turns her attention back to me. “But back to the whole ‘lover’ thing...”

  “I don’t have a lover.”

  Do not look at Jake, do not look at Jake, do not look at Jake.

  “Fine,” Megan huffs. “Your kisser.” She sighs and bats her lashes. “Best kiss ever.”

  Despite my attempt to keep my eyes on Kylie and Megan, they slide to Jake. While my face feels like it could spontaneously combust from excessive heat, his looks like he’s actually enjoying himself. Amusement and interest dance in his eyes, and he fails to keep the self-satisfied smile off his face.

  My heart trips over itself, but I’m not sure if it’s because of how good he looks or because we’re this close to someone stumbling upon what we did.

  “Who is he?” asks Kylie.

  What the hell did I tell Megan the other night? Oh, right. I told her it was a customer. Shit. Why didn’t I say it was someone from the college?

  “Uh... A customer?”

  Confusion clouds Kylie’s features. “Really? Which one?”

  “Is it that annoying guy with the flip glasses and the goatee? It’s totally him, isn’t it?” Jake asks, taking a seat next to me.

  I’m not sure if I want to kiss him for trying to deflect suspicion away from the two of us or smack him for adding fuel to the fire. Probably a little of both.

  “None of you have met him. Now. Can we please discuss something other than my love life?” I scowl at Megan. “And shouldn’t you be leaving?”

  I can almost see the gears turning in Megan’s head, trying to figure out if she’d rather stay to pry additional information out of me or leave for her date. “Fine.” She gives Jake a frosty look, then turns her attention back to me as she stands up. “But we are not finished with this discussion.”

  “Yeah. Seriously,” adds Kylie. “What the hell? What happened to our no relationship pact?”

  I squirm in my seat. “It’s not a relationship! We just kissed. Geez!” Despite the gravitational pull toward Jake, I keep my eyes trained on my sister. “Anyway... Back to business. Why the summons tonight? What’s going on?”

  Kylie gives me another suspicious look before shaking her head. “Right. I have some news.” She pulls out a sheet of paper and slides it across the table, a grin breaking over her face. “We’re in the top three!”

  She does a weird little shoulder dance while I peruse the email from City Hall—congratulations, stiff competition, fifteen well-qualified entrants, expected final decision within the next few weeks.

  Jake’s eyes bounce back and forth between Kylie and me. “Congrats?”

  “Maybe. We’ll see.”

  Kylie huffs at my lack of excitement. “Oh, come on. Sometimes you’ve gotta celebrate the small stuff.”

  I breathe through the pinch in my chest, memories overtaking my previous annoyance as she echoes one of Dad’s favorite sayings.

  “Plus,” she continues, “we should probably celebrate the fact that our favorite mechanic is a step closer to having two good legs.”

  “I will definitely drink to that,” Jake says.

  “Good.” Kylie stands. “First round’s on me. Jake, what do you want?”

  Jake’s eyes dart to me before he turns his attention to the drink menu. “Oat IPA. Thanks.”

  Kylie nods. “Be back in a jiff. I’m gonna order some apps, too.”

  A slow grin spreads across his face, and he nudges my leg with his whe
n Kylie’s out of earshot. “So... Best kiss ever, huh?”

  “Shut up.” I smack his arm.

  “Hey. We’re allowed to kiss. I signed your paper.”

  “I know. But I still feel weird about it.”

  He cocks an eyebrow. “Well then, maybe we need to practice some more.”

  “Hmm... They do say practice makes perfect.”

  “Yes, they do. And as an athlete, I support that saying one hundred percent.”

  The suggestion in his tone sends ripples of anticipation along my nerves. Thank God Kylie slides a beer in front of him and takes a seat. Not sure how much longer I would’ve lasted with just the two of us.

  “Alright,” she says. “Care to make tonight interesting?”

  Jake’s gaze follows Mullet Mike and his rhinestone jumpsuit as he makes his way onstage. “Uh, I think that’s taken care of.”

  I raise my eyebrows at Kylie.

  “We each perform something. Twenty bucks to whoever gets the loudest crowd response.”

  Jake glances over the karaoke menu. “We get to pick our own song?”

  “Yep.”

  He nods. “I’ll take that action.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Good.” Kylie holds up her drink, and we clink glasses. “Eat my dust, suckers.”

  “WOW,” JAKE SAYS, HIS voice low. “Your sister is, uh...”

  “I believe the word you’re looking for is tone-deaf.” We both cringe as she butchers yet another few notes of Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’.

  “You said it. I didn’t.” Jake tilts his beer to his lips. “But A for effort.”

  More like D for Delusional. Frankly, I’m surprised they haven’t taken the song off the menu. It’s like she’s proclaimed it to be her own personal Everest. Something she will conquer before she dies.

  Which would probably be fairly soon if it were in any other karaoke bar. The patrons that frequent this place are too nice to do anything other than offer support and encouragement, however. Part of the reason why I like it here. No one’s gonna get booed off the stage. Although sometimes I do wish they had a gong.