Sensing Frank was out of control, Roxanne tried to pull away. But her efforts to free herself were fruitless. He clenched her dress in tight-gripped fists, and Roxanne’s soul deserted her body, fleeing to the other side of the room.
She couldn’t do anything except stand by horrified as he ripped the dress from her body.
The next thing she knew, she was crouching on the floor by the bed. Naked. Weeping and shaking wildly, she tried to cover her body, her head, and her face with her arms—all at the same time.
Seeing her like that, so helpless, Frank caved. He knelt beside her and gathered her frigid body in his arms. He dragged the comforter off the bed and wrapped it around her. Holding her close, he wondered why she didn’t understand.
Frank loved Roxanne so much that he couldn’t bear the thought of another man touching her. If that’s the price he had to pay for success, well then, it was too high. “Don’t cry,” he said in a soothing tone. “It’s going to be okay. But you have to call them now.” He reached for the phone on the nightstand. “Tell them you quit,” he said calmly, holding the phone out to her.
There was something unbalanced residing in the undertones of his voice. Roxanne took the phone, fearful of what he might do if she didn’t obey.
“You belong to me,” he said as she dialed the phone number. “I should have known better than to leave you alone like this. I should’ve known you wouldn’t be able to handle all those people out there just waiting for the chance to take advantage of you.”
Roxanne heard someone say “hello” at the other end. She looked at Frank with fear—fear of what she was seeing in him—and it pounded her heartbeat a little faster.
“Hello,” she muttered into the phone, “this is Chris.” She identified herself by the working name she’d chosen. “I was just calling to say that I won’t be back.”
Once she’d said that, Frank took the telephone from her. “Don’t worry,” he said, hanging up the receiver. “I’m not going to let anything like this ever happen again.” He gave her an unsettling smile. “I’m going to take care of you. Just like I should have done from the very beginning. I’m not going to let anybody else ever get close enough to you to do anything like this…not ever again.”
Roxanne held onto the comforter and made her way into the bathroom. Once inside, she closed the door and slipped into her robe, then decided a couple of Valiums were in order.
She popped the cap, and Frank walked in. Roxanne froze, dropping the bottle and the pills scattered.
Frank bent down and scooped up a handful of the pills and looked them over. Valiums. “Roxie honey…do you have any more of these?” he asked calmly enough.
She nodded in a slow, agreeing motion. Without a word, Roxanne retrieved the Triavil from the medicine cabinet and handed them over.
“You can’t take these anymore,” he said in a gentle, coaxing way.
Roxanne watched, horrified, as Frank dumped the pills into the toilet and then flushed. He gazed at her with a frightening smile.
“Frankie,” she said weakly, “I need those pills.”
“No you don’t,” he corrected her. “You don’t need anything but me.”
Frank cut her off right then and there. She suffered a few minor symptoms for a few days. But soon, she was back to normal. Well, about as normal as she could get at that point.
Frank had always been one to learn from his mistakes. And he learned this lesson all too well. Now he realized he had to shelter Roxanne from herself. It wasn’t her fault. At least he couldn’t blame it on her. For his own sanity, he couldn’t do that. He would just have to make sure nothing like this ever happened again. But to do that, he’d have to keep her by his side every second of every day. Even if he had to starve, he intended to see to it that he protected Roxanne from herself.
Time dragged on for Roxanne, who felt trapped under Frank’s watchful, reprimanding eye. He no longer had enough faith in her to let her out of his sight, robbing her of the chance to prove herself worthy of his trust once again. Still, she waited. She kept telling herself he would come around, and soon he’d be the person she’d fallen in love with.
She thought she might get some salvation when he went back out on the road. Finally, she’d get some peace of mind. When he came back, everything would be fine. Just like before.
But Frank had other plans. Plans that included taking her with him because he didn’t trust her enough to leave her at home alone. Hell, look what happened the last time he’d done that. He had to look out for her. Something she couldn’t do for herself.
Since Glenna brought this on in the first place, she could foot the bill for Roxanne to go with him. If Glenna didn’t want to do that—then Glen could leave the band.
But Glen didn’t leave the band. Instead, Glenna was instructed to send an extra five hundred dollars a week.
After a few weeks on the road, things got worse instead of better. Frank couldn’t bring himself to forgive Roxanne for what she’d done. He treated her in a cold and calculating manner, acting like she was one of his possessions. One that had lost its appeal, but he was still stuck with, and he turned on her every time she tried to be anything more.
Every time Frank touched Roxanne, he couldn’t stop the thoughts crowding his mind of all the other men who’d paid to do the same thing. It made him furious. The notion that he was the reason she’d chosen to sell her body in the first place—well, that turned out to be a weight Frank was unable to carry.
As a couple, they were unable to get past it. Day by day, Frank grew more and more angry over what Roxanne had done, mostly because of his own guilt. And he didn’t like having to carry that burden. Eventually it got the better of him and he wanted to punish her, just like he was punishing himself.
After a while, his accusing and vigilant eyes turned into disregarding and apathetic eyes. Now, instead of watching every move she made he chose to ignore her. Every day, he’d get up around one or two in the afternoon and go to the bar for rehearsals. He wouldn’t return to the hotel room until around sun-up the next morning. Frank did this every day without fail.
Frank always had the keys to Roxanne’s van too, preventing her from leaving. Letting her go would be too easy. He wanted her to suffer, just like him.
Along with July came the sweltering summer heat, marking the six-month anniversary of Frank’s coming home and putting an end to Roxanne’s short career as a prostitute. And, a little more than two years had passed since they’d first met at The Other Place.
It was becoming painfully clear, to Roxanne anyway, that he was never going to forgive her. She realized it right around the time she allowed herself to acknowledge that she hadn’t had a period in three months.
Deep down, she knew what she had to do. She had to leave. She couldn’t stay with him now. He would probably accuse her of trying to trap him anyway. She had news for him—she didn’t want him trapped or otherwise. She didn’t want anything more to do with him. Ever again. She just wanted to be free. But before that could happen, she had to figure out a way to get her keys without letting Frank know about it.
Wait a minute. The answer descended upon Roxanne like a quick flash of lightning. That van belonged to her. Finally it hit Roxanne. All she had to do was call a locksmith and tell him she’d lost her keys. Once he made her a new set and opened the door, she could prove she owned the vehicle with the registration.
For the last six months, Frank had tried to impede the fierce battle inside him between love and hate. He knew he loved Roxanne. He never tried to deny that. He also knew he hated what she’d done, and he hated that she’d done it because of him. Here lately, the battle had intensified, and finally Frank realized why. His love for her was gaining ground, conquering his hatred.
Maybe she’d suffered long enough. Maybe the time had come to put this whole thing behind them. He knew she never meant to hurt him. If he’d just come out and told her about Glenna, and let her know exactly how he felt about it, then Roxanne woul
dn’t have done it.
He couldn’t do this anymore. He had to go to her, tell her he was sorry and beg forgiveness.
At seven in the evening, Frank drove back to the motel. He planned to take her out to dinner, where he would beg her forgiveness and convince her that everything was going to be okay. So long as they loved each other, everything would be fine. He felt certain that Roxanne would accept him with open arms.
In good spirits, Frank walked into the motel room and closed the door behind him. “Roxie...” He called her name softly.
Looking around the room, he got the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. Quickly realizing the room seemed void of her belongings, he searched the dresser and then the closet, and all her things were gone. He sought desperately to find something—anything—to prove she’d been there. But there was nothing. She was gone.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he buried his face in his hands and told himself this wasn’t what it looked like. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to figure out what to do next. Then he saw it, there on the floor. A sheet of paper with Roxanne’s handwriting on it. Frank leaned over and scooped up the note.
Dear Frank:
I’m very sorry it has to be this way. Please don’t try to find me. And believe me when I tell you that we’re better off apart. For whatever it’s worth, I’m truly sorry for all the pain and hurt I’ve caused you. But I know in my heart that you can never forgive me. So it’s best for everyone concerned if I just go away.
I cannot stay any longer. I don’t love you anymore. I’m confident that in time you’ll find another Roxanne. One you can mold into what you think I should have been. But I’m not the one. So please, just leave me alone.
I wish you the very best with your music. One day you’ll wake up and find the words are just aching to come pouring out.
Roxanne
Frank fought hard to keep his emotions intact, although a solitary tear did manage to escape. Clenching the letter, he ripped it apart and tossed the pieces in the air.
He ran his fingers through his hair and drew a tight fist. “Roxaannneeee…!” his powerful voice bellowed out in desperation.
Quickly, he jumped up and ran to the door, determined to go get her and make her come back. He stopped just outside the door. He didn’t have the time right now. He had a show tonight.
But there was always tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow he’d go find her. He knew where she’d gone. Tomorrow he would go to Tampa and make her come back.
***
Chapter 11
Quietly, Roxanne snuck into the condo. At two in the morning, she knew Candy was either in bed or she was out somewhere. Roxanne hadn’t been there half an hour when the phone rang, startling her. At this time of morning it couldn’t be anybody but Frank. She made no move to answer it. Instead, she lay there staring at the telephone, knowing Candy would answer it sooner or later.
Groggily, Candy came out of her dreams. She fumbled in the dark, finally finding the phone. “Hello…”
“Candy. Put Roxanne on the phone,” Frank said abruptly.
“She’s with you, Frank. Remember?”
“She left last night. I figured she’d go straight home.”
“What happened?” Candy was more alert now. “What’d you do to her?”
“I didn’t do anything to her.” His tone had a certain bite to it. “She just packed up and left.” For an awkward moment there was silence between. “Candy, would you please tell her…” he stopped, his voice breaking.
Candy couldn’t be sure, but she thought he might be crying.
“Tell her that I love her,” he finally said. “I’ll do anything she wants, if she’ll just come back.”
“I will,” Candy said. “Just as soon as she gets here.”
She hung up the phone, got out of bed and headed upstairs. Finding Roxanne in her bed didn’t come as much of a surprise. Candy leaned against the doorway and crossed her arms.
“That was Frankie...?” Roxanne asked.
“Yes. What happened?”
“I had to leave, that’s all.”
“He sounded pretty broken up,” Candy said. “I think he was even crying.” She was looking for some compassion from Roxanne.
But Roxanne didn’t have any compassion to spare. “You don’t understand,” she said. “I had to leave. And I can’t go back. Ever.”
“How did you come by this decision now?” Candy asked. “Why not four or five months ago?”
“Because I wasn’t pregnant four or five months ago,” she said. “Don’t you see? I had to leave for the baby’s sake.”
“You’re pregnant?” Candy asked, feeling a bit astonished. “And you’re considering keeping the baby?” Not that Candy thought she shouldn’t keep it, it’s just that Roxanne had always been so insistent when she was married to Chuck that she didn’t want children.
The tears snuck up on Roxanne. “Oh, Candy…” She sobbed. “What am I going to do?”
Candy moved across the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. “It’s okay.” She draped an arm around Roxanne, consoling her. “Everything’s going to be fine.”
It took Roxanne a while to calm down, but once she did she fell asleep quickly.
“Get some rest,” Candy said softly, tucking the covers around Roxanne. “Tomorrow you’ve got a shit-load of problems to deal with.”
Roxanne knew she couldn’t stay in Tampa long. It was only a matter of time before Frank showed up. When she woke up the next morning, she packed up and got ready to leave for Tennessee. That was a place Frank would never find her. She couldn’t let Frank find her, and she couldn’t let him find out about the baby. She just wanted to be free from his wrath, and she thought running away would do the trick.
Just as she was about to walk out the door, Candy presented her with a letter from Winston-Fischer Publications.
For a second Roxanne hesitated to open it. It could be another rejection. She’d received plenty of those lately. But there was only one way to find out for sure, and Roxanne didn’t have time on her side. She ripped into the letter and scanned it, looking for a definite reply, whether it be yes or no.
…Dear Ms. Simon…We are interested in discussing a contract with you…Please contact us at the following address…Or call between the hours of… Sincerely…Jason Fischer....
Roxanne spoke with Jason Fischer and quickly opted to head straight for New York City, after a quick stop in Tennessee to drop off her van.
She hadn’t been gone an hour when Frank showed up.
“She’s not here,” Candy said.
“Look…I know she’s here.”
“Well I’m telling you she’s not.”
“Mind if I come in and have a look around?”
“Suit yourself.” Candy moved aside.
Frank searched the condo, but found nothing to indicate that Roxanne had been there lately. Feeling desolate and defeated, he lumbered back toward the front door. He stopped long enough to look at Candy and say, “She’s not here.”
That was as close to an apology as she could expect from him.
For a second, his piercing eyes shot through her like fire, and she felt a bit sorry for him. “When I see her,” she said, “I’ll let her know how concerned you are.”
“I’d appreciate that,” he replied with a touch of thankfulness in his tone—something Candy wasn’t used to seeing from Frank.
Later that afternoon, Rich was feeling on edge—what with Roxanne disappearing—and found himself at the condo.
Candy had let him in. That was a start. But quickly, he picked up on her anxiety. He wasn’t deluding himself about what she might or might not do to cover for Roxanne. And he could tell that whatever she did know, she worried about letting it slip.
“We won this battle of the bands contest. We get a record deal out of it.” Rich was weighted down by his lack of enthusiasm. “This might be the break we’ve been looking for.” He tried, and failed, to muster up some excitement.<
br />
“Have you guys come up with any original material yet?” Candy asked hopefully. Even she knew that’s what they really needed to get a break.
“Frank says he has some ideas,” Rich said. “We’re supposed to go out to California and get some exposure out there.”
“California.” Instantly, Candy felt better because that was so far away. “I guess this is your lucky break.” Roxanne’s too.
“I’m going to miss you.” He flashed her a sad, far-away smile. “I know you probably don’t want to hear it…but I still do.”
Candy was tempted to tell Rich that she loved him, too. She always had. But she couldn’t do it. Roxanne needed Candy now, more than she ever had in her entire life. Candy had to forget about her own selfish needs.
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