“It would never work,” she said, a bit of truth existing in her words. If she stayed with Rich, she’d never be able to hide the truth about Roxanne. And she couldn’t expect Rich to hide it from Frank. “I wish you the very best with your music,” she said, and then wondered if she’d said too much.
Did Rich realize that Candy was saying goodbye? For real. For good.
Later that evening, Candy caught up with Roxanne at the Holiday Inn in Ocala, just north of Tampa. In the morning, they’d head for Tennessee.
Candy had left Tampa without a word to anyone. Especially Rich. Up and leaving was a lot easier than trying to make up some flimsy excuse about where she was going, or why. Instead, if she was going to do some talking she’d do it with Roxanne, and relayed what she’d learned about Garrett-Hollander from Rich.
After hearing what Candy had to say, Roxanne was further convinced that she’d done the right thing. If any little part of her wanted to call Frank, this news stopped her. She didn’t want to be responsible for taking the music away from him. Not when he was so close. If he found out about the baby, she’d like to think Frank would try to do the right thing. But Roxanne had to think about the baby. She couldn’t let herself forget about the way Frank had treated her during the last six months.
***
Chapter 12
Roxanne and Candy moved to New York City where, once again, they started a new life. Roxanne had made the decision to break away from Frank Garrett long before she ever left Florida, yet, leaving him behind turned out to be easier said than done. Why couldn’t she put it all behind her and forget about him? Considering the circumstances, that might prove a little hard to do.
Jason Fischer, her publisher, picked up on Roxanne’s troubles as she struggled with her inner conflict. His concerns weren’t purely altruistic though, he’d just signed her to a three-book contract. He took it upon himself, presumptuously, and made her an appointment with an old college friend of his—Jerry Sterling, a psychiatrist.
With Jason’s connections, Roxanne got in to see Jerry the same day. Without a word, she sat down in the chair in front of his desk.
“Hello Roxanne.” Jerry offered his hand in a friendly manner. “I’m Jerry Sterling,” he said as they shook hands.
Situating himself back behind his desk, he scanned the preliminary paperwork she’d filled out in the waiting area. “How are you doing today?”
“Isn’t that for you to figure out?”
“I can’t figure anything out until you tell me what the problem is.”
“Well, if I knew that…then I wouldn’t need you, now would I?”
“What’s gotten you so upset?”
“Look…” Roxanne decided to lay it on the line. “I just want you to tell me how to get him out of my head, okay?”
“Who?”
“Frankie. I’ve tried. And I can’t do it myself.”
“What is it about this man that upsets you so?”
“Don’t you know?” she asked as if he should.
“Did you two break up?”
“Oh, you catch on fast.” She laughed dryly.
“If the break-up is affecting you so strongly,” he said, seemingly ignoring her snide remark. “Why don’t you just go back to him?”
“That’s out of the question.” She’d made up her mind, and reconciling with Frank was not an option. “I have to think of the baby.” She couldn’t forget how cruel Frank had been to her. Roxanne couldn’t bring herself to subject a child to his hatred.
“You have a child?” Jerry examined the file, more closely this time.
“Not yet. My baby’s due in January.”
“And he’s the father?”
“Yes.”
“Well, isn’t that a reason to stay with him?” He wanted her to consider the consequences of her actions.
“Normally it would be,” she said. “But this is no normal situation.”
“Why is that?”
“Because he’s Frank Garrett. And nothing is ever good enough for him.”
“How about Mondays and Thursdays?”
“For…?”
“Appointments. You come see me on Mondays and Thursdays…and we’ll talk,” he said. “We’ll see if we can figure out how to get him out of your head.”
Roxanne liked that idea. She hoped Jerry was everything Jason made him out to be. If he couldn’t help her, she feared no one could.
Later, after his newest patient had gone, Jerry phoned his old pal Jason. “I saw your latest discovery this morning.”
“And…” Jason’s anticipation reached across the wire.
“Well, to make a long story short,” Jerry said, “your girl has serious problems.” He revealed as much information as his professional ethics allowed.
“Jerry,” Jason’s tone hardened. “Need I remind you that she’s extremely important to me?”
“Yes. I get that you don’t want to lose your new discovery to a mental breakdown.”
“Damn straight I don’t.” His exasperation was confirmation enough. “So find a rope in that brain of yours and throw it to her. Pull her back to safe ground.”
“I’m seeing her again later in the week. I’ll do what I can.”
Garrett-Hollander prepared to leave for California, and the realization that Roxanne and Candy were really gone, for good, started to sink in for both Frank and Rich.
Frank began the slow process of trying to get over Roxanne, and the words began to pour from his soul. He wrote about his heartache. He even sang about it. But Frank refused to openly admit, to anyone, just how deeply Roxanne’s desertion had affected him. Even so, the first song he wrote did hint at a glimmer of the heartbreak Frank was feeling.
Verse 1
I wanted to tell you I was sorry
But you were gone when I went to look for you
Don’t say it’s over
Please don’t tell me we’re through
You said you never meant to hurt me
But still you do the things you do
Chorus:
I read it in your letter
I found it lying on the floor
You think I don’t know any better
And you can’t take it anymore
But I’d give anything
If you’d just walk back through that door
Verse 2
You said you didn’t love me anymore
And that you stayed too long
But now you’ve gone away
And my love still grows strong
Why did you turn your back on me
Somebody tell me where I went wrong
Chorus:
I read it in your letter
I found it lying on the floor
You think I don’t know any better
And you can’t take it anymore
But I’d give anything
If you’d just walk back through that door
Verse 3
I can’t seem to get past us
I look for you everywhere I go
You have to say you didn’t mean it
You have to tell me it isn’t so
How could you forget how much I love you?
That much you’ve got to know
Chorus:
I read it in your letter
I found it lying on the floor
You think I don’t know any better
And you can’t take it anymore
But I’d give anything
If you’d just walk back through that door
***
Part II
***
Chapter 13
1988
Early Summer
Tampa, Florida
Rich grabbed a beer from the fridge and planted himself in front of the television. Eager to tune in to Lauren Weber’s special—the show was his guilty pleasure—he wanted to see who she was going to dog this time.
Of course, he wasn’t expecting to see Roxanne on his TV screen. He knew Roxanne and Can
dy were actresses, and that Roxanne had written some books, but he’d never read any of them and he’d never seen any of their movies. As he watched Lauren Weber interview Roxanne, life started to feel a bit surreal for Rich.
He didn’t pay much attention when Lauren asked Roxanne if Frank Garrett was the father of her son. That whole notion kind of escaped him. Until Rich got a good look at the kid, who turned out to be a miniature version of Frank. That simply floored Rich.
What? Frank’s what…Frankie…a son…Frank has a son.
Granted, Roxanne had pretty much denied the possibility that Frank was the boy’s father. But the resemblance was too much for it to be a coincidence. The boy looked exactly like Frank—his hair, his eyes, the shape of his face. And Roxanne had named him Frankie.
Frank and Roxanne have a son. Then he thought about the fact that, as far as he knew, Frank didn’t know anything about the child. Oh, No. Rich knew Frank had had enough problems over the years because of Roxanne Simon without adding fathering her child to the list.
Rich knew what he had to do. He had to get to the bottom of this. Unfortunately, he knew of only one way do that. He’d have to see Candy.
But was he ready for that? He hadn’t contemplated seeing her again. He didn’t think he’d have to. For the most part, he’d put her behind him. He’d convinced himself that whatever had existed between them was over and done, and he didn’t care if he ever saw her again. But, because of Frank, he had to.
Roxanne was sitting at her desk in her study. Having chosen to start working on the autobiography, she let the consequences of that decision sink in. Finally, the whole truth would be known. That of course meant she’d have to tell the truth about Frank Garrett. That he was Frankie’s father.
Admitting that publicly would also bring about a whole slew of questions that she’d be expected to answer. Like for instance, why she had let someone else—namely Kirk Bronson—claim to be Frankie’s father.
Kirk Bronson. She’d caused him a lot of trouble without trying. The famous musician from England had been cast as her first co-star. And they quickly became the best of friends. Roxanne had also formed an amiable friendship with Sara, Kirk’s wife. During the filming of The Secret, Roxanne hadn’t been all that stable, mentally. The handful of people who knew about it, including Kirk and Sara, kept it very hush-hush.
Roxanne’s scenes had been filmed after Frankie’s birth, and the movie premiered when he was about ten months old. The producers persuaded Kirk and Roxanne to attend the premier together for publicity purposes.
…Roxanne and Kirk had strolled down the red-carpeted walkway, pausing periodically to pose for pictures. This in itself had made Roxanne extremely nervous. Everybody told her that using a stage name would make her virtually invisible. But she knew…she knew if Frank saw any one of these pictures, he would know it was her.
The pack of reporters began asking the usual questions, all taking note of the answers given to the others.
Someone called to her, from out of the crowd, and by her real name. “Roxanne...has Frank Garrett seen the baby yet?”
Roxanne froze.
Kirk had known how Roxanne felt about Frank finding out about the baby…so, without giving a second thought to the consequences, he said, “Why would Frank Garrett want to see my son?”
Needless to say, the press had a field day with that one. Which, incidentally, led to a divorce between Kirk and Sara Bronson….
And now, all these years later, Roxanne had no idea if Frank knew about Frankie or not, much less Kirk’s public declaration that he was the boy’s father. If Frank did know about it, did he believe what he’d heard?
Over the years, Roxanne had tried to put the memory of Frank Garrett to rest, but all her attempts were in vain. While she refused to acknowledge his existence to most people, still, she knew. She knew everything that’d ever happened to Frank and Garrett-Hollander during the past five years. She knew that every song he’d ever written was about her, and she knew every last one of them all too well. Whether the topic included anger, hatred, vengeance, or simply regret, the subject was always the same. The subject was always her.
Ironically, she’d thought she could run away. Yet, every time she turned around there he was on some radio station somewhere, singing about her.
Roxanne shivered, trying to shake all those songs out of her mind and her heart.
Granted, she hadn’t always handled the past the best way she could have. But the one thing she had done right back then was accepting a minimal actor’s fee in exchange for a small percentage of the first movie’s profits. The Secret grossed over one-hundred million dollars and Roxanne quickly realized the position she and Candy were in. Before agreeing to sell the movie rights to her second book Always and Forever, she insisted on retaining five percent of the profits. With two box office hits under her belt, Roxanne ended up a wealthy woman.
Candy and Frankie sat side-by-side in the living room, watching TV. The telephone rang and she answered it without much forethought.
“Candy?” she heard Walt’s voice.
“Yes, Walter, it’s me.”
“I got this call from Garrett-Hollander’s manager.” His voice was filled with confusion.
At the mention of the famous rock group, her heart jumped into her throat.
“It seems that Rich Hollander is trying to contact you,” Walt said. “I didn’t know you knew him that well.”
“Well…that was way before you entered the picture, Walter.”
“So what’s this all about?”
“I haven’t a clue,” she said. “You’ve had more contact with them than I have.”
“There’s a phone number.”
Candy took the number and couldn’t resist calling right away.
“Hello...” She recognized Rich’s voice. After all those years, hearing it was comforting.
“Hi, Rich,” she said.
“Candy?” he asked. “How are you?” A coolness had invaded his tone.
“I’m fine.” She tried to hide her nerves. “What’s up?”
“I need to see you. It’s important.”
“Sure,” she said with all the cool and casualness expected of an award-winning actress.
Her concurrence came a bit too easily to suit Rich. “Should I come there?”
“No!” Now her voice perked up. “That’ll scare the hell outta Roxanne.”
“Well…how about a late lunch this afternoon?”
They made plans to meet at Bennigan’s within the hour.
After Candy left, Frankie went upstairs to find his mother. Figuring he’d find her in her study, he tapped on the door gently.
Whenever he knocked, she always knew it was him. “Hi, sweetie.” Her voice traveled through the door. “Come on in.”
Even at his young age, Frankie knew his mother worked in her study. What she did in there, he wasn’t exactly sure. But he knew, while she was working he wasn’t supposed to disturb her, unless something important came up. And Frankie figured this was important.
Roxanne smiled, watching him run across the room. “What’s up?” she asked. “Did Aunt Candy abandon you?”
“What’s that mean?”
“Did she leave?”
“Yes,” he said, and then his eyes lit up like he remembered why he’d come in. “Mommy, who’s Rich?”
“Rich?” The mention of his name startled Roxanne.
“Yeah, Rich. Aunt Candy was talking to him on the phone,” he said. “And then she left to go see him.”
“Frankie, have you been eavesdropping on Aunt Candy?” As soon as she asked the question she realized he probably wouldn’t know what that meant. “Never mind…see…he’s an old friend of Candy’s.” She stumbled around the words, trying to explain. “She knew him a long time ago. Before you were born.”
“Oh...” Slowly, Frankie headed for the door. He opened it and then turned to look back at Roxanne. “Mom? Is Rich ugly?” he asked with a puzzled look.
“Why would you think he’s ugly?”
“Aunt Candy told him not to come here cause he would scare the hell outta you.”
Roxanne chuckled. “No, he’s not ugly. She just meant that seeing him again, after all this time, might be a shock for me.”
Roxanne found herself wanting to say, know your favorite band, Frankie? Well, Rich plays in that band. But hell, if she was going to go that far, then she might as well go all the way and tell him the singer was his father.
But like Frankie’s father had said—there are things that should just be left alone. This was one of them.
She could be certain about one thing though—if Candy was meeting Rich, then Frank couldn’t be far behind.
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