Roxanne felt immense relief as the baby came out. Thank you, God! Finally, it was over.
“It’s a boy!” she heard someone say.
Within minutes of cleaning up the baby and wrapping him in a snug blanket, the nurse placed him in Roxanne’s arms. A chill breezed through her as she held her son for the first time. Fighting the tears, she looked down at the baby. He opened his eyes and appeared to look up at her with hauntingly familiar blue eyes. Gently, she kissed his cheek and then hugged him.
The delivery room doors burst open and Candy came rushing in. “Am I late?” she asked, surveying the room. When her eyes fell on Roxanne and the baby, she froze.
“It’s a boy,” Roxanne said.
Candy cooed and her eyes began to water as she reached out to touch him.
“Would you like to hold your nephew?” Roxanne asked.
Candy took the baby and cuddled him close. “Aren’t you just the most precious little thing that anybody’s ever seen.”
From that moment on, a bond formed between Candy and little Frankie. They would always be nephew and aunt, and nothing anyone said or did would ever change that.
~ ~ ~
Rich laid the papers on the desk. His gaze traveled up to Candy, and he this a sad, far-away look in his eyes as he asked, “Has Frank read this?”
“Yes.” Candy nodded.
“How did he react?”
“Let’s just say that...” She hesitated and shrugged. “Now Frank has a different outlook on the time he and Roxanne were apart.”
“It didn’t upset him that Kirk Bronson was with her while she was in labor?”
“No.”
“That’s odd.”
“Why?”
“Well, aside from the fact that Frank spent all those years thinking Kirk Bronson was Frankie’s father…and Roxanne had been unfaithful to him.” Rich paused. He wasn’t comfortable discussing that part of Frank’s past with anyone. Not even Candy. “Without Her was nominated for a Grammy, as was Kirk’s title track from your movie.” Rich told Candy something she hadn’t realized. “Anyway, we lost the award to Kirk’s band, and that only fueled the fire for Frank. He’s always considered Kirk Bronson his arch-enemy.”
When Frank showed up, Candy sent Rich and little Frankie out to get ice cream. She and Frank needed to talk.
“So what are we working on today?” Frank asked.
“Why didn’t you tell me how you really felt about Kirk Bronson?” she asked casually.
“That’s not the issue.”
“Considering how you truly feel about him, it’s pretty remarkable that you didn’t show the least bit of anger that he was with Roxanne while she was in labor with your son.”
“How I feel about Bronson is not important. He was a good friend to Roxanne, and he was there for her when she would have otherwise been alone. There’s no just cause to be angry about that.”
Maybe Frank didn’t feel the need to be angry anymore because now he knew that even though Kirk was there with Roxanne, it wasn’t enough. She wanted and needed Frank. He was the only one who could have made a difference.
“Do you still hate him?”
“With a passion.”
“You never cease to amaze me, Frank.” She chuckled softly.
“Have I told you about Frankie’s dreams lately?” he wondered off-handedly.
“No.”
“He’s been having these dreams that Roxanne isn’t in the hospital. He says she’s at the water.”
“At the water?” Candy said, confused.
“I think he wants her to recover and come home so badly that he dreams she’s at the water because he knows she loves the beach.” He gave his own interpretation of Frankie’s dreams.
“I guess this is pretty hard on him. Roxanne is all he’s ever known.” Candy tried not to fret about something she had no control over. “She’s always been there for him. And now she’s not.”
“I hate myself for that.”
“Would you stop with this self-hatred and blaming yourself?”
“It’s my fault, you know.”
“How many times do I have to tell you it’s not your fault?” Candy had grown tired of this game they seemed to be playing, day in and day out.
“Okay!” Frank blurted out. “I’m going to tell you the truth. And what I’m about to say will change your opinion of me forever.” Knowing this, he continued. “I hated Roxanne. I wanted to drive her crazy. I wanted her locked up in the nuthouse where I figured she belonged. I didn’t marry her because I wanted to be reunited with my long lost love.” He saw the shock on Candy’s face, but he didn’t stop. “I married her because I wanted her to pay for what she’d done to me. For keeping my son away from me.” Frank was blaming himself for what had happened to Roxanne, and he figured everybody else should, too. There was anger in his words, but it wasn’t meant for Roxanne. He was furious with himself, and so far beyond being mad at her anymore. “I wanted her to be locked away from me and my son.” He paused to revel in a brief moment of self-loathing. “I hate myself for what I’ve done to her—and Frankie. I’m so ashamed of myself.” He waited for Candy to say something. He wanted her to yell, to scream at him. Tell him he was a disgrace to the human race.
Candy didn’t yell. She thought about it. But Frank had already condemned himself more than she, or anyone else ever could. And Roxanne’s problems ran so much deeper than Frank deciding he was going to push her over the edge just because he thought he could. But with Roxanne’s fragile state of mind no one could have guaranteed what her reaction would have been, no matter what he’d said or done.
“I pray that someday I’ll get the chance to tell her how sorry I am. She needs to know that she means everything to me.”
***
Chapter 28
Surprisingly, to Jason anyway, Kirk had tracked him down all the way from London. “Hello, Kirk,” he said coolly into the phone. “How are you?” he asked politely, stalling. He knew why Kirk was calling.
“I heard about Roxanne,” Kirk said, getting straight to the point.
“You heard all the way in England?” Jason asked, still stalling.
“Tragic news has a way of crossing oceans. What happened to her?”
“She’s in a coma.”
“I know that.” His exasperation reached across the wire and stung Jason. “How did this happen?”
“Well, we really don’t know how it happened,” Jason lied easily. He wasn’t about to admit to anyone, not even Kirk Bronson, that Roxanne had purposefully taken an overdose.
“I’ve heard the rumors,” Kirk paused. “Is that what happened?”
“What rumors?”
“Did she try to kill herself?” Kirk was under the mistaken impression that Jason would tell him the truth.
“That’s ridiculous.”
“I’m coming to the States. Where is she?”
“No one can see her, Kirk.” Jason didn’t want Kirk Bronson to come nosing around. Besides, if he showed up that’d piss Frank off. Jason didn’t need Frank pissed off. He liked him much better in his current guilt-ridden state. It kept him from making a nuisance of himself. “It wouldn’t do you a bit of good to come.”
“She’s going to need someone to be there for her when she wakes up.”
“To be honest with you, Kirk…the doctors aren’t holding out much hope that Roxanne will ever wake up.”
“How can you say that? Of course she’s going to wake up. And I’m going to be there when she does.”
“You don’t know, do you?” It was more of a realization than a question for Jason. “You haven’t heard.”
“Heard what?”
“Roxanne married Frank Garrett last fall.” Jason dropped the bomb, hoping it was enough to keep Kirk away. Of course, he knew that was wishful thinking.
The weeks turned into months and Roxanne’s status never changed. Every time Frank phoned the hospital, the information was always the same: Roxanne remained in a deep coma.
In the meantime, Frank, Candy, and Rich continued to work on Roxanne’s book. The project provided the means by which each of them put off learning to deal with the fact that Roxanne wasn’t an active part of their lives anymore, especially Candy and Frank.
Candy listened diligently as Frank recalled the circumstances leading to the birth of his music. The events surrounding his writing Wild She-Cat would surely test Candy’s resilience.
She had a hard time writing about what he’d told her, but she told herself that Roxanne would’ve been professional about the whole thing. So Candy pulled on her big girl panties and began work on the hardest scene in the book so far. When she handed the pages to Frank, she knew her version of the events would have to pass his standards.
~From the autobiography
California was a completely different world for Garrett-Hollander. They’d been out west for a few months, but time had not healed the wounds for Frank Garrett. The hectic schedule of the bar tour did little to take his mind off his loss.
He and Rich carried their luggage into one of the many motel rooms on the circuit and neither of them paid any attention to the trash magazine on the dresser.
“I’m going to go pick up some burgers,” Rich said, once they’d brought their luggage inside. “You want the usual?”
Frank nodded. “Sounds good.”
After Rich left, Frank decided he’d watch a little television. Maybe check out the news and see what was happening in the world. About to turn on the TV, he glanced past the magazine, having no desire to pick it up, much less read it. But something caught his eye, yanking his attention back to the tabloid a second time.
In the top right-hand corner he saw a small picture of Roxanne and some guy. The photo was small but it still caught his eye. Shocked to see her picture on the cover of any magazine, he picked it up to take a closer look. He read the short inscription: Kirk Bronson and Amanda Cantrell. See page 28. He frantically searched for page twenty-eight, curious about the fake name.
Of course, the stage name had been used solely to elude Frank. We know now, that didn’t work out too well.
Frank scanned the brief paragraph about Roxanne.
British rocker Kirk Bronson, and newcomer Amanda Cantrell are set to co-star in The Secret, due to hit theaters in the fall. The movie is based on a novel written by Ms. Cantrell and is expected to be one of this year’s surprise hits.
Frank snapped the paper shut and looked back at the picture. She’d obviously been looking at the camera, but he was looking at her. Frank could easily guess what the guy must have been thinking at that moment. Hell, he’d been there before. Frank was an expert.
You’re looking at her
But she’s looking away
Have I got news for you
Frank squeezed the tabloid and stared at the photograph. Jealousy and anger surged inside.
It’s going to cost you
Nothing is free here today
She does her best work
Under the cover of night
“Yeah,” Frank said softly, as if he were actually talking to Kirk, “you think you got it made, don’t you?” He tightened his grip, gently tearing the magazine’s edges. “You don’t know what you’re getting into,” he warned his adversary. “But I know what’s going to happen to you. I know because I’ve been there before.”
You better leave her alone
You better call it a day
Listen to what I’m telling you
Cause money is her way
“Don’t let her beauty blind you,” Frank said. “I did, and you see where it got me.” His anger with Roxanne escaped in his voice. “She’s got one thing on her mind…and that’s money.” He wanted to kill them both. “You better watch your back, boy.”
I thought I could make her see
I thought she would give it all up
I thought she would do it for me
I’ve been a fool
Frank drew his premature conclusions at the time, even though he was a little bit ahead of himself. But then again, maybe he did sense that there was more to this than meets the eye.
~ ~ ~
Frank’s gaze drifted up to Candy’s and held her attention in silence. Finally, after what seemed like a whole month of silence, he said, “I like it.”
Candy sighed. “There’s more,” she said anxiously. “About Roxanne.” When she was sure he had a hold of his emotions, she handed him another batch of printed text.
~ From the autobiography
After Frankie’s birth, the realization finally hit home that Roxanne was going to be in a movie that would potentially be seen by millions of people. She got scared, fearing that Frank might see her, or hear her name mentioned somewhere and come after her.
Lyle, worried about losing his star, assured Roxanne that if she used a stage name she would be safe from discovery. He let her know it wasn’t that uncommon and everybody did it all the time. He made it sound so logical when he suggested that nobody really knew who any of these people truly were. Hence, Amanda Cantrell was born. The name actually had more meaning than just being a stage name to hide behind. Amanda Cantrell was the name of Roxanne’s maternal grandmother.
Candy was cast in a small part in the movie. She didn’t want to break the sister relationship so she also dubbed the last name Cantrell.
Roxanne’s scenes began shooting when Frankie was about six weeks old. By this time Without Her had broken the top twenty on the music charts. Sadly, it didn’t break the top ten. Other singles were released from Garrett-Hollander’s first album including Roxanne, but none of them were destined to break into the top ten—not at this time. Garrett-Hollander had thought they were headed to the top, but unfortunately their first album was labeled a flop. Luckily, their contract called for one more album.
Kirk didn’t find out the identity of the baby’s father until he and Roxanne were well into filming their scenes for The Secret. It happened one day when Roxanne and Candy had joined Kirk and Sara for lunch.
“Why are you using a stage name?” Sara was curious. By now, she felt comfortable around Roxanne and didn’t have a problem nosing into her husband’s co-star’s business.
“Well...” Roxanne hesitated. Perhaps, it was better to admit the truth and then beg for discretion. “I don’t want Frankie’s father to find me.”
“He didn’t know you were pregnant when you left, right?” Sara said, as if she were trying to get the story straight.
“No,” Roxanne said.
“What made you decide to leave without telling him?” Sara wondered about this because she knew Roxanne was still in love with her baby’s father. Her mental instability proved that.
“He wouldn’t be where he is today if I’d told him,” she said. “He would have quit the band to take care of us.”
“Huh?” Now Sara was confused. She thought she knew everything there was to know about this Frank fellow. She stood corrected.
“Frank is Frank Garrett of Garrett-Hollander,” Candy said with a tight smile. “Surprise.”
“What?” Kirk nearly choked.
“Really?” Sara was too awed to pay much attention to Kirk’s reaction. And she didn’t understand Roxanne’s reasoning. Frank Garrett made women everywhere swoon, and Roxanne Simon had not only dumped him but she’d run out on him.
Kirk had a different opinion. He resented Frank Garrett, although he didn’t realize it at the time. In his eyes, Frank wasn’t worthy of Roxanne. Roxanne had said that Frank had been mean to her and he didn’t like the idea of anybody being mean to Roxanne, for any reason whatsoever.
The Secret opened in October. Lyle had Kirk escort Roxanne to the premiere for publicity purposes. Roxanne sat silently through the entire movie. She was secretly impressed with herself, proud over the fine performance she’d given.
Outside the theater, the press lurked about, eager for those affiliated with the film to come out and talk to them. One reporter in particular, Max Belair, had a
few questions for Ms. Cantrell. He’d done some research on her and learned a lot in the process. For instance, he knew her name wasn’t really Amanda Cantrell. He knew her name was actually Roxanne Simon. He also knew she’d had a lengthy affair with Frank Garrett, co-founder of the rock band Garrett-Hollander. He found it curiously odd that she’d mysteriously left him more than a year ago. But, the most intriguing thing of all, Roxanne Simon gave birth to a bouncing baby boy just after the first of the year. Now Max never claimed to be a math whiz or anything, but if his calculations served him correctly then he’d bet that Roxanne’s kid belonged to Frank Garrett.
Roxanne and Kirk exited the theater and Max pushed his way up to the front of the crowd. While all the other reporters called her Amanda and asked questions about the movie, Max called to her ever so softly, “Roxanne.” His use of her real name caught her attention right away. “Has Frank Garrett seen the baby yet?” he questioned her fearlessly.
Crazy For You Page 27