Roxanne froze.
But she wasn’t the only one who’d heard Max. Kirk had heard him, too. Knowing the importance of Frank never suspecting for a second that Frankie was his son, Kirk stepped up to the plate without giving a second thought about the consequences. “Why would Frank Garrett want to see my son?”
Every reporter in attendance heard Kirk’s proclamation loud and clear.
Roxanne couldn’t deny or confirm it. All she could do was stand there, dumbfounded.
Sara Bronson was a forgiving woman. In the past she had forgiven many of her husband’s mistakes. But this one was asking too much. Not that she believed his declaration because she knew it wasn’t true. However, the public humiliation turned out to be more than Sara could bear. As a result, the Bronson’s six-year marriage ended in divorce.
Even though Garrett-Hollander’s first album didn’t do as well as expected, financially, the song Without Her was nominated for a Grammy. And it was in competition with Kirk Bronson’s title tract from the movie The Secret.
When the Academy Award nominations came around, The Secret’s nominations totaled nods in six categories. The movie received recognition for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Director, Best Screenplay and Best Song.
When the Grammys were awarded, Frank lost to Kirk.
When the Oscars were presented, Kirk accompanied Roxanne and Candy to Los Angeles. Their stay in California equaled less than twenty-four hours but Roxanne was scared to death of running into Frank. After all, he was out there on tour. Somewhere.
Mark Ryan, recipient of last year’s Best Actor award, taunted the audience. “Oh, you guys don’t really want to know who it is, do you?” He stuffed the card back into the envelope.
Some attendees spoke up, telling him differently.
“Okay…all right, I’ll tell you.” He paused briefly, tearing into the envelope again. “Amanda Cantrell for The Secret.”
Amanda Cantrell. Roxanne sat there stunned, until she realized that was her. Somehow, she made it up on the stage. “I wasn’t expecting this,” she said breathlessly, gazing out at the audience. “But thank you all so very much.” She looked down at the audience and saw Kirk sitting beside her empty seat. She wished Frank were there. “First, I’d like to thank Lyle Williams and Martin Ford, both of whom convinced me that I could do this part. And Jason Fischer. Without him there never would have been a book, much less a movie called The Secret.” She paused, admiring the statuette in her hand. “And my sister Candy.” She looked at her. “Can you believe it?” Roxanne’s heart was about to pound out of her chest. She drew in a breath. “And last but not least, I’d like to thank someone who’s very near and dear to my heart. Unfortunately, I don’t get to see you anymore, but you were the spark that ignited the flame for The Secret.” She almost choked on the words and forced the negative feelings out with a hoarse, rumbling cough. “Thank you all,” she said, finding the strength to wrap her acceptance speech up gracefully. “And anyone else I may have forgotten.” Roxanne stepped away from the podium. The thought to acknowledge Kirk Bronson, her co-star, never crossed her mind.
~ ~ ~
Frank looked at Candy. “Who was it?”
“Who was who?”
“Who was she talking about at the Oscars?”
“Who do you think, numbskull?” Candy laughed at him. Not with him, but at him.
“Who do you think...?” Frank mocked her. “If I knew I wouldn’t be asking you.”
“Who was the one person that pushed her to write?” she questioned him. “The one who supported her and constantly offered her reassurance?”
Frank’s blank stare reached out and grabbed a hold of Candy.
“You, Frank!” Candy rolled her eyes, her patience about to snap.
“Me?” he asked with an unbelievable innocence. Turning away, he looked out the window. He was sitting in her chair, and he wondered how many times Roxanne had sat here staring out of this very same window. There was a lot to see outside.
“Are you going to be okay?” Candy asked, as if she could see his inner struggle—the one he thought he’d kept hidden away.
He let his gaze linger on the scene outside the window and then slowly turned back to Candy. “I really don’t know,” he said truthfully. “She’s been in the coma for months now, but it’s not getting any easier to deal with. If it weren’t for Frankie, I wouldn’t care if I lived or died.”
“Frank, you’ve got to be strong,” Candy snapped at him. “For your son.”
“I’m not going anywhere, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he said. “I deserve to live in the hell I’ve created.”
“Maybe you should talk to someone,” she suggested. “Maybe you should talk to Jerry.”
Frank cackled. “I’m not talking to that fruitcake.”
“Frank,” Candy said. “We all love Roxanne dearly. We all miss her and we want her to wake up. But you’re in way over your head.” She shrugged and bit into her bottom lip. “You can’t go on like this.”
“Candy, I know you mean well.” He gave her the benefit of a doubt. “But pouring my heart and soul out to someone about how much I love Roxanne and how much I hate myself for what I’ve done to her, and our son...” He shook his head. “...is not going to happen.”
“Well then, I suppose if you’re ever lucky enough to see my sister standing before you again...then you should remember this. And whatever you do, you’d better swallow your silly pride and try your damnedest to convince her that you really do love her.” She paused, seriousness washing over her expression. “But I’ll tell you this...” Her tone followed suit with its own form of sincerity. “If I ever see you treating her the way you have in the past...I’ll cut you down and blow you out of the water.”
She was so serious, it was kind of cute. And it almost cut the tension. Almost. “And you’re assuming that she’s going to wake up. I pray for that every minute of every day…but even God is condemning me.”
The way Frank saw it, if everything he’d learned as a kid was true, then God had the power to heal Roxanne. And Frank had been begging him to do just that, but God wasn’t listening. Even He must be thinking Frank didn’t deserve to have Roxanne back in his life.
***
Chapter 29
Candy and Rich had begun a daily ritual inside Roxanne’s study where they’d work on the book. As usual, she waited anxiously for the hard copy as it came off the printer. “I heard Glen and Ronnie started a new band,” she said, making small talk.
“They did,” he answered.
“Did they ask you to play with them?”
“Yes.”
“So why’d you turn them down?”
“Well, Candy…it’s all about loyalty.” He was certain she could understand that. “See, Garrett-Hollander was, is, and always will be, a team. If I joined them, it’d be too much like Garrett-Hollander. The next thing you know, we’d be playing Garrett-Hollander’s music.”
“And there’s something wrong with that?” she asked, as if it were a trick question.
“If playing our music hurts Frank...then I can’t be a party to it being played.”
“I see,” she said slowly. “I suppose loyalty isn’t always a good thing, is it?”
“It may not always make you happy,” he said. “But if you’re not loyal then you probably don’t have many friends.”
“So what you’re saying is…no matter how misguided your loyalty is, you should always remain faithful to your friends.”
“You wrote the book on that one, didn’t you.”
“I guess I did.”
“Got any more for me to read?” he asked, wanting desperately to change the subject.
Candy gathered up the papers and gave him a smile as she handed them to him without a word.
~ From the autobiography
Shortly after the Academy Awards Roxanne and Kirk began their ill-fated affair. Their time together was bittersweet and very short. It was sad, really
, the two of them. First, because Kirk truly loved Roxanne. Maybe he had all along, he just hadn’t realized it. And Roxanne, Roxanne wanted someone to make her feel the way Frank Garrett had. She convinced herself Kirk was capable of doing that. In the end, it didn’t matter what Kirk did or said because Roxanne couldn’t put Frank out of her heart or her head. Kirk knew it, too.
The end came swiftly. They’d gone out to dinner and neither of them went to the restaurant to call it quits, but fate took a hand and gave their breakup a little push.
Roxanne and Kirk were tucked away in a dark, secluded corner of the restaurant that was illuminated only by candlelight. There was no one there to bother them. No one to intrude upon them, or interfere with what was about to happen.
Kirk sipped his wine and gazed at Roxanne. He would have married her and raised her son as his own. But she wouldn’t hear of it. He’d asked her to marry him and she’d turned him down flatly. She’d made it clear she wouldn’t teach her son a lie. And telling Frankie that Kirk was his father would be a lie.
“No one can say we didn’t try,” Kirk said.
“Lord knows we tried,” she agreed with a feeble smile.
“Probably harder than we should have.”
Roxanne reached across the table for his hand. Hurting him was the last thing she wanted to do, and she hated that it was happening. But what else could she do? Staying with him wasn’t fair to either of them. Especially Kirk. He knew, just as she did, that she couldn’t give him the love he deserved or needed.
Besides, they both had to get on with their respective lives. Kirk had a European tour coming up, and Roxanne’s second novel Always and Forever was on the bestseller list and Lyle was putting together a cast for the movie. Again, Roxanne would be his star. But this time, Kirk would not be her leading man. Lyle had said he had to give her a new co-star because she couldn’t afford to be typecast with Kirk Bronson.
“You do know that in my own way...” She felt the need to say. “I do love you.”
“I know.” He forced a smile. “You’re just not in love with me.”
“I tried to be. I really did.”
“It’s not your fault that you can’t stop loving him.” He attempted to let her off the hook.
“Why can’t I?” She wanted desperately to know the answer to that one. She’d tried everything imaginable to stop loving Frank Garrett. But nothing ever worked. She woke up each morning, loving Frank more than the day before.
“Roxanne...” Kirk broke into her thoughts. “Have you ever thought about going back to him?”
“It’s too late for that,” she said. “Besides…” She laughed skeptically. “Who says he’d have me back?”
“Do you ever listen to the radio?” He laughed, as if he found her response comical. “There’s not a song that he’s ever sang that wasn’t about you!”
“It almost sounds like you’re rooting for him.” She couldn’t help but be surprised by that notion.
“Maybe I am. Maybe, deep down inside, I know he’s the only one that’ll ever make you happy.”
Roxanne knew that to be true. She also hadn’t overlooked the fact that Frank hated the ground she walked on. No matter how much she may wish for things to be different, she knew it was too late.
Production for Always and Forever started just after Frankie’s second birthday. Lyle had been impressed with Candy’s performance in the first movie, so he had her test for a bigger part in the new movie. Ultimately she won the role of the other woman. This would prove interesting as well as challenging for Roxanne and Candy to portray enemies.
Lyle managed to sign David Faulkner as the man they would be fighting over. David, a well-respected and very sought after actor was a big triumph for Lyle.
Roxanne had gone to his office where she and Candy were supposed to meet David. Entering, she saw him standing there with his back to her. A haunting chill rushed through her as she gazed at the tall, thin, dark-haired figure that reminded her of Frank.
David turned around and smiled when he saw her. “Amanda Cantrell.” He extended his hand to her.
She returned the smile, easing her hand into his. Unable to take her eyes off of him, she studied his face. They were similar to Frank’s. And those eyes, those same blue eyes. Although quite similar, they weren’t really the same. It’s more likely that it was Roxanne’s fantasy to look into David’s eyes and see Frank’s.
Right away, Roxanne took to David because he reminded her of Frank, even though David had at least ten years on him. But to Roxanne he was like an older, more mature version of the man she’d been trying so desperately to get over. David had one thing going for him that Frank lacked—David was not a musician.
While Roxanne became acquainted with her second co-star, Garrett-Hollander’s second album hit number one on the charts. Three singles from the album had made it to the number one spot, with the promise of more to come. And finally, the public couldn’t get enough of Garrett-Hollander.
By the time the filming of Always and Forever ended, David had revealed that he’d fallen in love with Roxanne. She’d declared her love for him too, but in reality it was only a memory that she loved. She tried to tell herself that she loved David for himself, and not because he reminded her of someone.
Garrett-Hollander swept the Grammy nominations. When the awards were presented, they stole the show. They were rewarded three times, including the coveted album of the year award. Finally, Frank Garrett was right where he wanted to be. But it was lonely at the top. No matter what he did to change it, in the end he was always alone. Nothing or no one could fill the emptiness Roxanne had left him with.
The Oscar nominations were no different than the last time Roxanne Simon had been there. Except this time there were more nods, eight in all. When the awards were presented Always and Forever claimed six. Roxanne walked away with two awards that evening, Best Actress and Best Screenplay. Candy joined in the revelry, claiming the Best Supporting Actress title. Roxanne and Candy had successfully portrayed enemies, proving their worth in Hollywood. On that night, their efforts had been rewarded.
In New York City a late snow fell in April that year. With the inclement weather came the end of Roxanne and David’s affair. In Central Park they walked together, hand in hand, with the snow falling steadily.
“You know that I have to leave,” David said softly, regrettably.
“Yes, I do.” Roxanne kept her focus straight ahead. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Still, neither of them looked at the other. “Just be happy for the time we’ve shared.”
“I will never forget you.”
“I hope you don’t.”
“Will you stay for Candy’s birthday party?” Finally, she looked at him. “It’s the day after tomorrow.”
“Of course, I will.” He smiled. “It must be great to know you two have each other to count on.”
“Candy and I have been friends forever. And that’s the way it’ll stay.”
“That’s good,” he said. “I’ll feel much better knowing I’m leaving you in good hands.”
Roxanne didn’t say anything, she just looked the other way. She felt like crying, although she wasn’t sure why. Maybe because she’d wanted David to fill the void Frank had left her with. But it never happened. In the end, David—just like Kirk—deserved more than Roxanne could give.
“Listen…” He stopped and faced her. “If you ever need anything, anything at all...you call me.”
“I might just do that some day.” She laughed softly, wishing things could’ve turned out differently. “Years and years from now, I just might call you up and ask you to do something for me.”
“All you have to do is ask,” he said, “And it’s done.”
Inside Roxanne and Candy’s New York apartment, Candy stared out of the window at the falling snow, hanging onto an unopened beer. Watching the snow float down to the streets below, she thought about Rich and how he used to make her laugh.
S
he didn’t pay much attention to the deejay on the radio, announcing a new one from Garrett-Hollander. As the song started, she quickly took notice because she knew it was Rich singing.
She was the light
That showed me the way in the dark
Candy stared at the radio and twisted the cap off the beer. Nothing like having your mistakes thrown in your face on a daily basis. She threw the cap at the stereo. Rich continued to sing.
But now she’s just the pain
That burns inside my heart
She wanted something that I couldn’t give her
Crazy For You Page 28