“With all this reminiscing that you’re doing for my benefit—” She dragged out the inquiry. “—what if you begin to see what a jerk I really was...and decide I’m not worth the effort a second time?”
“You weren’t a jerk.” His voice was soothing. “I didn’t think so then and I’m not going to think so now. And as for the effort...? I’d put forth the effort a hundred times over, if it meant there was even the slightest possibility that you could fall in love with me again.”
Roxanne looked at him. Do you believe in love at first sight? She was beginning to. “I just don’t want to find myself in love with you, only to find out that you don’t love me anymore.”
“Baby, that will never happen,” he said. “I tried for a lot of years to stop loving you. But no matter how hard I tried to tell myself I was over you, when all was said and done it just wasn’t true. The problem back then was that I didn’t realize it until it was too late. But I won’t make that mistake again.”
“You sound so certain of that.”
“I spent eight months thinking I’d lost you forever. I’ll never let anything so trivial as my pride come between us again.”
A sad, out-of-touch sensation filled Roxanne heart. She wished she could remember something. Anything. “Please, go on with your story. I want to know about the night we were first together.”
“Well,” he said softly. “You were a bit apprehensive because you thought I had this great experience advantage over you. But I quickly put those fears to rest,” he added, bragging.
“And how, pray tell, did you accomplish that?”
“I have my ways.” His laughter teased her. “I am a man of many talents, you know.”
“And what talent exactly was it that you used that time?” She teased him right back.
“Well I basically told you it was a journey that only you and I could take together. Essentially, it didn’t really matter what I’d done in the past because what you and I shared would be something I could never have with any other woman.”
“It’s no wonder that I fell for you.” She sighed. “Well...I’ve discovered one of your so-called many talents.”
“And what do you think you’ve learned?”
“You’re a silver tongued devil, that’s what.” She laughed.
“Nah,” he said, “I’m just a man in love, that’s all.” He looked away. While he was a man in love, he was also there alone.
“I’ll let you in on a little secret.” She felt as giddy as a teenager. “While I’ve only known you for the better part of a week—that I can remember anyway—I want to be in love with you.”
Frank told her about that first night from such a long time ago. About the bubble bath, the champagne, and how Candy had barged in on them. He also told her how he’d promised her a bottle of Dom Perignon someday.
“And did you ever make good on that promise?”
Regrettably, he had to answer, “No, I didn’t.”
“You are a man of your word,” she asked. “Are you not?”
“That I am.”
“Then, when you least expect it, I’ll let you know that it’s time to make good on your promise.”
***
Chapter 35
During the next few weeks, until just before Christmas, Frank and Roxanne spent their nights sitting out by the pool while he told her about all the things that had happened to make them fall in love, and to make that love grow into a deep and everlasting devotion between the two of them.
But Roxanne could only try to imagine what it must have been like for her when she watched him up on the stage, way back when Garrett-Hollander was nothing more than a bar band touring Florida. She understood that it wasn’t the musician she was initially attracted too, but surely that part of him must have been a factor in her falling in love with him. And for as much as she knew she was falling, she also knew there was something missing.
Roxanne listened to Garrett-Hollander’s music over and over. She watched all the videos as often as she listened to the albums, and she took a keen interest in the recorded concert footage. In Frank’s words she could hear the resentment, anger, and hatred that he’d undoubtedly felt after she disappeared without a word. But most of all, she heard the pain and hurt she’d inflicted upon him.
It just wasn’t the same though. Something was missing. She longed to see him perform in person. But with the way things stood now, that wasn’t likely to happen. He’d made that very clear.
A few days before Christmas, Roxanne was rummaging through her closet. She was curious about what kind of person the writer and actress in her was. She knew absolutely nothing about the woman she’d become. The same woman who’d stole a rock star’s heart, and in turn broke that same heart a thousand times over. In the back of the closet she found a garment bag. Mainly out of curiosity she pulled it out and draped it across the bed. Opening it, she found herself with a beautiful gown of pale-pink lace and silk.
“Geez,” she muttered. “Where the hell did I wear this?”
“It’s your wedding dress,” Frank said from the direction of the doorway.
Roxanne gasped and turned around. He was standing there with a slight smile on his face. “You scared me.” It was kind of funny now though, after she’d felt a wave of relief.
“I’m sorry.” He strolled toward her. “That was not my intention.”
“It’s okay.” She laid the gown on the bed. “This is my wedding dress?”
He nodded and sat down next to the dress.
Roxanne sat on the other side of the garment. It was the only thing between them. She pulled the gown up and held it against her. “I can’t imagine wearing a beautiful dress like this.”
“Indeed you did.” He smiled sadly and touched her cheek. “You were absolutely stunning.”
Roxanne looked away bashfully. “I wish I could remember…” her voice trailed off as she tried to hold back the tears.
“Do you want to see it?”
“Huh?” she didn’t hide her confusion.
“The tape,” he said. “Do you want to watch the video of our wedding?”
“There’s a video?” she asked, hopeful.
“Come on.” Frank latched onto her hand and pulled her to her feet. “Let’s go watch it together.”
Downstairs, he put the tape in the VCR and took a seat beside her on the couch. He laid his arm along the back of the couch. He used his free hand to snag the remote off the coffee table and then pressed play.
Roxanne watched anxiously as Glenna descended the stairs first, then Candy escorted by Rich. She wondered why Rich was with Candy, then remembered what they’d said about Candy being blind at the time.
All shots of Frank in the video weren’t exactly complimentary. He’d been standing around with a sullen look on his face. It looked as if he couldn’t care less about what was going on and it seemed the quicker it was over the happier he’d be. But that all ceased when he saw Roxanne at the top of the landing. A genuine smile crossed his face, if only for a moment, as he watched her make her way down the stairs. Yet he was wearing sunglasses.
Roxanne watched as they both exchanged vows and were pronounced husband and wife. She blushed, seeing Frank wrap his arms around her and kiss her. The reception was small and informal. And the camera’s eye followed Roxanne, Candy, and Glenna into the backyard. The camera didn’t go out with them, just filmed them from inside. They smoked a joint. It was clear they were laughing and carrying on, but whatever the details of the conversation were, the camera was at as much of a loss as Roxanne was.
The tape ended and the screen went black. She remained still for a time, trying to calm her pounding heart. Finally, she turned to Frank. “Was there any time at all during that day, when you were the least bit happy about us getting married?” She begged for the truth. “Was there even a single moment that you were happy about us being together?”
“Deep down inside, I guess I was.” He didn’t want to lie or mislead her. “I was determ
ined not to let it show though.”
“Is that why you refused to take off your sunglasses?”
“Pretty much,” he said. “But I was so consumed with my anger...I overlooked the fact that all I ever really wanted was just to have you back in my life.”
“I have a better idea about what you were thinking on our wedding day, than what was running through my own mind.”
“Maybe it’s better that you’ll never know.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well I think it’s safe to say—” He had to wonder if his bid for complete disclosure would ultimately do more harm than good. “—you were probably wishing that our marriage was the real thing.” Even though he had his reservations, he kept talking. “But all the while you knew, deep down inside, that something wasn’t quite right about the whole thing. You could sense things that way.”
“So…you married me for the sole purpose of getting me to sign the papers legalizing your parental relationship with Frankie.” She paused in thought. “And then you wanted to distance me from the two of you.” She looked at him. “Looks like you got what you wanted...because right now, considering that I have amnesia, I couldn’t be further from either of you.”
“While I’ll admit I do deserve that,” he said. “I do regret that Frankie is no longer in your memories.”
“You know what’s really ironic?” she said. “I robbed you of the first four years of Frankie’s life. And now, I don’t have any recollection of those years either.” She laughed helplessly. “Guess that kind of makes us even.”
“I would trade my life for you to have those memories of Frankie back where they belong.”
“Don’t say that.” She placed her finger against his lips to silence him. “I don’t want to lose you now.”
Frank grabbed her hand and pulled her toward him. He’d promised not to impose himself on her, but he couldn’t help it anymore. He had to kiss her and he had to do it now. “I will love you forever,” he said and brushed a sweet, sensuous kiss against her lips.
Christmas morning, Frankie was up early and very eager to open his presents. Frank and Roxanne had as much fun watching him as Frankie had opening his packaged surprises.
“Have no fear.” Frank sat down beside her on the couch. “Santa didn’t forget about you,” he said, handing her a gift-wrapped box.
“For me?”
“For you.”
Roxanne ripped into the present and found a bottle of Dom Perignon. She looked at Frank. What was he trying to tell her?
“No pressure,” he said. “I’m just making good on my promise, but it’s entirely up to you if and when we ever use it.”
“I have something for you too,” she said, still holding onto the bottle of champagne.
“Really?”
“Frankie,” Roxanne said to her son. “Why don’t you get Daddy’s present from behind the tree?”
Frankie struggled to drag out the huge, oblong package from its hiding place.
Jesus. Frank got up to help him. What the hell is this?
Halfway unwrapped, he realized it was a guitar case. He opened it with reluctance, feeling a mixture of remorse and joy when he saw the Les Paul inside. Frank snapped at his emotions and closed the lid with finality. “This was a really nice gesture—” He tried to play it off. “—but you shouldn’t have done it. I don’t play anymore.”
“Yes, you do.” She boldly met his eyes. “In your heart you’ll always play.”
“I don’t play anymore,” he said calmly, yet more forceful this time.
“But why?” She knew Frank had destroyed his guitar. But she was back now, and she thought he’d naturally want to play again.
“The music came between us, Roxanne.” He gave her a look that seemed to beg her to see his side. “I can’t let that happen again,” he said, more defiantly now. “No more music!”
Later that morning, Candy, Rich, Glen, and Glenna arrived at Roxanne and Frank’s place. Roxanne had already put the turkey in the oven and now she, Candy, and Glenna continued with the preparations for their yuletide feast.
“So how are things going with you and Frank?” Candy asked Roxanne while peeling sweet potatoes.
Roxanne hesitated a second, and then pleasure crossed her face and she smiled slyly.
“Okay.” Candy knew she was hiding something and she’d willingly bet that it was pretty juicy. “Out with it. What’s happened?”
“Well … he kissed me the other day,” she said bashfully.
“What kind of kiss?”
“Passionate.” Her breath caught in her throat, shaking her voice. “Very passionate.”
“Have you guys slept together yet?” Candy dared to ask.
“No!” Roxanne said sharply. “Of course not.”
“Why not?” Candy looked at Roxanne like she was crazy.
“Well I really don’t want to look like a slut.”
“Rocky—” Candy scolded her. “—nobody’s going to think you’re a slut for sleeping with your husband.”
“Oh, yeah.” The light bulb turned on. “He is my husband, huh? I keep forgetting about that.”
“Are you in love with him?” Candy asked as if she already knew the answer.
Just as the realization formed in Roxanne’s mind, she blurted it out, “Yes.”
Glenna had been quiet, listening attentively. Finally, she spoke up, “You know what I think?”
“If it’s encouraging.” Roxanne laughed softly.
“Girl, it’s time for you to go out there and claim your man.”
“Huh?” Roxanne asked, anxious.
“Oh, no.” Candy shook her head. “I’ve seen that look before. He’s your husband. He loves you. He’s not going to reject you, or turn you away, saying, ‘Oh sorry, Roxie. But I really don’t want to sleep with you!’…I mean, really, please....”
“He did give me a bottle of Dom Perignon,” Roxanne said. “But he said it was totally up to me when or if we ever used it.”
Candy knew what that meant but Glenna didn’t, so Candy decided to shed a little light. “The first time they had some cheap champagne. Whatever Frank could afford back then,” she said to Glenna. “But he promised her one day they’d do it again with Dom Perignon.”
“Oh, how sweet.” Glenna smiled at Roxanne. “He wants to recreate the first time with you again. Has he told you exactly how it happened?”
“Yes.” Roxanne’s cheeks burned.
“Oh…yes!” Candy’s voice was full of animation. “The first time they had sex was in the bathtub in the condo.”
Glenna replied only with sharp laughter.
“Come on...” Roxanne pleaded in a whisper. “The guys’ll hear you.”
“I know exactly what you need to do,” Glenna said with a deliberate nod. “And you should do it on New Year’s Eve.”
Roxanne’s long-time tenants had recently vacated the condo. So the next few days, Candy and Glenna schemed and plotted to recreate Frank and Roxanne’s first time together.
Finally, New Year’s Eve came. Using the pretense of a party at Glen and Glenna’s house, they managed to separate Frank from Roxanne for the day.
Glenna had asked Frank to come over and help Glen and Rich with the preparations for the evening. At first, he tried to back out saying he didn’t want to leave Roxanne alone. But she’d quickly said that she and Candy had to meet the tenants vacating the condo to return their deposit if the conditions of the condo were acceptable.
That wasn’t a total lie. They were going to the condo, just not for the reason she’d given Frank.
Roxanne and Candy entered the condo through the front door. All kinds of memories flooded Candy’s mind, but there was nothing for Roxanne. When she went upstairs and into the master bathroom she stared at the tub, wishing she could remember anything. Some little something. She could only try to imagine what it must have been like making love with Frank for the first time.
“No memories?” Candy asked, as if she already
knew answer.
Roxanne didn’t say anything. She just shook her head slowly.
“Don’t get discouraged,” Candy said. “You’ll have some memories after tonight.”
A little later in the afternoon, Glenna sat near the telephone, watching and waiting. No one seemed to realize that she was watching for anything, much less waiting for it either. For that she was thankful.
Finally, the telephone rang. Quickly, she answered the call. She listened intently for a few seconds, looking in Frank’s direction. “Okay…I’ll tell him,” she said. “I’ll see you tonight,” she added for good measure.
Crazy For You Page 35