Beautiful Liar

by Natasha Knight

“I’ll walk you back.”

  She wasn’t going to do as I said. I had no illusions about that.

  THAT AFTERNOON, I went home with a heavy heart. Janey would be leaving soon. Unless she changed her mind, decided not to take the job, and stayed here. I tried to avoid talking about it, but it was obvious the decision weighed on both our minds. I thought about what Slater had said. How he wanted me to stop dancing. Both of them wanted me to stop. I wasn’t sure I could. It was my crutch. But maybe with Janey here, if she stayed…

  “I’ll clean up the dishes, Mac,” Janey said after dinner. “Let me just get Sadie bathed and to bed. You go relax.”

  “I have to dance tonight.” There was no away around it. I had to tell her the truth and save the lying for Slater.

  “Mac…”

  “Look, I’m thinking about what you said. I just…I promised Angie I’d cover for her. She’s sick, and she’s helped me out a few times. I owe it to her.”

  She sighed heavily. “If I stay, will you stop?”

  I went to her. I placed my hands over her arms and rubbed them before giving her a huge hug. “You have to make the decision to stay for you, not for me.”

  “You’re a big part of that decision, dummy.”

  I pulled back to find her smiling, although her eyes shone with unspent tears. “Then stay.”

  One of those tears fell, and she wiped it away. “Aunt Alice may like having her place back. She’s seeing someone. Same someone for the last three months. He’s eight years younger than her. Did you know that?”

  “Good for her!” Aunt Alice had been married once, but her husband had died in a car accident before Janey and I had been born. I’d known her to date now and again and was glad she’d met someone. “She’ll miss you and especially Sadie, I’m thinking.”

  “She’s been great to us.”

  “We can visit her together, the three of us.”

  Janey nodded. Sadie tugged at her hand. “Potty, mommy.”

  “Okay, honey.” Janey gave me one more hug. “You go ahead, and I’ll be right there.” Sadie went to the bathroom.

  “I’ll give my notice tonight,” I said, deciding. Maybe I just needed to take the leap. To be the first out of the two of us to commit.

  Janey’s smile widened, but before she could say anything, Sadie called out to her.

  “Go take care of your baby.”

  While Janey helped Sadie, I went upstairs to my bedroom and called Slater before having a shower and getting ready for what would be my final shift at the club. When his phone went to voice mail, I breathed a sigh of relief, unsure how believable my practiced excuse of being sick would be if I told it to him. Voice mail would be easier. I hated to lie to him, but I was sure he wouldn’t let me go, even if I told him it was my last night.

  “Hi, Slater. Listen, I’m not really feeling well, so I think I’m just going to hang out with Janey on the couch and watch movies tonight. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I hung up and switched off my phone in case he tried to call me back. I showered and had a cup of tea with Janey before leaving for the club. It felt good, actually. Now that I’d decided, I knew it was the right decision to make. We’d figure out the money. We’d figure out Bill. In fact, with the possibility of Janey and Sadie staying and given how things stood with Slater, I felt happy. It was something I hadn’t felt for a very long time.

  The club parking lot was busier than usual, and I remembered a bachelor party had booked the place. Great. A bunch of horny, drunk twenty-somethings to dance for. They were the worst, like they never got away from their girlfriends or wives and didn’t know how to act when they did. Didn’t know that just because you danced, you weren’t a fucking whore.

  Whore. I remembered when Slater had used that word the first night. When he’d first come to Bandon, he’d hated me. I shuddered. Things could have gone so differently between us.

  I parked my car, grabbed my bag, and headed inside, grateful it was Lisa’s night off. I hadn’t seen her since the other night, but it made my blood boil to think of her, of her jealousy, her meanness. I’d never done anything to her, but from day one, she’d had it in for me.

  A light rain fell tonight, but it was cold enough that I worried the roads would ice over. I hated driving in snow or ice, but this was it. My last night. I planned on telling Jack at the end of my shift, but when I ran into him, almost literally, as soon as I stepped inside, I decided to just get it over with. Then I could leave once my shift was over, and I wouldn’t have to see him again.

  “Well, hey, Mac,” he said, his eyes scanning me from head to toe. Even through the loose hoodie and jeans I wore, he gave me the creeps.

  “Hey, Jack.”

  “Covering for Angie?”

  I nodded. “And I want to let you know this will be my last night.”

  “I figured that was coming.”

  Although unsure how he’d take it, that wasn’t what I expected. But then he continued.

  “I expect you’ll be stripping fully naked, as agreed.”

  “Angie told me…”

  “Angie ain’t here, and you’re covering her shift. There are expectations among the crowd. I want your naked ass on that stage, and I want you to show them everything. Go out with a bang and all. That, or you can cover her shift in the private rooms. You decide.”

  I shook my head, wanting to turn around and leave but knowing he’d only make the others work harder for my absence.

  “I need to get ready.” I tried to scoot by him, but the hallway was too narrow. He pressed himself against me, trapping me against the wall.

  “Looking forward to your dance.”

  I wasn’t sure if it was his touch, the look in his eyes, or the way he licked his lips that made me sick to my stomach.

  “Don’t touch me.” I shoved him away. Fuck him.

  “Always did think you were better than the rest of us.”

  “No, not better than the girls. Just you. Just better than you, Jack.” With that, I went into the dressing room. As fearless as I may have sounded on the outside, inside, I trembled, my heart raced, and adrenaline pumped through me. But all I had to do was get through tonight. That was it. I just had to get through the next few hours, and I’d never have to see Jack again. Now to wrap my head around the fact that I’d be completely naked—more than that—in front of a roomful of men. When I’d first started stripping, doing so had bothered me, but I also knew it was necessary. I’d had little choice. I’d been able to push those thoughts aside. But now, it was harder to do. I figured Slater had something to do with that.

  Although I rarely ever did so, I drank a big glass of wine and then another while getting ready, so by the time it was my turn to go out there, I felt a little more relaxed. My music started, and I strutted out onto the stage, blocking out the noise of the men like I usually did, filtering the sounds so only the music played in my ears. I closed my eyes, wrapped my hands around the pole, took a turn, and imagined it was Slater out there, only Slater. Imagined he alone watched me, that I danced only for him. I kept my eyes closed at first, dancing, just dancing, stretching my leg up, resting one five-inch-heel-strapped foot up on the pole, leaning my head back, seeing Slater in my mind, his eyes dark like they were when he was aroused, seeing his hands, his naked chest, his strength making me feel safe, safer than I’d ever felt in my life.

  I imagined his cock, thick and hard and ready for me to mount, and as I stripped off layer after layer, I only thought of him. I gave them one hell of a show, teasing them as I played with the string of my panties, liking it, feeling dirty for it, becoming aroused as I finally stripped them off, bending deeply, imagining it was him behind me, watching me, wanting me, fucking me.

  The hours passed, and I made more money that night than I had in the past.

  “They tip good, huh?” Maria said as I got ready to leave. “I mean, the bachelor parties suck, but they tip good.”

  “Yep, they sure do.”

  “So I hear you’re done?”


  I nodded. “Yeah,” I said, knowing without a doubt I’d made the right decision. “I’ll miss you and Angie and some of the others, but I won’t miss Jack.”

  “Or Lisa!”

  We laughed.

  “You take care of you, Mac.” Maria embraced me.

  “You take care of yourself, Maria.”

  I realized I’d probably never see Maria again. Nor any of the other girls. It didn’t really make me sad. In a way, I just knew it was a part of life. Maria got ready to do one final dance. I packed up the last of my things and headed out, bypassing Jack’s closed door, not wanting to know what he was doing in there.

  Rain still came down, although it hadn’t turned completely to ice yet. Jack still hadn’t fixed the broken lamp. I walked toward my car in the dark, getting that uneasy feeling I sometimes got. I looked around, searching for Slater’s bike, wondering if he knew I’d lied to him. I felt guilty about it now, but this was it. I’d tell him tomorrow about quitting, probably leaving the part about my last shift out.

  But then, just as I unlocked my car, someone grabbed a fistful of my hair and slammed me against the car, pressing me facedown against it. I turned my head to see my attacker, but he wore a ski mask. I struggled, calling out for him to stop, to get away from me, but I felt powerless against him. He was just too strong. The hand that searched for the buttons of my jeans felt rough and calloused when he pulled them apart and touched my bare belly. I screamed, fighting with all I had, scratching at whatever I could, but then he spoke, his nasty breath burning the side of my face.

  “Too good for us, huh? Better than me?”

  “Jack?” He was drunk. He had to be. He wasn’t stupid enough to think I wouldn’t recognize his voice!

  “Shut the fuck up.”

  “Get off me!”

  He pulled my head back and slammed it down against the car, making light explode behind my eyes.

  He shoved my jeans down to just beneath my hips. I screamed again when I felt his cock through the fabric of his jeans, knowing he’d rape me if I didn’t get free.

  “Jack get off me. Please! You’re drunk, you don’t want to do this!” I cried, hot tears streaming down my face, fear weakening me as he dragged me down to the ground, pinning me facedown while he worked my jeans and underwear farther down my legs.

  Just when I thought it was over, that he’d rape me while I lay powerless, his weight was suddenly gone. Blood splattered onto my cheek as I turned to watch Slater yank Jack’s mask off before swinging, his fist colliding with Jack’s face making him fall backward. Slater stalked toward him, his face dark with rage.

  “Slater!” I yanked my jeans and panties up and stood.

  Jack spit blood and stumbled but righted himself, striking Slater once, although the impact wasn’t close to what Slater had just delivered. Slater grabbed Jack by the neck and slammed him against the wall of the building, holding him there.

  “I’m going to kill you!” He punched him again, and Jack’s eyes rolled to the back of his head.

  “Slater, stop. You’re really going to kill him!”

  Maria and several others ran out of the building, probably having heard the sounds of the fighting. Someone called out that the police were coming, but no one interfered.

  “I’m going to fucking kill you, you bastard,” Slater continued as if he hadn’t noticed us gathered around. I grabbed his arm, but he shoved me away to hit Jack again. The sound of police sirens in the distance had me trying again.

  “Slater, you have to stop.” I hugged his arm, hoping my weight would be too much to knock off, but when he looked at me, it was like he didn’t see me, not at first. “Slater, please.” I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. “Stop.” He turned accusing eyes on me, but then Jack stupidly spoke.

  “For a fucking no good whore?”

  He spit blood onto Slater’s face as the tires of the police vehicles crunched the gravel of the parking lot and doors slammed. Two officers approached, weapons drawn.

  “Slater,” I said more quietly. “He didn’t hurt me. You were in time.”

  “Back away, hands in the air, now!”

  Jack chuckled, wiping the blood off his nose as Slater’s grip loosened.

  “Back away, hands up in the air!” The officer called again, cocking his weapon.

  I turned to them. “He didn’t do anything wrong. He saved me.”

  Everything moved so fast, then. Jack spoke to the officers. Fuck! I forgot he knew the police here quite well.

  “I came out here to find this son of a bitch attacking one of my girls.”

  “That’s not true!”

  He wiped blood from his mouth. “Fuck it ain’t. Just get him out of here.”

  Slater didn’t speak to me, he wouldn’t, but his gaze told me the betrayal he felt. My heart sank as they handcuffed Slater.

  “You pressing charges, Jack?”

  Jack looked at me with a pointed glare. “There’s no problem here, is there, Mac?”

  An officer, female, approached me. She glanced at Jack, then at me. “You all right, ma’am?”

  I nodded, watching as they closed the door with Slater in the back. “He didn’t do anything wrong. He came just in time.”

  “Do you need to see a doctor?” she asked, looking at my face in the light of her flashlight.

  “No, I told you, he came in time.” Slater’s eyes remained locked on mine.

  “Well, we’ll need to take him down to the station for now. I’m going to call an ambulance for you.”

  “I told you, I’m not hurt!” One of the officers climbed into the cruiser where Slater sat. “You can’t take him!”

  “Ma’am, go home. Get yourself cleaned up. There’s nothing you can do for him now.”

  “Where are you taking him?”

  “North Bend Police Department.”

  Ignoring her advice of going home, I got into my car and drove to the police station, arriving only after they’d taken Slater away. It took about an hour before someone could speak with me and take my statement, then another hour before they finally released Slater.

  Blood stained his face, blood I was sure belonged to Jack. Slater wouldn’t speak to me until we got out to the car, and all I saw in his eyes now was hurt.

  “Are you all right?” he finally asked.

  I nodded.

  “You lied to me.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  He didn’t respond. Instead, he climbed into the car. I did the same and started the engine.

  “My bike is at the club.”

  I nodded and drove back there. Without a word, he climbed out, and without looking back, got on his bike and rode north.

  Slater didn’t return that night, nor the next. I know, because I went over to see him, to talk to him. To apologize. In fact, he didn’t come home for the next four days. I told Janey what had happened, and she reacted differently than I expected. Although I wasn’t exactly sure what I expected. She just got very quiet, very thoughtful, and over the next few days, I watched her closely, seeing how she held Sadie a little longer, hugged her a little tighter.

  “You okay, sis?” I finally asked, unable to take the silence.

  “This all happened because of me.”

  “What?”

  “At the club, that man almost raped you. And if it weren’t for me, you’d never have been there in the first place.”

  “Wait, what? How do you even get to that?”

  “If it wasn’t for me, if you didn’t need to send me money, you’d never have taken that job, Mac.”

  I snorted, shaking my head. “You’re being ridiculous. This is hardly your fault.” I stopped, knowing this would turn into a dead-end conversation. “You were a victim, Janey. What I chose to do, I chose to do. And it’s past now. I wasn’t raped. Period. I don’t ever want to hear you talk like this again, understand?”

  She remained thoughtful and silent.

  “I mean it, Janey. Don’t do this. I can’t have
you doing this.”

  “I’ve decided,” she said after a long moment. “I’m going to tell the police what Bill did to me. I’m going to put him in jail where he belongs. Where he should have already been, where he couldn’t hurt us.”

  “Janey…”

  She shook her head when I reached for her, forcing back tears. “No, I need to do this. It’s past time I did this. All the bad things that have happened, they’ve all stemmed from this. From what he did.”

  We both looked at little Sadie, scribbling through page after page of a coloring book in the living room, so sweet, so innocent.

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I do. Not only for me, but for you and for Sadie too. I can’t be afraid of him any longer. I can’t always be looking over my shoulder. And I can’t protect everyone I love, not until he’s behind bars.”

  I knew it was the right thing to do. As hard as it would be, it was right.

  “And I’ve also decided something else.” She gave me a smile weighted down by sadness. “I’m staying, Mac. Sadie and I are staying. I called the day care earlier today and told them.”

  “You are?”

  “Yep. You and Sadie are the two most important people in my life. I don’t even know why it took me so long to decide.”

  “Who cares? You’ve decided now!”

  On the one hand, I felt so incredibly happy, and yet on the other, a weight rested like a brick in my belly each time I glanced out the window at Slater’s empty house.

  Early that evening, I went to Lydia’s house to let Zeus out and water her plants. It was when I returned to get Zeus his dinner after letting him into the backyard that I saw Slater again for the first time since that night. He stood just inside Lydia’s kitchen doorway, wearing black from head to toe, his face a little sunburned. I wondered if he’d been out on his bike for the last few days, if that was where the color had come from.

  “You lied to me.”

  “I know. And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.”

  He walked inside, looking around. I stood where I was at the kitchen counter. Without a word, he approached, his gaze intense, the energy coming off him even more so. He took my face in his hands and tilted it upward, not speaking, simply holding me. Then, as gently as he’d held me, he turned me around, pushed me down over the counter, and lifted my skirt, keeping the flat of one hand at my lower back as he worked my panties down over my hips and to my knees.