Deader Still

by Jordaina Sydney Robinson

  I smiled. “What are the chances you have a new locker assignment for me today?”

  “Do you have a locker?” he asked

  My smile turned to a frown. “You know I have a locker.”

  “Does it lock?”

  “Are these textbook questions or something? Like fault diagnosing? You follow the answers on a flow chart?”

  His eyes darted to either side of the desk and avoided me totally. I was taking that as a yes. “If it locks then that’s your locker.”

  I blew out a breath and adjusted my fringe. The list of people I would be happy to find in my locker just kept getting longer and longer. “Okay. I’ll just take my assignment sheet then, please.”

  His voice jumped up in pitch. “You’re a facilitator?”

  I looked down at my mauve jumpsuit, the colour of trainee facilitators, then back up at him. “No, I work in the stables mucking out the dragons.”

  His eyes stretched wide and he strutted to the desk. “Do you think maybe I could take one out for a ride some time?” He flashed his perfect smile at me and I swear one of his teeth pinged with that sparkle you see in toothpaste advertisements. “I’m a skilled horseman. A dragon can’t be much different.”

  I blew out another breath and adjusted my fringe yet again. “Can I please just have my assignment sheet?”

  “What does a dragon caretaker need with an assignment sheet?”

  I patted my pockets to check I still had the dried apricots as I felt the onset of yet another headache. They’d all be gone by the end of the day at this rate.

  “My name is Bridget Sway. Can you please pull out my assignment sheet for me?”

  He turned his back on me to check the filing cabinet and then turned around with the sealed envelope. He frowned down at it, as if surprised it was in his hand. “Do you job share?”

  I just stared at him, my hand outstretched. It really wasn’t worth the effort to explain.

  He slapped the clipboard with the sealed envelope attached on the counter and the signing out book on top of it. “You’re so rude, I’m really not surprised you’re a murderer.”

  I was tuning him out as I signed the book in the trillion places required so it took me a moment to fully understand what he’d said. “I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

  “Sorry is just a word.” He closed the book and snatched it back. “It doesn’t mean anything without action.”

  “Okay, that wasn’t actually what I meant.”

  He hugged the sign out book to his chest. “Sorry doesn’t have another meaning.”

  I was about to blow out yet another breath but stopped myself. That wouldn’t help either. “You’re right, and I’m not really sorry—”

  “Knew it.”

  “Right … so. How am I murderer?”

  “Because you murdered someone.”

  “Uh-huh. I don’t kill them, y’know? I just find them stuffed in my locker. That’s why I’d like a new one. So someone else can find them.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me. “Is this some kind of trick?”

  “I don’t know. Is this some kind of trick?”

  “I don’t know. I’m asking you.”

  I held up my hands in surrender. “Okay. Who did I murderer?”

  “Don’t you know?”

  “For argument’s sake, let’s just say I’ve forgotten, okay? Now will you tell me about it, please?”

  He cocked his head like he was thinking it over. “Okay. But only because you asked nicely.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. You murdered that nice doctor lady.”

  “You actually saw me doing this?” I asked and Alex version 2.0 gave a shrug. I was going to have to ask him his name at some point. “Was that a yes or a no?”

  “Sort of.”

  “Okay. ‘Sort of’ tells me nothing. Where were you?”

  “I was—I was outside in the corridor.”

  “Ohhhh, so you’ve got a pair of x-ray glasses too?”

  “X-ray glasses are real?” His eyes stretched wider than they had when I’d mentioned the dragons. “Are they standard issue for facilitators?”

  Okay. No more sarcasm. And no more drinking the water in the canteen for me. “Were you in the room watching when I … murdered the nice doctor?”

  He straightened up and looked down his perfect nose at me. “No, because your locker is in the ladies’ locker room and I’m a man so I’m not allowed in there.”

  I lifted up my right hand to show him my palm. “If you don’t tell me the truth right now, I’m going to wipe dead person germs all over you.”

  “No. Please. Please don’t.” He recoiled and all the colour that had returned to his face drained away again. I raised my hand higher in warning and he shrunk in on himself in surrender. “I was using the ladies’ facilities. The men’s are so disgusting.”

  “Okay,” I said with a nod and lowered my hand. “So you were at the back of the room with a clear view. What did you see?”

  He pressed his lips together and shook his head.

  I raised my dead germ riddled hand at him again. “What specifically did you see?”

  “You came in, did some maniacal laughing, hit the nice doctor over the head with a log, shoved her body in your locker and left.”

  I stared at him. “What?”

  “You came in, did some maniacal laughing, hit the nice doctor over the head with a log, shoved her body in your locker and left.”

  I stared at him. “I hit her with a log?”

  “Yes.”

  “A log?”

  “Yes.”

  “Where would I get a log?”

  “I don’t know. Don’t get shirty with me. You’re the murderer! I’m sure you have a whole heap of murdery weapons at your disposal.”

  I blew out a breath and adjusted my fringe. I couldn’t help it. “If you think I murdered her, why are you talking to me and not reporting me to the police?”

  “Because I wasn’t supposed to be in there.”

  This was like pulling teeth. “Okay. Did I say anything to Dr Watson before I hit her with the log? Did we argue?”

  He paused in his panic long enough to look down his nose at me. “Dr Watson is a fictional character. Obviously they have the uneducated mucking out the dragon stalls. I shall be fine after all.”

  Don’t punch him in the face. Don’t punch him in the face. Don’t punch him in the face.

  “Why are you scowling at me?”

  I shook my head. “No reason. What was Wats— the nice doctor doing in there?”

  “Looking through your locker.”

  “She was looking through my locker?” Oh, that did not sound good. “Wait, how do you know it was my locker she was looking through?”

  “Because she checked a list in her hand and said, ‘Okay, Bridget Sway, let’s have a look in your locker.’”

  “That was nice of her to announce it. She had a list?” I asked and he nodded. I hadn’t seen a list on her when she fell out of my locker. “Did she check any other lockers?”

  “Only two before you came in and beat her to death.”

  “I don’t suppose she announced those names?”

  Alex version 2.0 shook his head. “Just yours.”

  “Great. And you’re not going to tell anyone about this, right?”

  “I’m not stupid,” he snapped and I resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow at that statement. “As long as you don’t tell on me for being in the ladies’ locker room, I won’t tell on you for murdering the nice doctor lady.”

  “Promise?”

  “Bridget.” Pete waved at me as he approached the desk. “Ready for a fun filled afternoon?”

  Alex version 2.0 held up his hand. “I promise.”

  “Promise what?” Pete said, his eyes darting between us as he reached the desk.

  “I promise I don’t want to muck out the dragon stalls.” Alex version 2.0 gave me a pointed look and disappeared into the back room.


  “Do I even want to know?” Pete asked, staring after him.

  “No. You very much don’t. What are you doing here?” I picked up my clipboard and headed along the corridor to the departures room.

  “Didn’t anyone tell you?” Pete plucked the clipboard from my hands.

  “You should know by now, no one ever tells me the important stuff.”

  “Fair point. As you’re being assessed, you have to be supervised while carrying out your duties. Looks like an easy afternoon,” he said as he scanned the assignment list.

  I sighed. “Why, oh, why does everybody insist on jinxing me?”

  ∞

  The afternoon had been as easy as Pete had predicted until he announced the penultimate assignment. I tunnelled us into Rebecca’s garden casually holding my breath against the overload of pollen for the second time that day. I was desperately hoping the wake was over because I didn’t feel like having to dodge a mass of people.

  Happily the garden was empty and the patio doors were open. I had the briefest thought that I should be grateful I died in the summer so I had plenty of time to come to terms with this misting business and then realised that was a ridiculous thing to be grateful for.

  I calmly stepped through the patio like a well-adjusted ghost who wasn’t holding her breath. Pete dawdled, admiring the garden. Rebecca was sitting at the dining room table with a laptop open in front of her and Madame Zorina hovering over her shoulder. I just couldn’t catch a break.

  Madame Zorina did a double take when she saw me. “What are you doing?”

  I made desperate slashing motion across my neck and jabbed a finger in Pete’s direction. She frowned at where I was pointing. By the blank expression on her face I was guessing she couldn’t see him.

  “Isn’t this what you wanted me to check?” Rebecca asked, speaking over her shoulder but not taking her eyes off the screen.

  “Yes, sorry.” Madame Zorina placed a hand on her shoulder. “I thought you were clicking on something else.”

  “That’s some garden,” Pete said as he backed through the patio.

  “Isn’t it though?” I asked glancing at Madame Zorina, whose attention was darting around the room looking for who I was speaking to.

  Pete frowned at me. “You’re not looking.”

  “I looked.”

  “When?”

  “I’ve been here before.” I figured that would be a safe thing to admit. Pete would assume it was work related.

  Madame Zorina kept giving the kitchen sweeping glances, trying to see who I was talking to, but every time her gaze passed right over Pete.

  Pete glanced from the clipboard. “Really? Because on the sheet it’s marked as a first visit.”

  “What?” I turned to him and searched the sheet in his hands. “How can you tell?”

  Pete pointed to a string of fifteen digits, a mix of letters, numbers and special characters at the top of the page. “Don’t you check this before a visit?”

  I shook my head with a shrug. “I didn’t even know what it was. I thought it was office codes or case files or something that helped it get filed properly.”

  Pete stared at me. “Wow.”

  “Hey, nobody told me. And if nobody told me how am I supposed to know?”

  “Who are you talking to?” Madame Zorina asked, her attention focused on me, holding her arms up and gesturing around the kitchen.

  “Who are you talking to?” Rebecca glanced over her shoulder at Madame Zorina.

  Madame Zorina gestured to where I stood. “I’m communing with one of my spirit guides.”

  I shook my head. “She’ll never buy that.”

  “Ask them if they know who stole my crystal scotch glass earlier.” Rebecca motioned in my general direction with her hand. “My sisters said it looked as though the glasses were being raised in a toast. Derek had two brothers, and both of them had already passed. We thought maybe he was reunited with them.”

  “Why is she talking to you?” Pete asked, pointing at Madame Zorina. “And why can she see you?”

  I held my hands up in a helpless gesture. “She’s a medium. She can see me. Why can’t she see you?”

  “Well?” Rebecca made a shooing motion in my direction. “Aren’t you going to ask them?”

  “Who are you talking to?” Madame Zorina asked and wafted her palm in Pete’s direction. “There’s nobody there.”

  “Are you talking to Derek? Is Derek here?” Rebecca pushed away from the table and stood, her head swivelling around the room. “Derek? Derek is that you?”

  Pete stared at me but thrust his finger in Madame Zorina’s direction. “Unless she’s your assignment, you’re not supposed to let her see you. It’s unauthorised haunting.”

  “Great. Yet one more thing no one told me. And, how exactly am I supposed to do that? Because I seem to have left my invisibility cloak at home,” I snapped.

  “Invisibility cloaks? I just can’t take any more of these revelations.” Madame Zorina shook her head and reached for one of the bottles of whisky left over from the wake. She poured a small amount into a glass, necked it, then poured another.

  Rebecca snatched the glass from Madame Zorina’s hand. “Who’s got an invisibility cloak? Derek? Is that why you can’t call him?”

  Pete’s voice jumped in volume as he jabbed a finger in Madame Zorina’s direction again. “What revelations is she talking about?”

  “How the bloody hell should I know? I’m a ghost, not a mind reader.” I snatched the assignment sheet from his hands and stormed out of the kitchen.

  “Well you better find some answers quick, Bridge!” Pete shouted as he followed me up the stairs to the bedroom.

  I moved the pair of slippers from the left side of the wardrobe to the right and ticked off my assignment. Pete burst through the bedroom door and I tunnelled to the last assignment of the day. Without the sheet Pete didn’t know where I was so I had a moment’s reprieve, but I knew he’d be waiting for me back at the bureau.

  I weighed my options as I snapped all three sticks of white chalk resting in the penholder on the desk of an office minion of some legal firm. The minion’s back was to me as he tried to chat up his colleague. From what I heard, he had some good lines.

  Madame Zorina hadn’t said anything that specifically implicated me in helping her. I could bluff it. As long as Oz didn’t find out.

  Pete was waiting for me in the departures and arrivals room back at the bureau, as expected. He took the assignment sheet from me and signed all the places he needed to sign then curled his hand around my bicep and gently escorted me out of the room.

  “You need to take your hand off me right now, Pete.”

  He growled at me. Like, an actual growling noise. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

  “No, because nobody tells me anything until after the fact,” I hissed back and yanked my arm out of his grip.

  He stared at me, his blue eyes sparking lightning bolts of fury. Pete checked the corridor in both directions. It was empty. He grabbed my bicep again and dragged me two steps forward and shoved me into a cleaning supply closet. He pulled the door closed behind him and loomed over me, his face an inch from mine.

  “Do you have any idea what will happen to you if the GBs find out what you’ve done?”

  “No, but I do have a really good idea what will happen to you if you don’t back up out of my face right this second.”

  Pete grabbed my upper arms and shook me. “What is wrong with you? You can’t talk to the living. You can’t tell them anything about this place.” There was an edge of desperation to Pete’s voice that had icy fairy feet skipping down my spine.

  I knocked Pete’s hands from my arms and shivered to dislodge my icy-footed fairy. “She spoke to me. What am I supposed to do? Ignore her?”

  “You’re not meant to be in their world unless you’re delivering a message to them.” He slapped the back of his hand on to his palm while he spoke as if that helped emphasise his poi
nt. “You stay on the afterlife plane where they can’t see you.”

  “Okay, well, my training didn’t exactly cover either of those things, let alone how to do them, so how was I supposed to know?”

  The supply closet door opened. Oz stepped inside. He closed the door behind him and leaned on it. “Doesn’t this look cosy?”

  Pete stepped as far away from me as he possibly could and held up his hands. “This isn’t what it looks like.”

  Oz gestured between us but spoke to Pete. “So, you’re not locked inside a supply closet with Bridget?”

  “Well, this has been fun but I have to get to my mandatory GA meeting. If you boys will excuse me?” I stepped in front of Oz and waited for him to move. He didn’t.

  His eyes travelled over me as if he was looking for something. When his eyes finally came back up to my face he held my gaze for a long moment. “We’re—”

  “Going to talk about this later,” I said with a nod and a sigh. “I know.”

  Oz stepped away from the door, his hand on the door handle and his attention on me but his eyes on Pete. “You’re okay?”

  “I’m fine.” I nodded and his eyes came back to me as if searching them for a lie.

  He seemed satisfied with what he saw because he opened the door for me. “You better get to your meeting then.”

  I hightailed it out of the door and along the corridor as quickly as I could. I needed to speak to Sabrina. I needed a plan for later. And a really, really good lie.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Sabrina was waiting for me by the front doors when I approached the fort. “How was your afternoon?”

  I shrugged. “Oh, y’know, I found an eyewitness to Watson’s murder. We’ve turned Madame Zorina to drink. Pete dragged me into a supply closet where Oz found us. And I’m pretty sure I’ve confirmed there is another level to the afterlife. Other than that, pretty standard. Yours?”

  Sabrina stared at me. “I just—I don’t even know where to start with all that.”

  I twirled a finger around my ponytail. “Yeah, you should try living through it.”

  Sabrina shook her head as if she was trying to clear it. “Okay, first things first. Who’s the murderer? No. Don’t tell me. Let me guess.”