All I Believe

by Alexa Land

  “He should trust me. No way on earth am I letting anything happen to you,” I said as I brushed his hair from his face. He was a bit pale beneath his tan, strain showing around his eyes. “Do you need your pain meds? That was a lot of activity for someone who’s supposed to be resting. I can grab them and a bottle of water for you.”

  “Not right now. I just want you to stay with me.” I placed my hand on his heart, careful to avoid his bandages, and he put his hand on top of mine as we headed out to sea.

  Chapter Sixteen

  It was easy to forget our troubles on a sailboat. The immediacy of the wind and the ocean, the simplicity of life on a small vessel, and the lack of distractions from the rest of the world distilled life down to a wonderful exercise in living in the moment.

  We headed northwest, toward Moorea, and stocked up on fuel and supplies when we made port. From there, we continued north to the gorgeous island of Teti’aroa, and Zan and Gianni dropped anchor in a cove so remote that it felt like we were the first people to discover it (this of course wasn’t the case, but it was awfully nice to feel like we’d left civilization far behind). The water was crystal clear and vividly blue, and the white sand beach was backed with a thick jungle. It was the closest thing to paradise I could ever imagine.

  We stayed there for several days. Gianni and Zan passed the time with long walks on the beach and swimming in the cove (frequently disappearing into the jungle for some private time), interspersed with periods of productivity. Every day, Zan would sit down for at least a couple hours with a portable keyboard and compose songs. While he did that, Gianni would sit close by, his legs tangled with his boyfriend’s, and write in a thick, leather-bound notebook. He admitted shyly that he was writing a book, and when I asked what kind, he told me it was a gay romance. “I mean, look at my life,” he said with a smile, glancing at his boyfriend. “What else would I possibly write?”

  At the two-week mark following Luca’s surgery (two real weeks, not his version), he started venturing into the ocean with me while I swam laps. He was still sore, so he mostly floated on his back in the warm, tranquil water, but he seemed happy. We’d take short walks too, even though he became fatigued pretty easily.

  We also borrowed an idea from my cousin and Zan and would carve out time to ourselves by going into the jungle each day. There really was no such thing as privacy on the boat. Luca wasn’t up for much hiking, but we just had to venture far enough to get out of earshot and to be screened from the cove by the thick undergrowth. In a little clearing we’d found on our second day there, we’d lay a blanket on the sand, strip naked and relax together in the warm sun, kissing and caressing each other.

  I could tell Luca’s health turned a corner when his libido reappeared. I knelt between his legs one day after we’d been on the island a week, and sucked his cock while stroking his shaft. I took my time, edging him while he moaned softly. It was gratifying to see him so relaxed and blissful.

  I knew his body well by then, and could tell when he really needed me to finish him off. I started sucking him harder and faster, pumping his cock with one hand while I jerked off with the other, and was soon rewarded with the sexy sounds he made when he orgasmed and the taste of his cum in my mouth. Once he was completely finished, I angled myself away from him and stifled a moan as I shot across the sand. When I looked back at him, he was propped up on his elbows watching me, and said, “You’re so fucking sexy that I can barely stand it.”

  I was grinning as I curled against his side with his arm around me and put my head on his uninjured shoulder. After a while he said, “We need to go home, Nicky.”

  “Whose home?”

  “Yours. San Francisco. We can’t keep hiding here being professional beach bums, we need to deal with Jerry and get our lives back. I’m strong enough now and my wound has healed. That was my excuse for staying here this long and avoiding reality, but we can’t keep hiding forever.”

  “Dante, Vincent and Andreo are trying to come up with a solution. We should give them more time.”

  “But it’s our mess, and I don’t feel right about putting it on their shoulders.”

  “Yeah,” I said, “but let’s not forget there’s a hitman after us. Also, there’s no telling how much of the family Jerry’s turned against us. How are you and I supposed to deal with any of that?”

  “I don’t know, but we have to figure it out.”

  I sighed and traced his happy trail with my fingertips. “You’re right about going back, but I’m afraid something will happen to you.”

  “I feel like I have to confront Jerry man to man and settle this once and for all. I can’t keep letting my brother and your cousins fight my battle, especially not now that I’m well enough to take care of this myself.”

  I rolled onto my stomach, propped myself up with my elbows, and studied Luca’s face. After a while, I said, “Okay. I’ll borrow Gi’s satellite phone and make some travel arrangements this afternoon. Where do you suppose the nearest airport is, back in Papeete?”

  “Probably.” Luca reached up and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. “I’ve been thinking about what happens afterwards, once the whole Jerry situation is resolved.”

  “What did you come up with?”

  “If he’s the only member of your family who poses a threat, I’ll be able to move to San Francisco after this.”

  “Is that what you want?”

  “I want to be wherever you are. If you’re staying in California for law school, then that’s where I’m going to be, too. Then there’s the question of living arrangements. I’ll obviously get an apartment, and here’s what I was thinking. We’ll pick it out together to make sure it’s a place we both like, but you only move in when you’re ready. It doesn’t matter if that takes a couple weeks or a few months, it’ll be there for you when the time is right. All of this has been moving at lightning speed, and I know you’re a cautious type of guy, so I’m not going to go in with the expectation that you’ll want to start living together immediately, just because I do.”

  “I’m not going to want to wait, Luca. I love you. Just like you said, wherever you are is where I want to be,” I said softly before brushing my lips to his.

  *****

  San Francisco felt like a different planet after that little island in the South Pacific. It was cold and so foggy that it delayed our flight by nearly three hours. Dante and Vincent were waiting for us at the airport, their expressions grave. “This is a terrible idea,” Dante said as he gave me a hug. “You two are walking into a lion’s den.”

  “I know. But you get why we couldn’t keep hiding, right?” I said.

  “Yeah, but you’re taking a hell of a chance.”

  Dante shook hands with Luca, who asked, “Has my brother arrived?”

  Vincent shook his hand too and answered, “Andreo’s flight from Rome gets in this evening.”

  Dante added, “He wanted me to be sure to tell you not to confront Jerry until he arrives. He said he has something that’s going to help you. Hopefully it’s not an AK-47.”

  They led us to a big Land Rover that I suspected was armored. “How’s Nana?” I asked. “I’m looking forward to seeing her.”

  “She’s under house arrest. We can stop by if you want. I have the place heavily guarded, so you should be fine there,” Dante said.

  “Define ‘house arrest’.”

  “She was all set to, as she put it, ‘bust a cap in Jerry’s ass,’ so I hired a team of bodyguards and instructed them not to let her leave the house,” Dante said. “I know that sounds extreme, but I think she might have literally shot him.”

  “But he’s her grandson,” Luca said.

  “And he’s our cousin, but that didn’t actually stop him from sending Nico’s brother the hitman to kill you in front of him,” Dante said. “Just because someone’s related to you doesn’t mean they’re family.” He had a point. “By the way, Nana still doesn’t know what Nico’s dad and brother do for a living, and we w
ant to keep it that way. She’s upset enough as it is.”

  A bunch of cars crowded the driveway at my grandmother’s house, as was often the case. There were also three huge men with dark suits standing around the front perimeter. “Don’t worry,” Vincent said when he saw me looking at them. “They’re with us.”

  Jessie let me in since I didn’t have my keys, and grabbed me in a hug. “Holy shit, Nico, I was starting to wonder if I’d ever see you again,” he said. Just then, Nana’s huge, hairy mutt, who inexplicably was named Tom Selleck, ran into the foyer and tried to mount Jessie. My friend reached into his pocket and threw a handful of kibble across the room, which the dog went after enthusiastically. Jessie didn’t miss a beat as he asked me, “Are you okay? How’s Luca?”

  I’d asked him to wait in the car with Vincent and Dante for a few minutes. I wasn’t quite sure how Nana had taken the news of who his father was, and if she was already in a bad mood, I didn’t want to set her off. I said, “He’s healing, and I’m fine. How have you been?”

  “Worried. I hate to see Nana stressed. She’s definitely finding ways to keep herself entertained, as you’ll see, but she’s not the type of person to sit around the house. Like at all.”

  “I can imagine. What about you? You must be getting bored sitting at home with her,” I said.

  Jessie grinned at me. “This house is enormous and there are a ton of ways to keep myself entertained. For one thing, I’ve been working on Sharona. I almost have her where she needs to be to race her.”

  “Sharona?”

  “Chance gave me his Honda Civic, that’s what I call her.”

  “Oh right, I knew that. Guess I forgot.”

  “Understandable. You’ve had a hell of a lot on your mind.” He was leading me up the wide staircase as we were talking, and said, “My friends have been coming over a lot, too. They’re in an alternative rock band and had been touring around the west coast, but they’re back in town now. They’ve been giving music lessons to Nana and her friends.”

  “I remember you mentioning them. Two couples, one gay, one straight, right?”

  “Yup. Total recipe for disaster as far as bands go if either couple breaks up. Anyway, they’re upstairs, too. Nana sort of converted the ballroom into a multimedia activity center for herself and her girlfriends after Dante told her she had to stay home. She’s so mad at him.”

  “I can imagine.”

  When we reached the top floor and he opened the door to the ballroom, I just had to pause and take it all in. Three of Nana’s tiny senior friends were massacring a rock and roll song that I almost recognized on the guitar, bass, and drums, while a couple guys in their twenties, who looked like they’d come through time from the Seattle grunge scene in the 1990s, were cheering them on. “That’s Dev and Holland,” Jessie called over the ruckus, indicating the grunge rockers. “I’m not sure where Val and Little John went.” He looked around the room and pointed to the right as he said, “Oh, there they are. Mr. Mario came by to do Nana’s hair and brought a friend of his who’s a makeup artist. They started doing makeovers.” The very flamboyant hair stylist and his equally colorful friend were demonstrating makeup tips to three more little old ladies and the second pair of rockers. Their reluctant models were two huge, uncomfortable looking men in dark suits and ear pieces, who sat under little plastic capes while the professionals made them up.

  “Are the guys getting made up the bodyguards who are supposed to be keeping Nana from kicking Jerry’s ass?” I asked.

  “Yeah. They’re nice guys. Dante always makes sure not to send assholes.”

  “So where’s Nana?”

  “I don’t know. She was just here,” Jessie said, looking all around us.

  We walked farther into the huge room. It was a beautiful space with a wall of windows and a mural of a snowy birch forest on the walls. A makeshift aerobics/pole dancing studio was set up in one corner, and an art studio with a dozen half-finished canvases took up another quadrant. I noticed with a wince that all the canvases showed a nude, well-endowed male model. I was just glad I didn’t recognize him.

  All of a sudden Jessie said, “Oh shit. Not again.”

  I turned to look at what he was talking about, and noticed one of the windows was open a few inches. A rope made from bedsheets was tied to the old, disused metal radiator. When I rushed to the window and looked down into the backyard, I saw Nana trying to kick Dante while her boyfriend Ollie tried to turn the hose on him. Fortunately Vincent stepped in and disconnected the hose before Ollie got that far.

  A couple minutes later, Dante came upstairs with Nana in a fireman’s carry. She was cussing like a sailor. Ollie trailed behind, looking contrite, and Vincent brought up the rear, attempting to suppress a grin.

  As soon as Dante appeared in the room, the pair of bodyguards leapt to their feet. They still wore the little yellow plastic capes, and enough makeup to pass as drag queens. “Really?” Dante said.

  The bigger of the two explained, “You told us to humor Mrs. Dombruso and her friends. That’s what we were doing.”

  “And meanwhile, my grandmother re-enacts The Great Escape with a bedsheet rope.” He’d put Nana down, and she was glaring at him and fixing her hair. She was dressed in a camouflage jumpsuit and combat boots, and so was Ollie. It seemed like that should have tipped someone off about her plans. “Do you know how dangerous that was, Nana?”

  “I had my man acting as my spotter,” she said. “Ollie wasn’t gonna let me fall. He cares about me, not like you. Keeping an old lady prisoner! You should be ashamed of yourself, Dante! These are sub-human conditions!” She marched over to the wet bar, grabbed an open bottle of high-end champagne and chugged it down.

  “It’s just temporary,” he told her. “I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret. We’re working on a way to deal with Jerry and we hope to have a resolution soon.”

  Nana put her hands on her skinny hips, still holding the champagne. “I’ll tell you how to deal with him! You march over to his house with thirty men, you tell him you’re taking the family back, and then you ride him out of town on a rail! What’s so complicated about that?”

  Dante changed the subject by saying, “Nico’s here, Nana.”

  She looked around and her face lit up when she finally spotted me. “Nicky!” She rushed over to me, pulled me down to her height, and kissed both my cheeks. “Are you okay, Sweetpea?”

  “I’m fine. How about you, Nana?”

  “A prisoner in my own home,” she said dramatically, then looked around and asked, “Where’s Luca?”

  “He’s waiting in the car.”

  “Actually,” Dante said, “he’s downstairs in the living room. We sent him inside when we had to go after Bonnie and Clyde.”

  “Why’d you make him wait in the car?” Nana asked.

  I said, “I wasn’t sure if he’d be welcome here, now that you know who his father was.”

  Nana pointed a bony finger at me and said, “Let me tell you something. My father was a mean drunk. He’d smack my mother around. None of us were all that heartbroken when he died suddenly. I know better than anyone that you don’t get to choose your parents, Nicky. You’re dealt a certain hand and you make the best of it. That sweet, beautiful man of yours took a bullet for you! And you think he won’t be welcome here? Bullshit! Call him and tell him to get his ass up here!”

  I had to grin as I pulled out the burner phone Dante had given me at the airport and selected one of three numbers programmed into it. “Come on up,” I told Luca when he answered. “We’re on the top floor. Follow the noise.”

  Jessie said, “I’ll go get him,” and bounded from the room.

  Nana produced her glasses from a pocket of the jumpsuit and put them on before grabbing my shoulders and pulling me down again. “Let me look at you.” She squinted at me through the thick glass, then announced, “You look good!”

  “I feel good.”

  “You need to tell me all about Johnny and Zan and
how they’re doing.” Gianni’s old nickname had been given to him by his younger brother as a toddler, and Nana still insisted on using it.

  “They’re terrific. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two happier people. Gi is writing a book, a gay romance, and Zan’s writing dozens of new songs.”

  She let go of me and clapped her hands together. “That’s what I want to hear! Now we just need to fix everything for you and your honey, and you can be just as happy.”

  When Jessie brought Luca into the room, Nana charged at my boyfriend with open arms, then stopped short and said, “Where were you shot?”

  He pointed at his shoulder, and she grabbed his other arm, pulled him down and kissed his cheeks. “Don’t you worry, Luca,” she told him. “You’re a part of my family now and I’m going to take care of you. Come and sit! You need to not overdo it after getting shot. I know all about this stuff. I watch a lot of them detective-type shows on TV.” She made him comfortable on an antique fainting couch near the senior rockers, who took a break from their music lesson to rush over and dote on Luca. One of them tucked him in with a crocheted afghan (and felt up his biceps a little) while another brought him a spiked cup of hot chocolate.

  When Andreo arrived a few hours later, he got a cooler reception. Nana crossed her arms over her chest and stared him down. “I don’t approve of you pulling a gun on my Nicky,” she said. “That boy never did you harm. I understand you’ve come around since then and have been trying to help him and your brother so they can be together. Is that right?”

  “Yes ma’am,” he said contritely.

  “What your father did to my family is unforgiveable, but I’m not going to take that out on you. Like I was saying earlier, we don’t get to pick our parents. We do get to choose our actions though, and if you really have chosen to support Nicky and Luca, then you’re welcome here.”