Fire in the Stars (Steel Souls MC Book 2)

by Nikki Groom

  “Fuck.” He rubs his head with his thumb and forefinger. “Were you…there?”

  “Yes,” I say, recalling every vivid detail as though I were standing and watching it unfold. “There was a break in. They were shot as they slept. I…” I pause, needing just a moment to bring the words to the surface. Words that have been buried for a long, long time. “I was…” My breath falters, making my words shaky and small. “Raped.”

  “Oh, God, Sadie…My Princess.” He jumps off the bed, his eyes glistening with anguish as he paces back and forth. “You were…I mean…how old were you when this happened?”

  “Eleven,” I say, dropping my gaze to the floor, unable to meet his pained, raging expression.

  He drops to his knees in front of me and holds my face in his hands. “I am sorry. With all my heart, fuck am I sorry. The bastard scum who did it—he’s behind bars? Because if not, you just tell me his name and—”

  “The man was never caught.” I hold his gaze, and his eyes flare with fire and the desire for retribution. “All evidence has gone. The case closed. They killed my mom and my baby brother, and they took every piece of the little eleven-year-old girl that I was. That’s how…” I smile at him. “That’s what led me back here. Retribution, revenge. I will find him, JJ, and I will make him remember every painful detail before I slit his throat.”

  “Not if I find him first,” JJ growls, getting to his feet. His large frame heaves with frustration, and anger pulses from him in waves.

  “I’m okay, JJ,” I try to reassure him, standing and placing my hand on his shoulder to stop him from pacing. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last few weeks, it’s to make peace within yourself. Make room for your past in a locked box in the back of your mind. Revisit it from time to time to remember that you’re a goddamn survivor and nothing can beat you down. But lock it away again, and don’t let it infiltrate your future. Your future is a blank canvas, one that only you can paint.

  “No.” He shakes his head. “You’re not okay. Look at the panic attacks you have. Did you suffer before…that happened?”

  “No.” I frown. “But—”

  “Whoever he is, is going to die a very slow, very painful death. I will make up for every second of pain you have suffered, Sadie.”

  “JJ…Dad,” I say quietly, sensing his need to hear it, and making this whole situation more real. “That’s my battle to fight. You don’t have to—”

  “Princess.” He smiles, cupping my cheek with his hand. “Your battles are mine, now. We’re one big family, here. Your battle is shared, and your troubles halved. Everything we do from here on in will be together, do you hear me. You’re not alone anymore, and you never will be. I would gladly lay my life on the line for you, do you understand?”

  His soothing voice, his gentle but insistent reassurance, and his protective presence makes everything all right. He calms my panic like no one has ever managed to before—not even Ramsey can calm my racing thoughts as quickly as JJ can. We might have missed out on many years of each other, but we have a lifetime to make up for it.

  Chapter 19

  “Hey, everything okay?” I frown, meeting JJ as he comes out of my room and closes the door behind him.

  “No.” He looks at me and blows out a breath.

  “Why? What the fuck has happened?”

  “I failed her, Ram.” He nods slowly, chewing on his lip. “I should have been there for her. I should have never let Annie leave. I should have torn up the roads until I found her and brought her back home to me. She was just a child, Ramsey.” His brow is knitted tightly together with pain, his eyes drowning in regret.

  “Is she okay? What did you say to her, for fuck’s sake?” I try to push past him to open the door but he stops me.

  “She’s fine, now. But she had a panic attack, was clutching a silver chain in her hands…you know anything about that?”

  “A silver chain?” I question, really fucking confused as to what he means. “I…oh, the silver chain on my cabinet? I found that on the floor at the waitress’ apartment. What’s that got to do with Sadie?”

  “She didn’t say. But she did tell me what happened to her, and her mom, and brother.”

  My heart actually stops. Anger pulses through my body every time I think about what happened to her. Every time the thought races through my head, it fucking kills me. But for JJ to know someone did this to his daughter? That’s got to hurt like fuck. “Fuck, I’m sorry, man. It wasn’t for me to say. That’s her story to tell.”

  “I understand.” He shakes his head while sucking in a breath through his teeth. “And I never thought I’d say this, but I’m fucking happy she has you.” He clamps his hand on my shoulder and looks me in the eye. “I trust you to put her first. I know you’ll look out for her as I would. But I am gonna find that son of a bitch and peel the flesh from his body if it’s the last thing I do.” A chill hangs on the edge of his words and his nostrils flare with fury. If we do ever find that man that raped her, I’m not sure who I would like to get to him first. I would take immense pleasure in his slow, painful demise. But, JJ…I think even I would steer clear of him in that situation.

  “Yeah, well if we ever find him, you’ll have to share.”

  “I don’t share, Ramsey, you know that.” He huffs out a laugh, but there’s no humor there at all. “Anyway, go and make sure she’s okay.” He jerks his head toward my door. “Where’s Ruck?”

  “In the bar. Honestly, man. We’ve gotta watch him. There was some shit at the Liquor Box this afternoon—new dealer thinking he owned the fucking place and Ruck slammed a knife through his hand.”

  “Good boy.” JJ nods his approval.

  “It’s not the knife that worries me. It was the look in his eyes. I think he’s unhinged.”

  “Okay, just keep him close. We’ll soon bring him back to himself. Being nailed to a cross is enough to drive any man to insanity.”

  “Yeah.” A pang of guilt slams into my chest. It should have been me. I should have saved him from that.

  “Who’s the dealer, and what did you do with him?”

  “Don’t know him. New face. Got him tied up in the Liquor Box basement. We did manage to get a time and place where he’s gonna meet his supplier after a little gentle persuasion…”

  “Yeah?”

  I lean in closer to him, keeping my voice down. “Salinas airport. Tuesday…” I let that sink in for a moment, and his eyes widen in realization.

  “Five. Twenty-seven,” he murmurs.

  I nod. “Coincidence?”

  “There’s no such thing as coincidences, Ramsey. Just cold, hard facts. We’ll be there. But tonight, we sleep, and tomorrow, we’re gonna have a fucking party, and nothing is gonna stop us. Oh.” He stops, coming closer and lowering his voice so Sadie doesn’t overhear. “Tex picked up old Mac’s ashes today. Didn’t want to tell her when she was like that.”

  “Yeah, I reckon I’ll wait until everything’s quieter.”

  “Your call. He’s in my office when you’re ready.” He pats my shoulder as he walks off down the corridor, and I take a breath before entering my bedroom.

  Pushing the door open, I see Sadie on the bed, curled tightly into a ball. “Sadie?” I whisper, not wanting to wake her if she’s asleep.

  She lifts her head slowly and glances at me over her shoulder. “Hey.” She smiles.

  “You okay?”

  “I guess.” she shrugs.

  “I just saw JJ. He said you had another panic attack.” I drop my keys on the chair as I pass and sit on the edge of the bed next to her, before stroking her hair from her face.

  “Yeah.” She smiles sadly. “Just another day in the life of me.” She jokes, trying to make light of it all.

  “I won’t leave you alone if you don’t want me to. I didn’t think—”

  “It wasn’t that I was left on my own.” She laughs dryly. “I’ve spent more hours alone in my lifetime than I have with company, I’m okay on my own.” Sh
e turns and pushes herself upright so she’s facing me. “Your silver chain.” She glances to it on the cabinet. “Where did you get it?” I tilt my head and, to my own annoyance, I question if it’s something she needs to know. “Ramsey, don’t hold out on me, the only way this will work between us is if you treat me as your equal, not like some little woman that you hide things from.”

  I place my hand on her knee and squeeze. “I’m not hiding anything from you. I just…”

  “Then tell me…where did you get it?” She raises her brows, looking at me sternly.

  “One of the girls didn’t turn up for her shift at the Liquor Box. I mean, this happens, but after everything with Len, something didn’t feel right so I went to her apartment to see her. She wasn’t there. But…the chain was on the floor. Her purse and cell were there too. Something isn’t right with it, but I haven’t had a chance to look into it further, I—”

  “It’s Nate’s.” She frowns, sliding her legs off the bed and walking to the cabinet.

  “What?” I splutter, jumping up and standing behind her. What the fuck was Nate doing at Jade’s apartment? As JJ said, there are no coincidences, only cold, hard facts. The facts are there. We just have to piece them all together.

  She runs the chain through her fingers, and I can practically hear the thoughts running riot through her head. “It’s Nate’s chain. He’s always worn it. As long as I’ve known him.” She talks in a confused, flat tone. “But when we went back to San Francisco, he had a red mark where it used to lie, you know, like it had been torn from his neck.” Her words soften to a whisper, and I know it must be hard for her that everything she once knew, is no more.

  “Sadie,” I say quietly and calmly, trying to reassure her. Placing my hands on her shoulders, I turn her around gently to face me. “I don’t want you to worry about this. I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for—”

  “What do you think he did to the girl?” She looks up at me with solemn, tired eyes.

  “We don’t know he did anything to her…”

  “But you haven’t found her yet?”

  “No.” Sadie’s bottom lip starts to quiver, and it physically hurts me to see her cry. I sigh. “Look, she could have run away. She could have gone back to her filthy-rich parents.” I hold her face in the palms of my hands and kiss her gently on the lips. “I’ll sort it. Okay?”

  She nods, and a tear drops onto her cheek from one of her long, dark lashes. I sweep it away with my thumb before kissing the path it made down her face. “Everything is changing, and nothing I knew before is true,” she whispers sadly.

  “Look at me,” I order gently. “You have me.” I take her hand, and place it over my heart, pressing it gently into my chest. “I love you, Sadie. You were always meant to be mine. I can’t change the past for you, but I can promise you a future, here, with me.” Her eyes widen, and the corners of her lips draw into a wide, honest smile.

  “You love me?” She questions with a frown.

  “Yes.” I nod, giving her a small smile.

  She moves her hand from where it’s placed gently over my heart to cup my face and pull me down to her. “I love you,” she says quietly against my lips. The words touch my heart. They touch the corners she’s awakened and the black parts of my soul that I thought were long dead. And in those passing seconds, I want her more than I ever thought possible.

  “You do?” I ask, almost with disbelief. I’ve heard those words a million times. When you’re a member of an MC, women tell you they love you all the time. There’s something about the cut, the guns, and the danger that makes them think they want your life—that they have what it takes to be a biker’s old lady. But they don’t mean it. They don’t even know how to live it. They don’t know what love is, hell, I didn’t even know what love was until I met Sadie. But she’s knocked me out with it. She’s taken over my soul completely and made it part of hers.

  “Uh huh.” She nods, then lets out a little laugh and drops her gaze.

  I place my index finger under her chin, raising her head and leveling her brown eyes with mine. I sigh wistfully, wondering how I got so lucky. Wondering what I’ve done to deserve her in my life. “I’ll spend my life trying to make you happy,” I tell her, pulling her closer so our hips are pressed against each other.

  “You don’t need to try,” her voice softens. “You’ve made me happier since we met than I have been nearly my whole life.”

  I hate to think of her being so lost, but the selfish part of me loves that I get a piece of her that no one’s ever had before. I love that this is her happy place—that I’m her happy place.

  “Ramsey?” she asks quietly, wetting her ruby red lips with her tongue. “Kiss me, please…”

  If I hadn’t developed some kind of self-control around her, I would have come in my pants on the spot. But when you have a girl like Sadie declare her love—true, honest love, and practically beg for you to kiss her, you’ve got to be able to control yourself. Two-minute wonders are not worthy of Sadie. “Raven…you don’t gotta ask me twice.” I smirk, lowering my lips to hers but withholding until I’ve walked her back so her knees hit the bed, and I lay her gently on her back. I straddle her hips, keeping close and absorbing the breaths that are coming from her chest faster and harder with every passing second.

  “I love you,” I sigh, whispering against her lips, surprising myself at how good it feels to tell her this.

  She pushes up, trying to meet me for contact, but I move away and kiss her neck instead. She groans and drops her head back on the bed, but her groans turn into moans as I kiss and suck her neck, moving down to the curve of her shoulder where I drag my teeth across her sensitive skin.

  “Ramsey,” she says, wiggling her hips and moving impatiently. “I love you,” she pants breathlessly. “But if you make me wait any longer, I’ll take matters into my own hands.”

  “Okay.” I laugh, jumping off her and standing astride her legs. “Take off your top.”

  “Is that a request?” She frowns playfully.

  “No, I don’t do requests, Raven,” I say firmly, flicking open the button on my jeans and lowering the zipper. “It’s an order. Now take off your fucking clothes before I rip them from your body.” I growl deep in my chest as her eyes widen and flare with fiery lust. The look in her eyes makes me want to give her the world, but what’s more, I want to give her my heart, place it in her hands, and trust her with it for our lifetimes.

  I stand with my thumbs tucked into the belt loops of my jeans, with the zipper open, and just a couple of seconds from all of my clothes being discarded altogether. To my amusement, Sadie holds my heated gaze, only breaking it to pull her tank over her head. She reaches back, unclasping her bra and sliding it down her arms before tossing it across the room.

  “Enough?” she asks, painting innocence on that pretty face of hers and pouting her lips that are glistening with wetness from her tongue.

  “No.” I drop down, pressing my hands on either side of her head and taking her mouth fiercely with mine. I sweep the roof of her mouth with my tongue, and she lets her jaw drop open with a gasp as she pushes her head back into the mattress. I kiss her everywhere; her lips, her neck, her collarbone, and with her moans of pleasure filling the room, I take her nipple into my mouth and suck hard, grazing her skin with my teeth as I release her. She grabs my hair, tugging with her fingers, pulling me to her and kissing me fiercely. She bites my bottom lip, and I hiss in a breath as the sharp pain pushes my desire higher. I pull back and run my tongue over my lip, tasting the blood that she’s drawn in her lust. She looks up at me through those big black lashes and bites her lip as she realizes she’s drawn blood. “Are you sorry?” I ask, unzipping her jeans but stopping to wait for an answer.

  “Yes,” she squeaks with a smirk.

  “You’re not sorry one little bit, are you?” I narrow my eyes at her as I slide her jeans over her hips.

  “No.” She blinks slowly. “You enjoyed it.”

 
“And I’m gonna enjoy this…” I yank her jeans from her legs, tossing them aside and slipping mine off too. “White panties?”

  “You don’t like white?” She cocks her head in question.

  “No. I don’t like white at all.” I grab one side in my fist, tearing them off her and making her yelp. There’s an instant red mark where the lace fabric caught her skin, so I lower my head and kiss her hip along the line where they lay. She pushes her hips up into me, arching her back and groaning deep in her chest. “I want in you, Sadie. I can’t take this slow. I can’t wait,” I mutter in apology.

  “Make love to me, Ramsey,” she pants, cupping her breasts with her hands and running her thumbs over her nipples. “But do it hard, and fast, and don’t stop.”

  I hold off for just a beat, wanting to watch her, wanting to savor our lovemaking and treat her like the queen she is. But that’s not us, and it’s not what she asked for. “You got it, Raven. Fast and hard.”

  I bend her legs up, then push them apart so she’s open just for me. She places her hands on the inside of her thighs, keeping her legs open for me as I position myself at her wet entrance.

  “Don’t hold back on me, Ramsey.” She looks deep into my eyes, reassuring me that she can take what I give, that she’s as ready for me as I am for her. No pretense, no secrets. Just us stripped bare down to the soul. “I want all of you. I’m not a fragile little bird. I’m your Raven.”

  Her words drive my body, and I slam into her, unable to hold back any longer. She grips me inside, and it feels like home. She moans as I move and she sounds like a fucking dream come true. “I love you,” I whisper as I kiss the shell of her ear.