CONVICTION (INTERFERENCE)

by Kimberly Schwartzmiller

  “So, are you okay, now?”

  “Yes, I’m okay. I’m sorry.”

  “No, I’m sorry. I ruined your graduation. I don’t blame you for being mad at me. I never should have said we’d go with them.”

  I realized he’d missed the point entirely. I took a deep breath and said, “You didn’t ruin anything. That’s not it.”

  “Then, what was that all about?” he asked, sitting up and pulling away from me.

  “No, please don’t…” I said, pulling him back to me.

  “Rebecca, talk to me.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too. You know that.”

  “I do. I know that. But, sometimes, I need you to show it.”

  He thought about what I said for a minute. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”

  “Yes, you do. You always know what to say. You always say the right things. You always make me feel special and like I’m the only one in the world when we’re together.”

  “Okay, then why were you crying?”

  “Because…”

  “Because?”

  I didn’t know how to tell him without him getting defensive. “You always tell me that you love me…”

  “I do love you.”

  “I know. You tell me all the time…and I love hearing it. But…”

  “But?”

  “But, I need you to do more than just tell me you love me.”

  “Rebecca, we agreed to wait.”

  “No, you agreed to wait. Shane, I’m not asking for…” I turned away from him, and walked to the window.

  “Rebecca, you know I can’t. I won’t ever hurt you like that.”

  “But, when you pull away from me…or get angry when I hug you…you do hurt me.” I sighed. “Shane, do you remember when we were at dinner, and Jillian and Parker were um…they were holding hands and…”

  “They were all over each other!”

  “Yes.”

  “I remember,” he said, looking a little worried now.

  “Stop looking at me like that. That’s not what I’m after.”

  He sighed in relief.

  “But, even though it was awkward to be around them…like that. And, they were much too…affectionate…in public. The thing is, they were more the norm…and we were the odd ones out.”

  “Rebecca what are you saying?”

  “I’m saying I love you and I know you love me and there’s nothing wrong with showing it…sometimes…just a little.”

  “Rebecca, we’ve been over this. You know how I feel…”

  “And now you know how I feel. You’re my boyfriend. I should be able to hug you at my graduation without worrying that you’ll be angry. I want you to hold my hand when we’re walking down the street, put your arm around me at the movies…” I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. “I need you to show me you love me…with more than just words.”

  He thought about it for a few minutes. “I’m sorry. I guess I was so wrapped up in protecting you…I didn’t realize I was hurting you.”

  I reached up to put my arms around him, and true to character, he pulled away. I dropped my arms and turned back toward the window. The tears started again, silent tears trailing down my cheeks.

  “Oh God…I did it again. I’m sorry.”

  He reached out to me, but this time I pulled away.

  “I thought you wanted…”

  “I don’t want you to hold me just because I want you to. I want you to hold me because it’s what you want, too.”

  “You think I don’t want to hold you?” He turned me around and looked into my tear-stained eyes and said, “That couldn’t be further from the truth.”

  “Then why is it so easy for you to pull away from me?”

  “You think it’s easy? Rebecca, you have no idea how much I want…You’re all I think about. You’re all I want.”

  “I want you, too.”

  “You have to understand that I can’t…be with you, until you’re older…and legal. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t want you. I always want you. But, I know some things shouldn’t be rushed.”

  “Okay,” I said, feeling a little bit better.

  “But,” he continued, “you’re right about the fact that’s there’s nothing wrong with showing some affection. I guess I was just so sure I was doing the right thing, that I didn’t stop and see the bigger picture. I just don’t want to get carried away.”

  “So, you’re saying we can…?”

  “I’m willing to compromise. I’ll try to be more affectionate from now on.”

  “Are you just doing this for me?”

  “No, I’m doing it for us. There’s nothing wrong with holding hands or putting my arm around you…once in a while,” he grinned and pulled me toward him.

  “That’s it? That’s all I get?” I said, pulling away.

  “That’s a lot for me, Rebecca. You’re under the impression that it’s easy for me to keep my hands off of you. Believe me, it’s not.”

  “Then, how about a counter offer?”

  He looked at me with suspicious eyes, “I’m listening.”

  “Hand holding, hugging…and…kissing,” I said, afraid to hear his answer.

  He started to argue, but he stopped when he saw the longing look in my eyes. “You um, you strike a hard bargain…” he said, looking at me strangely.

  “Deal…or no deal?” I asked with pleading eyes.

  He didn’t answer me with words. He brushed the hair from my eyes and slowly leaned down and kissed me. I melted into him, praying he wouldn’t stop. When he pulled away, I noticed he was as breathless as I was.

  “My mom was right…” I said, absentmindedly, still lost in my first kiss.

  “About what?” he said, his voice raw.

  “She told me it would be worth the wait. She was right. Kiss me again, please.”

  “That’s going to have to last us…a while. You um, you talked to your mom…about us?”

  “Yeah. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “No. She’s your mom. What did you tell her?”

  “I told her what happened…” I said, looking down.

  “You told her about me? What I did?”

  I nodded, hoping he wasn’t going to be angry or hurt.

  “It’s okay. I was going to tell them the first night I had dinner here, but…”

  “But, I stopped you. My mom understood, but I’m not so sure my dad would… I’m sorry.”

  “When did you talk to her?” he asked, looking worried.

  “I don’t know, three or four days ago, why?”

  He sighed in relief. “I guess I just wanted to know if she hated me now.”

  I touched his cheek and said, “She sees you just like I do…the real you, a wonderful man who wouldn’t hurt anyone.”

  I could see the relief wash over him. “Okay. So, are you feeling better, now?”

  “Yes. But, I’d feel even better if you’d kiss me again,” I asked, pleading with my eyes.

  “We um, we still have to set some ground rules.”

  I sighed, not liking the sound of that.

  He smiled, “I just don’t want to offend your parents, or over-step my bounds.”

  “Shane, if you don’t kiss me right now, then I’m going to be offended…and you really don’t want that,” I grinned up at him.

  He smiled and pulled me close. As our lips met, the rest of the world faded away. He was the only thing that mattered, the only thing I felt, heard or thought about. It must have been the same for him, because by the time we realized we were no longer alone, my father was screaming at us and pulling Shane away from me.

  “Dad!”

  “You need to leave…now!” my father roared at Shane.

  “I’m sorry,” Shane said, looking immediately contrite.

  “No he’s not! Dad, what’s wrong with you?”

  “You know the rules in this house, young lady.”

  “We didn’t break any rules. We’re
in the living room. He’s my boyfriend, I can kiss him if I want!”

  “NOT IN MY HOUSE!”

  “Dad! You’re being ridiculous!”

  “GET OUT!” he yelled at Shane.

  “DAD, STOP IT! We weren’t doing anything wrong!”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Rebecca. Goodnight. I’m sorry, Mr. Brigham, it won’t happen again.”

  “The hell it won’t! I’ve waited over four months for you to kiss me, we’re not going back to the way it was! Dad, you apologize, right now!”

  “Don’t you talk to me like that young lady! This is my house and you’ll respect our rules!”

  “We kissed! He’s always followed your rules. He’s never set one foot up those stairs! He’s never been the least bit inappropriate. We love each other. It was only a kiss!”

  “Rebecca, it’s okay…really,” Shane said, walking to the door.

  “Bradley, calm down,” Charlotte said, touching her husband’s arm to try and cool him down.

  “Not you, too!” he yelled at his wife.

  “They were only kissing, Dad, Geez…” Sam added.

  “Upstairs Samantha… NOW!”

  For once, my sister took my side, well, maybe it was Shane she was protecting, but even she was smart enough to know not to push my father any farther. She shrugged her shoulders and headed upstairs without another word.

  “Shane, Honey, it’s alright. You can see Rebecca tomorrow, okay?” my mother said, knowing it was probably a good idea if Shane did leave…for his own sake.

  Shane nodded and said, “Okay. Again…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any disrespect.”

  I rolled my eyes and followed him to the door, completely ignoring the look of warning I saw on my father’s face.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, certain that I’d never feel those lips on mine again.

  “No, I shouldn’t have…”

  “Yes, you should have. Shane…please don’t let him get to you. It’s okay.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” I wanted him to kiss me goodbye, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen, so I had to settle for a brief touch of his hand.

  I turned back toward my father, and I knew I’d never been as angry at him as I was at that moment. “How could you do that!?”

  “I think the better question is, how could you do that?”

  “I kissed my boyfriend! It’s not illegal!”

  “In my house…it is illegal. Until you turn 18…”

  “OH, don’t you DARE say it! We kissed! We didn’t have sex on the dining room table!”

  “You’re grounded for a week! Go to your room, and stay there!”

  “You can’t ground me for kissing my boyfriend! I love him!”

  “I can, and I will! What else have you two done behind our backs?” he asked, and then changed his mind, “Never mind, I don’t really want to know!”

  “No, you don’t want to listen! Shane is a great guy! He’s kind and decent and he loves me. He’s never even kissed me before tonight…and when he finally did…you ruined it!”

  “You expect me to believe that he hasn’t kissed you before now? How stupid do you think I am? Go to your room! And, you can add another week for lying!”

  “Bradley, stop this! NOW!” Charlotte said, “Rebecca, Honey, go on up to bed. I’ll talk to you in the morning, okay?”

  If my mother hadn’t been there, I probably would have said some things I might have regretted, but I knew my mom was my only link to any possible chance of my parole, so I did what she said and headed upstairs.

  Unfortunately, I stopped midway and said, “You know what, Dad, if we wanted to have sex, we could, and you couldn’t stop us. But, Shane won’t even consider touching me until I’m 18. And, thanks to you, now he probably won’t kiss me again until I’m 18. I love him, and no matter what you say, I’m going to see him…with or without your permission. You choose!”

  “Don’t you dare threaten me! As long as you live in my house…”

  “We followed the rules. You said he couldn’t go upstairs. He’s never been upstairs…not once. He’s never done anything the least bit inappropriate. And, for your information, I asked him to kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me! And, you can ground me for a month…two months, a year, but it won’t change how I feel about him.” I glared at him and said, “I’m going to see him, whether you approve…or not! Goodnight!”

  I saw my mother close her eyes, knowing I had just buried myself…deep. But, I was so angry, I couldn’t stop myself. I had been trying to get Shane to show me some physical affection for almost five months, and my father managed to ruin it in one evening. I was livid. I threw back the blankets on my bed and buried my face in my pillow; sobbing, certain Shane would never kiss me again.

  I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I sat up and wiped my eyes. It was Shane. “Hi, I’m so sorry!” I said, trying to hide my tears.

  “No, I’m sorry. I hope you’re not in too much trouble.”

  “I think my mom would have been able to smooth things over…before…”

  “Before, what?”

  “Before I told my dad that he couldn’t stop us from kissing…”

  “And?” he said, knowing I hadn’t stopped there.

  “And…that if we wanted to…do more, he couldn’t stop that, either.”

  “Rebecca, why would you say that?”

  “He made me mad! You finally kissed me…and he ruined it.”

  “No, he didn’t. How did he ruin it? He may have stopped us a few seconds early, but he certainly didn’t ruin it for me.”

  I thought about it for a minute and said, “You’re right, he didn’t ruin it. It was wonderful.”

  “Yeah, it was. I’m looking forward to a repeat performance the next time we’re alone…really alone,” he laughed.

  “Really? You mean my dad didn’t scare you off? You’ll kiss me again?”

  “I um, I don’t think I could go back to the way it was before, either. One taste…and I’m hooked.”

  I was glad he couldn’t see the tears rolling down my cheeks, again. “Me too. I love you.”

  “I love you, too. Get some sleep.”

  I hesitated and he said, “Rebecca, I meant what I said, I love you and I’m not so afraid to show it now. We’ll just have to be sure we’re really alone. I don’t want another scene like tonight. I do want to respect your father’s wishes, but you’re right, there’s nothing wrong with what we did.”

  We hung up a few minutes later and I felt so much better. I dozed off a lot sooner than I thought I would. I woke up early and bounded down the stairs, expecting to find my mother in the kitchen, but ran into my father, instead.

  It was awkward, to say the least, but I was much calmer by then, so I managed a quick, “Good morning.”

  “You won’t think so after our chat.”

  “Dad, I’m sorry I yelled at you. But, you were really rotten to Shane. He didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “The fact still remains; you’re grounded for two weeks. End of story. Oh, and just so we’re clear on this: If I wanted to keep you from him, I most certainly could. You will not see him for two weeks…is that clear?”

  “NO! You’re being completely unfair. All we did was kiss!”

  “And you lied to me. That’s almost worse than what we caught you doing. You should have just admitted the truth!”

  “What lie? I didn’t lie to you!”

  “You stood in my living room and told me that you two hadn’t kissed before last night.”

  “That wasn’t a lie! He’s never touched me!”

  “Rebecca, Enough! No more lies.”

  “Why is that so hard to believe?”

  “Because, I was young once, too. And, there’s no way I’d date a girl for over four months and not kiss her…Hell, I’d have done…” he stopped when he remembered he was talking to his daughter.

  “Well, he hasn’t! He told you the truth that first night he
was here. He hasn’t touched me and he has no intention of it…until I’m 18. That’s certainly a lot more than I can say for Parker!”

  “I wouldn’t have minded if it had been Parker…”

  “What? You can’t be serious. Parker tried to force himself on me…Shane would never do that! How could you even suggest that? I love Shane, Dad! I’ll never love Parker. I told you, he makes my skin crawl!”

  “Well, be that as it may, you’re grounded…two weeks…no Shane. You may call him this morning and tell him that you’re grounded and won’t be seeing or talking to him for two weeks, and then I want your phone.”

  “I told you, you can’t keep me away from him. I love him, and you can’t stop or change that. For the last time, we didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “He apologized for it, so he obviously knew it was wrong. He’s a grown man, and although I find it admirable that he is responsible in caring for his father, maintaining a job and saving for college, the fact remains, he’s of legal age…and you’re not. I told him when you started dating, he had one chance…I’ll give him another considering this is his first screw up…that I know of, but that’s it! And, for the record, if I wanted to keep you apart, make no mistake, Rebecca Marie…I could. The next two weeks will prove that, as well!”

  I was crying then. Not because I was worried about losing Shane, but because my father was being completely irrational and I didn’t think my mother could fix it this time. “Where’s mom?” I asked, through the tears.

  “She’s sleeping. But, I’ve made up my mind, and she’s not going to change it…not this time. If you even suggest to her that she talk to me about this, I’ll make it three weeks.”

  I stood up and headed upstairs, crying as I made my way up to my prison for the next two weeks. Undeserved punishment! That’s what it was. I was being punished for being caught in an embrace and kiss from my boyfriend of almost five months. “Life can be so unfair!” Little did I know how true my words would become…

  Distance Does Make the Heart Grow Fonder!