CONVICTION (INTERFERENCE)

by Kimberly Schwartzmiller

  He kissed me hard and finally the last bit of clothing was discarded and he was touching me and pleasing me in ways I didn’t know were possible. He took his time and just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, he’d slow down, willing me back to reality, carrying me to the threshold…but not over, time and time again. I was desperate for him and it was as if he just knew it was the right time. He leaned over me, being careful to not press his full weight onto me, and looked in my eyes. He was out of breath, and as far gone as I was, but he looked down at me and said, “Are you ready?”

  I nodded and reached up for him. “Yes!” I almost shouted.

  “I love you, Rebecca.”

  “I love you too. Please…please Shane…I…need…you,” I pleaded, pulling him down to me for a kiss.

  He kissed me, “Open your eyes, Love.”

  I was desperate for him to end this torture. I was arching up to him, needing him. But, even amid the passion and longing, I heard what he said and I looked up at him, my eyes pleading. “Shane…” I said breathlessly, “Please!”

  Our eyes held as he slowly lowered himself closer to me and then finally, and very slowly, he carefully pushed into me, stopping the second he had crossed my barrier and waited.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, breathless.

  There were tears rolling down the side of my face and he started to pull away, thinking he’d hurt me. I pulled him back, “I just love you so much. I don’t want it to end…”

  He smiled down at me and said, “This is the only the beginning…” and we made love.

  I really didn’t know what to expect, and even though he wasn’t a virgin, he wasn’t that much more experienced than I was, but after a few seconds, it was like we just fit…we anticipated each other’s needs and desires and it wasn’t long before I was writhing on the bed, pulling him closer, arching up to meet him in perfect unison and finally, I was taken to a place I’d never been before. I was completely engrossed in the wonders surrounding me and when it was over, I looked up at him to ask him if he’d felt it too. “You’re so beautiful. I love you so much!” And then he was moving in me again, and it was my turn to watch him and as he reached the peaks I had just returned from.

  When he was done, he started to immediately pull away, but I pulled him back, not ready to let him go. “No, please don’t. Stay with me.”

  “I’m just going to lie next to you.”

  “No, stay right here. I want you here…inside me.” I reached my arms around his neck and pulled him down to me. “I don’t want this to ever end.”

  “It won’t.” He laid there for a few minutes, and finally said, “Honey, my arms are like jelly after…I can’t hold myself up much longer. We’ll do it again…believe me, we’ll do it as often as you want.”

  “Then there’s no reason to ever leave this bed,” I grinned, finally letting him go. He pulled me into his arms and we laid there in the afterglow, not speaking, both lost in our very recent memories.

  “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he finally asked.

  I looked up at him and said, “No, it was perfect. I felt no pain, just…love.” As I gazed into those eyes, I said, “Love me again.”

  There was no hesitation this time and it wasn’t long before we were completely lost in each other.

  I spent the night in his arms, wishing every night could be like that.

  I woke up early and sat up and stared down at Shane. He was sound asleep, lying on his back and before I could stop myself, I slowly pulled the blankets off of him and openly stared at his naked form. He was perfection from head to toe; strong chest with just a hint of curly golden hair. Trim waist, firm abs and that perfect ‘V’ leading down to…what I assumed was normal morning arousal. I took a deep breath, wanting him again…but I didn’t want to wake him. I continued down his strong thighs, all the way down to his toes. When I pulled the blankets back up, I looked up at his beautiful face and realized, much to my embarrassment that while I had been studying every fabulous inch of him, he was watching me. I blushed.

  He laughed and pulled me back into him. “I love that shade of pink on your cheeks,” he glanced down and said, “…and everywhere else,” he laughed as he watched the pink spread, simply from his comment.

  We made love once again and after we were both sated and resting in each other’s arms, I said, “I wish every night could be like last night…and every morning like this.”

  “Me too. Someday it will be. We just have to get through school.”

  I thought back to something he told my father. Something I’d been afraid to ask him about, but felt now was the time. “Shane…?”

  “Hmm?” he said, sighing and pulling me close.

  “Do you remember the other night, when you stood up for me…to my father?”

  “Mmm, yeah.” His eyes were closed and he was obviously close to falling asleep. But I needed to talk.

  “Shane!” I said and reached down and cupped my hands around him, needing his full attention. It was only a split second before I had it, which made me laugh at the reaction I was able to cause in him.

  “What?” he sat up, wide awake now.

  “Do you remember what you said?”

  “What?” he asked.

  “That night…to my father. Do you remember what you said?”

  He was breathing hard and said, “It’s um, it’s hard to focus on anything with your hand…there…doing that,” he moaned.

  I pulled my hand away which only made him moan for another reason. But, I now had his undivided attention. “Do you?” I asked, serious now.

  “I said a lot of things that night, Rebecca. I meant every word.”

  I took a deep breath and said, “Every word?”

  He looked at me and said, “Yeah. What’s this about?”

  “You um, you told him you’d wait…until we were…married, if you had to.”

  “Yeah. So?”

  “So then, you’ve thought about that…marriage, I mean?”

  He took a deep breath and said, “I guess so. I mean, I know I love you and I assumed that someday…”

  “Why do we have to wait for someday? We love each other. I don’t want to wait to spend more nights like last night. I want every night to be like last night.”

  “Rebecca…”

  “Shane, marry me…please!”

  “Um, isn’t it traditionally the man’s job to propose?”

  “I don’t care. I love you. I don’t want to wait until someday.”

  “Well, we’re going to have to wait until you’re at least 18. There’s no way you’re parents’ are going to allow….”

  “Then we’ll wait until I’m 18. That’s only seven months from now.”

  “Rebecca, there’s plenty of time to think about that. You have school.”

  “So do you. So what? A lot of couples go to school together.”

  “We have to be able to support ourselves. I can’t support both of us…and my father, until I have a better job. It’s going to be at least another four years before I finish school. You’ll only be 22 by then. We can get married then.”

  “No deal.”

  “Rebecca, be reasonable!”

  I stood up and wrapped the top blanket around me. “So, you didn’t mean it? You really don’t want to marry me?” I asked, tears brimming in my eyes.

  “Of course I meant it. But, there’s no rush. We have our whole lives in front of us.”

  “I don’t want to wait, Shane. I have money, and now that my grandmother…well, now I’ll have a lot more money. We’ll be fine. We won’t have to work. We can just go to school during the day.” I looked down at the bed and said, “And spend every night…like last night.”

  He stood up then, completely naked and unashamed. “I love you, Rebecca. More than anything. But, I can’t live like that. I won’t feel right living off your money.”

  “It’ll be our money.”

  “No, it won’t.” He walked over to me and lifted my chin to look at
him. “It may sound old fashioned, but I need to support you, or at least provide some income…half, if not all.”

  “Then keep your job and we’ll continue going to night school. We can get a small apartment and share the bills.” I took a deep breath and said, “Marry me, Shane. I’m going to love you for the rest of my life. Please, marry me.”

  He sighed, lost in thought. “Rebecca, please understand…”

  I sat down on the bed, knowing he was rejecting me. I dropped my head into my hands and the blanket slipped down to my waist.

  He sat down next to me and rubbed my back. “Rebecca, I do want to marry you, believe me. You um, you just always seem to beat me to the punch.”

  I looked up at him, not sure what to say.

  He sighed, “I was planning on asking you…on your 18 birthday. I um, I’ve been saving…for a ring,” he said and reached into his nightstand. “This ring,” he said, opening up the well-worn, dog-eared page in a jewelry catalog, and pointing to a beautiful white gold solitaire with a matching engagement ring that looped around the diamond, covered in sapphires. “The um, the sapphires…match your eyes.”

  I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. “You mean it?”

  He smiled, “There’s no one on earth I’d rather spend the rest of my life with. I love you, and that will never change! You just didn’t give me the chance to ask. But, I still assumed we’d have a long engagement.”

  I reached out and hugged him and pulled him back to bed and then showed him exactly how much I loved him.

  “So, um, when are we going to tell my parents?” I asked him a few days before they were to return home.

  “I think we should wait…a while.”

  “Why did I know you were going to say that?” I smiled, and shook my head at him.

  “Well, your mother did say waiting was best,” he grinned.

  “Yeah, well, she was right about that,” I laughed and pulled him toward me. We’d spent every night in his bed since the first night and I was so happy. I knew it would be very difficult now that my parents were returning. We had one last night and I wanted to spend every moment making love…he had other ideas, however. He took me out to dinner and then for a walk along Balboa pier. It was romantic and as wonderful a time as I was having, I still had something else on my mind.

  “Shane, let’s go. We only have tonight left…”

  He turned toward me at the end of the pier and said, “No, we have the rest of our lives. I love you, Rebecca. I um, I know you already asked me, but I um, I kind of wanted to…” he was nervous, which was unlike him.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  I watched him as he nervously got down on one knee and pulled a box out of his pocket.

  “Shane?”

  “I love you, Rebecca; with all my heart. I know I didn’t say the right things when you asked me to marry you, but I’m hoping you’ll say the right thing now. I want to spend the rest of my life with you…forever. Would you please, marry me?”

  I dropped down on my knees and hugged him so tight. “You know I will! I love you, too!” I squeezed him so hard I don’t think he could really take a full breath. I kissed him and I heard applause and shouts of joy from the balcony of the restaurant at the end of the pier.

  He helped me up and opened the box. “It’s only the engagement ring…for now. But don’t worry, by the time we say ‘I do’ I’ll have the wedding ring paid for.”

  He slipped the sapphire ring onto my shaking hand and then kissed me again. “I love you, Rebecca. I love you so much!”

  “Take me home…please?” I said, pulling him down for another kiss. “I love you, too. Take me home so I can show you how much!” I said with tears in my eyes.

  My Father’s Blessing

  We picked up my parents the next afternoon after spending the night and well into the early afternoon in bed. I had never felt so over-joyed and content at the same time. I didn’t know how I was going to be able to sleep in my own bed…alone, ever again. I was so happy with him that I hated the thought of giving up our time together. But, I knew I didn’t have much choice.

  “Hi, honey. I’m so glad to be home,” my mom said.

  “It was a hell of a trip. Glad it’s over,” my father said, hugging both my sister and me, and then shook hands with Shane.

  We all chatted about the service on the way home. I had done my best to hide my ring, hoping for the right moment to tell my parents the wonderful news, however, my sister, angry at having been kept apart from her ‘boyfriend’ against her will, felt the need to make the announcement for us, “So, what’s up with the ring, Sis?”

  She was sitting next to me in the back seat. I didn’t say anything at first, and I was relieved to find that my parents hadn’t heard her, as they were lost in their own conversation.

  I looked at my sister with pleading eyes. “Sam, please…let me do this…in my own time, okay?” I whispered.

  “Whatever!” she said, obviously irritated that I was spoiling her fun. She glanced down at my hand and decided she really couldn’t wait and started in again, “Mom, Dad, did you…”

  Shane reached out and grabbed her hand. “Sam, please,” Shane whispered, which shut my sister up once and for all. She’d had the biggest crush on him since her play and when she looked up into those endless steel gray eyes, she melted and nodded.

  “What Honey?” my mom asked.

  “Oh, um, did you bring us anything from Chicago?”

  “Hmm, well I think you might find something in our suitcase for you.” She turned around and smiled at us. Her smile immediately faded when she glanced down at my left hand and then up to my eyes. “Rebecca?”

  I looked her in the eyes, and smiled. I nodded and grabbed Shane’s hand. She looked over at Shane and then back down at my hand. I don’t know if it was shock, anger or surprise, but she managed to hold her tongue…for now, at least.

  “What’s so interesting back there?” my father asked, craning his neck when he stopped at a light.

  I hid my hand under my leg when he glanced back, not wanting to get into it in the car.

  “Nothing, I’m just happy to see my girls,” my mom said, and then sighed and sat forward in her seat again. I knew it was going to be a fight. But, I needed my mom on my side, and I knew what she was thinking…I was rushing it.

  The truth was, I had never been more certain of anything in my life than I was of my love for Shane. And, I knew that, truth be told, most teen-agers thought that about their first loves, but with Shane, I knew without a doubt I couldn’t have loved him more and I knew I would never let him go.

  We set the table for dinner, and I found myself all thumbs. I was a nervous wreck and I couldn’t stop dropping this or that, or tripping over my own feet. Finally, when my mother could no longer stand it, she quietly grabbed my arm and led me upstairs to my room. We sat down on the bed that I hadn’t slept on in almost a week.

  She reached down and grabbed my hand, turning it this way and that to study my ring. She was quiet for a while and finally said, “I’m assuming that there’s another ring that fits into that loop of sapphires?”

  I nodded. “He’s um, he’s going to have it by the time we…”

  “Honey, I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to ruin this moment for you, but,” she stood up and paced my room. She closed my door and said, “I know you love him, but you’re only 17. Rebecca, he’s your first love.”

  I stood up and faced her. I looked her right in the eye and said, “No, Mom, he’s my only love. And he always will be.”

  I must have hit a chord in her or something, because suddenly she was holding on to me for dear life. “Are you sure? Honey, this is a huge decision.”

  I pulled back and said, “Mom, I’m so sure, so positive, that I asked him. I knew he’d make me wait…like he has for everything else. I don’t want to spend a moment of my life without him. I know I’m only 17, but I can tell you with absolute certainty, I will never love another man like I
love him. No one will ever make me feel the way he does. Please be happy for me, for us,” I pleaded, with tears in my eyes.

  My mood was infectious and suddenly she was crying and laughing along with me. “Well, I have to say I’m not all that surprised. I am surprised that you asked him, though.”

  “Well, he didn’t say yes. I um, I kind of ruined his plans. But, he managed to ask me anyway, a few days later. It was so romantic. He took me out to dinner and then for a walk on Balboa pier. He’s so old fashioned. He did the whole ‘down on one knee’ proposal. I melted. There were cheers from the diners on the balcony with people yelling ‘tell him yes,” which of course, I did. It was perfect, Mom. I love him. Please be happy for me.”

  She hugged me tight. “I am happy for you. I just wanted to make sure you’re doing this for the right reason. From the look in your eyes, I can see that you are. Congratulations Honey! I love Shane, you know that, right? I couldn’t ask for a better man for my daughter.”

  I was so happy that she was accepting of Shane, and we sat there hugging each other tightly. We must have been in there for a while, because suddenly my door opened and my dad was standing there. “What’s going on in here? Is something wrong?” he asked, always suspicious.

  My mom pulled back and dried her eyes. “No, nothing’s wrong. We were just talking about Mom,” my mom said, covering for me.

  We headed down to dinner and I held Shane’s hand under the table for support as I passed the mashed potatoes, waiting for the right moment to tell my father the news.

  My mother looked at me, waiting for me to say something, and when I didn’t take the bait, she sighed and said, “Bradley, your daughter has something to tell you.”

  She did it again. I was foolish enough to believe, once again, that she was going to help me tell him, but just like the night of the play, she was making me face up to it on my own. Except, this time, I wasn’t on my own. I had Shane with me, and I looked over at him and he gave me the courage to tell him, “Um, Daddy…”