Toxic

by Eve Langlais

  He’s fighting… for me.

  I would have loved to have basked in the warmth of knowing how much his actions proved he cared. But almost immortal or not, I’d lost a lot of blood, and darkness grabbed me and snuffed my consciousness.

  Chapter Eleven

  I woke to burning pain, the kind that made me want to weep and cry like a human. Damned daemon claws. Breathtaking agony or not, though, I needed to get up and find out what had happened-is Rafe okay?

  I winced as I sat up, only realizing belatedly I wasn’t alone. For a moment, fear gripped me as I wondered if I’d ended up the captive of the daemons. Then a familiar musk surrounded me as strong arms helped me sit up, and that answered one question at least. Rafe’s alive.

  Relief flooded through me at the knowledge, and my heart raced as I tried to find words, some way of adequately expressing what his coming to my rescue meant to me. All I came up with was, “Thank you.” Lame, but how could I express how much I appreciated what Rafe had sacrificed? He’d forsaken his kind to rescue me. He’d possibly lost his place in Heaven to protect me. He’d given everything… for me. I was both humbled and overjoyed-and the teensiest bit terrified that he would regret his choice.

  He propped me against some pillows, and then his hands slipped away as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Concern shone in his blue eyes and his lips curved into a bittersweet smile. “Don’t thank me for doing what I had to. Heavenly law or not, I couldn’t stand by and watch you die.” Okay, not exactly a declaration of undying love, but I’d lived long enough to read between the unsaid lines.

  I wanted to say so much to him-Thanks for coming to my rescue. Thanks for forsaking your kind. Thank you for caring-but expressing my emotions had never come easily to me. The truth-I love you-stuck in my throat. All I managed to say with dropped eyes was, “How did you find me?”

  “I told him where you were hiding.” My queen-the consummate meddler-swept into the bed chamber. Taking in my surroundings-stone walls, rich brocade tapestries and high ceilings-I realized I must have lain unconscious for quite some time because they’d brought me back to the castle in the Rockies. I remembered nothing of the trip, a disturbing realization which brought home just how vulnerable the attack had left me.

  “My people?” I already knew the answer, my link to them a gaping spot in my mind. Lily’s sad shake of her head confirmed the worst.

  I closed my eyes in order to compose myself. To my shame, I couldn’t prevent the tears that leaked from my closed lids as the faces of those who’d died in my service ran through my head like a macabre video. From human thralls to vampire progeny, almost thirty lives snuffed because I’d failed them all. My mental anguish hurt worse than my wounds. Never again would Annabelle tease then feed me. Never again would any of them fill my psyche with their comforting presence and loyalty. Sorrow enveloped me and wracked me with sobs, an overwhelming emotional overload like I hadn’t experienced since my turning.

  Rafe stroked the back of my hand as I trembled, especially when I realized how easily he could have died, too. In coming to my rescue, he’d placed himself in danger. It chilled me to know a handful more daemons and he could have been lost, too. I was doing him no favors by making him choose me over the safety of Heaven. On the contrary, my selfish desires were putting him in harm’s way. Not for long.

  “Go,” I whispered. “Go back to Heaven. You shouldn’t be here.”

  “No.”

  “Please,” I pled, my voice cracking.

  “Leave us while I tend her wounds,” Lily said in a commanding tone.

  “But-”

  Rafe shut up and even though I didn’t hear Lily speak, I could imagine her face. She could convey a lot with a single look. Rafe didn’t stand a chance. The door to my room thudded shut and I sagged. My shoulders shook and the tears poured in hot rivulets as I broke even further, the humanity I’d locked away pushing forth and claiming me in its emotional grip.

  “Shh.” Lily wrapped herself around me, rocking me like a child, offering me comfort which I, in my weakness, soaked up.

  I cried my heart out, shedding tears for those I’d lost, for the one I needed to push away. Lily held me as I poured out all my pent up frustration and sorrow.

  However, grief couldn’t clutch me forever. I’d seen and done too much in my life to succumb to it for more than a moment. In short order, I dried my tears and snorted in a very unladylike manner into the kerchief Lily handed me.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled, ashamed of my display, and in front of my queen no less.

  “Sorry for what?” Lily asked as she pulled my bandages away to check on my healing progress. “There is no shame in showing grief for the passing of those we care about.”

  I said nothing in reply as Lily tended my wounds. Admitting I cared aloud still felt too much like weakness. I concentrated on other things, less human concerns, like the damage done to my body. The daemons’ claws had left their mark, and the poison they’d injected with their slashing touch infected my usually resistant body. Dirty creatures. I found the pain of my injuries helped me regain my focus even if emotionally I felt like a tautly wound wire that would snap at the slightest pressure.

  Lily laid her hands on one of my seeping, foul smelling wounds. Then she used magic, a healing magic that none of our kind except she enjoyed.

  I sucked in my breath at the burning agony as she bled the toxins from me, my third and final session as she informed me. With each jolt of gut wrenching pain, the wound in question began to heal, so I bore it with gritted teeth-although, a part of me kind of wished I’d remained passed out for this part. What could I say, I preferred dishing out pain as opposed to receiving it.

  To distract myself, I recounted my shameful blindside and the battle I’d almost lost-a first for me. The carnage of my people she’d seen firsthand and a fragile part of me thanked the fact I didn’t need to go into detail about their demise.

  Clarity returned to me as the discomfort of my injuries lessened and a disturbing fact sprang free to the forefront of my mind. The daemons, with their attack, and even worse, recognition of me, had clearly shown they had access to information thought secret, such as locations of lairs.

  “They knew who I was and where to find me,” I announced grimly to my queen.

  “I know,” she replied softly. “And you’re not the only one.”

  Anger burned alongside shame as Lily informed me my castle was only one among several others invaded. However, I was the only one who’d escaped alive. Elsewhere, the results ended up fatal and bloody with vampires slain along with their human slaves. Daemon coordinated attacks that made me realize, as Lily washed my now mostly healed skin, that we’d fooled ourselves into thinking the daemons were unaware of us and our plans to halt them.

  Realization hit me like a ton of bricks followed by a piano and an anvil. The previous attacks on the humans had only been feints. A testing, so to speak, of our defenses. Having learned what they needed, the daemons had banded together to take out what they perceived as their greatest threats before the arrival of the main army. My kind, the only ones to really understand and recognize the danger they posed.

  I shared my revelation with Lily, who nodded her head. “They fooled us into thinking they were little more than brutal beasts. We shan’t make that mistake again.”

  “You mean whoever takes my place. I’ve failed you and my brethren. It is only right I step down and let another take my place.” Altruistic of me? Not really. I’d flunked my test as protector and honestly believed I didn’t deserve my position.

  “I refuse your resignation.”

  “But, because of my short sightedness, dozens died.”

  Lily’s eyes blazed darkly as she retorted. “And because of your vision, you’re the only reason we might even stand a chance when they come. If you’ve failed, then so have I for not listening to you when you warned we needed to prepare. Like others, I kept hoping and praying the approaching doom still lay far into the futur
e.”

  “And it still might.”

  “Don’t placate me,” Lily snapped. “If there’s any fault, then it’s mine for not acting sooner. But unlike you, I’m not ready to give up.”

  I snarled at her implication. “I haven’t given up. Nor am I scared.”

  “Then stop the caterwauling and instead start thinking of how we can prevent this happening again.”

  “We can’t prevent attacks if our information network has been compromised. The only defense I can see working is if we can form groups large enough to repel any attacking forces.” Already, plans formed in my mind of calling my brethren back home-manning, or should I say vamping the ramparts so to speak. Only in large numbers could we hope to repel with fewer casualty any future attacks like the one I’d barely survived.

  “I’ll put the call out that it’s time to come home then,” Lily said, closing her eyes and communicating with her thralls.

  “You do realize if our information network is compromised, it’s just a matter of time before the daemons appear here?”

  “Good, because I’d say we have a score to settle, don’t you?” Lily’s innocent beauty transformed for a moment into that of the predator she was at heart.

  I could only grin in reply, my cockiness reasserting itself. “We won’t be caught unaware again, I promise.” And I meant it. I would not fail my people again. My funk dispelled, I had to ask the question burning on the tip of my tongue. “Why did you tell Rafe where to find me?”

  Lily shrugged and smiled. “He looked so miserable when you left. Moping about and what not. I had to do something. I truly think the man is in love with you.”

  “He’s not a man. He’s an angel,” I mumbled even as my heart beat faster at her words.

  “Whatever. You both have the hots for each other. So why fight it?”

  “Because.” Did I need to write her a list?

  “Are you still worried you might kill him like we do the humans?” she asked, cocking her head at me.

  “Considering sex with us is toxic to most beings, wouldn’t you be?” I replied sarcastically.

  “And if I told you angels are immune?” Lily’s sly smile rang bells in my mind.

  I frowned at her. “And just how would you know that fact when even he doesn’t?”

  Lily’s casual shrug didn’t fool me for one moment. She had access to more knowledge, at least where angels were concerned, than she was letting on. But I found it hard to task her given she’d just paved the way for me to be with Rafe. Suddenly, I didn’t find myself so tired or despondent anymore. And I was anxious to see Rafe.

  Naked.

  Of course, I still hadn’t changed my mind about sending him away, back to Heaven where he’d be safe. But before I threw him out of my life, I couldn’t deny myself one selfish taste of his lust-and if my hope was right, his love.

  Chapter Twelve

  Lily left me with my thoughts and my body mostly healed, the red lines scoring my body, a faint reminder that would disappear in a day or so. My mind tumbled in disarray over the news she’d imparted, the fact Rafe could handle my touch. I ordered up several of my thralls, finding myself really hungry after my ordeal, and as I sucked on their necks one after another, I tried not to think of Rafe. Easier said than done. With the green light from Lily, my excuse of being toxic no longer acted as a barrier to us being together.

  I loved him. I couldn’t deny that fact any longer. He made me feel things I’d never imagined, and not just physically. Had I suffered only from lust, I think I would have handled the Rafe situation with ease, but having my heart involved complicated things. Like, did he love me, too? Doubt, another aspect to my mushy feelings that I didn’t enjoy at all. And unlike other things I didn’t like, I couldn’t just kill this problem or tear its head off.

  I finished eating without coming to a decision, but at least I felt a lot more like my usual strong self. I thought long and hard while I showered the grime from my body.

  To do or not do Rafe? A crude question, but one of importance, at least to me. My selfish half said “Hell yeah!” However, my newly discovered softer side asked if it was fair to use him and then discard him. Even worse, both sides of my psyche wondered if having a taste of him and the pleasures I’d find in his arms would make removing him from my life even more painful.

  Self-indulgence won. I couldn’t, make that wouldn’t, deny myself a last chance at happiness. A fantasy moment that I would treasure and use as inspiration in the upcoming battle with the daemons.

  Decided, I toweled off and walked out into the bedroom, nude.

  I stopped dead at the sight of Rafe lounging on my bed. A modest woman would have covered her bare parts. Thankfully, I lacked that kind of stupidity. I stood tall and proud, my nipples tightening at the glowing interest in his eyes.

  “Come here,” he ordered.

  I put a hand on my hip and cocked it. “Whatever for?” I asked with a playful smile.

  “Your queen told me there’s no danger. We can be together. So no more excuses.”

  Lily meddling again, but I didn’t mind in this case, not when it meant I could finally have what I wanted most-Rafe.

  “What happened to my shy and geeky doctor?” I asked.

  “A façade.”

  “That must have been hard.”

  “Not as hard as my cock.”

  His crude words made me flush. Talk about switching extremes. “You know, you’re pretty bossy for an angel.”

  He just smiled and beckoned me closer.

  I approached him slowly, undulating my hips for his appreciative, hungry gaze. I stopped at the foot of the bed. “Aren’t you afraid I’m still too weak from my ordeal?”

  Rafe snorted. “You? I doubt it.”

  I grinned. I had to give him credit, he understood me all too well. “So who gets to be on top?”

  Apparently he did, for in one fluid movement with a speed to match-perhaps even surpass my own-I found myself under him, and lucky me, he was very happy to be on top.

  His heavier body fit perfectly over mine, the hardness of his prick nudging the apex of my thighs. Only one thing marred this perfect moment.

  “Why aren’t you naked?” I complained.

  Rafe rolled off me and stood beside the bed. The bastard teased me, stripping his shirt off slowly to reveal sculpted abs. He unbuttoned the fly of his jeans, and I licked my lips, eyes trained on the prize I’d won. He pushed down his jeans and his black briefs to reveal the cock I’d ride in a moment. Long, thick and bobbing eagerly, he didn’t disappoint, on the contrary, my excitement went up a notch.

  I crooked my finger at him and, with a grin, he covered my body again with his, and I just about swooned in delight. Skin to skin, the effect blew my mind. I tingled all over and impatient, I clasped him to me tightly, my arms wrapping around his neck to pull his lips down to mine for a scorching kiss. My thighs I let fall open, welcoming his body between them. The nudge of his shaft head against my wet slit made me moan against his mouth.

  The desire he’d incited in me since day one raged out of control. I wanted him so badly. Needed him…now.

  “Fuck me,” I panted, unable to wiggle my hips forward enough to sheath him.

  He tore his lips from mine and gazed down at me with those glowing blue eyes of his and his lips quirked. “So soon. I wanted to explore you first. Taste you. Stroke you. Lick-”

  I pulled on my power and rolled us so that he lay on the bottom with me straddling him. Just as quickly I seated myself in one fluid motion. I sighed in pleasure even as his hands grabbed me about the waist, his fingers digging into me as his cock twitched inside the warmth of my pussy.

  “That’s better,” I purred with a wiggle.

  He sucked in a breath and his grip tightened. I splayed my hands on his chest, and leaned forward slightly. I meant to take control, but Rafe fooled me yet again. Under me, pinned by my body, he should have been helpless, a victim of my lust. But instead of lying there and letting me se
t the pace, he took over. Caught by his hands on my waist, I could only cry out as he slid me back and forth against him, the sensual friction against my clit making my channel tighten.

  “Kiss me,” he demanded, and for him and him alone, I obeyed, leaning down to taste his lips. Lost in his embrace, he used my lack of attention to flip us over again, the joining of our bodies not interrupted. On the contrary, my back no sooner hit the mattress than he pushed into me even deeper, setting a fast and hard cadence with his thrusts.

  I held on tight for the ride, too distracted to protest his domination of our bed play, too lost in the bliss of his steady pounding to fight for control. I wrapped my legs around his waist, my mewling cries the only encouragement I could utter.

  He didn’t need my words, though. Through passion glazed eyes, I observed him-his intense eyes staring down at me, the muscles of his neck corded in strain, the sheen of sweat that glazed his perfect torso held above mine on forearms corded with strength.

  The pleasure in me kept building, a coiling intensity that sat on the cusp of my orgasm. It felt so good I almost wanted to stay at that peak forever. He slowed his pace for a moment, long enough to grab my legs and push them towards my head, exposing and spreading me wide for his thrusts. In that new position, he drove into me even deeper, his pumps a steady barrage of strikes against a sensitive spot inside I’d never even known I had. I went over the edge with a scream.

  I bucked and cried out as I shuddered under the waves of my orgasm, the muscles of my sex clamping tightly around him. I felt him tense up, his body giving one final thrust before stilling, and exploding inside me.

  I panted, as the rapture calmed and sanity began to return. I wanted to speak, but words became lost as Rafe, still inside me, began moving again.

  My body, too sensitized, squirmed.

  “Enough,” I gasped. “I can’t take any more.”