by London Casey
“Your brother?” Miller asked.
Shay nodded. “I know I should have told you all. But I didn’t want to be pulled off the search for him. I need this kill. I had the chance to kill him and I couldn’t do it. And now he found me and is out for revenge.”
“Revenge,” Blaine said, scoffing. “He’s killed innocent people. The prospect. And almost took one of our own.”
“My fucking face,” Erik said. He slowly rose. “You should have been in that car. Then it would have been over.”
“Erik, sit down,” Miller said.
“No!” Erik snapped. He started to walk around the table. Anyone who reached for him was smacked away. “No. You drove the car right into the compound. With a bomb in it. And you knew, somewhere in the back of your fucking mind, that your brother, that Caius, was out there. Lurking. Waiting. And then… boom!”
Shay looked forward at the whiskey bottle. Erik was right next to him now. Shay knew he deserved whatever was going to happen. He shouldn’t have kept a secret from his club. That’s not how a MC is supposed to function. A club is only as strong as its members, and secrets can destroy it.
“I’m sorry,” Shay said. “But it’s my brother out there. I’m still coming to terms with it… and I want him dead…”
“We all want him dead,” Miller said. “We can’t lose our focus here.”
“I’m not losing my focus,” Erik said and laughed. “If I can’t get my hands on the man who did this, then why not his fucking brother?”
Everyone seemed to jump up at once. But it was too late. Erik threw a fist that felt like a boulder hitting Shay’s face. The punch would have hurt on its own, but with fresh wounds from the fight with Nile, it was a whole other world of pain.
Shay fell from his chair to the floor. Erik was right there, on top of him. Erik grabbed his shirt so hard that he tore it. He came down with as many punches as he could before Nate and Griffin were able to pull him off Shay.
“Fuck you, man,” Erik yelled. “Fuck you for what you’ve done. All this…”
“Stop!” Miller yelled. He pointed to Erik. “You take a goddamn breath.” He pointed to Shay. “Get him the hell up.”
Nate helped Shay to his feet. Shay tasted fresh blood and he felt tired and beat up. Literally.
“Why hold back?” Miller asked.
“He’s my brother, Miller, but he’s not my family. I didn’t want to be excluded from this. And I don’t know much about him. I swear.”
“But you knew he was your brother. You have a history together. You could have provided some sort of insight into who we were looking for. But you said nothing.”
“I’m sorry,” Shay said. “I promise you, Miller. We’ll find Caius and kill him.”
“That I know,” Miller said. “Because Back Down Devil won’t be taken down on my watch. Meeting is over. I want everyone to get out of here. Tomorrow we are going to meet with the leaders of Eight Under. There will be no violence. Is that fucking understood?”
“Yes,” the group said.
“Then we will meet with Strokner and we will find Caius and kill him. I don’t care if he’s in a suit and tie. I don’t care if he rolls a fucking dealership into us and car after car blows up. We are not backing down from this.”
“That’s why,” Shay said. “That’s why, Miller. I need to be there. I can help. I can lure…”
Miller placed a hand on Shay’s shoulder where his ripped shirt exposed his skin. “It’s time for you to stop talking, Shay.”
Shay sucked in a breath and one of Miller’s large fists hit him in the gut. It knocked the wind out of him and brought him to his knees.
Shay looked up at Miller and Miller shook his head.
Nothing was worse than the feeling of being alone. His own brother was out to kill him, and now he had betrayed the only family he could count on to protect him. The club was his life, but the look on Miller’s face indicated that his time with them may be up. He slowly rose to his feet, kept his head down, and hurried to his room. At least he still had Ava.
eighteen.
Waiting for Shay gave Ava the same anxiety she had when she used to look through the information about her father in the small room hoping one of the Lost Men wouldn’t bust in. Ava sat on the bed and waited for Shay. She couldn’t stop picturing the explosion. Jon was alive one second, fulfilling his duty of protecting her, and the next second he was dead, all because he was trying to show Shay his appreciation. It felt so wrong and unfair. But as terrible as it probably was to think, she couldn’t help but be thankful that it wasn’t herself and Shay on that bike when it blew up.
Jon died for the club. Which was more than anyone could say about Nile. He died a sick death, but he deserved to. No longer would he threaten Ava’s life and make her live in fear. Shay and Trev made sure of that.
The door to the bedroom opened and Shay came stumbling in. He was drunk and bloody. It was fresh blood too. Not just from the fights. He had been hit again.
Ava jumped up. “Shay, what happened?”
“Took my punishment,” he said. “The person doing all this, Ava, is my brother. That’s my secret. You wanted to know why I was hiding, like you? That’s why. Caius is my fucking brother. He’s been hurting people his entire life. And now he’s coming after me by hurting the club.”
Ava rushed to Shay and took him by the hands. “Shay, I’m so sorry. You could have told me.”
“Don’t talk to me about it,” Shay said. He broke away from Ava and moved her out of the way. He tore off his leather cut and literally ripped his already torn shirt from his body. “You don’t understand a fucking thing. You’re just some woman passing through here. You need protection so you open your fucking legs.”
Ava gasped. “That’s not…”
Shay looked back. “My club is against me now. They have the right to be. I want to kill Caius. I had the chance before and couldn’t do it.”
“You will,” Ava said. “Just look at tonight. What happened was tragic, but it wasn’t you. You could have been on that motorcycle.”
She touched Shay’s shoulder and bit her lip. Shay shook her away.
“Fuck that. I wouldn’t have been so stupid.”
“Jon was stupid?” Ava asked.
“Are you fucking kidding me? The motorcycle was moved somewhere else. What did you expect to happen? Caius wasn’t trying to kill me. He was just proving a point. He wanted us to know he could be anywhere, anytime. If he wanted me dead, I’d be dead. That was Jon’s fault for being a fucking moron. For not understanding his surroundings. For getting lost in the moment. So worried about his leather cut and getting a goddamn patch. It doesn’t fucking matter.” Shay spun around and grabbed Ava by her shoulders. The look on his face scared the hell out of her. “You hear me? It doesn’t fucking matter. I’ve protected you, Ava. But I’ve let down my brothers out there. And now I’m going to kill my own flesh and blood, my only brother. That’s what my future looks like, if you care to know it. So when you find out about your husband, you need to get ready to go. I’m sorry. I won’t let anyone else down. And I won’t have anymore blood or death on my hands.”
Shay turned and went to the bathroom. The door slammed and Ava couldn’t move. She’d never seen a man so emotionally broken before. And yet she wanted to be to closer to him. She wanted to protect him. Help him. But she had no idea how to do that.
Ava listened for the water to turn on before she walked to the door. Slowly, she opened it. It was just like the first time she snuck into the shower with him. The first time her small hand gripped his long, hard shaft. Ava studied Shay’s silhouette and noticed that he was hunched over, head hanging down.
After stripping herself, Ava walked to the shower and stepped inside. The warm steam made her shiver. This time, instead of being seductive, she clawed his shoulder and pulled. “Turn around and look at me.”
Shay listened. Water rushed down his beautiful face and blood still seeped from his wounds. He was beat up. Phy
sically, mentally, and emotionally. His eyes looked defeated.
Ava grabbed his face with both hands and just held him. Her lips trembled as she tried to find words.
“I wanted to kill my husband,” she whispered. “I wanted to do it so bad. I had the chance every time he would get piss drunk and pass out after he forced me to do things. But I couldn’t do it. No matter how much I hated him and wanted him dead, he was still my husband. My family. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.”
“I have to do it,” Shay said. “I owe it to the club. I owe them my life, and I’ll gladly die for them.”
Ava’s lips continued to tremble. She wiped her thumb under Shay’s left eye, wiping blood away.
“I would die for you, Shay,” Ava said. “Because of what you’ve done for me.”
Shay shook his head. “No, love. That’s not going to happen. You need to stay safe until this blows over. And if I die, you run. Understand?”
“I’m not thinking about that,” Ava said. “You told me not to think about the past or the future. You told me to live in this moment and the present. You gave a speech about time to a man who was killed seconds later.”
Shay blinked fast and his lip curled. “I know that.”
“So I’m here, Shay,” Ava said. She came forward a little more. She took her left hand from Shay’s face. She ran her hand down his chest and stomach until she curled her fingers around his cock. “This is the present. This is the moment. So live it. Take me, Shay. Fuck me.”
Shay flickered a quick smile and then kissed Ava.
With hell all around them, Shay thrusting inside her and kissing her was all the heaven Ava needed.
nineteen.
When Shay emerged into the clubhouse, it seemed all activity stopped. The Lost Men lined the back wall and stood as though they were ordered to do so. The guys of Back Down Devil at the bar stood. The meeting room door opened and Miller stepped out. Behind him came Griffin, Gaige, and Erik. Shay made eye contact with Erik and his stare was cold and guilty, much like Shay’s.
“We’re gearing up,” Miller called out. “Get ready to leave in a little bit. We’re bringing bodies but nothing else. This meeting is to prove a point. We’re not using our weapons or our fists. That’s what they want. That’s what he wants. And it’s not going to happen.”
Murmurs broke out amongst everyone. Miller ignored them all and turned his attention to Shay. He pointed toward the meeting room and Shay knew he was about to face the heat from his dumb decision. He followed Miller into the meeting room and was surprised to find Erik following too.
The door was shut and Shay turned, keeping his hands at his sides. He was willing to take whatever else Erik felt he needed to do.
“Where’s your weapons?” Miller asked.
“I’m holstered. Why?” Shay questioned.
“Give me your gun.”
Shay did as he was told and offered his gun to Miller. He put it on the table and then stood to the side as Erik stepped forward.
“You deserved getting the shit beat out of you,” Erik said.
“I know I did.”
“But the bombs aren’t your fault. I’m angry at the world, Shay. Even Kaity hasn’t been able to take these feelings away.”
“I had no idea Caius was coming back for me. I take all the blame for the mechanic, for Kaity almost getting killed, for the prospect. For everything.”
“No,” Miller said. He reached out and touched Shay’s shoulder. “We’re a brotherhood here. There should be no secrets. You did the wrong thing. The time will come and we will handle it, Shay. But for now, we act as one. Nothing less than that.”
“I didn’t want to be pulled away from it,” Shay said.
“You keep saying that,” Erik said. “Makes you sound full of shit.”
“It’s the truth. This has been so hard on me. And I’ve been trying to protect Ava from everything.”
“Again, with the pussy,” Miller said. He grabbed Shay’s gun and put it back into his hand. “Remember why you have this gun and why you’re allowed to wear that cut.”
“I think about that all the time,” Shay said. “I would never forget.”
“Look at my face,” Erik said. “Don’t forget what happened.”
Erik stepped forward until he and Shay were nose to nose.
“Time to ride,” Miller said. “We are going to end this, one way or another.”
The feeling of being alienated from his club only motivated him more to find Caius. When he climbed on his motorcycle and started it, he looked to the clubhouse. There was no choice now but to leave Ava behind. She had already seen too much. And if Caius was going to have his way, Shay couldn’t bear to have Ava there to witness it.
Miller gave a hand signal and he pulled forward. He pointed to Trev and offered him the second spot in line. It was a sign of respect and Trev accepted it. Then the entire Back Down Devil crew and the Lost Men made their way out of the compound. As they rode, Shay wondered how and when Miller set all this up. He got the feeling that he was being left out of something. As much as he deserved to be left out, the club could not survive a war if they weren’t all on the same page.
Miller and Trev led the long line of motorcycles to a desolate place outside Frelen. They were about ten miles west of their usual meeting land. It was best that they avoided there since Strokner figured out what they used the land for. The Eight Under crew was lined up with a quick count of at least fifty men.
Not once since Shay was patched in with Back Down Devil had there ever been a meeting like this. Not only was it larger than most, this time there was more tension within Back Down Devil than there was between them and the enemy.
They all parked and Miller stepped off his ride first. He pointed to his VP, Gaige, and then nodded to Nate, Erik, Landon, Blaine, and Shay. It surprised Shay. He knew Miller said they needed to be a united front, but he figured he would have been sat out of this meeting as punishment.
Miller took his sunglasses off and looked at the group of men in front of him. The rest of the guys, including Shay, crossed their arms. A sign that they weren’t going to draw their weapons.
“Where’s your leader?” Miller asked.
The two front men stepped to the side, opening a path. A large men sat on his motorcycle. It was a beautiful ride, all chrome, perfectly clean. High handlebars with weeping skulls on it. When the man stood up, he seemed to be the same height as Miller, but he was definitely thicker and covered in more tattoos.
“I guess that’s our guy,” Miller said with a smile. “Little Jimmie.”
The Eight Under crew started to stir.
“Not called that anymore,” the man said as he stepped forward. “It’s Jimmie. Or President, if you’re in my club.”
“Well, I’m not in your club.”
“Makes me wonder what you want then. You call me desperate for a meeting and then bring a bunch of goons with you.”
“Those guys?” Miller asked. “That’s protection. An insurance policy. Pretend they’re not there.”
“Hard to do. Lots of angry looking men there, Miller.”
“That’s because we are angry. Someone has been trying to blow us all up lately.”
“So I’ve heard,” Jimmie said. He made fists and cracked his knuckles. “Damn shame what happened to your prospect last night.”
“How’d you know about that?” Gaige asked. “You weren’t at the fights.”
Jimmie smiled. “I know everything. We’ve lost our fair share of prospects. At your hands, Miller.”
“Stay out of our business,” Miller said. “Stop sending your punks around…”
“One tried to fucking kill me,” Landon said. “So I gutted him.”
Jimmie stepped toward Landon. “How about I gut you right now, son?”
“Show me your fucking knife.”
“Hold up,” Miller said. “I called this meeting to explain who you’ve climbed into bed with.”
“Oh, this a frien
dly meeting? We’re good now?” Jimmie asked.
“Fuck no,” Blaine said.
“We’ll settle our personal war when the time comes,” Gaige said.
“This is business,” Miller said. “This is for the greater good of our clubs and our towns. The man you’re making deals with…”
“He’s my brother,” Shay cut in.
Jimmie let out a laugh. “Ah, so that explains it. My good friend, Caius, did tell me he had ties to Back Down Devil. In fact, he told me he knew exactly how to bring your club down.”
“You’ll all end up dead,” Shay said. “You’ve seen what he’s capable of.”
“Oh, but our new arsenal is so worth it,” Jimmie laughed. “And my ride… she’s a beauty.”
“That’s a nice bike,” Blaine said. “Good luck riding it when you’re dead.”
“Oh, I didn’t mean that ride,” Jimmie said. “You should see the women. I’ve never seen my guys so happy before. Women that will do anything.” Jimmie looked at Blaine. “I mean anything. Fuck, man, maybe you want to trade in that cut for something better?”
“You’ll have to kill me to get this leather off my back,” Blaine said.
Jimmie laughed again. “Sounds like a plan then.”
“Listen to me,” Miller said, stepping forward. “Bullshit aside, what you’re messing with is bad for business and bad for your club. You need to get that. This guy is going to tear it all apart, and you’re paving the way for him. For what? Some cash, guns, pussy? He’s going to fucking turn on you. Listen to Shay. Help us get to him and then we can call a truce for now.”
“A truce?” Jimmie asked. “How many men have I had to bury recently?”
“That was your doing,” Gaige said. “Our beef can stop for a minute.”
“You don’t get how much Caius has to offer,” Jimmie said.
“You don’t get what he’ll do,” Shay shouted. He stepped out of line and at Jimmie. “He’ll fucking…”
Jimmie gave a nod and two guys grabbed Shay.
A small fight ensued as fists were thrown. Shay connected a couple times, and he took a couple. Nate broke it up and Miller pointed to Shay.
“Back down,” he bellowed. “Go to your ride and wait for us. Goddamnit.”