by London Casey
The two men started to exchange words.
“Don’t worry,” Jon said to Ava. “Shay will knock him out. He’s tough.”
“Thanks.”
“If I can say it, Shay scares the shit out of me. But I want to be just like that.”
“Where are you from, Jon?” Ava asked.
“It doesn’t matter where I’m from. It matters where I am. This is my life, ma’am. If you feel uncomfortable and need something from me, please let me know.”
Ava looked at Jon, but he was busy scanning the crowd for any sign of trouble. He was definitely loyal to the club and its wishes.
In the middle of the circle, Shay and Nile were nose to nose, still talking. Then Nile leaned back just slightly and head butted Shay. It sent Shay backward, but not before he was able to throw a right fist and knock Nile in the jaw. Nile spun but stayed up.
The two then squared off, fists up.
They each took punches, dodging as needed. They circled each other. With each missed punch, Ava could see the rage on Shay’s face. The same for Nile. This was not just about a fight. Ava was at the center of this. She feared that if Shay lost the fight it would mean Nile would have the power to do whatever he wanted to Ava.
“If I asked you to kill Nile, would you?” Ava asked.
“If Shay wanted it, yes,” Jon said.
Nile connected a punch to Shay’s gut. Then came a quick second punch to his face. Ava jumped and grabbed Jon’s arm. Nile continued to swing but Shay backed up. Step after step, getting out of the way.
“They’re going to cheat,” Jon said. “Fuck, ma’am, I’m sorry for what you’re about to see.”
“What…”
Shay was close to the edge and that’s when a few of the Lost Men grabbed Shay’s arms. They held tight and Nile went crazy with his fists. Punch after punch, he moved fast, grunting so loud that Ava could hear him from where she was.
Jon turned and moved Ava out of his way. He started to move and Ava grabbed his arm.
“What are you doing?” Ava asked.
“I need to… oh shit, I can’t leave you.” Jon looked so unsure about what he should do. But he stayed by Ava’s side.
Ava looked at Shay. Finally, some of the guys in Back Down Devil had made their way through the crowd and started attacking the Lost Men. When the guys let Shay go, he fell to one knee. His hands were on the ground.
He’s going to lose… No, he can’t…
Ava was like a statue. Everything around her started to go black. All she could see was Shay’s face. Droplets of blood fell down to the pavement. Nile stood before Shay. He reached down and grabbed Shay by the hair and tilted his head back.
“He can’t lose,” Ava said.
The brawl between Back Down Devil and the Lost Men had calmed.
Nile started to say something to Shay and that’s when Shay attacked. He grabbed Nile by the back of his knees and pulled. Nile threw his arms out, losing his balance. Shay then jumped up and threw a hard right, hitting Nile in the mouth. Nile spun around once and stumbled back. Shay turned and jumped into the crowd of Lost Men, swinging like a wild man. Ava had never seen anything like this before.
Shay hit man after man and took punch after punch as though he didn’t feel it. When Shay was thrown back into the circle, he stood with his hands at his sides, blood on his face, his body glistening with sweat and blood. That’s when Ava realized she was turned on.
Extremely turned on.
Shay looked right at her and nodded. Ava nodded back and gave a wave. She wanted to see it now. She wanted to see Shay destroy Nile. The urge for violence was suddenly a fire in her blood. It made her angry. It made her want Shay so badly.
When Shay turned to face Nile, he was ready to fight again. Nile threw a fist and Shay moved to the side. Instead of punching Nile, he kept moving. Shay taunted Nile with his face movements and inability to accept defeat.
Finally, Nile stood in the center of the circle. He looked around. The look on his face showed no fear. He was ruthless. He reached down and lifted the leg of his jeans. When he grabbed a knife, the entire crowd started to stir.
“That’s not good,” Jon said. “Not allowed.”
“They don’t care about rules!” Ava screamed. And that was the truth.
The Lost Men had no interest in stopping Nile and Gaige and Erik went after a few of them. When guys from another crew started to come into the circle to restrain Nile, Shay shockingly called them off. He put his fists up, ready to fight a man with a knife.
Nile came at Shay fast, but Shay moved out of the way and punched Nile in the gut. And then he swung hard at Nile’s face, hitting him. When Nile turned, the knife came across and sliced Shay at his ribs. Shay screamed and dropped to one knee again. Nile tried to take advantage of the move and rushed at Shay, but Shay threw his leg out, tripping Nile. Shay jumped on top of Nile and tackled him to the ground.
Ava saw the knife fall from Nile’s hand and finally let out the breath she had been holding.
Shay began smashing Nile’s head off the ground. Over and over. Thud after thud. After a few seconds, Ava expected the fight to be called, but it wasn’t. They were going to let Shay get his revenge on Nile.
“If you disrespect the fight, you pay,” Jon said. “You might want to look away.”
“No,” Ava said. “If he deserves…”
Just then, Trev walked into the center of the circle. He grabbed the knife. At the same time, Miller and Gaige came into the circle. Trev put a hand out and shook his head. Miller and Gaige stopped.
Trev put a hand to Shay’s shoulder. Shay turned and punched Trev in the stomach. Trev stumbled back. Shay stood and looked around. When he saw Miller and Gaige, he backed away. He walked backwards, his eyes on Nile’s body.
“Ma’am, look away,” Jon said. “This is…”
“Shut up,” Ava said. She grabbed Jon by the arm and squeezed tight. She moved to her toes.
“I’m begging you,” Jon said. “If you’ve never…”
Ava looked at Jon and then slapped him. “You listen to me. Leave me the fuck alone.”
Jon nodded.
Trev moved over Nile and in one swift motion, he brought the knife down into Nile’s chest. And just like that, the fight between Shay and Nile and the fear of Nile having his way with her was over.
The entire crowd was silent.
Trev stood and without emotion on his face, he walked back to the crowd. The Lost Men didn’t even seem phased by one of their own being killed. They were still lined up, ready to go into the next fight.
It was nothing like the brotherhood of Back Down Devil.
Shay walked through the crowd escorted by Miller and Gaige.
“What was that?” Blaine asked as he held Shay’s bloody face.
Shay looked at Ava. “He had it coming.”
Blaine looked back at Ava and smirked.
“Fucking Christ,” Miller said. “I never… well, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen something like that.”
Ava stepped down from the table. She heard Jon call her name, but she ignored him. She just walked. When she was close enough, she grabbed Blaine by the arm and pulled him out of the way. Nothing would stop her from getting to Shay.
“Love, I’m covered in…”
Ava jumped into his arms.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “For what you just did… I’ll…”
Shay shook his head and looked at Ava. “I’ll do whatever I can to keep you safe.”
The rest of the world meant nothing to Ava right then. A voice boomed from the center of the circle, trying to get the crowd back into the fights. But Ava and Shay just stared into each other’s eyes and in that instant she knew that she would accept his life as hers now, even if death was right around the corner.
seventeen.
Shay held Ava tight. He had never fought a fight with his heart before. All his previous fights had been for fun, for revenge, or for the club. This one was for Ava. Wh
en Shay put Ava down, Gaige stood there with a towel. Shay grabbed it and wiped his face. It hurt everywhere, but he didn’t care. He moved the towel and Ava let out a gasp.
“What?” Shay asked.
“Your eye is still bleeding,” Ava said. “I think you need stitches.”
Shay smiled. “No stitches. I’ll hold the towel until it stops. I don’t give a fuck.”
Shay stepped up on the table and stood next to Jon. He looked down at Ava standing with Miller, Gaige, and Nate. Seeing her there just made sense. He had exposed his life to her, and she was still there. It didn’t scare her off. He couldn’t believe it.
“You did good, Jon,” Shay said. “I appreciate you keeping her close and safe.”
“I just stood here,” Jon said. “I wanted to help you when they were holding you.”
“I know. But it’s good now. That’s how the fights go. You never know what will happen.”
“What will they do with his body? That guy?”
Shay looked at Jon. “I don’t give a fuck, Jon. Why should you? He’s gone. You’re not.”
Jon nodded. “Yeah. Sorry.”
“Look, Jon, this is the life. People die. People get killed. Some are good men, some aren’t. If you have some kind of belief about what happens after death, that’s okay. But don’t get caught up in it. Your seconds are ticking away right now. That’s what makes life scary and exciting.”
“I think I have a long time to go,” Jon said. “I’d like to fight sometime soon, if it’s allowed.”
“Well, we do sometimes have prospects fight. Just stay focused, Jon. That’s what it takes to get patched. Listen. Focus. Do your fucking job. Don’t fuck up.”
Shay smacked Jon on the back and then handed him the bloody towel. He jumped down and took Ava by the hand. He looked at Miller and nodded.
“You’re crazy,” Miller said. “You were jumped and had a knife pulled on you. And you still made it out of there.”
“Takes a lot more than that to take me down,” Shay boasted.
“I think it’s time we move out of here,” Gaige said. “We need to figure out a use for the Lost Men and then send them packing.”
“I agree,” Miller said. “But Trev did the right thing. He sent a clear message to the Lost Men. He’s not afraid to do what needs to be done. Goddamn I wish he was still patched in.”
“But he’s not,” Gaige said. “His decision.”
“How many fights are left?” Shay asked.
It turned out there were just three more to go. The Lost Men finished with one win and two consecutive losses. When Trev was asked about fighting, he walked away. When the fights were finished, the crowd yelled a bunch of drunken cheers.
Shay had no interest in being near anyone, except Ava. He wanted to finish with the Lost Men, Eight Under, and finally find Caius.
Miller came up to Shay with a cell phone in his hand. “Just got a call from Strokner.”
“Why the fuck did he call you directly?” Gaige asked.
“He’s getting comfortable,” Shay said.
“He saw our guy again. Caius.”
Shay’s blood boiled.
“Where?” Gaige asked.
“He was in a private car, riding around the area. Strokner said it looks like Caius is looking for a location to possibly set up a business venture,” Miller said.
“He’s right under our fucking noses,” Shay said.
“Let’s get back to the clubhouse,” Miller said.
Shay took a step and Jon jumped in front of him. “Let me get your ride, Shay. As a thank you for trusting me protect your woman.”
Gaige and Blaine started to laugh.
“Hey, kid,” Blaine said, “want to lick the sweat off his balls?”
“He would if you told him to,” Miller said and smiled.
“What about my big old balls?” Blaine asked. “I can’t remember the last time I washed them. Just imagine how much pussy…”
“Oh, man,” Gaige said. “Just stop. I can’t.”
“Go get my fucking ride then,” Shay said. “Christ.”
Jon ran away and Shay shook his head.
The rest of the group started to walk to their motorcycles. Shay stood with Ava.
“He looks up to you,” she said. “That prospect.”
“I don’t care,” Shay said. “He should care about what he’s… what the fuck is he doing?”
Miller, Blaine, Nate, and Griffin were walking to the left where all their motorcycles were parked. But Jon was running to the right. When Shay looked back at the line of bikes, he noticed his was missing. All of a sudden, Shay realized what was about to happen.
“Jon, Noooooooo!”
Before Jon had the chance to turn around, the motorcycle-and Jon-exploded in a fireball of flames.
Shay could hear Ava screaming and the thudding footsteps of the guys running toward him, but his mind instantly went back to the conversation he had just had with Jon about time counting down and never knowing when your time would be up. He just stood there, frozen.
“What the fuck…,” Blaine yelled.
“Caius,” Miller said.
Shay spun around and looked at the President of Back Down Devil MC.
It’s time, Shay… it’s time… this death is on your hands…
All Shay could do was stare at Miller. The rest of the guys ran to the charred remains of Shay’s motorcycle and the prospect, Jon. It was a mess of burnt steel and a life taken for no reason at all.
“Call a meeting,” Shay said. “Right now.”
“Yeah,” Miller said.
Ava grabbed Shay by the arm and pulled at him. He looked at her and touched her face. “I need to get you out of here. It’s got to stop. All the hiding and secrets have to stop. Ava, where can I send you? Where can I take you?”
“To your bed,” Ava said. “I can’t leave you now.”
“No…”
“Gear up!” Miller bellowed. “We’re riding in two minutes. If you’re left behind, then fuck yourself. You deserve it.” Miller pointed to Shay. “I’m sorry, Shay, but you need to ride the prospect’s motorcycle back to the clubhouse.”
Shay’s stomach turned. He didn’t give a shit about Nile being killed tonight. He didn’t give a shit about any of the fights or injuries. But the prospect? That hit home. Shay got on the bike, and as Ava climbed on the back, he looked over to the mess where his motorcycle had blown up.
Gaige pulled up next to Shay and yelled, “That’s taken care of, Shay. Chief is on it for us. You need to focus, bro. We have to stop this.”
Gaige took off. Shay got in position and rode with his club.
They returned to the clubhouse and the scene was tense. The Lost Men were tending to their wounds. They celebrated the winners and picked on the losers. Trev didn’t speak a word. Instead, he threw the bloody knife that had taken Nile’s life onto one of the pool tables. It was obviously a clear message to anyone else that he wouldn’t hesitate if they crossed him again.
Miller had a beer as he stood in the doorway to the meeting room. With Ava at his side, Shay approached Miller.
“We have to meet right now,” Shay said.
“Look at you, man,” Miller said. “Go get a shower first. I’m sure your friend will be honored to clean you up.”
Ava’s face turned a bright red.
Miller smirked.
“No,” Shay said. “I can’t wait. I have something I have to tell everyone.”
“Yeah?” Miller asked.
Shay felt Ava squeeze his hand. He turned and touched her face. “Love, go back to the room, okay? Get settled. Grab a bite, a beer, whatever. You’re safe here. If anyone bothers you, I’ll fucking kill them.”
Ava nodded. She got close and whispered, “What are you going to tell them?”
Shay stared into her eyes. “The truth.”
He pushed Ava away and nodded. As she walked away and glanced back, Shay felt a pain in his chest. His heart ached for her. It ached the
same way the last time he saw his brother. When he couldn’t make the fucking kill. And because of that… all this was happening.
In the meeting room, Gaige came in and put a bottle of whiskey down in the middle of the table. Blaine had a lit cigarette between his lips, but he wasn’t smoking it. Everyone else was quiet. And Shay hated to admit it, but it looked as though they were afraid.
“What happened tonight was bad,” Miller said, “We can all agree to it. Prospect, patched in, whoever… that was a life lost. We’ll honor Jon with a drink, but this has to stop. We have to step everything up. The Lost Men are here for a purpose. Tomorrow, we meet with Eight Under. Then we take our army and head into battle.”
“I have something to say,” Shay said. He looked around the table.
“Go ahead, Shay,” Miller said.
“I want to kill him. I want to watch Caius die. I want to hear his last breath and see death crawl across his face. And I have good goddamn reason to do it.”
“Oh yea?” Erik asked, taking offense. “Did he ever hurt you?”
“My entire life,” Shay said. He tried to keep his voice steady.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Blaine asked.
“Shay, what’s your point?” Miller asked. “We’re wasting time.”
Shay leaned forward and gulped down some whiskey. “Jon’s death is on my hands,” Shay confessed. “From the second those mechanics said something about the scar on the neck and the gold tooth… I knew.”
“What did you know?” Gaige asked.
“I did it,” Shay said. “I put that scar on his neck.”
“What the hell…,” Nate said.
Shay drank more whiskey. His heart and body was raging with guilt and anger and pain.
“I slit his throat,” Shay said. “But not good enough. Because I looked into his eyes and I hesitated. I couldn’t end his life when I had the chance. If I had, none of this would be happening. We’d be out there, drinking, fucking, and living.”
“So that’s why he is after you?” Gaige asked. “That’s okay, Shay. We aren’t going to let some old enemy hurt one of our brothers.”
“He’s not just some old enemy,” Shay said. “Caius is my brother.”