Bridger

by Megan Curd

  She seemed reluctant to answer. Rather than give an answer to the question I wanted, she brought the conversation back to my emotional outburst. “I didn’t realize how badly I’d hurt you over the years, Ashlyn. I’m so sorry.”

  I looked away, closing my eyes to hide the pain I’d felt from the years of wishing she wanted me around. “It doesn’t matter.”

  The next thing I knew, Memaw was standing not a foot away. Her open arms begged to be filled. I fell into her, the tears flowing freely.

  Memaw was crying as well. “It does, Ashlyn, it really does. I never meant to hurt you, that’s a promise. There’s so much you don’t know, that you don’t understand. I have so much to explain about you, about me. You and I, we’re not…” she trailed off, stiffening suddenly.

  “Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt,” Chris said, rocking awkwardly back on his heels. He backed out of the door quickly. “Mom was just wondering where you two were.”

  I looked at Chris apologetically. “Sorry, Chris. We were just talking.”

  Chris looked shocked that Memaw was saying more than three words to me. That’s how I felt, at least. “Alright, just don’t be too long. I wanna open gifts. You better have gotten me something good, Midget.”

  Closing the door behind him, Memaw and I were alone again.

  The interruption was annoying. It seemed like Memaw had been about to explain what was going on, why she had stayed distant. “You were saying something about us. What aren’t we?”

  She watched the door, not returning to our previous conversation. “Ashlyn, please be careful with Jamie in Ireland. I’m just not sure of the idea of you two going over by yourselves.”

  I sighed. I’d lost her. “Memaw, Jamie’s great. She’s a little excitable, sure, but she’s really a great girl. She knows everything about me; we’re like this,” I twisted my fingers around one another, indicating us as two peas in a pod, an indivisible unit.

  Memaw sighed. “That’s what I’m afraid of,” she said, looking out the window. Reaching inside of her robe, she pulled out the necklace once more. “Ash, would you please promise you’ll keep this safe for me? I think you’ve wanted it for a while, and it’s about time you had it.”

  I couldn’t believe my ears. “Are you serious?”

  Taking off my shell necklace and replacing it with the delicate pendant, Memaw smiled. “This has some amazing stories behind it, but they’ll have to wait until another time. Its worth is truly invaluable. Please watch over it and don’t lose it. Can we talk again soon?” There it was again: the flag of truce.

  Grinning, I took it willingly this time. Memaw seemed to truly want to work on our relationship. “Sure. Do you think you could cut Jamie a little slack in the process?” A favor for a favor. It didn’t seem too much to ask, in light of things.

  Locking the clasp in place, Memaw stepped back, admiring the pendant resting at the hollow of my throat. She smiled. “It looks beautiful on you,” she commented, avoiding my request.

  Looking down at it, I couldn’t help but smile through the minor frustration. “Thanks, Memaw.”

  “I love you, Ashlyn. Please know and trust that.”

  I looked up, surprised at the sudden declaration. It sounded nothing but true, although it was impossible to wrap my mind around it. “I love you too, Memaw.”

  This Christmas was definitely a new leaf. Walking toward the door and grasping the doorknob, I turned to Memaw. “Are you coming?”

  Silent tears were streaming down her face, but she was smiling. “I’ll be right out. Start opening gifts; I won’t be long.”

  I started out of the room, but then turned once more. The dream was still on my mind. “Memaw, were your eyes ever black like mine?”

  She answered too quickly. “No, why do you ask?”

  “It's just…I had a dream.”

  She looked at me sideways. “Did you dream about the necklace?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. Then it was in the pocket of my shorts this morning. It was kind of a weird coincidence you put it in there.”

  It looked like she was fighting with herself about something. She was talking to herself. “So it’s happening. Inconceivable.”

  “What’s happening?”

  She looked at me once more. “Go be with the family. We’ll talk soon if need be. Let’s keep the necklace between the two of us, alright?”

  Nodding, I walked out of the room. Pulling out the collar of my shirt, the cold necklace connected with my skin. I wasn’t sure how the necklace had come into my possession anymore, but Memaw seemed intent to keep it quiet. I decided to honor her and keep it a secret. Maybe this could be the start of lots of secrets we could share with one another.

  Memaw reappeared quietly in the midst of the festivities, taking her usual spot on the couch. Christmas wasn’t as cheerful with Dad gone, but we made it work as best possible. Dad’s Christmas gifts were left untouched under the tree. We all tried to avoid the sight. It wasn’t that the day was bad; it was actually really nice, all things considered. We were all being strong for one another. It didn’t diminish the ache in my heart, but it helped to know Dad had to be happy, wherever he was now.

  Jamie came over in the afternoon, bringing all of her bags for the trip in the morning. After eating through more food than should be legally allowed, I reclined on the couch. Chris laughed from behind his new Rock Band drum set. “Ash, you eat more than I do.”

  “I know, but I keep my girlish figure better than you.”

  He got up and curtsied, making Mom laugh. “You know, by just looking at a side of fries, I gain ten pounds. I don’t know how you do it, Ash.”

  I shook my head. “Maybe it’s just high metabolism. Memaw still looks good in her old age.”

  Memaw’s thin frown made me think I had offended her until she responded. “There might be more than high metabolism behind your ability to eat us out of house and home.”

  Jamie looked at her curiously. “What do you mean?”

  Memaw just shook her head, struggling to fasten on a smile as she stood up. She avoided the question, making a joke instead. Memaw never answered questions directly. “You come in handy, Ashlyn. You’re a human waste disposal unit. Anyone who can eat Jamie’s cooking and live to tell the tale should get an award.”

  We all laughed at Jamie’s pouting face. “I’m not that bad. I don’t try to kill people with my cooking.”

  Memaw’s face made me think she begged to differ.

  * * *

  After a few hours of Rock Band, my eyes began to develop a strange moving sensation when looking away from the screen. Stationary objects seemed to be moving. That was the point I declared my resignation from the game, conceding defeat to Chris in one-on-one mode.

  Chris jeered, poking me with the end of his guitar. “I knew you’d crack under the pressure.”

  Smacking his plastic fret board away, I kicked him in the back of the knee, causing him to lose his balance and almost fall. I laughed, dodging his next attempt to put me in a headlock. “You know, you really do rock. Not just at Rock Band. I’m glad you’re a cool guy. It makes not wanting to kill you so much easier.”

  He laughed. “Look who’s talking, Midget. You’re the one who causes all the problems.”

  This was true. However, from the looks of things, it seemed like Memaw and I were on the mend. That was the source of most tension around the house. That would be a nice change.

  Changing the subject, Chris looked at me with no hint of jest in his eyes. “Be careful in Ireland. I’m serious.”

  Chris being paternal was cute. “I already did a Wikipedia search and it turns out there’s more sheep than people in Ireland. I’m safe.”

  “Unless it ends up that you’re allergic to wool. Then you’re just screwed.”

  I puckered my lips, giving him a stink eye for good measure. We laughed, walking into the kitchen where everyone was eating again.

  Jamie was going over our itinerary with Mom. Memaw was even sitting acr
oss the table, looking over the printout Jamie had given her with our flight details. Impressive.

  Mom was clearly questioning her sanity at this point for allowing us to leave the country. “Now, how are we going to be able to get a hold of you?”

  “Well, I have Skype on my computer,” Jamie said. “We could install it on yours as well and then we can chat on the Internet.”

  Always looking to throw the worst-case scenario out there, Chris chimed in. “What if you’re kidnapped and your kidnappers won’t let you stop at a Starbucks to use the Wifi? Then you’re kind of screwed, aren’t you?”

  Horrified by this revelation of non-Starbucks going kidnappers, Mom snapped her attention back to me. “You need a cell phone that works in Ireland. I would feel so much better if you had one while you’re gone.”

  Leaning forward in her chair, Memaw joined in the conversation. “Sarah, I have one that works over there. She can take it.”

  Relieved, Mom went back to being thrilled with the upcoming trip. She was so easily convinced. It was one of the things that made living with her easy. “Great, Emily. Thanks so much.”

  Memaw rose from the chair, grabbing her walking cane. “I’ll go get it while we’re thinking of it.” As she hobbled off, I followed after her, leaving Jamie and Mom to their planning.

  Putting my hand on her shoulder so she wouldn’t be alarmed, I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her close as we continued to walk. “What did you need to explain? And why do you have a phone that works in Ireland? How long has it been since you’ve been there?” I was unsure as to why I was whispering, but it seemed like the right thing to do. It certainly gave the conversation a 007-esque feel. I chuckled at the internal joke. Memaw, my super spy.

  Continuing her hobbling pace, Memaw looked at me surreptitiously from the corner of her eye. “Not right now,” was all she said, rejecting all the questions with one answer.

  Shrugging out of the embrace, she walked back into Dad’s study and went to his old computer desk, pulling out drawers one by one. On the third drawer she found what she had been looking for: a black, rectangular cell phone. Holding it out to me, she dropped it into the palm of my hand. “Keep that on you, just in case of emergency,” she said. “You never know when something might come up and you won’t be able to skip or scotch or whatever it is you do on that laptop of yours.”

  Memaw loved to butcher words. Shaking my head, I smiled. “Sure, Memaw.”

  “The home number is already programmed in there.”

  “Thanks. I’ll have to put Reese in as well. I should keep in touch with him while we’re gone.”

  She was grinning. “When are you going to admit that Reese is a love interest?

  I sighed. Everyone thought we were going to fall madly in love at any moment. “Never. He’s definitely just a friend. After you see someone streak down a football field, you just can’t look at them the same.”

  She laughed. “Just checking. You know, sooner or later a boy is going to woo you.”

  I attempted to sound offhand. It didn’t come off very well. I wasn’t one of the most asked-out girls in school. Actually, it was a rarity. A rarity as in a girl with an infectious skin disease would probably have a better shot than I did. “I think to be wooed, you need to be woo-worthy.”

  Memaw smiled, putting her hand on my shoulder this time. “Don’t worry, you are.”

  Sticking the phone in my pocket, I returned Memaw’s smile. “It’ll be nice to meet the family and see where you’re from.”

  “You’re from there, too, Ash.”

  Something was on Memaw’s mind by the look on her face, but I didn’t want to bring it up right now. No need to push her when she was already being entirely too nice. If she continued to be this sweet, she might just melt.

  SEVEN

  Four a.m. came entirely too fast.

  It took five minutes to have my life packed back into a duffel bag and carry-on. I brushed my teeth, yanked a hoodie over the baseball t-shirt I had slept in, and pulled on a pair of old jeans before Jamie even began to move. After pulling my auburn hair back into the trademark ponytail I was known for, everything was set.

  I flicked the bedroom light on while pulling a pair of headphones through the collar of my hoodie. Jamie was refusing to move from the bed we had shared for the night. “It’s way too early to pull you out of bed by your toes. You’ve got to get ready to head to the airport.”

  Jamie responded with a non-committal grunt, taking her pillow and putting it over her head. Her words muffled, I was impressed and disappointed with myself at the same time for knowing what she said. There were at least three layers dividing us. “Give me five minutes, Ash. Five minutes.”

  Rolling my eyes, I walked upstairs to grab some granola bars to stick in my backpack for the long flight ahead. Jamie would undoubtedly complain of starvation otherwise. Memaw and Mom were sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. It was nice to see them enjoying a quiet moment to themselves.

  Staying silent, I went to the pantry in true Ninja form, remembering to miss the creaking board under the tile right before the pantry door. Grabbing the bars, I turned to go back downstairs and drag Jamie out of bed by her toes just as I’d threatened if need be.

  The tail end of a conversation that I was not supposed to be hearing stopped me short.

  “Are you sure?” Mom whispered. She had a maternal tone. That was never good.

  Stepping back to the pantry but being sure to stay out of their line of sight, I drew a long breath, steadying myself for the eavesdropping that was about to ensue.

  Memaw was all business. “Completely, one-hundred percent positive. There’s no way there can be any other conclusion.”

  “She seems fine, Emily. I don’t want to think – ”

  “What you don’t want to think of are the repercussions that could come of what has already been set into motion.”

  “But I don’t even know if what you’re telling me is true. None of it makes much sense. Peter –”

  I heard a coffee cup hit the table a little harder than necessary. “Sarah, you’re only human. I don’t expect you to take all of this now, but please just trust my judgment on this and believe what I’ve told you. Peter tried his best to keep you all safe, but you can only run for so long before the past finds you.”

  Were they talking so ominously just to annoy me? Mom was only human? Wasn’t Memaw only human, too? What had Dad been protecting us from? I was frustrated by the lack of connections, but I knew there was something seriously wrong going on.

  “But why does Ashlyn have anything to do with this –”

  Memaw cut Mom off before she could give away any details. It was as though Memaw knew they weren’t alone. “Sarah, Ashlyn has everything to do with it…because of me. Because of what I’ve done.”

  Memaw had gotten me into trouble? When? Memaw couldn’t walk ten feet without being winded, how was she getting anyone else into trouble? I gave up on eavesdropping and decided to step into their vision. I closed the pantry door loudly to announce my arrival. Mom jumped three feet off her chair, sloshing coffee down the front of her pajamas.

  Quickly grabbing napkins to clean up the spreading mess, Mom never took her worried eyes off of Memaw. Her eyes were puffy and red; she’d been crying. “Oh, Ashlyn! You’re up! I was just about to come get you.”

  Memaw’s face, on the other hand, was completely blank. She’d had years of practice to perfect hiding her emotions. Her poker face was a confirmation of my already growing fears. I wanted to ask them what was going on, but there was no way I’d get any answers. It never seemed like adults would answer in a straight fashion. It was maddening on the best of days.

  I dismissed myself as quickly as I had intruded in on the conversation. I opened up the pantry once more and grabbed anything in sight. “That’s fine, Mom, I was just grabbing some breakfast bars for the road.” I continued to throw more bars into the bag long after there were too many, the entire plane could prob
ably be fed at this point. “I’m gonna go wake up Jamie and get everything ready.”

  As I headed back downstairs, I knew two things. One, something was definitely wrong. Wrong enough to bring Mom to tears, and wrong enough to bring Memaw to the point she actually wanted to be civil with me. Two, the plane ride was going to be too long and there was too much on my mind. There was so much that had happened. I was overwhelmed with half-connected information. Memaw was keeping secrets, but I was no closer to knowing what they were than before this madness had begun. I sighed. Dad would have been able to figure all this out.

  * * *

  Chris snored through my goodbye, so it was only Mom and Memaw seeing us off at the airport.

  Mom straightened Jamie’s scarf nervously, just to have something to do. “Please be careful, girls. I want to pick you both up in one piece.”

  Jamie flashed her most winning smile and took my mom’s hands in hers. “Don’t worry, Mrs. McVean. I’ll take care of Ashlyn.”

  Mom smiled back, nodding. “I know you will.”

  Memaw was always the silent one in conversations. She looked at Mom, saying nothing. Well, verbally, at least. I could tell they were having a conversation without saying anything. They did it all the time. It was annoying.

  Memaw stepped forward and gave me a hug, whispering in my ear. “Keep that necklace safe and the phone on you at all times. If you can’t scoot, that’ll come in handy.”

  I laughed and hugged her back. It was becoming easier, more natural. “Skype, Memaw, Skype.” Stepping away, I pulled the straps of my backpack tighter, suddenly nervous to leave. “I love you guys. We’ll be back soon.”

  “Be careful. Call me as soon as you touch down!” Mom called.

  I waved once more, blowing a kiss before walking through security. This was going to be an adventure.

  * * *

  Four thousand, one hundred eighty four miles and seventeen hours later, we touched down at the Cork Airport. It had been fairly uneventful if you considered Jamie becoming a blubbering mess in Manchester no big deal. She’d been fighting with the luggage handler about stowing her carry-on below the plane for the last leg of our trip. She had attempted in vain to yank the bag back from the handler who was three times her size. Without warning the bag erupted, causing her hair straightener to snap in half when it met the blacktop. The ensuing histrionics had almost gotten us a trip back to the US before we even arrived in Cork. I was so embarrassed; I doubt anyone had ever seen someone blush a deeper shade of red.