Andrew looks at me shocked while I decide to stop being such an idiot. I always thought love would be simple, but this is complicated. I realize that although he is my first, my perfect crush, it would be too difficult to have a relationship with someone outside of my community and now he is looking at me as if I am a freak.
Drinking my juice silently, I notice Andrew looking at me every now and again with puzzlement in his eyes. I can see the questions burning in them.
Carmine chatters non-stop with Peter and Martin, not including Andrew and me. The silence between Andrew and me is awkward and I see him become restless. For some stupid reason, I feel so sad. It comes from the general direction of my stomach.
I lean toward Carmine. “I have to leave. Will you get your own way back?”
Carmine smiles toward me and then she smiles sweetly to Andrew. “Ya. Andrew will give me a lift home.”
He laughs suddenly. “You cannot just assume.”
She pouts. “But you will, won’t you?”
He smiles brightly, and I see their eyes meet.
I say goodbye, but Andrew only looks up at me briefly without saying a word.
Carmine slides into the space I just vacated and she asks, looking up at me, “See you tomorrow at school?”
I smile down at her. “Okay.”
“Bye, Susie,” she calls after me. The good thing from all of this is that I made a friend, at least.
As I walk away, I hear Andrew say to Carmine, “Nice dress. Did you just buy it, because I’ve never seen it before?”
I have lived so long and never before have I ever felt this total, absolute sense of hopelessness.
Chapter Four
Carmine rushes toward me the next day at school, and I sigh inwardly. Although she would make life easier and I would be able to fit in faster, she was silly and inane at times. She never stopped talking and I wondered amused whether she ever thinks about anything. If her jaws are always moving, surely she could never contemplate the deeper things in life.
She seems overly excited and she says, “I cannot wait for this weekend. I am looking forward to Andrew’s party and I am glad you are also coming.”
I say apologetically, “I won’t be able to go anymore. I forgot we are going away for the weekend.”
“That’s very depressing. I was looking forward to you also going,” she sulks.
I am not looking forward to it, because house parties are usually seriously boring and predictable, but I reply kindly, “I completely forgot. My brother likes stargazing, and this weekend there is a new moon, so that means he can see the stars clearer, without the glare of the moon interfering.”
She asks, “Do you have to go with?”
“I do. It is like a family tradition already.”
She smiles acceptingly, shrugging it off and then she notices Andrew walking up the corridor. She yells excitedly, “Andrew!”
Damn, being friends with her is going to make me cross Andrew’s path daily and I was hoping to only look longingly at him every now and again. Besides, Shayne and Amanda have been nudging me toward Ethan for the last ten years. I do like Ethan, but I would not want to literally spend eternity with him.
Andrew smiles when he sees Carmine and he walks toward us. He looks at me and then smiles in greeting. He tickles Carmine in her waist and laughs delighted when she shrieks away from him.
“Hi, Carmine,” he laughs.
“Hey. You are here early today.”
“Ya, we had cross-country training this morning.”
He punches her lightly on the arm. “You know this, you goose.”
I just stand there looking at them. When he looks back at me, I feel foolishly inhibited.
We walk together to our registry class and the rest of the morning drags by.
During lunch break, I go to the office. The smell of percolated coffee is overwhelming and fills the entire administrative office. They decorated the entrance with modern furniture and it looks like a picture in an interior design magazine.
I ask the receptionist behind the high rosewood desk if she could give me details of the cross-country and she smiles friendly while she opens one of her filing drawers and takes out a stapled pack of papers.
She hands them to me over the desk, while smiling friendly. “There you go.”
I say, “Thank you,” politely and then I walk out the door and back into the sunshine, away from the air conditioning. I do not get hot or cold, but I do sense a change in weather and I can feel a difference in the air between warm or chilly.
I am not planning on stalking Andrew, by enquiring about cross-country. I did have a real interest in running. After all no one else could run long distance like I could, and never get out of breath.
Here students do not leave school at lunch break and we have to spend break together. There is no cafeteria where kids can go to sit down for lunch, but there is a tuck shop where they can buy a warm lunch and then they all scatter throughout the corridors and sports field – doing what they do in their respective groups.
I sit down in my usual corner and then I page through the documents the receptionist gave me. Usually I would read one of my books. I enjoyed reading and these days I enjoyed reading the various vampire romance books, which were dominating the bookshop shelves. I loved the idea that people thought there was a possibility that someone like me could have a relationship with a human boy. Never before have I had the slightest inclination or attraction to a human boy, until the first time I saw Andrew. He had some magnetic hold over me. Without speaking to me, I knew I would delight in his touch. It should be so simple - it always is in movies, but in movies, you cannot see the conflicting emotions and pain.
The bell rings and I automatically walk to my next class. Carmine bounds toward me. “Where have you been? I was looking all over for you.”
Carmine smiles toward Andrew. “Susie cannot come on Friday. Pity isn’t it.”
I must be fooling myself, but I thought I saw disappointment in his eyes. Yeah, right!
In Business Studies, Mr. Williams tells us to form groups of four. I see Carmine rush toward me and predictably, Andrew and John come with her.
Mr. Williams explains that he wants us to work on a project about the impact the internet has had on the world and the fact that the world has literally shrunk due to the information now available at each person’s fingertips. He tells us that we can start immediately and we drag our chairs across the floor and the scarping noise is loud and irritating.
Carmine, John, Andrew and I sit around the table and Andrew is sitting across from me.
I start the discussion, “I think that the internet has not shrunken this country, because although the population exceeds fifty million, only about ten percent have access to the internet.”
Andrew retaliates, “But they are building that fiber-optic cable under the sea. This will escalate the use of the internet dramatically.”
I laugh sarcastically. “No. The people in charge are too greedy to make it cheap enough for everybody to use it. Besides, if you had no food, would you…”
Andrew interrupts me rudely, “You have only lived in this country for a short while and as usual your kind has all the answers!”
I gasp insulted. “My kind?”
“Yes, your kind! You come here from your first world countries and then you think you can solve all our problems. All over the world, there is racism against colored people. In America, in Australia, but because the Europeans in this country gave it a name, it became such a great sin. Around the time they introduced apartheid into South Africa, was about the time slaves where hung and persecuted in America. Do not come here and pretend to be high and mighty!”
“How did we get from the internet to racism?” John asks embarrassed at Andrew’s outburst.
Andrew knocks his chair over as he gets up hurriedly and then he walks toward the exit door of the class without excusing himself.
Mr. Williams calls him back, but Andrew ignore
s him and slams the door when he walks out of the class.
John gets up from his chair slowly and he picks up the chair from the floor. He walks to Mr. Williams and asks him if he could go after Andrew.
Mr. Williams is red in the face. He is an aged teacher, with grey hair neatly brushed back over his ears and the centre of his head looks as smooth as a baby’s bum. He is most probably three years away from retirement. He says irate, “Tell him to either come back immediately or to meet me at the principal’s office after school.” Mr. Williams mumbles to himself, while John walks out to follow Andrew.
Carmine whispers to me, “Phew. That was unexpected. I have truly never seen Andrew carry on like that.”
I frown and start to doodle. Carmine looks over toward my notebook and she laughs softly. “You scribble vampire teeth!” More excited she asks, “Have you seen that new movie, the one with…”
Mr. Williams interrupts her, “Carmine, do you want to join Mr. Andrew Muller in the office later today?”
Carmine answers apologetically, “No, Sir.”
She takes out a book and then she starts to makes notes on what we should discuss regarding the project.
The bell rings after what seems like hours.
Later that afternoon my phone vibrates in my pocket and when I answer it, it is Carmine. She says, “Hi, Susie.”
“Hello.” I did not feel like talking to her. I have never been friends with someone like her and she will take time getting used to.
“I thought I would keep you updated about Andrew.”
“Why? I could not be bothered with what happens to him.”
“His dad is the principle, so his punishment is always more harsh! It is SO unfair.”
I do not reply. He was rude and attacked me for no reason.
“He is on community duty for the rest of the week and at home he has been grounded, so now his party might be cancelled on Friday.”
Feeling sorry for Carmine, because I can hear the disappointment in her voice, I say, “You were looking forward to that. I am sorry, because indirectly I caused it to be cancelled.”
Carmine hesitates for a moment. “You could make it up to me and have it at your house.”
“No. I told you I am going away this weekend.”
“Cancel. Tell your brother you are sleeping over at my house and then we can have a great party at your house without any adult supervision.”
“No, that would just cause more trouble.”
She sighs. “Fine. Anyway we are meeting at his house tomorrow to work on the project.”
I say determinedly, “I am not going to his house.”
“Why won't you come? We have to work on this anyway, you know? It has to be finished next week.”
“I’ll be busy tomorrow. Carry on without me; I do not need the marks anyway.”
“You are just being silly now. Do you want him to think you are taking anything he said seriously?”
“No.”
“Well, then you will come tomorrow afternoon.”
I sigh irritated. “Fine, I’ll see, but I have to go now.”
I remember something and quickly I ask before she hangs up, “The principal is Mr. Van Heerden and Andrew’s surname is Muller, yet you said they are family.”
Carmine laughs. “Yes, poor Andrew was adopted. He could have chosen a better dad, don’t you think?”
Amanda calls me, so I apologize to Carmine and end the call.
I walk to the kitchen and sit down in one of the chairs around the breakfast table. I watch Amanda pensively. She is making ice-popsicles, but not your usual popsicles, though. These popsicles are A-grade steak, cut into equal square rectangles. She pushes a longer than usual cocktail stick into one end and then she puts it into the freezer to freeze. It is very refreshing on a summer’s day.
Amanda usually leaves all of this for the weekends, but this weekend we are going away. We are going hunting. We always go when there is a new moon, because then the night is pitch black, especially in the rural areas. This will be the first time we are hunting in this particular area, but it adds to the excitement. In a year or so, it will be commonplace and boring again.
I ask, “You called me?”
“Oh, just to chat. Were you busy?”
I grunt, “No, not really”
Amanda asks without looking up. “How is school?”
“Stupid question!”
Amanda laughs exuberantly. “It sounds as if you are having problems with some of the humans?”
I reply stubbornly, “This one boy and I are having a difference of opinion. He seemed like such a goody-two shoes, but today he just stormed out of the class. I also learned that his father is the principle and trust me that man is scary, even to me.”
“So this boy is a rebel without a clue?”
I laugh with her, although this has completely changed my perception of Andrew. It made me want him more.
Chapter Five
I get dressed comfortably in black jeans and a black sweater. We will be leaving from our house and now we are waiting for Ethan to arrive.
Ethan has liked me for as long as I can remember, but there is something about him that makes me feel uncomfortable – small, little things that get in the way of me liking him. At times I would think, I could grow to like him, but then he would say or do something silly, insignificant, and that would change my mind. Shayne and Amanda always try to include Ethan in our hunts, because they are looking for a mate for me. In moments when they felt serious, they would wonder what would happen to me if something ever happened to them. According to them, Ethan would be the best replacement for them.
He is twenty-one years old and not a half-blood like me. He turned like Amanda and Shayne and they have skin like marble. They are rock hard and if you walked into them by accident, it actually could knock you backwards, it would be like walking into a brick wall. However, I have a certain degree of softness to me but I am not as squishy as humans are and to the uninformed, I would just seem well defined and muscle toned.
There is a knock at the door and I walk toward it, calling into the house, “I’ll get it.”
I open the door and the porch light illuminates him. He has his dark hair coifed up over his forehead and his dark hazel eyes look broodingly at me.
His eyes sparkle when he says, “Good Evening, beautiful Susanna.”
“Hi, Ethan.” He is utterly adorable and absolutely gorgeous, but I always feel awkward in his presence even if we have known each other for eons. I know he likes me, but he has a new girlfriend almost every week, mortal or immortal, makes no difference to him. I am looking for a lasting relationship, not something fleeting. I want to experience that feeling of unconditional love, a feeling I have searched for it seems forever. If I had a romance with Ethan, he would get bored with me too quickly and there are those little things that irritate me, things I would not be able to live with for the rest of forevermore.
“Come in, Ethan. Why are you just standing there?”
He smiles handsomely. “I thought we would be leaving as soon as I get here.”
I sigh exasperated. “You know Shayne. He has these little habits and rituals. Just come in, don’t just stand there.”
He walks past me as I stand aside.
I turn and close the door behind us. I walk into the house behind Ethan and I turn to him by the stairs. “Amanda and Shayne will be here now.” I point toward the lounge. “You can go and sit down so long.”
I walk up the stairs toward my room. I usually wait in my room, while the ‘grown-ups’ have an alcoholic beverage before we leave. I put a CD into my stereo, and sitting on my bed, I page through a magazine.
My door opens softly and I turn toward it. The words, “I am coming,” freeze on my lips, when I see Ethan walking toward me.
He smiles at me and although I honestly do not want it to affect me, it does. Smiling seductively, he comes to a stop in front of me and he holds his hand out toward me.
I
take his hand while looking up at him and he pulls me up from the bed gently. Once I am standing in front of him, he does not move away. He drops his head closer to mine and with lightening speed, his hand is holding my head closer to his. He softly lets his lips glide over mine.
Holding his lips close to mine, he asks softly, “When will you be mine?”
I pull away from him, frowning. “Never.”
He laughs softly. “Why never?”
I turn away from him dismissively and walk toward my cupboard to get my trench coat.
Staring after me thoughtfully, he asks, “Are you ready?”
I smile friendly, although I do not feel it. “I am coming. Do I have a choice?”
We walk out to the car together and Ethan sits with me in the back of Shayne’s car. We drive past Carmine’s house and I see the party that was supposed to have been at Andrew’s house is now at her house. I see all the kids, my age in appearance, and I feel despondent that I could not join them after all. However, I feel the demon rise in me when I look at them and I can imagine sinking my teeth into their soft, young skins, so I look away.
As if Ethan can hear my thoughts, he folds his hand over mine on my leg. He squeezes my hand softly. I look toward him sideways and a soft smile is playing on his lips. He whispers, “I do not know why you waste your time with them.” His eyes look over my shoulder toward the group of teens standing on the pavement.
“They make me feel normal,” I reply defensively.
“But you aren’t normal, are you?”
“You don’t need to remind me.”
“Why do you have this need to feel normal? You are so much better than them.”
The Vampire Pirate's Daughter Page 3