I do not want to tell him how I feel. It had nothing to do with him. I did not want to blurt out how I wanted to be like them. I wanted to grow old and move on, not forever stuck in one particular place, frozen forever in this body.
I sigh and look out the window up toward the night sky.
Ethan whispers in my hair, “Don’t be so sad, beautiful Susanna.” He lightly kisses me on the top of my head.
I notice the night getting darker as we drive away from the suburbs and the city, and then not long after, shacks surround us. Little squares made from anything and everything in an attempt to keep the rain and wind out.
You can feel the despair and hopelessness in the air and suddenly I do not want to do it. These people already have such a crappy time of just finding something to eat, how could we come here and feed off them, besides I suddenly realize something important. I ask Shayne as he brings the car to a stop, “What about AIDS? Have you considered it?”
Shayne laughs cruelly, “What do you suppose AIDS will do to you, Susie?”
Amanda confirms, “Blood is blood.”
Still I am reluctant. “These people hardly ever eat. They would not fill us – at all!”
I can feel Ethan shake as he laughs and I turn toward him abruptly. “What?”
“You are just like your father, William. He was also always worried about people and humanity. These people will be grateful to die when they no longer have to live in this total poverty and misery. Trust me.”
Amanda, Shayne and Ethan open their doors, while I say, “I’ll stay here to look after the car. It might get stolen.”
Amanda says adamantly, “Susanna, get out now. You cannot go to school on Monday if you do not feed tonight.”
“I’ll find something else.”
“You will put us all in jeopardy. Get out of the car now. Shayne will keep an eye on it.”
Reluctantly I get out of the car and slam the door. We do not need to do this silently, because nobody would be able to outrun us anyway.
We walk in between the cardboard and corrugated iron houses next to each other. Four formidable figures walking side by side. I hear babies crying all around me, the night sounds of the squatter camps. I see rats scurry ahead of us and some of the rats are as large as small dogs. I jump over the sewage overflow puddles in the pathway, reluctant to touch the foul, dark water. There is no moon, so it is dark and the orange hue from the high-mast light does not really provide any proper lighting. We walk further into the sad, hopelessness and at times, we have to turn sideways and walk one at a time between the shacks. In one of the houses, we notice the flicker of a candle and Shayne stops. He looks for somewhere to knock, but then he just pounds against the flimsy corrugated iron door. Quickly the light from the candle goes out, but nobody comes to the door. Shayne pulls the flimsy door off the little home, while I still stand back and look around me. It happens so fast that there is no screaming for help. The family of eight slept in a row on the ground, all of them in this little box. There is no toilet, no kitchen and no furniture. The old man who was still awake look at Shayne, his eyes as big as saucers, but it is over for him quickly.
When I smell the irony, sweet smell of rich, burgundy blood in the air, I cannot control myself and against my resolve, I join them. I drink in a mad frenzy. There is no stopping me. I sink my razor sharp teeth into their soft necks. I feel the way their skin fold around my tongue as I suck the blood into my mouth. I feel the blood, thick and warm slide down into my throat and then my entire body joins in. My every sense tingles and I drink and drink until I am so full, my eyes want to close from contentment.
Ethan finds me draped over an old woman. Her body is withered, not a drop in her anymore. I wish I could turn her inside out and lick the sides clean. Ethan touches me on my shoulder and I am back. The mad raging overpowering feeling leaves me just as suddenly as it became a part of me.
I stand up and remorse fills me immediately when I look down at the lifeless body of the woman, but I convince myself that I honestly had no choice. I was born this way.
Ethan takes me in his arms gently, but I push away from him and determinedly I say, “No.”
He moves away from me and I can see the angry humiliation in his eyes. He says firmly, “One day, you will give in.”
I turn away from him and walk toward the car. We leave the bodies as they are. Nobody will ever find us and we do not even leave any DNA behind. If anyone ever bothered to investigate, they would be baffled, because we must have an infinite number of DNA belonging to many other people coursing through our veins.
The car is silent when we drive home and when we drive past Carmine’s house again everything is dark.
I did not realize how long that took. It is almost dawn.
Chapter Six
At school, I avoid Andrew completely. I still spend time with Carmine, but when Andrew approaches us, I turn around and walk away.
A week later, Carmine insists that I go with them to the dam. I tell her I will meet her there and while I get dressed, I keep debating with myself whether I should just stay away. It is not as if she will miss me.
Amanda eventually convinces me to go and I drive past the mall, across the bridge and down the hill toward the dam. When I drive over the little hill, I can see the water of the dam shimmer through the trees. The sun dances on the water and it looks peacefully surrounded by a nature reserve.
Nostalgia intrudes my mind. If it were not for all those vampires sacrificing themselves all those many years ago, I would now be huddled in a corner somewhere, too afraid to walk out into the sun. I remember listening to the stories about the vampires, now regarded as heroes, who gave up their lives so that all the other vampires could live as normal human beings, without having to hide away from civilization. If I forgot even one day to take my pill, amusingly referred to as vitamins and I walked out into the sun, I would disperse in the wind.
I remember Shayne telling me what happened to my real father. He saved my mother from a burning house, the château I grew up in, after the man I always thought of as my father tried to kill my mother. William, my biological father jumped out of the window with my mother in his arms. Moments later and he would have been okay, but the sun was still hovering on the horizon. When the rays touched his skin, he scattered in the breeze. He was gone, just like that.
I shiver involuntarily.
Driving slowly along the dirt road into the dam area, I see my classmates ahead of me. I slow down even further and then I pull into a vacant parking spot. I pick up my straw hat and beach bag on the seat next to me and I get out of the car.
Carmine notices me immediately and she rushes toward me. She is like a toddler with too much energy and I grit my teeth. I reprimand myself to enjoy myself and to fit in. Immersed in their lives, and although so predictable, it amuses me and breaks the continuous monotony. I have done perky, I have done cheerleader, I have been Goth many times, I have been the nerd, the science genius, name it and I have played the role. Now, with this group I want to fall in love. I want to experience that feeling of falling, to put my trust, as limited as it may be, into another person. In addition, I have this unexplained yearning toward Andrew. I often wonder how it would feel if he touched me softly or how it would feel to kiss him.
Carmine reaches me. Her golden, blonde curls bouncing all over her head. “Susie, I am glad you decided to come after all.”
I smile friendly and feeling the sun on my shoulders, I think I actually feel happy. “It is such a nice day and I could not stay indoors or just go the mall,” I answer.
She takes me by the hand. “Come.” She pulls me toward the group of people. I immediately notice Andrew standing across from me, but when he looks at me, a frown creases his brow. The rest of the group greets me friendly.
I look around for somewhere to put my bag and I notice a blanket spread out on the ground a distance away. I turn away from the group and walk toward the blanket. When I reach the blanket and the grouping of bags on the grou
nd, I bend down and I put my bag on the ground as well.
Carmine calls, “If you have your swimming costume on, take off your clothes. We are going swimming.”
I hesitantly pull my shirt over my head and then bending down I slide my shorts down my legs. I fold my clothes and then leave it in a pile next to my bag.
I wrap a towel around my waist and walk back toward the group. I see the boys looking at me appreciatively, but regretfully Andrew ignores me. Already when I think of Andrew, I feel agony.
Carmine holds onto my hand and then yanking at my hand, she starts running toward the water. I run with her, dropping my towel and I start to feel a slight inkling of being mortal, to live for the moment and make it count. This is one of the main reasons I surround myself with humans, because I can imagine their mortality and for a brief moment, I can experience it.
The water splashes up and over us as we run into the shallow water, deeper into the darker water.
I fall down onto my back purposefully and feel the cold water immerse me. I come up and the water drips from my face.
Duncan swims toward me. I have noticed him a few times before in class. He has his fawn colored hair clipped short all over his head, he has steel-blue eyes and he is extremely muscular. He leaps toward me and with his one arm around my shoulders and his other hand on my head he tries to submerge me under the water.
I do not resist. I would not want to start a rumor regarding my strength. I pretend to fight back and then I let my head sink under the water. He lets me go and I come up laughing.
I see Andrew glance toward me. I know I have a serious crush on him, according to movies and music videos, but I wish that where he was concerned I did not have tunnel vision, looking for approval from him in everything I do.
Duncan asks, “How well do you swim?”
I smile. “Well enough. You want to challenge me?”
He laughs boisterously. “You up for it?”
Enquiringly I ask, “To the other side?”
He frowns. “You crazy?”
I notice that it is a great distance, so I retaliate, “Chicken!”
“Let’s race toward that rubber boat over there.” He points his finger a short distance away.
Laughing I dive down. When I come up swimming freestyle, I hear him yell, “Cheating!”
I hear him splash behind me and I pace myself. I only needed to win by a stroke. I was not going to let him beat me.
I touch the rubber boat just before he does. He exclaims breathlessly, “You cheated.”
Pretending to be sorry, I say, “Sorry. I am a girl and you have to give me a head start anyway. That is how it works. isn’t it?”
He replies indignant, “Maybe in the fifties.”
He hauls himself over the side of the rubber boat and then he extends his hand toward me. “I’ll row us back to shore,” he offers.
“Let’s swim back.”
He looks back toward the shore and then back at me.
I convince him, “It does not have to be a race. We can float back.”
He contemplates for a moment and then he dives back into the water. The water splashes into my face and I turn away from him. I feel his hands around my waist as he comes up. I turn my face around to face him and he smiles at me brazenly. I move away from him, laughing. I kick water up into his face playfully and then I start swimming away from him, toward the shore.
He follows me and I hear him call after me to wait for him.
I slow down and turn onto my back. I lay there floating, drifting on the water and I wait for him to reach me. When he catches up with me, we slowly drift toward the shore.
When we are shallow enough to stand up, we wade out of the water, and he asks me casually, “Do you have a boyfriend?”
I smile, fleetingly remembering a time when decorum was everything, and now boys, some boys, did not hesitate to come straight to the point. I did not want to complicate things with him, so I say, “Yes, I do.”
I turn toward him, and ask him, because I do not want him to feel awkward, “Do you have a girlfriend?”
He answers, smiling shrewd, “Not yet.”
We walk toward Carmine and she is arguing with Andrew. When Andrew sees us coming, he turns away from Carmine and moves toward the fire Lionel is building in the barbeque area.
Carmine turns to look at us. I instinctively know that she likes Duncan by the way she looks at him accusingly.
She smiles at me though and then Duncan walks toward her. He wraps his arms around her waist and he hugs her tightly to him. “Oh, Carmine. How I have missed you.”
She pushes him away and says adamantly, “Leave me, Duncan. You are such an ass.”
Laughing he lets her go and then he follows Andrew.
I soon hear them talking about rugby. Carmine suggests we go back into the water, but I decline and I tell her I would rather lie down on the blanket for a while. I add jokingly, without thinking, that the race against Duncan had exhausted me. I notice immediately the pained expression on her face. I want to reach to her and explain that where I am concerned she does not have to worry. I have no inclination to encourage Duncan. I am just about to say something, when Jessica walks toward us and says, “Carmine we are going for a walk. Do you wanna come?”
Carmine looks at me expectantly, but I smile and reiterate, “I am going to stay.”
Duncan comes walking toward us and says, “Come on you two, let’s go. You need to walk off all that meat we are going to be eating soon. Lionel and Andrew are going to stay and man the fire.”
I say, “Not me, thanks.”
Carmine smiles thankfully.
I look at them as they walk away. Although I predict that Carmine could become a pain with all her exuberance, she is a nice person and I would not mind being a friend of hers. We could never be close friends, because sooner rather than later, she would outgrow me and move on.
I walk toward the blanket and I lie down on my back. I close my eyes against the glaring sun and let it soak uselessly into me. I sigh deeply, thinking of the meat I will be eating soon and I wonder how rare I could get away with.
I feel a shadow fall over me and then I sense someone lay down next to me. I grimace, thinking it is Duncan. I open my eyes, squinting against the sun, bringing my hand up to shade my eyes and I look into the face of Andrew, close to mine. He is lying on his stomach, resting on his elbows. I see his dark brooding eyes and I realize desponded no matter what I said or ever did, he would never really know the effect he has on me.
Softly he says, “I wanted to talk to you, if that’s okay?”
“Ya, sure.” I want to sit up, but decide to stay where I am. Later I could fantasize and imagine that he leaned down and kissed me as if he loved me.
He asks, “You never came the other afternoon to work on the project. I wanted to apologize for attacking you in class that day.”
“I am sorry I got you in so much trouble. I did not presume to know everything and I do not have the answers to all your country’s problems, but...”
He interrupts me, “I said I was sorry and you do not have to explain yourself. Besides, I have something else I need to ask you.” He looks down at me and then he smiles mischievously. “I have been thinking and I cannot understand how you caught that glass so fast the other day at the café?”
I close my eyes for a moment and without thinking I say, “Reflex?”
He smiles brilliantly, unbelieving. “Your reflexes are very good!”
I laugh, despite my apprehension. “When you are clumsy, it is good to be quick.”
“It sure is.” He looks down at me pensively. “I see Duncan likes you.”
I do not know if it is a statement or a question, so I reply, “I don’t know, does he?”
“You must be a goose not to notice the way he was carrying on this morning.”
“But, Carmine likes him though?”
He frowns. “She sure does and she always falls for his charms. She is an idiot to be
so fallen for him.”
I do not want to ask, but I have to know, “Is this like a love triangle? Carmine likes Duncan, but you like Carmine.”
Amused he says, “No, there is no love triangle. Carmine and I have known each other since grade school. Her parents adopted me when I was little.”
I look at him confused. “I did not realize. She always says your house or her house?”
“Habit, because we have always pretended to only be friends, although everyone who knows us, obviously do know. When we were in grade school, she did not want her friends to know that she knew me. I was skinny and emancipated back then and she had a reputation to uphold. From there it became habit, so sometimes even when I talk to her, I would say my house and your house.”
I look at his arms and muse that he is most certainly not skinny and emancipated any more. The muscles on his upper arms are well defined.
“So, the principle is also her dad then?”
A shadow falls over his face, when he replies, “Ya, actually only her dad - remember. He only tolerates me. My adoptive mother is great though, she treats me no different than she does Carmine.” He sits up abruptly. “Jeez. I am telling you my entire life story.” He looks at me puzzled.
I sit up as well. “Is that so bad?”
He starts to get up and suddenly I do not want him to leave. I want to know the reasons why he is the way he is, what makes him whom he is. I put my hand on his forearm gently.
He looks at me and smiling slowly, he continues standing up. “I have to see if Lionel needs a hand. Don’t go away.”
I lie down again and I turn onto my stomach. The shadows are stretching and becoming longer, reaching toward my little island in the sun. I lean on my elbows and rest my chin into my palms.
Looking at Andrew from the corner of my eye, I once again see his dark, short hair. His lean, muscular back is turned toward me, so I cannot see his broodingly dark eyes. He is very tall, I would say a head taller than I am and he has the most amazing smile. I consider what I had just heard, that Andrew is an orphan, just like me. What are the odds? It is weird that moments ago he was here next to me, softly smiling and talking as if he has always known me. Sharing himself with me until he realized he was.
The Vampire Pirate's Daughter Page 4