Luke Adams Boxset 1

by Dawson, H A

  ‘Your need for revenge?’

  ‘I’m . . .’ Michelle hesitated. She had to be careful ‘. . . I’m not out for revenge.’

  ‘Have it your way. I must push on. Just remember. If something happens to me it will affect Brittany to . . . and countless others.’

  Then the ring tone sounded. She cradled the phone in her palm and stared at the calendar as Jerry O’Riordan’s suggestion of next week echoed. She was going to have to act fast, and reached for the pen and encircled a date a few days hence.

  The high-pitched cries of youthful exuberant voices carried Michelle to a place of serenity and to a place in her past, when Brittany was healthy and racing through the playground, eager to try the swings, the slide and the roundabout.

  ‘Mummy,’ Brittany had said, ‘see how high I am? Look. See?’

  She had always wanted to be better than the other children, and would watch her neighbour, urging her legs to kick harder, more forcefully and craving the extra lift. Her pony-tailed hair had risen then fallen as she projected herself skyward and dropped back, and her eyes had gleamed. It had been one of her favourite activities, and they had visited almost daily.

  With a smile etched onto her face, Michelle looked beyond the blond-haired boy with the short trousers, and to a chubby girl with plats who was stomping her feet in a disobedient refusal to comply with an instruction. It was a battle of wills with both mother and daughter displaying equal anger and resistance, but in the end, the woman, who had a lot of weight behind her, grabbed her daughter’s arm and yanked her away from the slide. The girl screamed and heads turned.

  Brittany had often created a scene, embarrassing her in public. Her daughter’s wilful defiance had caused Michelle’s patience to be tested, and her fury had bubbled beneath her skin. ‘I hate you,’ had been one of Brittany’s favourite phrases, and for a while, Michelle feared it to be true. Often, her darling little girl had sat in a stubborn silence and refused to participate in activities, but then, when her father returned home, she was chirpy and animated. Michelle had feared their relationship would never get back on track, but with the onset of end-stage kidney failure, it had. Once again, Brittany needed her mother and they grew closer.

  The chubby woman and daughter were still arguing across the park, and their screeches attracting ever more attention. Yet rather than joining in with the concerned and dismayed glances, Michelle smiled. She would have that time back again in an instant.

  They had gotten over their difficulties back then, and maybe they could again. However, time was running out. Michelle thought of the mark she had made on the calendar and her heart ached. Then she thought of her plan and her need for Jerry O’Riordan’s help, and her ache deepened even more.

  Her doubts surrounded her - pummelling her, battering her, and questioning the strength of her desire. In amongst, were Brittany’s angry cries, projected from her tear-stricken face. She wanted answers, wanted to know the depth of her love. It was something Michelle too had asked herself. But no more. At last, she had a definite answer.

  She raised herself to her feet, pushed her hands into her jacket pockets, and strolled away from the playground. She was going to prove it. One way or another, Michelle was going to leave no doubt in Brittany’s mind the extent of her love.

  She looked to the milky sky and the obscured patches of hazy blue, and ambled out of the park and down the road, absorbing the beauty of her freedom. Cars hurried away from the traffic lights, a cyclist wearing skins and with sweat dripping from his brow pressed hard on the pedals, and children scurried down a back alley, chatting and screaming.

  Unlike in prison, she could do whatever she liked. No one cared if she did not eat for days; no one cared if she did not sleep. She was free, and tonight, as the light dwindled and people returned to their houses, she would wander the streets searching for memories.

  Her foot started to ache. She stopped upon a bridge, slipped her foot from her flat shoe, and wriggled it. Her bunion was red and throbbing. After a few moments enjoying the soothing freedom, she gritted her teeth, placed it back inside, and continued into the town centre.

  The streetlights provided her with illumination and guided her to the shops. Some of the window displays were lit, others shrouded in darkness, and some had metal shutters over the glass. She ambled by a department store, a games shop, and a card shop, and paused at a second hand bookstore. It had been Brittany’s favourite store, and she would spend ages perusing the titles, hoping that something new had arrived that would satisfy her needs. Michelle wondered if she still visited. Her lack of knowledge caused an ache to intensify.

  It was eerie in the darkness, with neither the shoppers nor the clubbers detectable in huge quantities, and it caused her to shudder. She stuffed her hands in her pockets and progressed up a hill. Upon her right was a monument and next to it a bench. She had sat there with Brittany once, and they had munched on chips. It had been a rare treat, a break from a healthy diet.

  Next, was a men’s clothing shop. A long time ago Michelle had looked inside, searching for something appropriate for Gavin’s birthday, and fingered the shirts, jumpers and trousers. Brittany had complained endlessly. ‘It’s boring,’ she had repeated, and showing no patience or tolerance, stood at her rear, her shoulders slumped, her head low. They had been family back then. If only . . .

  A slight sound at her rear caused her to spin around. A man in a leather jacket strolled in her general direction, but he paid her no special attention. There was no one else there. However, something told her she was not alone, and with her senses heightened, Michelle made frantic steps forward.

  She turned right at the top of the hill and headed towards a main road. She was still in a pedestrian precinct and there was nowhere to hide, nowhere to go, and she urged herself onward. Wincing as pain from her bunion extended up her leg, her movements slowed.

  Footsteps sounded and her panic increased. She increased her stride, ignoring the penetrating pain, and peered over her shoulder. Startled by a sudden presence, she screeched.

  A hooded man grabbed hold of her. His face was unshaven, his eyes were dark and feral, and his eyelashes prominent. He was hiding something in his sleeve. A knife?

  Michelle raised her knee to his groin and thrust her arm and body weight into him. He held his ground, raising his knee for protection and used his bigger, stronger physique to maintain his stability. He grabbed her arm, squeezing tight. She yelped.

  A knife plunged towards her. She tussled. She ducked and weaved. She pulled herself free and ran.

  ‘Stop your prying,’ the man yelled, ‘or next time you won’t be so lucky.’

  She bolted around a corner and saw a row of large dustbins, and satisfied he wasn’t following her, she slumped to the ground. Her pulse was racing, her breathing shallow and fast. She held her hand tight over her bleeding middle and begged the searing pain to stop.

  Blood seeped to her hand, spreading across her flimsy jacket. Her face creased. She released a plaintive moan.

  Chapter 24

  Luke shifted sideways onto the seat, rested his arm on the radiator, and followed Crystal’s unhurried movements around the kitchen. She had a relaxed manner about her, and almost seemed to move in slow motion, as she reached for the margarine, the jam and the cereal, and placed them onto the kitchen table.

  ‘Anything I can do?’ he asked.

  ‘No.’ Crystal’s eyes shimmered. ‘Are you sure you don’t fancy anything else?’

  ‘No thanks. This is enough.’

  The toast popped up. She placed it onto a plate and put more sliced bread into the toaster and leaned into the unit. ‘It’s nice having someone around for a change. It can get a bit lonely on your own.’

  ‘I agree. I’m glad you called. I needed the distraction.’

  ‘Work problems?’

  ‘Kind of,’ he said, averting his gaze.

  ‘You do know you can tell me things, don’t you?’

  Luke nodded.


  ‘It’s just that you seemed a bit distracted last night. More so than usual.’

  ‘Was I? I was probably just tired.’

  ‘You’re a lovely man Luke,’ Crystal said, ‘but I get the feeling we’re not on the same page. I want you to be honest with me. I know it’s a bit soon, but . . .’ she looked up, her jaw tight with nerves and her eyes wandering, ‘. . . am I wasting my time?’

  ‘No. Of course not. What makes you say that?’

  She shook her head and reached for a sip of coffee, hiding behind the mug. Her earlier confidence had vanished and her coolness evaporated, and he could sense her anxieties thickening the air.

  ‘I enjoy spending time with you,’ Luke said. ‘We have fun, don’t we?’

  Crystal nodded, but it wasn’t at all convincing and he sensed she wanted him to elaborate. But what else could he say? They were good together, but she wasn’t Sarah.

  ‘Is there someone else?’ she asked.

  Luke looked away.

  ‘Please tell me. I have to know.’

  ‘I saw my ex recently, and it’s stirred things up.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘It’s not what you think. I haven’t even spoken to her. I literally just saw her. But it’s made me realise I still have a few things to work through.’

  ‘You still like her?’

  ‘I . . . I don’t know.’

  Her expression collapsed. He had said too much and reached for her hand, resting it in his. ‘It doesn’t change how I feel about you. I love the time we spend together. I’m always happy with you. You’re good for me.’

  ‘But it’s not enough?’

  ‘Like I said, I have things to work through.’

  Crystal freed her hand and spread margarine on her toast.

  ‘You wanted me to be honest,’ Luke continued.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘This doesn’t change anything, does it?’

  Silence.

  ‘Can’t we just enjoy each day we spend together?’

  ‘I don’t know. I’m falling for you Luke. I’m not sure I can carry on seeing you if you don’t feel the same.’

  There was a knock at the door. Crystal’s glazed expression evaporated as she opened the door. A woman was outside. She pushed her young son inside.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ the woman said. ‘I didn’t know you had company.’

  ‘This is Luke.’

  The woman nodded. ‘You couldn’t do me a huge favour, could you? I have to rush Amy to the doctors. Could you take Jake to school for me?’

  ‘What’s wrong with her?’

  ‘She’s been up all night with a temperature, and she’s just been sick. I’m hoping it’s nothing serious, but you can’t take chances with the little ones.’

  ‘Of course not.’

  ‘Thanks sweetie, you’re a gem.’ She kissed her son on the forehead. ‘See you after school.’

  Then she was gone, and the door was thrust shut. The boy seemed a little bewildered, and stood in the doorway with his hands clasped.

  ‘I won’t be a minute and we’ll be off,’ Crystal said. She turned to Luke. ‘Sorry about this.’

  ‘Can we talk later?’

  Her expression clouded and she nodded half-hearted and started clearing away the breakfast things.

  For a moment, Luke held a contemplative star. Then he turned to Jake. ‘Has your sister kept you awake?’

  The boy nodded.

  ‘Was she sick over things?’

  ‘She puked on the bed. There were carrots and sweet corn in it as well. It was disgusting.’

  ‘Yuk. That’s not nice.’

  ‘It stank. Mummy told me to hurry downstairs. I wanted to watch.’

  ‘She might have been sick on you.’

  Jake pulled a face. ‘No she wouldn’t.’

  ‘She might. You wouldn’t want to go to school with carrots in your hair, would you?’

  Jake giggled.

  Crystal ushered Luke to one side as she pulled the tablecloth from the table, folded it, and placed it in a drawer. She would not look at him, and he could sense her disappointment oozing from her pores. And the more he chatted with Jake, the more it seemed to intensify. Nonetheless, the boy was a charming young man, and Luke couldn’t resist. It was also better than standing in an awkward silence.

  After a few more moments, they were guided outside. Crystal hurried Jake into her car and paused on the roadside.

  ‘Can we talk later?’ Luke asked.

  ‘I . . . I don’t know.’

  ‘Please. I don’t want it to end like this.’

  ‘I think you should sort yourself out first.’

  ‘How I feel about Sarah doesn’t change how I feel about you.’

  ‘It does for me.’

  He stood and gawped as she opened the car door and climbed inside. After saying something to Jake, she gave Luke a plaintive glance and eased away, heading along the street to the junction at the main road. He watched until her little blue car disappeared from view.

  A lump in his abdomen grew heavier as he drove to work, growing and developing as he replayed Crystal’s pained expression in his mind. Her announcement that she was falling for him should not have come as a surprise, as their time together had always been enjoyable on many levels, yet it had.

  He had never wanted to see her hurt, and told himself that he had never made her any promises, never fully committed. Perhaps she had read too much into his random calls and regular visits, when really, all he had been doing was using her as a distraction. The less time he had to spend alone, the less time he had to think about Sarah.

  The thought of his ex caused his abdomen to ache and his face to scrunch. Crystal had kept him strong, stopped him from presenting himself at her doorstep and stopped his pitiful and pleading behaviour. How would he cope now? Maybe he should look for someone else to pass time with.

  He eased the vehicle into a spot outside his office premises, switched off the engine, and looked to the illuminated room. Imogen was already there. He locked the car and strode to the door.

  She looked to her watch and grinned. ‘Late again.’

  ‘Sorry boss.’

  ‘Been with Crystal again?’

  ‘None of your business.’ He placed his jacket on a peg and switched on his computer. ‘And my lips are sealed.’

  ‘So . . . something has happened.’ She sat at her desk and clasped her hands. ‘You’ve been to see Sarah.’

  He wanted to say he hadn’t, but he felt his anxieties would betray him and he would say more than he intended, so he held a fixated gaze, staring at the monitor. It was initialising and it seemed to be progressing painfully slowly.

  ‘Well?’ Imogen said.

  ‘I’ve been at Crystal’s. Not that it’s any of your business.’

  ‘You forget, I’m virtually married now. I lead a dull life.’

  ‘So you have to pry into mine.’

  ‘Exactly.’

  He looked up, saw her trustworthy expression and soft, caring demeanour and relented to her demands. ‘I ended it with Crystal.’

  ‘Aw, why? I thought you liked her.’

  ‘It wasn’t working.’

  ‘Do I detect a hint of regret?’

  ‘No.’ He knew he didn’t sound at all convincing, and averted his gaze, avoiding looking to her folded arms and smug expression.

  ‘I’m right, aren’t I?’

  Silence.

  ‘And it’s because of Sarah. I bet she found out.’

  ‘Why would she have found out?’

  Imogen stood up and headed to the kettle, flicking on the switch.

  ‘Did you tell her?’ he asked.

  ‘No, of course not.’

  ‘You did, didn’t you?’

  She spun around. ‘No I didn’t. But it’s not going to take a genius. You’ve been obsessing over her these last few weeks. You’ve probably called her by the wrong name.’

  Luke frowned.

  ‘You have!’ Imogen grinned
. ‘I can hear it now. Oh Sarah, more, more,’ she said, her tone mocking.

  Imogen was giggling and her eyes pressed into his back as Luke headed to the kettle, hiding his flushes, and reached in the cupboard for the coffee and dried milk. He would never confuse them. It was impossible. They were utterly different in every respect.

  He returned to his desk, avoiding the amusement in Imogen’s eyes, and checked through his email in-box. Yet still she persisted, pulling faces and making eyes, until he could resist no more and looked straight at her.

  Imogen’s expression became serious. ‘How did Crystal take it?’

  ‘None of your business.’

  ‘Bad then?’

  Silence.

  ‘Did she end it?’ Imogen asked.

  ‘You’re not going to give up, are you?’

  ‘It doesn’t make sense to me,’ Imogen continued, ‘you’re in love with Crystal, yet you’ve finished with her.’

  He looked to her, puzzled. ‘I’m not in love with her.’

  ‘You so are! Every time you talk about her you go all funny.’

  ‘No I don’t. It was fun while it lasted, that’s all.’

  ‘So what happened? It’s obviously to do with Sarah.’

  Luke rotated a pencil between his fingers. ‘She wanted me to be honest, so I was.’

  ‘What? You said you loved Sarah?’

  ‘Not exactly. And I don’t love her.’

  ‘When a woman says she wants the truth, she doesn’t mean it. You have to tell her you made a mistake.’

  Luke frowned.

  ‘And you have to sort yourself out. For Goodness Sake, go see Sarah.’

  His heart hammered and his hands shook. He had been waiting to hear that for such a long time and could hardly believe his ears. It was the push he needed and vowed to go after work. In the meantime, he had to concentrate and looked to his schedule. His appointment with Lisa Cole was drawing closer.

  Water sprayed from the puddles, and fine raindrops misted the windscreen as he thrust the car into first gear and eased away from the junction. It was grey and murky, and there was a chill in the air. It was not a pleasant day for driving, but the company was good.