[Desert Roses 02] - Across the Years

by Tracie Peterson

  “I think she likes you,” E. J. teased. “I think that’s the reason she allowed the trip.”

  “Well, she liked me before and we never let Mr. Morgan take us to the meteor crater.” With that, she turned to go. “I have to get home. My grandma is coming today. I’ve never met her, but I sure hope she’s nice.”

  E. J. waved good-bye. “I hope she is too, Natalie.” It was a sincere wish, but remembering Leticia Murphy, E. J. wasn’t at all encouraged to believe Natalie’s hopes would come true.

  He took the picture with him and made his way to his hotel room. He couldn’t imagine what Ashley must be enduring, seeing her mother for the first time in so very long. He wished he could be there for her—to offer support and to stand ready to defend her against her mother’s meanspirited blows.

  “God, you’re the only one who can intercede in this. Please don’t leave Ashley alone.”

  He smoothed out the drawing on his desk and traced the lines with his index finger. Memories flooded his mind, and before he knew it, E. J. had taken up his own sketch pad. Within a few moments, he’d drawn a rough outline of the house. Standing there, hunched over the picture, E. J. realized how very much he’d missed creating beautiful things. He felt his demons leave him—at least momentarily—as he sketched out more and more detail. Perhaps this had been the answer all along. Maybe in his creativity—his passion for beauty—he could find a way to dispel the darkness in his life.

  “A little light can make itself quite evident in the blackest night,” he murmured.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Ashley watched her mother scrutinize the house as Pastor McGuire carried her luggage upstairs.

  “It’s rather what I expected,” her mother said, sounding very bored.

  Without elaborating on her comment, Leticia turned her sights on Ashley. “I see you haven’t changed much. I understand you have a child. Is she legitimate? Who’s her father?”

  Ashley raged inside at the question of her daughter’s legitimacy. “She’s Ethan’s daughter, of course. I’ve never remarried.”

  “I don’t recall you mentioning that you were with child when I last saw you in Baltimore.”

  Ashley barely held on to her anger. “I don’t recall being given a chance. You were, as I recall, far more focused on getting my marriage annulled than knowing the truth of the situation.”

  “Well, it’s of no matter. No decent man would have you now—especially with a brat.” Leticia lifted her chin and looked left and then right. “This is an awfully small house. I understand from Lavelle that you’re the owner?”

  Ashley looked at Lavelle and then back at her mother. “That’s right.”

  “Humph.”

  “Natalie should be home any minute. I do hope you’ll be kind to her,” Ashley said, trying hard to stand firm without resorting to her mother’s nasty tactics.

  “She’s a darling child, Leticia,” Lavelle interjected. “You’ll be pleased to have her as a granddaughter.” She stood close to Ashley.

  Ashley narrowed her eyes, watching her mother’s every change of expression. It was rather like watching a rattlesnake prepare to strike. What would the woman do next? Where would she attack?

  “Where is my father?” Leticia asked, surprising Ashley.

  “His room is at the end of the hall. But before you visit him, I want you to understand something.” Ashley bolstered her courage. “Grandpa has advanced liver cancer. He’s in a tremendous amount of pain. You were notified to come at his request.” She hoped her mother understood the implication that she had not been brought here because of Ashley’s desire. “He cannot be up and about. He doesn’t eat, and he has been given pain medication, though he often refuses to take it because he desires to think in a clearheaded manner.

  “It’s Grandpa’s desire to put the past behind us. I’m willing to at least give pretense to that, for his sake,” Ashley said, her voice unemotional. “I would like to know your intentions toward that matter.”

  Leticia looked at her daughter as if she’d suddenly grown horns. “I don’t think that merits an answer. You are my child. I do not answer to you.”

  Ashley stepped between her mother and the hall leading to her grandfather’s room. “Until I understand if you mean to cause him more pain and suffering than he’s already enduring, you are not going to be allowed to visit with him.”

  “Of all the stupid, disrespectful—”

  “I agree with her, Letty,” Lavelle said. “Father is in no condition for one of your scenes. He has no money—no possessions—nothing monetary to advance your position whatsoever. If you’re here for that, you might as well turn around and head back to Baltimore.”

  Ashley watched her mother’s face contort. Her eyes blazed with anger and hatred. “Do not make me seek help from other sources in dealing with you two. As I told Lavelle, I have more money and power than either of you could ever hope to know. I will do what I have to in order to ensure that things are properly handled.”

  “Grandpa has already turned matters over to his lawyer, Simon Watson. If you have questions regarding the business of Grandfather’s estate, then you will talk to him and not to Grandpa. That is how it will be,” Ashley replied sternly. “Otherwise, I’ll have you removed from this house—my house.”

  The battle lines were drawn.

  “Mama, I’m home!” Natalie declared, coming through the front door.

  Leticia turned, apparently startled at the sound of the child’s voice. Ashley watched as she studied Natalie’s pixielike face. She was such a delicate and tiny child, and for a moment Ashley wanted to rush between her mother and Natalie to protect her from whatever vile things Leticia Murphy might say.

  “She looks just like you,” Leticia commented, appearing not to realize her own words.

  “Are you my grandma Murphy?” Natalie questioned.

  Ashley didn’t wait for her mother to comment. “Yes, Natalie. This is my mother—your grandmother.”

  Natalie smiled sweetly. “I’m sure glad you came to visit us, Grandma.”

  Leticia eyed her suspiciously, then lifted her chin. “Call me Grandmother.”

  Natalie frowned but only momentarily. “All right. Grandmother.”

  “I suppose you’ve had your head filled with all manner of evil when it comes to me and the rest of the family.”

  Natalie’s expression changed to complete confusion. She looked to Ashley as if for an answer. Ashley’s heart swelled with pride for her child. She went to stand beside Natalie and gently embraced her.

  “I’ve always stood by the conviction that if you couldn’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all. I’ve actually told Natalie very little about my family.” Ashley knew she shouldn’t speak thusly in front of Natalie, but her feelings were still smarting from the earlier exchange of words.

  “She’s terribly small,” Leticia said, returning her attention to Natalie. “Is she sickly?”

  “Not at all,” Ashley said.

  Lavelle laughed at this and agreed. “She has the energy of ten children her age. I’ve never seen anyone so in love with life.”

  Natalie beamed a smile in Lavelle’s direction, then turned her attention back to her grandmother. “I have a pony. Her name is Penny. Would you like to meet her?”

  Leticia looked rather horrified. “I should say not. I’ve no time for ponies.”

  “Your grandmother needs to be with Great-Grandpa,” Ashley said, squeezing her daughter’s shoulders. “Remember, I told you she would probably have very little time for us. Grandpa hasn’t long, and we want her to spend as much time with him as possible.”

  Natalie nodded somberly. “I remember.”

  “Why don’t you go change your clothes and then take care of Penny? Maybe later at dinner, you and Grandmother can talk some more.”

  “Sure, Mama.” Natalie darted off for the stairs without another word.

  Ashley waited for her mother’s painful comments. She didn’t have l
ong to wait.

  “She doesn’t look old enough to be the child of that Reynolds man.”

  “Well, she is,” Ashley stated flatly. “I left Baltimore and went to live with Grandpa in Los Angeles and moved here shortly before Natalie was born. We’ve had a good life here, and the folks who know us love and adore Natalie. I don’t intend to see you hurt her.” Ashley hadn’t meant to let the latter statement slip out, but now that it had, she intended to stand her ground.

  “I’m going to check on Father,” Lavelle said, looking as if she wanted Ashley and her mother to have a moment alone. She hurried down the hall.

  “I know you don’t want to be here. Just as I don’t want you here,” Ashley said flatly. Honesty, blatant and brutal, seemed to be the only way to deal with her mother. “I had hoped your attitude would have changed, but I realized even in your telegram that you had your own ideas to come here and take over. That’s not at all how things will be. Grandpa, Natalie, and I have lived very comfortably these last years. I won’t allow you to turn our order into chaos. Do you understand me?”

  Leticia seemed taken aback but not enough to keep from commenting. “You are still the same stubborn, headstrong child you’ve always been. You dug your own grave eleven years ago, but you’ll not dig one for my father as well. I will take charge of his estate.”

  “No, you won’t.”

  Leticia’s eyes narrowed. “You can’t hope to win against me.”

  Ashley thought of something Grandpa had once told her. Something about all things being possible with God. Was that true? Could she count on God to help her if she called upon Him? God, if you’re listening, I guess I need help now.

  “I don’t intend to stand by,” her mother continued, “and see you take from me that which is rightfully mine.”

  Ashley shook her head. “There is nothing here that belongs to you. The house and its contents are mine. Grandpa settled his affairs some time back. He’s arranged his own funeral here, with his body afterward being shipped for burial beside Grandma in Los Angeles. His lawyer has the details of his will. His pastor has a finalized eulogy. You may discuss this with either of them, but I will not argue it with you any further.”

  Ashley turned to go, but her mother seemed determined to have the last word. “You might notice,” her mother began, “that your father is not here. That’s because he’s dead.”

  Ashley turned back around and drew her hands together. “I’m sorry to hear that.” The statement shocked her, but she’d not allow her mother to see her weakened or made vulnerable by this news.

  “You should be. You’re the one who killed him. He never got over what you did. He died three years ago, his heart still broken at your disappearance.”

  Ashley saw her mother’s face. She seemed delighted—almost expectant. It was almost as if she thrived on the telling of bad news. Shaking her head, Ashley replied, “I won’t accept any blame in his death, Mother. If there is someone to blame, you might consider yourself. Your negative temperament and bitterness would be enough to kill anyone living close to you.”

  With that, Ashley went quickly to the kitchen and out the back door. She heard her mother’s gasp of surprise but didn’t care. The news of her father’s death had been a shock, but nothing that she couldn’t bear. Everyone died, she reminded herself. Ethan, Grandpa, and now her father. Everyone died.

  ****

  That evening, after a most uncomfortable dinner, Ashley took up her week’s worth of mending and sat down to relax in the living room. She’d laid logs in the fireplace earlier and now a fire roared in welcome from the hearth. She loved quiet evenings like this, and usually Grandpa was with her. Now there’d never be any more nights with Grandpa telling stories from his boyhood. There’d never be moments of Natalie stretched out before the fire, watching as Grandpa spoke in his animated way, her eyes wide with the wonder of his memories.

  Even her mother’s animosity couldn’t ruin the memories of those times for Ashley. She smiled and picked up her needle and thread. With Natalie and Lavelle taking an evening stroll and her mother visiting with Grandpa, Ashley had a few moments alone to contemplate the day’s events.

  Her mother hadn’t changed, nor had Ashley expected she would have. Ashley wanted very much to ask about her brothers and if they’d married or had families, but she couldn’t yet bring herself to even attempt the questions. Somehow, she knew her mother would use it against her. She could detect weakness in Ashley through her curiosity . . . and even her caring.

  Ashley loved her brothers and had always wished to have maintained communication with them. She’d been their darling little sister, much as Natalie was a darling to the people of Winslow. They had doted on her and given her much attention. No doubt her mother had corrupted their feelings toward her. They probably blamed her for their father’s death as well.

  Sighing, Ashley picked up one of Natalie’s blouses and began to mend a tear in the sleeve. The child was always getting a tear here or there. Humming one of the hymns they’d sung at church on Sunday, Ashley felt a bit of contentment wash over her. What were the words to that song? She remembered at least the first line—it was the same as the Scripture quoted by the pastor. “Let not your weary hearts be troubled.”

  Her heart was weary. So weary of the load she’d had to bear alone all these years. It was hard to deal with the way her family had turned away from her . . . to bear Ethan’s death . . . to raise Natalie alone.

  But you were never alone, she chided herself. Grandpa has been here all along. How very ungrateful I am acting. Yes, I wish Ethan would have been here, but he wasn’t and Grandpa was, and I cannot discredit the love of that old man.

  God had made provision. The thought startled her. Grandpa was always telling her this. Always commenting that God had never left her to bear the past or the future alone. Could God truly buffer her from her mother’s harsh and bitter ways?

  Grandpa said the key was in forgiving. Forgiving people even when they didn’t deserve to be forgiven. “It releases you,” he had told her. “It sets you on a journey of freedom, and whether the other person involved desires that same freedom or not, forgiveness has a way of lifting you above the mire that weighs you down on the road of life. If the other person wants to stay back in the mud—you can’t very well force them to leave it.”

  She thought on those words while moving the needle in and out of the blouse. She’d learned so many skills over the last decade. She was nothing like the scared girl she’d been. Was it possible that God truly had been there all along, helping her each step of the way, giving her exactly what she needed—when she needed it? Was this the next thing she needed? Forgiveness?

  “You need to forgive your mother and father,” Grandpa had told her. “They were wrong in the way they treated you, but you were wrong too. You went against them and dishonored them by refusing to obey. True, you were an adult, but you were still under your father’s authority, and you should have sought a different way of resolution.”

  Ashley knew it was true. She’d married Ethan in such a whirlwind—as much from a wish to defy her parents’ plans as from her own emotions and desires. She had taken great pride in putting her parents in their place and asserting her own authority. That attitude had been wrong. She knew that now.

  “He’s asleep,” her mother stated matter-of-factly.

  Ashley had been so deep in thought that she’d not even heard the woman come into the room.

  “Yes, I would imagine so. It’s been a big day for him,” Ashley said softly. “I’m sure it pleased him greatly to have you come.” I can do this, she thought. I can be kind and gentle tempered. I can forgive her for Grandpa’s sake.

  “He said little. He was in a drugged stupor most of the time.”

  “The pain is so great,” Ashley said, looking at her mother’s expression to gauge whether she was really listening. “He doesn’t want to take the morphine, but he needs it. It clouds his thinking, however, and leaves him unable to communic
ate as he would like. You’ll have a better time of it in the morning.”

  Her mother crossed the room and looked out the front window. “It’s really of no matter. It’s obvious the old man is not in his right mind and probably hasn’t been for some time. He mentioned giving you this house. Is that true?”

  Ashley straightened uncomfortably. “Yes. It’s true.”

  “Well, that won’t do. We’ll sell it once he’s gone. The money will be divided between Lavelle and myself.” She turned to Ashley. “The same goes for the household goods. I know you had no money when you came here. You may have purchased things over the years with your waitressing salary, but you could never have afforded to do so had he not provided room and board. Therefore, everything will be sold.”

  “No, Mother, it won’t be,” Ashley said flatly. She looked at her mother, challenging her to contradict her statement.

  “My lawyer will see to it. You’ll have no say in the matter.”

  Ashley went back to her sewing as if to prove to her mother that she was unconcerned. “I’ll leave it in the hands of Mr. Watson, our lawyer. He warned us you might try something like this and he’s already prepared.”

  “Warned you, eh? Probably because he knew of the lack of legal standing.”

  “Mother, you live in wealth and plenty. You have nothing to gain by spending any of your money on this matter. This house wouldn’t bring even a pittance of the price it will cost you to battle for it. As for the furnishings . . . again, they are mostly secondhand or inexpensive pieces we’ve acquired over the years.”

  “I don’t care. I want what is mine.”

  Ashley was quickly losing the ability to control her temper. “You got what was yours and then some many years ago. Grandpa told me all about it.” She looked up to catch her mother’s face contort in anger. “He said emphatically you were to have nothing else.”

  “The nerve of you both! You’ve done nothing but cause me pain and suffering. I received only what I deserved when that old man decided to sell out to religion. He owed me every cent he gave me.”