Dirty Stepbrother

by Alycia Taylor

  My mother was quick to jump in, laughing almost nervously as she turned Shawn’s mother’s attention back to herself. “Sorry. She is just a little loopy…you know, molars.” She shrugged innocently.

  “Yes, I completely understand,” she answered. “This is why I need you to take Shawn as well. He had the same procedure and I just want him to be somewhere safe so that if he needs anything, I will know he is being taken care of.”

  I saw my mother nod, but I could tell that she was holding her tongue. “Of course. We always have room for Shawn.” She smiled at her as though to portray to her that yes, she meant exactly what she thought she meant. She was scolding her for not ever having time for her son, but without using a single word against her.

  “Excellent! Shawn is going to have such a good time…”

  As she looked back at Shawn to tell him the good news my mother shot her a look, with her one eyebrow almost touching the ceiling that explained exactly what she was thinking: Did you even have a conversation with your son the entire time he has been at your house?

  Shawn just shrugged and giggled. “You know what guys? I really want ice cream…”

  “We’ll get some on the way home,” my mother said to him, trying her best not to laugh.

  “Yay! Ice cream!” I parroted, suddenly feeling the urge for it as well. My mouth wasn’t sore. In fact, I really couldn’t feel anything and wondered if I was even going to be able to taste it. Still, even without being pumped with laughing gas, there were very few occasions when I would ever turn down ice cream.

  And whether he was drugged or not, I was getting to have some with the person that I still considered my best friend in the whole wide world; even if he had gotten to a point where he would no longer agree.

  Chapter Four

  Shawn

  “She dumped me, didn’t she?” I remember hearing my voice say just as soon as my biological mother was out of earshot.

  I knew I shouldn’t say anything like that, because I hated the look of pity that my stepmother and stepsister shot me; but in my current state, I couldn’t even begin to focus on the two of them or the way that I was feeling.

  I didn’t like the laughing gas because it made me happy when I should have been freaking out. However, now that I had it coursing through my system, I wasn’t so unhappy with the way things had worked out.

  In a way, I was happy my mother had shoved me back onto my father and his wife. It just showed me the continuity that I had come to expect from my mother. I didn’t really mind it all that much anymore. But still, as I said the words before my brain caught up enough to stop me, I stared between Diana and Valerie, who suddenly seemed far more sobered, before I burst into laughter. “It’s okay…” I threw my arm around Valerie, something I hadn’t done in a really long time. It felt good to feel her familiarity, but thankfully, I didn’t comment on that. All I said was, “I’d rather be with you guys anyway.”

  I felt Valerie smile before she hugged me tightly, as though she had actually missed me. “I’d rather you be with us guys too…”

  I laughed at this and saw Diana roll her eyes. “I feel like you two just reverted back to being five years old.” She smiled between the two of us as though there was something reminiscent about the picture from the past we were painting before her eyes that she was enjoying. Although I was fairly certain she wouldn’t admit that.

  “Does that mean we still get ice cream?” Valerie asked and this time, it was my stepmom who laughed.

  “I am so annoyed right now that you made me promise that I wouldn’t record these precious moments,” Diana answered through her laughs. “It’s something I would love to show Zachary.”

  Even in her sense of stupor she was able to find her voice enough to exclaim, “No!” in an embarrassed fashion.

  “You might have, Diane, but I didn’t promise anyone anything!” I slurred and tried to keep it together long enough so that my words would sink into Valerie’s brain.

  She stopped and stared at me with absolute horror and I doubled over with laughter.

  “I can’t find my phone anyway…” I answered, patting my pants in search of it for only a moment and then giving up when I lost my train of thought.

  “Jerk,” Valerie exclaimed, now slightly angry, even though I was sure that none of the medication had worn off of her yet. I found it funny that she got annoyed at my lack of compassion. I would have really thought that she would be used to it by now. “Why would you even think of doing that to me? You’re so mean!”

  Thankfully, I just burst out laughing, instead of saying the ample amount of true responses that I had floating around my completely gassed and very wired brain. If there was one time that I would have given anything so that my loose tongue did not say anything, it was now. But I was able to keep my secrets to myself.

  As Valerie rolled her eyes, her mother teased us. “Come on, children. Let’s not make a scene.”

  After the close call and the unpredictability of my own words, I was happy to oblige.

  Just like she promised, Diana bought the two of us ice cream and got us set up on the couch and the chair opposite one another, before leaving us with the warning of, “Be nice.”

  Since Diana always kept her promises, I wasn’t sure why I was so surprised.

  By the time we were settled back in the place that I still, no matter what, would consider my home, Valerie had forgotten all about being angry with me. I was happy about that. The last thing I wanted was our day of bliss and probably pity from the parents to be interrupted by a stupid, laughing-gas induced fight.

  Yet, I still wasn’t thinking logically enough to comprehend all of that, so I just wanted to talk. “Hey, Val…” I giggled.

  “What’s up, Shawn?” She leaned her head back on the pillow and pulled her blanket up to her chin.

  “This is just like when we were kids, right? Remember when I got the chicken pox and your mother brought you over so that you would be exposed and we both got the chicken pox? And my dad was freaking out, but your mom was just like, nah…they’re good. At least they’re together.”

  At that, she began to laugh hysterically again, remembering my father completely going off his rocker with worry, for the both of us. “Yeah…But she took good care of us though, just like she is now. She didn’t let anything happen to either of us.”

  “Yeah. She always has, even when she wasn’t my mother…er…stepmother…”

  “Yeah, I know,” she answered. “Remember when you got in trouble for making a waterslide at recess and they couldn’t get ahold of your parents, so they called my mom, figuring it was just as well?”

  I nodded. “She let me have it that day.” I narrowed my eyes. “Oh and are you referring to the waterslide that was your idea?”

  She smiled. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Right, little miss…It’s so hot out here. Why can’t somebody do something about this heat…I know, I wish we had a waterslide!” I said, exaggerating my own girly impression of her.

  “I do not sound like that!”

  I nodded enthusiastically and chuckled. “Of course you do! You just can’t hear yourself.” I raised my eyes pointedly and mockingly. “Which is great news for you, but not so good for the rest of us.”

  She narrowed her eyes and shot me a look that made me extremely glad that I was situated on the other side of the room. “I have a great voice!” she answered indignantly. “Besides, nothing was worse than the sound that came out of you when your voice started to change. It was like a dog killing a parrot.”

  Now it was my turn to narrow my eyes at her as I said in a teasingly offended voice, “I thought we agreed that you were never to bring that up again!”

  She burst out laughing now. “Hey, you’re the one who started to play dirty, I was just catching up.”

  I gave her a playful growl and then my woozy brain began to drift slowly, deeper into a more serious reminisce. “Thank you for always being there for me.
”

  “Of course,” Valerie replied with a genuine smile. “No matter how stupid you’re being, I’m always going to be right there, getting your back whenever I need to and picking you up when you fall down.”

  My tired eyes rolled over toward her and I smiled. “Thanks. You know I never want to lose you, right? Even if I am stupid sometimes.” I giggled and settled down myself, bringing the blanket up around my neck and hoping that I didn’t sleep too hard on my mouth so that it blew up.

  However, I was so tired by that point, I didn’t even hear Valerie’s response.

  When I did wake up, my head felt as though it was filled with lead. I thought about falling asleep again, but I felt eyes watching me. I lulled my head over to one side and saw Valerie sitting up, staring at me.

  The sight of her made me laugh and I rolled over to go back to sleep. After all, it was just Valerie. She could stare at me all she wanted. That didn’t bother me one bit.

  “What’s so funny?” she asked, sounding as though she was trying to speak through a mouth full of rocks.

  “Your face,” I answered and chuckled some more.

  “What? Is it that bad?” She reached into her purse to grab a mirror. She pulled it out and stared at her large cheeks. “It’s not that bad.”

  “Okay, if you think that looking like a starving chipmunk that just discovered an everlasting supply of food is not that bad then you look absolutely beautiful.”

  I could feel the ire steaming off of her now, even though I hadn’t dared to look back at her.

  “Well, let me see you then,” she spat.

  I shrugged, then sighed and made my way, slowly, up into a sitting position. I turned to her and smiled, as her anger disappeared and she started to laugh hysterically. “You should talk,” she finally wheezed, only after she had doubled over. “You look like you got in a fight and lost…badly.”

  I shrugged and answered evenly, “Yeah, well, while your injuries make you look large and slightly more animal-like, my molar pulling experience makes me look tough!”

  “Hardly,” she answered, and the two of us laughed because I knew well that there was likely nothing on the planet that would make me look tough. I was just too goofy. It was a gift, really.

  It was nice to laugh and be able to enjoy the company of one another. It was good to get back one on one with Valerie. There was so much that I missed about being able to just have a conversation with my best friend. Over the past few years, that concept had become increasingly difficult and that was bothersome to me.

  However, not only was I aware that we had our problems, I was also aware that things were the way they were because of me.

  Deep down, I knew that the issues I had with my stepsister really had nothing to do with her, but it was just something that happened.

  Still, even through all the teasing, the pain of my head feeling like it was going to fall over, the dizziness and the discomfort caused by the procedure, I recognized how nice it was to enjoy an afternoon together, just like we used to do every day.

  There was no Zachary to distract Valerie, my father wasn’t there to tell me that I was recovering wrong from getting my molars, because only he could do it the best, and there was no Dalilah demanding my attention. So the two of us were able to enjoy life, the way that we were supposed to: together without any interruptions.

  Chapter Five

  Valerie

  It sounded silly, even to me, but during the time the two of us were having our high little reminisce, heart-to-heart, whatever you wanted to call it, I held out hope that we had made a breakthrough.

  Although I was sure that I would never actually admit it, I knew that I wanted my best friend back. I wanted the Shawn that could tell me anything and the friend that would be there for me no matter what.

  It didn’t matter that the two of us were completely off our rockers that weekend; we had a great time and I missed that. We might not have been quite as random and silly when we were not under the influence of anything, but back when we were best friends, before the decline that took place after the marriage of our parents, there was never a dull moment.

  Having that weekend together reminded me just how much I missed Shawn and wanted him back. Due to the fact that he had decided to pull away, we had assumed a new normal that was nothing like the relationship we used to have.

  Up until a week and a half ago, we had lived under the same roof, but we hardly spoke. He resented me, but I wasn’t quite sure why and so eventually, I went my way, searching for what I was missing from our relationship, and he went his way.

  He found Dalilah…a crazy woman that I detested, but my relationship strengthened with Zachary, so I really couldn’t complain, in that respect.

  Yet, I missed him and that past weekend had really put it into perspective of exactly how much I missed him. I didn’t want to have to go another day…or another minute trying to be away from him. The weekend made me realize how much we had been torn apart and how superficial this new normal was.

  Therefore, the following Monday morning, when I was feeling good enough to get out of my room, I quickly made my way downstairs. I wanted to catch Shawn before he left for school to see if he wanted to talk.

  However, his car was already packed by the time I was ready to go and my mother said that he wanted to leave early to get back to his own mother’s house.

  “So, he isn’t staying?” I realized how desperate my voice sounded, even though I really didn’t care. In truth, I was desperate. I wanted my friend back and I couldn’t imagine him living with a woman who didn’t care for him at all, while I tried to sort this out.

  My mother shook her head sadly. “He’s a teenage boy and Paul is very rough on him. I wish he would lay off, but it seems that the more he pulls away, the harder he tries to push him away.”

  I shrugged and wondered what the difference was. Sure, I was better at school then Shawn, but I had always been better at it. School came easy to me where, unfortunately, it did not come near as easy to Shawn. But he was working on it and therefore, I couldn’t understand why his father would always be so hard on him.

  However, I never said anything, because it wasn’t my place. Staring at my mother now, I really didn’t think it was my place to say anything now either, even though I was fairly certain that whatever I had to say, my mother would agree with.

  Even so, she didn’t give me very much time to answer before she asked, “How are you feeling?”

  I thought for a moment, trying to switch gears. Honestly, I was so concerned with fixing Shawn and my relationship, that I wasn’t even considering my own personal state. “I’m okay, actually…” I said after thinking for a moment. I switched gears again and added, “Do you think that I could still catch him?”

  My mother chuckled. “Well, no…I think he’s pretty long gone. But you’ll see him at school.”

  I groaned and rolled my eyes. “Why does he do this to me?”

  “I don’t know, dear,” she answered, even though I was sure she knew I actually didn’t mean for her to. “He’s going through a rough time right now though and he does need our support.”

  I smiled and nodded, knowing that for as aggravated as I was at the moment, he was feeling far worse about his situation. At least both my mother and stepfather allowed for me to do what I pleased, for the most part. I had witnessed the harshness that Shawn’s father plagued him with and I knew it wasn’t right.

  But my mother had often reminded me that before anything, he was Paul’s son and therefore, he needed to be the one to decide how he should be disciplined.

  Even though my mother was there as an equal parent, I knew that ultimately whatever Paul said went as far as Shawn was concerned, and whatever my mother said went with me. It was an unspoken rule, but one that was securely in place nonetheless and I took care to see that rule was not broken, despite the disproportion that I witnessed.

  After a moment, I decided that I should get to the bus myself. I was sure tha
t Zachary was waiting for me and would be at the door any minute to pick me up, if I was not already walking outside.

  Once upon a time, when Shawn first got his car, which he worked so hard to get, he would take me to school. He would offer nearly every morning, but eventually, we had grown so far apart that he stopped asking. So even if he did occasionally put the idea out there, I would usually decline so that I wasn’t disappointed next time his mood shifted.

  However, as I walked down the driveway, and even after I saw Zachary making his way toward my house, I realized that I had never missed our mornings together more than I did right now.

  I didn’t want a car. For my eighteenth birthday, my mother and stepfather had offered to buy me one, but I had declined. I didn’t think it was fair that I was able to have one free and Shawn had to work hard to get his.

  Yet, after our eventual growing apart, I was beginning to think that I had made a stupid, martyr’s choice. Still, my decision was based on the time when Shawn and I still drove together to school, so I figured that I didn’t need a car.

  It wasn’t just about the ride though, it was the whole experience. It was the idea that technically, we could do anything once we pulled out of that driveway. We could go anywhere and the reason we chose to go to school was because we were good kids.

  Still, that didn’t stop us from being late every now and again to go to breakfast.

  I sighed and shook the recollections out of my mind as I made my way over to Zachary.

  “So, how’s the tooth?” he asked, smiling knowingly as he spoke.

  I shrugged. “Not too bad now, even though it still looks like a bomb went off in my mouth.”

  Zachary squinted and stared at me with a hinged neck. “No. It doesn’t look like a bomb…exactly.” Then, as though he knew he shouldn’t have said that he shook his head. “Wait…No…I’m sorry. That was insensitive…I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry…” He smiled, as though trying to make amends.

  I just snickered while I nudged his shoulder with my arm and shook my head. “It’s all right. I get it. I really do.”