by Wendy Smith
I’m not sure where my hair-tie went last night, and I pop into Grace’s room to see if she has any. There’s a pile of pale pink ones on her bedside cabinet, and I scoop my hair into a ponytail and pat it down.
Her room is so pretty. It’s clear just how much Brad dotes on her. And I’m sure from what I do know of her that Grace had a big role in the lilac color of the walls, and the pink furniture. Can I be what she needs?
Lane had faith that I could be, but she hadn’t seen me in so long. I’m nowhere near as organized as I used to be. When it comes to work, I plan everything to the nth degree, but the rest of my life is a haphazard mess.
I turn and leave, taking a few steps and then pausing when I hear raised voices.
As I grow closer to the hall door, they get louder.
“What are you doing? Amy Hart said she saw you with Molly Beckham. Are you insane?”
I swallow hard.
“Yes, I’ve been spending some time with Molly. What’s wrong with that?”
“Your wife just died. And have you forgotten already that it was Molly who broke your heart? My boy, so broken and hurt, and put back together by Lane. Lane, who loved you. She’s been buried for three weeks, and you’re already running around with someone else.”
I slam my hand over my mouth. If Brad’s own mother thinks this way, what does the rest of the town think? What if someone says something like that to Grace?
Tears roll down my cheeks. I love Brad. I never stopped. But I can’t be a part of his life if my presence drags him down.
“Mom. Please. Lane and I were divorced two years ago.”
“Do you think that matters to Grace?”
I close my eyes. I can’t stand here and listen to this. The walls are closing in. I can’t live Lane’s life.
“Where’s Grace?” Brad asks.
“She’s just outside. I told her I wanted to talk to her daddy before she came inside.”
Taking a deep breath, I wipe the tears from my cheeks with the palm of my hand and step out into the living room. Brad’s mother looks at me, her mouth hanging open. Brad rushes toward me. “Molly, I—”
“It’s okay, Brad. I’ll leave you to speak with your mother.”
His eyes search mine. “I don’t want you to go.”
“I think I should. I’ll talk to you later.” Picking up my bag from the couch, I walk toward the door. It opens, and Grace steps inside.
She beams. “Molly.”
“Hey, Grace.” I squat in front of her, and she slips her arms around my neck. “I’m just leaving, but it’s good to see you again.”
“Did you help Daddy with his game? He was stuck.”
I laugh, my heart aching. “I did. I beat the level he was on. Don’t you think that’s naughty?”
She nods.
I swallow hard. It’s so difficult to leave this house, to leave Grace and Brad behind. But I have to.
“Take good care of him,” I whisper.
“I will.”
Kissing her on the cheek, I stand. I look back over my shoulder. Brad’s gaze hits mine and I nearly lose the will to leave, but I have to. I can’t do this to him. I can’t do this to Grace.
The timing for this is all wrong.
Leaving is the right thing to do.
21
Brad
“Why didn’t you tell me she was here?” Mom glares at me.
“It’s not like you gave me a chance. You launched into it before I could say anything.”
She shakes her head. “Maybe it’s good she did hear me. Then she’ll know what kind of spectacle she’s helping you make of yourself.”
I run my fingers through her hair. “I love her, Mom.”
“I’ve heard that before.”
“She loves me too. You don’t know what she sacrificed.”
Mom rolls her eyes. “That girl’s richer than anyone in this town. She was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, and she doesn’t know the meaning of hard work.”
“That’s hardly fair.”
“Not like Lane. She was such a hard worker, and she loved you and Gracie so much.”
I flick a glance at Grace. Since Molly left, she’s sat on the floor with her dolls, ignoring Mom and me.
“Grace, do you want to go play in your room so Granny and I can talk?”
Mom bristles. She hates being called Granny.
Grace nods, picking up her toys. “Daddy, did Molly beat your game?”
I smile. “She did.”
My daughter rolls her eyes. “Thank goodness for that. It was taking you forever.”
I laugh as she walks up the hallway before shifting my focus back to Mom. “I know you loved Lane. So did I. But I also love Molly, and what you’re saying is so unfair.”
She snorts. “She didn’t have to deal with the heartbroken eighteen-year-old, moping around the house. I did. Lane was the one who pulled you out of that funk and brought you back to life. Now madam waltzes in and thinks she can pick up where she left off?”
“You wouldn’t understand. It’s so much more complicated than that.”
She shakes her head. “What you’re doing is disrespectful. What do you think Lane would think?”
Anger courses through my veins. “Lane wrote Molly a letter. We found it at her place. She wanted Molly and me to get back together. She wanted Molly to be there for Grace.”
Mom’s chest rises and falls rapidly. She’s pissed, but none of this is really her business. I’m nearly thirty, and I haven’t been a boy for a long time.
“Mom, I know you were upset when Molly left. I wouldn’t let her back in if I didn’t think she deserved it.”
Her lips quiver. “She caused you so much pain.”
I nod. “She did, but I’ve forgiven her. I need you to do the same. For Grace’s sake, and for mine.”
“I’m not sure if I can do that.” She holds her ground, and I’m not surprised. It’s going to take a lot more to crack Mom’s defenses where Molly’s concerned, and it’s not like I can blame her for feeling that way. “Is she moving back to town?”
I shrug. “We haven’t worked anything out yet. It’s still early days. I’m not stupid. I know she has a job to do, and her company is in Silicon Valley.”
“And everything you’ve built is here. Would you drag Grace across the country and away from me for her?”
“Mom, stop.”
“It’s a valid question.”
“Are you seriously asking me to choose between you?”
She raises her chin.
“I won’t do that, Mom. But I will do whatever works out to be best for the three of us. Do you really think I’d just walk away from the business I created? Where we live doesn’t matter. You need to decide if you’re going to support us or not.”
She says nothing for a moment, then sighs. “I’m not happy about this.”
“To be fair, this isn’t really anything to do with you.”
“It is if you take my granddaughter away.”
I swallow hard. The only place I ever imagined living was Nettle Downs. But if Molly and I take that next step, I’ll also have to support her career and her dreams. We might need to work out a compromise, and we’ll have to grow strong enough to do that, but I know my feelings.
And I’m sure I know Molly’s.
She showed her feelings in every kiss and every touch last night. The chemistry is as strong between us as it ever was, but it’s still early days.
“Mom, I can’t make you any promises. I’ll always do what’s best for Grace, and you know that.”
“Maybe you will when you stop thinking with your penis.”
“That’s unfair.”
She crosses her arms. “I looked after Grace last night so that Molly could sleep here. Isn’t that right?”
“Molly and I had dinner together, and yes, she stayed the night, but we could have done that with Grace here.” My blood runs hot at the thought of Molly in that gaming chair. That wouldn’t have happened
if Grace was home. It couldn’t have. But I want her again. I could build her an office of her own, with a lock on the door to …
Molly’s not coming back to live in Nettle Downs.
I can’t let my mother see my thoughts.
“Mark my words, Brad. You’ll regret letting her back into your life. She’ll hurt you all over again, and I’ll have to pick up the pieces. And this time, she won’t just break your heart. She’ll break Grace’s.” She turns to go, pausing at the door. I’m sure she thinks I’m going to call her to come back, but she needs to cool off as much as I do.
It’s time for Molly and me to prove her wrong.
22
Molly
I shouldn’t drive.
It’s hard to see past the tears, and I pull up halfway home on a quiet road to steady myself. The last thing I want is for Mom to see me upset.
Everything’s happened so fast.
I wipe the tears from my eyes and sit for a few minutes until my breathing evens out before starting the car again.
When I pull into Mom and Dad’s backyard, I take a deep breath and practice smiling before I get out of the car.
Mom’s in the kitchen when I walk in.
“I’m sorry, Mom, but I have to leave.” I peck her on the cheek and turn before she looks at me too closely.
“Are you okay?” Mom asks as she follows me into the bedroom.
I open my bag and throw what I can see into it. “I’ve got to go home.”
“Now?”
I nod. “I’m sorry. Work calls.” I force a smile for her.
“But you’re the boss. Can’t you get someone else to do it?”
“Not for this.”
She sighs. “Will you be back soon? It’s been so lovely having you home.”
“Sure, Mom. As soon as I can.”
She leans forward, scanning my expression. “What’s wrong? Is it Brad?”
I shake my head. “No. Brad’s fine. Or he will be.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, Mom.” I sigh. “How about you visit me next time? I’ll pay for the flights.”
She nods. “I’d like that. I’m sorry it was Lane’s death that brought you home, but I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too. It’s been good to see everyone again.”
I pack as quickly as I can before heading back out the door. Dad’s in the backyard, and I give him quick hug goodbye. “I’ve got to go home. I’ll see you soon.”
He grips my arms. “What’s happened?”
“Just a work thing, but it’s important.”
The concerned expression on his face tells me he believes me about as much as Mom did, but he lets me go. “Call us when you get home so we know you’re okay.”
I nod. “Will do.”
As I pull out of the driveway, I can’t think straight. My thoughts are muddled. It’s been a long time since I felt this way, and while I know I’m being impulsive, I can’t stop myself.
I can’t come between Brad and his mother. Not when she’s all he has left.
There are no flights out of Nettle Downs today.
In my haste, I forgot that the airport’s so small that there are only a handful of flights out a week.
There aren’t any charter planes to be had. So, I drive.
It’s a long way to get home, but I can’t stop.
Sometimes, in the early days of Mollab, when things were a bit shaky, I’d get panic attacks.
This is how they’d feel.
I shouldn’t be behind the wheel. My brain tells me that, but my instinct is to get out before I can cause damage to Brad.
Maybe it’s too late.
I know we have the support of our old friends, but Brad needs to be able to run his business wherever he wants to. And that old gossipy town has been known to turn its back on things it doesn’t like.
What if people don’t like him moving on with me?
What if it impacts his business?
What if it hurts Grace?
Thoughts swirl in my head as I put distance between me and Nettle Downs. I drive for what feels like hours, until I’m in the middle of nowhere and have no real clue where I am.
I’m surrounded by empty fields. Well, not all empty. There’s miles of green grass and the odd cow.
But there’s not a single person for miles, and my panic begins to subside.
I pull over to the side of the road and pull out my mobile. The reception is crappy, but there’s enough to make a phone call.
The car’s stuffy. I need out.
I need to breathe.
I sit in the dust at the side of the road and dial.
Miranda answers on the first ring. “Hey, Molly. How’s it going?”
“I’ve made a mess of everything.” Tears roll down my cheeks. “It’s all so fucked up, and I don’t know what to do.”
“Are you okay? Where are you?” she asks.
“I’m on the side of the road. I freaked out and ran, and Brad is going to hate me, and I’ve ruined all of it.”
“Oh, honey. Let me see where you are.”
I know what’s she’s doing. She’s no doubt logging into the Find My Phone site to track me down.
“I’ve got you, Molly. It’s okay. Do you need me to come to you, or do you want to come home?”
“I don’t know.” I run my fingers through my hair. “I let Brad’s mother get to me, and I don’t know what to do.”
I’ve spent my entire adult life not caring what people thought. I’ve made business decisions and done things my own way. But this time, my decisions don’t just affect me. They have the ability to hurt Brad and Grace. Or they might just be the best decisions I’ve ever made.
I’m so confused.
I’ve run away from every emotional choice since the day I left for college. I thought I was doing what was right, and while I’ve had so many business successes, personally, I’m a mess.
I’ve always been a mess.
It’s just been too hard to admit.
Brad doesn’t need me in his life.
“Take some deep breaths,” Miranda says. “Get back in the car and keep going to your left. There’s a town about fifty miles from you with a small airport. I’ll try and find a flight for you, or charter a plane.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“Get back here, and we’ll talk. We need to sort you out, Molly. You can’t run away from this.”
“I know. Brad is going to hate me.”
“I bet he doesn’t. But I think he needs to understand what’s going on in your head.”
I nod.
“I’ll be waiting at the airport at this end. And when you’re calm, you are going to call him, or text him to explain what’s going on. If he’s that important to you.”
Cradling my phone, I rock back and forward. “I love him.”
“I should tell you to turn around and drive back, but the airport’s closer, and I need to get you off the road.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
She sighs. “You’ll never have to find that out. Even if I didn’t work for you, you’re one of my best friends. I hope you know that.”
“I feel the same way.”
There’s silence for a moment. “Feel better?” she asks.
“No. I hate myself.”
“Oh, Molly. We’ll fix it. I promise.”
“What if he never talks to me again?”
There’s silence for a moment. “We’ll cross that bridge if we come to it. Come home, Molly.”
By the time I pull myself together, get back in the car, and drive to the airport, Miranda’s chartered a small plane to take me home.
I’m numb.
My impulse to run overrode everything else. Brad deserves better. So does Grace. I got carried away thinking I could be good for them.
But I felt more like myself with them than I have in years. I’ve spent so long building walls and protecting my heart, but the two of
them just walked right on in.
Maybe the girl I used to be was capable of having a successful romantic relationship, but I walked away from her a long time ago.
Lane wanted me to …
I can still take care of them from a distance. I’ll make sure Grace has a college fund, and that Brad has nothing to worry about.
The flight’s two hours, and I spend the whole time in my head.
I’m so lost.
“Miss Beckham?”
I look up to see the pilot smiling at me. “Yes?”
“We’ve landed.”
I blink a bunch of times, looking around. “Okay. Thanks.”
After pulling off my seatbelt, I pick up my bag and walk out of the plane. Miranda’s waiting just inside the terminal, opening her arms as I approach.
I close my eyes as she embraces me.
“You look exhausted,” she says.
“Driving always did tire me out. I slept well last night.” In Brad’s bed. In his arms.
“Let’s get you home. Give yourself some time to wind down and call Brad.”
I nod. “That sounds like a good idea.”
“What am I going to do with you, Molly?”
I shrug. “I’m a lost cause.”
“No, you’re not. You might have a tough exterior, but you’re such a softy inside. Surely Brad knows that.”
“I’ve changed since we were together the first time.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
She leads me out and into the car park where her little Ford Focus is parked.
I’ve flown into San Jose Airport so many times, and it’s always felt like coming home. Now it just feels weird.
We drive in silence, and my stomach aches more and more as I grow closer to my house.
“I brought a bottle of tequila if you feel like a drink.” Miranda turns toward Los Altos Hills, and I let out a long breath.
“I think I just want to go and have a sleep. It’s been a really long day.”
She nods. “I bet it has.”
“Every other aspect of my life is great. Why is my love life so messy?”
Miranda lets out a soft laugh. “Do you really want my opinion?”
“Of course I do.”