Beastly Lights

by Theresa Jane

  So instead, I just let him hold me. He embraced me tightly, nestling us back down under the covers and tucking me against his chest. I had never been closer to him, yet I felt as far away as when I first met him.

  * * *

  “Freya, I know you’re not going to like it, but I don’t want you to fight me on this,” Liam began. I had been sitting on the sofa sketching another picture of the Manhattan skyline as Liam spoke with his security team. They were a collection of six or seven very muscular, very intimidating men.

  They had been speaking in hurried, anxious whispers, and I couldn’t bring myself to eavesdrop, knowing it was the man in the baseball cap they were discussing. They hadn’t been able to catch him yesterday, and that terrified me.

  “What’s going on Liam?” I asked, looking up at Daryl and Martin who had stoic expressions on their faces.

  “I knew you wouldn’t call Daryl while I was away,” he started cautiously, and I found myself looking back at him guiltily. If I hadn’t been so hardheaded, I could have saved him all this trouble.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to be a burden,” I answered softly. “Ironic really.”

  “Freya,” Liam sighed from where he had crouched in front of me on the sofa. “I want Daryl with you at all times. He’s your new bodyguard. Wherever you go, he goes. I’m not going to budge on this. You can fight with me about anything else, but not this.”

  “Okay,” I answered, and I almost laughed at the smile spreading across Liam’s face. It was tentative at first, as if he couldn’t believe he had gotten away with this.

  “Okay?”

  “I’m scared, Liam,” I replied, looking down at my lap in shame.

  “Hey,” he murmured, resting his hand beneath my chin and forcing my eyes to his. “You don’t need to be ashamed, Freya. What this man is doing is wrong, but this is what he wants. He wants you afraid and paranoid. He wants you to isolate yourself and stop talking to those around you.”

  “How do you know all of this?”

  “This isn’t my first experience with a stalker. Fame is good at drawing out an insanity within people,” Liam answered, brushing his thumb against my cheek, and I felt my eyes close for a brief moment. “You have to trust me, Freya. I won’t let anything happen to you if you just let me help you.” I nodded absently, but I couldn’t stop the night with Jebediah from entering my mind. I wanted to trust him, I wanted to believe he was different than he was before, but it was all so raw. I needed more time.

  Yet there was something in me that refused to keep him out, and I was tired of fighting it. I wanted to see what was between us; I just wish there were fewer obstacles and distractions. My heart couldn’t separate all the emotions swirling inside of me, and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was ever going to make sense.

  “Whenever you go out, Daryl will be right beside you, no excuses,” Liam warned, and I rolled my eyes at his intensity. “I mean it, Freya. You do not try and give him the slip and disappear on your own.”

  “I won’t, I promise,” I answered, unable to hide the annoyance in my voice.

  “I’m sorry. I know this seems like a lot, I just wish I could be by your side all the time, but I know that’s impossible.”

  “I’ll stay with Daryl,” I confirmed, resting my hand against his cheek.

  “Thank you,” he sighed. The moment was interrupted by the buzzing of his phone. Reluctantly, he pulled it from his pocket, groaning as he saw who was calling him.

  “I need to take this,” he muttered, leaning in to place a kiss on my forehead before getting up and answering his phone.

  “What?” Liam answered impatiently before he disappeared down the hallway.

  “So, how does it feel to be my new babysitter?” I asked, looking up at Daryl, who was still standing stoically in front of me.

  “I am here to protect you, Miss Freya,” he answered without even flinching.

  “Great,” I mumbled, slumping back in the sofa and crossing my arms like a petulant child. This was going to be a blast.

  * * *

  “Freya, I need you to pay attention,” Liam said impatiently, tugging gently at my hand as I pressed, ‘ignore’ on another of my brother’s phone calls.

  There were almost two calls a day, and I couldn’t even be bothered counting the number of unread messages on my phone. I wasn’t ready to deal with him or the man he claimed had changed, not now, maybe not ever.

  We were driving to the airport in a car I was almost certain would survive even the most dangerous of war zones. I didn’t think it was necessary for a simple trip to the airport, even if there might be a small nation of reporters and fans waiting for us.

  "I am, Liam," I groaned.

  "Then what have I been saying?" he challenged.

  "Um…" Damn, he was right, I hadn’t been listening at all.

  “Freya,” he groaned, letting me go and running his hands through his hair in frustration. “This is important.”

  “I know, I’m sorry,” I answered guiltily. The truth was I was tired of security briefings, and I was more than over having a constant shadow anytime I wanted to leave the apartment, or more accurately, anytime Liam would permit me to leave the apartment.

  It had been almost two weeks since I returned from the hospital. Liam seemed to be getting more paranoid with each passing day, and it set my own nerves on edge. It couldn’t continue.

  I was almost giddy to be getting out of the country. To be somewhere else and maybe feel less trapped. I may be more willing to acknowledge my feelings for Liam, but his world was definitely one thing I could do without. I almost felt like a caged animal. I was allowed to look out at the world but I wasn’t allowed to be a part of it, and it was getting on my nerves.

  Not to mention my only visitors had been Ant, Lucy, Jarred and their kids, and they were never allowed to stay long because Liam would always set the kids off or get into an argument with Ant about something.

  It was even worse when Wyatt finally decided that he was tired of Liam ignoring his phone calls. It turned into a very loud and accusatory yelling match. There were a lot of words thrown around, but he refrained from insulting me outright, probably realizing how close Liam was to firing him the last time he went after me. I still wish Liam would open his eyes to the people around him and realize the people he surrounds himself with might just be bringing him down.

  “Freya, remember when we arrive at the airport, there might be reporters hanging around. We tried to keep my leaving quiet, but someone always knows, and they tell the entire media community,” he explained grumpily.

  “It’s fine, Liam. I promise to stay right beside Daryl the entire time,” I assured him.

  “No,” he frowned. “You stay by Daryl and me. One of us on either side, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Maybe we should have waited another week,” he mused, absently grabbing my hand as we hit severe airport traffic.

  “Liam, the problem would still be the same a week from now.”

  “I know.”

  “It’s going to be fine, Liam," I tried to assure him but instead of answering, he just stared at me distractedly before leaning forward and discussing something with Daryl.

  * * *

  The rest of the trip to the airport was silent as Liam sat worriedly beside me. It had me seriously considering if he had been lying to me this whole time about being a superstar because he was not dealing well with all the attention.

  When we finally arrived, the rest of Liam’s security moved so quickly that I didn’t even have time to worry about who might be outside.

  One minute I was in the car beside Liam, the next minute, I was being hurried from the curb to inside the building with Liam on one side and Daryl on the other. Then somehow we were inside a private lounge with all of Liam’s security standing around us, waiting for the plane to be ready.

  “Are you all right?” Liam asked worriedly, and I couldn’t help
but be frustrated with the question.

  “Liam, please. I’m not going to break. You need to stop trying to wrap me in bubble wrap. This is your world, and you said you wanted me to be a part of it. So, you need to trust that I will tell you if there is something I can’t deal with.”

  “I don’t like this part of my world. I don’t want it to hurt you,” he answered cautiously.

  “I guess you’re just going to have to wait and let me find out on my own.” It had already hurt me once. I had no doubt that it would do it again, but at least, this time, I was more certain of my footing when it came to Liam, mostly.

  “Sir?” A smartly dressed woman asked. I could only assume she was part of the staff that would be with us on Liam’s plane. “The plane is ready for you now.”

  “Thank you, Stacy,” Liam smiled, standing from where he sat beside me, reaching for my hand. “Ready?”

  “You have no idea,” I muttered, eager to put as much distance between myself and the city I once used to hide in. Now, it was those that hid within that seemed to be tormenting me, and I had nowhere to disappear to anymore.

  Chapter 35: The Big Show

  “So, where are we headed?” I asked nervously, tightening my hold on the armrests of the chair. I glanced anxiously out the window for what felt like the hundredth time and realized the plane had finally started to move. I didn’t even know what my heart was trying to do at this point. I didn’t know whether it was trying to beat faster or slower, and it only worked to increase my panic.

  “Amsterdam,” Liam answered, but his voice was distant as I tried to take deep, calming breaths. They didn’t seem to be working.

  “How far is that?”

  “Seven hours, give or take,” he shrugged, not even bothering to look up from his phone.

  “Mr. Henderson, we are about to depart, can I ask that you prepare for take-off?” Stacy informed him sweetly, and I felt my body tense even further. How was I meant to know that I had a fear of flying?

  “Of course, thanks, Stace,” Liam mumbled, shutting his phone off and clicking his seatbelt into place as Stacy bustled around the cabin making preparations.

  “Freya?” Liam prompted, and I barely pulled my eyes away from the window long enough to see him looking at me strangely.

  “What?” I managed to grind out through clenched teeth as the plane lurched to a stop. Immediately, my eyes were drawn back to the window to see that there were several other planes before us in line to take off.

  “Frey,” Liam started, and I reluctantly turned my attention to him as he undid his seat belt and moved across the cabin so he was in the seat opposite me. “Are you afraid of flying?”

  “I was unaware of this delightful trait until we boarded this tin death trap,” I shot back, tensing again as the plane shifted forward.

  “Hey,” he breathed, reaching over to me. He pulled my unwilling body to the edge of the seat and rested his forehead on mine. "We’re going to be fine. This plane is going to remain safely among the clouds until my very capable pilot lands in Amsterdam, okay?” I nodded in response, but I still felt extremely uncomfortable.

  “Come on now, let’s get you buckled in,” he smiled. He was trying to be reassuring, but all I felt was blind panic. I did not want to be strapped to this disaster waiting to happen. I wanted two feet firmly on the ground and the clouds above me, not around me.

  Suddenly, I felt his hands move me so I was pushed back in the seat and the belt was slipped around my waist. I still clutched tightly to the armrests of my chair.

  “I don’t want to fly,” I shot at him, and I heard him chuckle as he fell back into his own seat and securely fastened himself in.

  “It’ll be over before you know it, Freya.”

  “If you had just listened to me, I wouldn’t be here at all,” I growled. “I want to get off.”

  “Unfortunately, it’s too late to get off this ride.”

  “At this very moment, I hate you,” I sneered, leaning forward in my chair.

  “I can live with that,” he smirked, leaning across to meet me. “And I know you don’t mean it.”

  “Why are you so infuriating?”

  “Why are you so adorable when you’re angry?” He smirked, leaning forward enough to place a kiss on my forehead before he settled himself back in his seat. “Here,” he smiled, and suddenly he scooped my feet up off the floor and had them resting across his lap.

  “Hey,” I protested as I tried to right myself in my chair.

  “Just relax, Freya. I’m sure you’re going to love it when we’re up there,” he promised, removing my shoes and beginning to rub my feet soothingly. His hands felt like heaven. Instantly, I felt my muscles start to uncoil as his calloused hands worked their magic. I started to breathe more calmly and barely noticed the plane moving along the tarmac.

  “Is this real?” I blurted, looking wide-eyed between Liam and where he was massaging my feet. This couldn't be true. Having the man who could bring women to tears with a single smile massaging my feet.

  “What now?” he smirked. He glanced up at me with my favorite smile, and I felt my insides melt. He had a knack for making the rest of the world slip away.

  “I just can’t believe any of this,” I muttered, feeling as if my head was spinning and my world was being flipped. “I’m flying around the world with a guy I hardly even know, and he’s none other than Liam Henderson, rock star extraordinaire. And he’s massaging my feet after I yelled at him. It’s insane.”

  “And how does that make you feel?” he asked cautiously, continuing to massage my feet.

  “I don’t know yet.”

  “Well, I’m ready to listen when you’re ready to talk.”

  “Liam,” I tensed as the plane started to gain speed. “What’s happening?”

  “We’re taking off,” he answered simply and I shut my eyes tight, trying to pull my legs back from him, but he wouldn’t allow it. My whole body was rebelling against the sensation until something unexpected broke through my panic haze.

  Empty spaces high aboveDancing with the winter’s sunI can see new worlds from hereSo why is all I knew so unclear

  Soaring, climbing, rising throughAn endless slipstreamWhere all I see is new

  I never knew the world this wayI never felt so far awayTo remain among the clouds and wingsOf birds and angels and the songs they singA place where it wouldn’t hurt to stay

  Up there, out thereI can be freeLet the wind and silence wash over meUp there, out thereI am weightlessFree fall from the greyest cloudLeap toward a place I can be proud

  I didn’t even notice as the wings of the plane caught the wind and lifted into the sky. All I could hear and all I could see was Liam and his voice. I wasn’t afraid, and I wasn’t nervous anymore. Not when I knew he was here.

  “I knew that one," I answered when his voice finally stopped ringing in my ears. We were now high among the wispy white clouds, and I didn’t feel so afraid. “Up there, out there.”

  “I wrote it the first time I ever flew on a plane. It was when I was flying to California for my first tour. It was when I realized just how big the world could be. It helps me put things into perspective sometimes, being this high above the earth.”

  “I guess it would,” I answered, looking out at the window as the buildings of New York started to fade into the distance. It seemed bizarre that a city that had become my whole world could be so small.

  “Why don’t you get some rest, Freya? I’ll wake you when we’re about to land.” I let my eyes fall shut, not even noticing how tired I was until the world around me seemed to slip away as the sounds of the plane lulled me to sleep.

  * * *

  From the plane to the airport, to the car and then to the hotel was one giant mess of noise and bodies. When Liam had gently woken me from my peaceful sleep, I had no idea how crazy the world would become.

  I thought it was bad back in New York, but it was nothing compared to the i
nsanity waiting for us in Amsterdam. There were people who had been waiting outside the airport terminal for Liam’s arrival for hours. I had never heard something as loud as when we stepped out into the madness.

  The hotel was meant to be a secret, but it was clear that information had been leaked, meaning there were hundreds of screaming girls waiting for us when we arrived. They made it almost impossible for us to make our way through the masses to get safely inside.

  It explained why Liam had insisted on having around seven guys for security, with two more just focused solely on keeping me safe. Daryl and Martin had joined us this time, and they were tasked with making sure I didn’t get lost or hurt, and I could tell they were taking their job very seriously. Even one foot out of place had them on high alert, and it was generally me who was making the wrong step.

  A fan had gotten a little too excited and reached for me, only to be met with the hard body of Martin and an intense glare I knew I never wanted to be on the wrong end of.

  I was relieved when we finally made it to the hotel room. I felt like it was the first time I was able to take a real breath. I didn’t even get to take in any of Amsterdam because I was too preoccupied trying to stay by Liam’s side.

  I wished I could go out and explore, but I knew that it wouldn’t be an option, especially, when Liam was on such high alert. He, unlike me, didn’t believe I would be able to leave all my demons on the streets of New York. He thought that they might follow me, and that scared me more than anything.

  “Freya, we can’t stay long,” Liam announced, rushing around the huge hotel room only half dressed as he spoke hurriedly with someone on the phone. The hotel room was more of a suite and felt more opulent than I could have ever dreamed. I felt like I was sitting in an Antiques Roadshow fantasyland.

  The furniture looked so old and delicate that I was afraid to touch any of it. I didn’t even bother looking around when we arrived and instead found myself moving to the window that overlooked Amsterdam. It was surreal to know that I was in another country. Our room overlooked one of the many famous canals of dark brown-green water with vibrant streets filled with people along the edges of the canal.