by Cali MacKay
Fuck.
“Please tell me you weren’t just trying to escape again.” His voice was thick with sleep, and though I couldn’t really see him, I could tell he was fully alert, his body tense.
My heart raced as he rolled me onto my back, pinning me under his weight as he nestled himself between my legs, making it impossible to ignore his muscular body and his hard cock as it rocked against my clit, the thin fabric of my boxers offering little in the way of protection. I struggled to get away from him, trying to buck him off as he grasped my wrists and pinned them over my head, but he was nearly twice my weight and all muscle—and fuck…being at his mercy had my body immediately reacting to him, just as it always had.
“You’re insane. Get off me, Ash.” And yet, even I could hear how breathless and wanton I sounded, and I knew by the way he was looking at me that he could see just how badly I wanted him, even as I was overcome with a wave of guilt and shame for being so twisted, and getting off on him taking me in the middle of a struggle as I tried to get away. I just couldn’t help that my body’s reaction to being handled roughly, to being forced, was immediate, even if I knew how wrong it was.
“That’s not going to happen.” His voice was deep and ragged with need, his hips grinding his erection against me, even as I fought against him. I tried to pull free of his grip, hoping he’d tighten his hold, and bucked against his hard body, not to free myself but rather hoping that he’d just fuck me. That he’d take me even as I fought him off, because in some twisted way, it would give me what I wanted without me having to admit it. And yet he knew me so well…knew exactly what I wanted, even if he didn’t understand why I was so fucked up. “Not that you really want me to let you go. Do you, Wren?”
I struggled against him as I leaned forward and caught his mouth in a greedy kiss, our tongues clashing as he shifted both my wrists to one hand and pinched my nipple with the other, making me gasp.
It was like my body was trying to make up for the last eight years of being apart, last night’s adventures only acting as a reminder of how amazing it was to be on the receiving end of Ash’s affections. Even when I’d been with other men—or women—Ash was still the only one I’d been able to think of, no matter who I’d been with. Ash had always known what I needed, and he’d never made me feel uneasy about the things that turned me on, though I had more than enough guilt and shame on my own.
But then Ash pulled away from our kiss, though he’d yet to let me go. “Tell me this is what you want, Wren. Tell me you want me to fuck you.”
“You know exactly what I want.”
Fucking hell… I knew exactly what she had in mind, and the truth was I didn’t think I’d be capable of holding back much longer. From the moment I set eyes on her back at her place, the years apart evaporated in a heartbeat, leaving me with an insatiable hunger so I could think of nothing but fucking her over and over and over again.
I let go of her, but only to strip her naked, roughly pulling her clothes from her body, my cock aching at the sight of her. She was so fucking gorgeous—but first, there was a score to settle. Grabbing her hips, I flipped her onto her stomach, landing her on all fours as my hand connected with her ass cheek as I slapped her ass hard enough to have her crying out. “That’s for thinking about trying to run away—yet again.”
“Just so you know, I fucking hate—” The next slap stole her words, falling harder than the first, and though she may be cursing me to hell, I knew she was enjoying every minute of it, the sharp sting of pain melting into an overwhelming pleasure as her sweet cunt went wet for me and she finally finished her sentence. “You.”
I ran my hand over her hot skin to soothe it, letting my fingers dip into her slick heat, loving how she moaned and pushed back against my hand. I pulled free of her body and slapped her ass again and again, my cock so hard it throbbed, desperate to sink into her. Her backside was mottled red with my handprints, and when I ran my tongue over the markings and blew on them to help ease the sting, I swore, Wren nearly came.
Grasping her hips, I plunged into her, burying myself in her tight cunt with one thrust, her gasp only urging me on. I wrapped her thick, long hair around my fist and pulled her head back so I could feast on her neck, nipping my way to her shoulder as I pounded into her, pulling back, long and slow between thrusts. “You’re mine, Wren. But you’ve always been mine…haven’t you?”
She cursed in frustration, but gave me the answer I was wanting, the words seemingly wrenched from her. “Always.”
I loved hearing her say it, especially when we were supposed to be getting married, though we were clearly a long way off from smooth sailing. Not that I could think of anything but fucking her at this moment. The energy of my orgasm was building, racing through me as I tried to rein it in, wanting to prolong the moment. And yet I knew that she was close to coming, too, as she tried to quicken our pace, her needy cries escaping her lush lips with each thrust. “Don’t you dare, love. You don’t get to come until I give you permission. Am I making myself clear?”
She looked over her shoulder at me with a defiant glare. “And what are you going to do about it if I come, huh?”
“So cheeky.” I pulled free of her body, ignoring her protests as I lay back on the pillows, the absence of her body from around my cock sorely missed. But then I was pulling her to me, grabbing her hips as I brought her down onto my hard length, impaling her until I was fully buried in her slick heat while she straddled me. “That’s better…now I can see when you come. ’Cause I have to tell you, Wren…there’s no sight nicer than watching the pleasure on your face as you come with my name on your lips.”
“You’re such a pain in the ass, Ash.” But she still caught my mouth in one kiss after another as she rode me, swallowing my moans. And fuck, but it felt good to have her back.
I sat up and pulled her nipple into my mouth, holding it between my teeth and flicking it with my tongue before sucking on it hard as I pinched the other, all while she rocked her hips up and down my length, knotting her fingers in my hair. And this time, there was no holding back for either of us, as our mouths found each other once more, clashing in hungry kisses that swallowed our needy moans. My orgasm was barreling down on me, and I could barely hold it back. “Come for me, little bird.”
That was all it took to have her crying out my name as her body tensed and quivered in my arms, and I let loose my own orgasm, my cock pulsing deep inside her as I rode each wave of pleasure, my head spinning as I covered her face in kisses, my breathing heavy. “Fucking hell, Wren…”
Her gaze was fierce and determined, even as she pressed her lips to mine for a kiss. “I’m still not marrying you—no matter how many times you make me come. Just thought I’d mention that, just in case you were wondering.”
“Why do you always have to make things difficult? Can’t you just come home to Seattle and see your father? Just hear him out—or better yet, convince him to tell me who’s behind the threats and attacks to my family so I can keep them safe, without having to get married first.” Not that Turner would agree to let me off the hook. He was dying, and he wanted to know Wren would be safe and well-taken care of. It wasn’t as though I could really blame him, even if he was being a pain in the ass.
And then there was the little matter of getting revenge for my father’s murder. Because whoever the fuck was after my family was going to pay.
“You know what he’s like, Ash. He’ll never agree to help you without getting something in return. I love my dad, but he’s a selfish, manipulative bastard, even if he only wants what’s best for me.” She slipped up off my cock, and lay down by my side. At least she wasn’t trying to run, as if she was finally coming around to the idea that we were stuck with each other for the foreseeable future. “I don’t suppose you’ll let me go, will you?”
“When we can have so much fun? Not a chance in hell, sweetheart.” I pulled her close, loving how familiar it felt to have her in my arms again. “Now…are you going to stay put or do
I need to get the handcuffs out?”
“I’d rather skip the handcuffs for now, thank you very much. And just so we’re clear, just because I’m not pulling a runner or screaming bloody murder until the cops show up, does not mean I’m happy about you kidnapping me—nor am I happy about how you’ve played to my weaknesses to try to manipulate me into doing what you want. Because this is totally fucked up, Ash. You know that, right?” Her eyes had darkened with such a weary despair, it had me worried about her, my hold on her tightening.
“Yeah…I know—but it doesn’t change our reality.” I hated to admit it, but there was something more that had me worrying about her, though I wasn’t quite sure what was going on.
I’d known that seeing me again wouldn’t be easy for her, but her tears, her anger, felt far more anguished than I’d have expected. Something just felt off. Though maybe it’d been there all along, and I was just too young and stupid to notice. Because suddenly, she didn’t seem so crazy—just distraught and…broken.
I didn’t quite understand it all. It wasn’t the murder of her stepbrother, since she’d been like this when I met her, though that may have contributed to things getting worse. That meant, if this was all because of some problem she was dealing with, then it had all started before my time with her.
“Wren… You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”
“Of course there’s something wrong, Ash. You broke my heart the last time we were together, and now you’re dragging me back to my father’s and forcing me to marry you—which, no offense, doesn’t exactly bode well for us having a long and happy marriage.” Though it was nothing but the truth, there was no way I could tell him all I’d been through…or worse still, all I’d done. I just couldn’t go down that road, digging up my life’s mistakes and all the ways I’d been wronged, when no good would come of it.
“You don’t know that, Wren. And maybe getting married is a good thing. It’s not as though we didn’t once love each other.” He let his fingers trail down my back, his touch soothing my jagged nerves.
Yet, I knew that happiness wasn’t meant to be mine, even if he made me feel like it could be. And that was downright dangerous. Because I knew the promise of happiness was nothing more than a lie, and if I gave in and believed that it could be mine—that I could somehow overcome all my problems—then eventually my reality would come crashing down around me, and the fallout this time around would be even harder.
“We were volatile together at the best of times. So don’t go kidding yourself into believing that this is some sort of fairy tale, when you know the only road we’ll be on is a road to disaster if we stay the course.” The truth was, he didn’t know the half of it. Things would always be fucked up between us, and getting hitched sure as hell wouldn’t fix anything.
“You don’t know that, Wren. And I swear, I’ll do everything I can to make you happy and keep you safe. You just need to give this thing between us a chance, instead of condemning it before it’s even gotten started.”
The way he looked at me with those intense green eyes of his made me want to believe every word he said, especially after he’d given me the most mind-blowing orgasms I’d had in years. Yet he didn’t have a clue as to what he was walking into, and he was making promises he’d never be able to keep.
“It’s not as though I’ll be given much of a choice, either way, so why are you bothering with how I feel about this?” It may be sweet of him, but it didn’t change my reality.
“I know you think I’m a fucking asshole—and maybe I am. But it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.” He let out a sigh of frustration, his body tense against my side. “You know what? Let’s just get some sleep. We’ve got a long day ahead of us, and there’s no point in arguing when neither of us has a choice. But, I swear, Wren—try to pull another runner, and I’ll handcuff us to each other faster than you can blink.”
I couldn’t help but scoff at him, even as I settled in against his side, ready for sleep. “As if I can’t pick my way out of a set of handcuffs.”
We slept in late, and eventually got on the road after grabbing a bite to eat, and though I had little to say to Ash, my silence meant that I was left with nothing but my thoughts for company—and that was never a good thing. Ash did his best to try to get me to talk to him, but I was in no mood for being soothed or humored when he and my father were hijacking my life.
“I was thinking…once we’re married, we should take some time to travel. My brothers can deal with the distillery while we’re gone, and I have more than enough stashed away.” He reached over and took my hand, bringing it to his lips—and earning him a glare as I pulled my hand away.
“I’m not going anywhere with you, Ash. And if I can’t get out of this wedding, then so be it. But that sure as hell doesn’t mean I have to live with you once we’re hitched.” I’d go back to San Francisco, ditch Ash and my wedding ring, and continue living my life while Ash got the help he needed for his family. Problem solved. Don’t know why I’d gotten so worked up about it when the solution was so simple.
“Yeah…that’s not happening, babe.” The determined look he gave me was all too familiar, and I knew we’d be butting heads yet again. “The agreement is that I marry you and keep you safe. And I can’t do that if we’re not together.”
“Last I checked, my dad doesn’t have ESP. It’s not like he’d know.” And then it hit me that my dad also wouldn’t be around for much longer. He only had months to live. Maybe less. And though he hadn’t been the perfect father, he’d tried his best in his own way, and once he was gone, I’d be all on my own. My mother was long gone, my stepmother had bailed ages ago, and my stepbrother was dead by my own hand.
There was no one else.
And suddenly, I couldn’t help the tears that fell down my cheeks—and leave it to Ash to notice, even though he was driving.
“Hey…what’s wrong?”
“If it’s what my dad really wants, I’ll marry you—but once he’s gone, this is over. Am I making myself clear?” I swiped at my tears, hating that they put my vulnerabilities on display for the world to see when I was trying to stay strong.
Ash shifted his attention between me and the road, reaching over to brush the tears from my cheeks. “I’m so sorry, love. I know he’s all you have left. But you have my word, you’ll never be alone. I’ll be here for you…whatever you need.”
“Why are you being nice to me?” It was already hard enough to keep him at arm’s length without him chipping away at my anger with him.
“Because you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved, Wren.” He let out a long breath, his gaze focused on the road ahead, as if he hated himself for making such an admission. And yet, at the moment, it was exactly what I’d needed to soothe my broken heart.
I hated to admit it, but Ash was most certainly the only man I’d ever loved—I just wasn’t sure that going down this road again was a smart idea. It certainly hadn’t ended well the first time, despite our love for each other. And though any sane man would have bailed a hell of a lot sooner than Ash had, it didn’t mean I could forgive him for abandoning me—even if he didn’t know the hell he’d dropped me in by leaving.
Our late start that morning, and the scenic route Ash had chosen, ended up adding another day to our travels, which suited me just fine, since I was in no rush to deal with my father and his asinine scheming. Yet by the time we stopped for the evening, it felt like the fight had gone out of me. I just didn’t have the energy to keep arguing with Ash, over and over, when nothing was going to change by doing so. And I’d given him my word that I’d marry him—for a short while, anyway—which meant there was no point in rehashing things.
“We’ll be in Seattle by noon tomorrow, even if we sleep in a bit.” Ash had pulled off the highway and into a cute little town that was nestled in the woods and the mountains, getting us settled at a gorgeous inn.
Once more he got us a room with just one bed, though at this point, who was I kidding? Luc
kily, the room was really nice, and even better, there was a deep soaker tub. But first, I needed dinner, before my mood started to sour as my blood sugar dropped. “Don’t suppose we can get something to eat? Maybe just order room service?”
“Why don’t you go take a bath, while I order for us, and then we can watch a movie or something?” Just like the old days when we’d grab some takeout and watch a movie, snuggled up together.
“Sounds as good a plan as any.”
But as I drew myself a bath and slipped down into the steaming hot water, I was overwhelmed by it all. Seeing Ash again was digging up old memories I’d never really been able to bury and tearing open old wounds. It left me feeling emotionally raw and physically exhausted, my fight stolen away from me long ago.
It was clear Wren was dealing with a whole lot of turmoil in her life. And though I knew that being forced to marry me, especially when coupled with her father’s terminal illness, was certainly a huge part of it, she still had me wondering if that was all that was going on. Not that she’d talk to me about anything. All I could really do was try to be there for her, though I worried that it wouldn’t be enough and she’d continue to push me away.
Just as I started to worry about how long she’d been in the tub, our meal was delivered, giving me an excuse to knock on the bathroom door. “Your meal’s here, love. Probably best to eat it while it’s still hot.”
She came out wearing nothing but a tank top and flimsy little shorts, as she squeezed her long hair dry with a towel. And yet her eyes were rimmed in red, making me think I was right to worry about her. I sat down on the edge of the bed and gently pulled her to me. “I hate seeing you upset, Wren. You can talk to me, you know.”