by Cali MacKay
“There’s nothing to say.” She wouldn’t even look at me, and her voice sounded so small…so broken. “Once again, I have no control over what happens to me. You and my father have come up with a plan, and I have no say in it.”
I still felt like I was missing something. But what? And clearly, I was the last person Wren wanted to confide in. “You know your dad has enemies, given the line of work he’s in, and he’s just worried about you.”
“And you’ve been hand-picked as my knight in shining armor—even though you abandoned me the last time, when I needed you most.” She sighed and shook her head. “I’m sorry. You had every right to leave. My problems weren’t your responsibility.”
Fuck. “What problems, Wren? Just talk to me, love…”
“Problems that no longer matter.” She pulled away from me, and though I wanted to hold onto her, I didn’t want to push her.
At this point, it was more important that she learn to trust me again. And that wasn’t something you could force someone into, even if circumstances certainly could. It was still up to her to make that leap, and it was up to me to show her that I’d be here for her, no matter what she needed.
“Come on then…let’s pick out a movie. We can watch while we eat.” I convinced her to go for a blockbuster comedy, not wanting anything too dark or stressful in the mood she was already in. “My burger’s surprisingly good. Yours?”
“Yeah…it’s perfect. And the fries are good too.” She even managed to give me a small smile, which I was damn happy to see.
Though I had no doubt the food helped her mood, I wasn’t stupid enough to think that her problems didn’t run far deeper than low blood sugar levels dragging her down. Still…for now, I was happy to see her in a decent mood, knowing that once we got back to Seattle, she’d be nothing but miserable, since her dad would want her married as soon as possible.
As hungry as we were, it didn’t take us long to clear our plates, setting them aside so we could relax on the bed and watch the movie. And though it was a good movie, I could think of little but Wren, especially as our bodies rested against each other in the small bed. Unable to help myself, I slipped my arm around her shoulders, and gently pulled her toward me, loving that she nestled up against my side as we watched the movie and sipped our beers, rather than fighting me.
It was nice doing something so…normal. My life was usually too crazy and chaotic to sit back, relax a little, and just enjoy the evening. Not that I didn’t go out and have a good time. Hell, I’d done more than my fair share of that. But this was a lot more relaxing and low-key, and the fact that I was doing it with Wren was damn nice. It’d be even nicer once she didn’t hate me, and I could get a few more smiles from her. Because watching her struggle with whatever it was that was haunting her was killing me.
By the time the movie ended, Wren was asleep in my arms. And in that moment, I couldn’t have been any more content to know that she was sleeping peacefully.
The next leg of our trip was a short one, though the closer we got to Seattle, the more nervous and withdrawn she seemed to get. I knew this had to suck for her, but I hadn’t been lying when I said that I didn’t have much of a choice. My brothers and I—and even the cops—had tried to track down my father’s killer, and no matter what clues and rumors we followed up on, we ended up with one dead end after another.
It was beyond frustrating to know that whoever murdered my dad was still out there, and could easily come after the rest of my family. And I wasn’t overreacting. I was fully aware that my family had made its share of enemies over the years, given the line of work we’d been in, but we’d walked away from that life after my father’s murder, and were now focused on making Blackthorn Whiskey a huge success, instead of it being a front for our less-than-legitimate activities.
I just needed this last threat to go away, so we could get on with our new lives.
I glanced over at Wren, concerned about her and everything she was going through. “We don’t have to go straight to your father’s if you don’t want to deal with that right now.”
“No. I want to get it over with. There’s no point in putting it off.” Her jaw tightened and it was clear her entire body was tense with the prospect of seeing her father and the argument that would no doubt follow.
“It’ll be okay—you have my word, I’ll do right by you.” I hooked the back of her neck and pulled her to me for a quick kiss, doing my best to keep my eyes on the road.
But a quick kiss wasn’t what Wren had in mind. She leaned over and nipped at my ear and neck as my hand drifted up her bare thigh and under her skirt, while she reached down and stroked my cock through my jeans. I immediately went hard, and resisted the urge to push her head down into my lap, knowing just how good it’d feel to have those sweet lips of hers wrap around my hard cock.
Pushing her panties aside, I slipped my fingers between her slick folds and against her clit, as she moaned up against my neck, increasing her pace as she stroked my cock. “More…”
“Fucking hell, Wren…” I plunged my fingers deep inside her, loving how she bucked against my hand, forcing me in deeper, even as she undid the button and zipper of my jeans, pushing my boxers out of the way and freeing my hard length.
Her warm fingers trailed over the head of my cock before wrapping around my girth, slowly stroking me as I forced myself to focus on the road so we wouldn’t end up in a ditch. But then she lowered her head toward my lap and ran her tongue along the slit and ridge of my cock, sucking on the head as her hand shifted down my length. I couldn’t help but groan, my head falling back against the headrest.
I quickened my pace, thrusting my fingers into her, as my palm pressed against her clit and she moaned against my shaft, the vibrations of it sending waves of pleasure through me, as my orgasm started to build. Taking more of me with each pass, she sucked me until my head was spinning, and teased me with flicks of her tongue, our pace quickening until she was coming, her body tightening around my fingers and her cries escaping around my cock as she sucked me until I could take no more. “I’m coming, love.”
Yet instead of pulling away, she just quickened her pace until my orgasm tore through me and I shot my cum down her throat as she continued to suck me, swallowing everything I had to give her, and then licking me clean. “I missed this so much, little bird.”
She gave me a smile as she settled back in her seat. “I bet.”
What the hell was I thinking? I had wanted to keep my distance, and instead I’d ended up blowing Ash while cruising down the highway at eighty miles an hour.
I could blame it on how stressed out I was about seeing my dad—not to mention being around Ash—but it’d be nothing but an excuse. There was just something about Ash that made me crazy, so I couldn’t think straight.
“You okay, love?” Dividing his attention between me and the road, Ash reached over and brushed my cheek, his fingers just a little rough against my skin. “We’re nearly there.”
“Yeah…I’m fine.” Except that I wasn’t. My father was impossible to deal with under normal circumstances. Never mind now that he had his mind made up about me marrying Ash, in some asinine move to keep me safe from all his enemies.
“It’ll be okay, Wren. I know things have been tense between you and your dad, especially since his diagnosis and your brother’s death, but I’ll be right there by your side.”
The mention of Steven had my heart skittering and my stomach flipping.
“Stepbrother.” I fought back my sudden nausea, but as Ash pulled down my father’s drive and pressed the intercom at the gate, I nearly lost it. “I can’t do this, Ash. I can’t marry you. Believe me, this is for your own good.”
I knew I was leaving him in the dark about far too much, but he could never know my secrets. And it sure as hell wouldn’t be fair to drag him into the middle of it all. He deserved someone who could make him happy, someone normal—not someone who was fucked in the head and had suffered years of abuse. Not a murderer
.
“Come on.” Ash parked in front of the home I grew up in, and I was immediately hit with an onslaught of memories, even as he took my hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m sorry, little bird. But you know neither of us have any choice in the matter.”
I squeezed my eyes shut against my stinging tears, and held onto my anger for protection, just like I’d done a million times before. Because in the end, my hurt and anger were the only things I had left. I got out of the car and slammed the door in frustration, ready to fight for my life once more. My father’s nurse—someone I’d never seen before—let us in and showed us to where he was sitting in the living room.
“Wren…I’m so happy to see you.” Seeing my dad looking so gaunt and weak had my tears spilling over. And though some would say he looked good, given his condition, he was a shadow of his former self. “Don’t cry…not when we should be celebrating.”
I sank down by his side as I hugged him, all my arguments dying on my lips, my anger silenced once more. How the hell was I supposed to argue with him? How the hell was I supposed to stand my ground and go against his wishes when it was clear that this was his dying wish?
I shifted onto the sofa across from him, grateful for once that Ash was by my side as he pulled me into his arms to comfort me. And yet, I knew this was my one chance to protest against this marriage, even if I knew it was futile, and just so I could tell myself that at least I’d tried to put a stop to this. “You know I love you, Dad—but please…don’t make me do this. I can’t get married. It’s not fair.”
“Life’s never fair, Wren. Certainly you know that by now.” His words sent a shard of panic through me, though I told myself he didn’t know. He couldn’t possibly. “If it were, I wouldn’t be dying of this horrible fucking disease.”
“Can’t you just tell Ash who went after his family, so he can deal with whoever’s behind the attacks—without blackmailing him into marrying me? I don’t need him or anyone to keep me safe.” Yet even as I spoke the words, I knew they were falling on deaf ears and would make little difference.
“Ash and I have an agreement, and you’re getting married. It’s the only way to keep you safe from my enemies. And if you need some motivation to get you down that aisle, just know that you won’t see a dime of your inheritance or your trust fund if you don’t get married. I’ll cut you off completely—and I’ll die worrying about you.”
Just in case his threat wasn’t enough, he could always fall back on good ole guilt.
“That’s really nice. Just couldn’t resist throwing that one in there, now could you?” I cursed under my breath—and at this point, I’d agree to just about anything to get out of this house.
“Given my declining health, you’ll be getting married this weekend. So I suggest you use the time wisely to find yourself a nice dress.”
This weekend? He was giving us no time to back out of this.
“You can’t be serious, Dad.” I wanted to scream—not that it would make a difference.
“You know I am.” My dad then shifted his attention to Ash. “The men who killed your father and are threatening your family will be dealt with as soon as your marriage is official.”
Ash nodded, even as I got to my feet, thoroughly done and desperate to leave, my anger finally breaking free. “Well, I’m glad the two of you are getting your way—and to hell with what I want.”
My father just shrugged. “One day, you’ll thank me.”
By the time we got out of there, I was so frustrated and angry, I could burn the world down. Yet Ash just drove us away, letting me curse and rant until I could no longer find any words, and I just sat there in silence, stewing in my fury. Forty minutes later, we were pulling up to a secluded home tucked away in the woods.
“Welcome home, little bird.” Ash killed the engine and gave my hand a squeeze. “Though if you prefer we stay elsewhere for now, I can arrange that too.”
“No… This place is as good as any.” Until I could get the hell away from this nightmare and back to San Francisco.
I followed Ash up to his front door, his home an eclectic mix of modern yet rustic charm, designed, no doubt, to take in the beauty of the wilderness that surrounded the home, with large walls of glass, the nearest neighbors and roads too far away for privacy to be an issue. And the interior was no less impressive. “This is really nice, Ash.”
“I’m glad you like it—though if you want us to get a different place that’s both of ours from the start, we can do that too.” He set aside our bags and pulled me into his arms, my body’s reaction to him immediate.
“This is fine—especially since I’ll only be here for a few months.” As soon as my dad was gone, I could go back to living my life the way I wanted, instead of being dictated to and manipulated into a life I wanted no part of.
“Wren…do you really think your dad’s going to let you back out of this marriage, even after he’s gone?”
I knew Patrick Turner well enough to know that there’d be no way he’d let Wren wrangle her way out of this marriage as soon as he was gone. “I guarantee you he’ll have put some sort of stipulation into his will that forces us to remain married. And since he knows you well enough, I’ll bet it also states that we need to be living together.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” She glared at me as if this was all somehow my fault, but as her eyes shimmered with tears again, I couldn’t help but pull her into my arms even as she fought me. “Let go of me, Ash. I fucking hate this.”
“I know, love.” I brushed her tears from her cheeks and let her go, needing her to come to terms with our situation without trying to force her into it. She was already showing signs of coming around and hating me less, and I didn’t want to ruin what progress we’d made. “But like I said, I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy—because seeing you upset has been fucking killing me.”
“I get that this isn’t your fault—but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.” She seemed less angry and far more frustrated and broken.
It was a drastic change to the wild side of her that I remembered, though in many ways it left me far more concerned. “I know you don’t want to talk to me, but…fuck, Wren. You have me worried.”
“I don’t know why you care—and the truth is, you shouldn’t.” She shook her head, her brow furrowed as she looked up at me, grabbing my shirt in her hands. “You’re getting roped into this against your will, just like I am.”
“I do care. I always have. And though I hadn’t planned on getting blackmailed into marriage, I can’t say that marrying you hadn’t crossed my mind when we’d been together.” We had just been too young, and things had been too crazy.
“Then what the hell happened? How the hell did we go from you thinking about marrying me to breaking up with me instead?” Her anger returned, but with it was a hurt that tore at my soul. Because I swore, this was far more than her just being upset about us breaking up.
“I made you miserable, Wren. You were always upset or angry with me, doing everything you could to try to push me away.” But there was more, and I’d never told her. “And though the sex was fucking hot—it felt…wrong. Like I was forcing myself on you.”
“You never did anything I didn’t want or ask for, Ash.” But her cheeks flushed red and she wouldn’t look at me as her tears streamed down her cheeks.
“Fuck…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” I felt like a total ass, even if it was the truth. My mother may have been the only woman in a huge family of men, but we’d been raised right, and were always respectful of women. Trying to give Wren what she wanted, what turned her on, made me question what I was doing, and left me feeling guilty for being so forceful with her.
“So, you broke up with me instead? That’s just fucking brilliant.” She looked so broken, and I still didn’t get it, which only made me feel like an even bigger ass.
I pulled her into my arms, ignoring her struggles as she pounded on my chest and cursed me. “I thought I was
making you miserable, and figured if we broke up, you’d finally find someone who could truly make you happy. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Wren.”
“You didn’t just hurt me, Ash—you abandoned me and left me to fend for myself.” She choked back a sob that tore at my soul.
“What do you mean, I left you to fend for yourself?” I didn’t quite get it. It wasn’t as though I’d left her homeless and poor, or in some sort of bad situation. She’d been living at home, under her family’s protection. And yet, it felt like there was something she wasn’t telling me, and there was something about her words, her pain, that left me feeling devastated for her. “Talk to me, Wren.”
She just shook her head, her cheeks still wet with her tears, refusing to look me in the eyes. “It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.”
“It does matter—especially since this is clearly still affecting you.” What the fuck had happened to her after our breakup? “Was it someone else you dated? Did they fucking hurt you?”
“Yeah…that’s it. I had a bad date.” Except that she was being dismissive and sarcastic, and I knew that there was more to it all. She was still keeping something from me.
“Who was it? Because I’ll fucking kill them, Wren.” The thought of someone hurting her made my blood burn with rage.
She pulled out of my arms, and I let her, too pissed off to try holding onto her. “It’s no one—and it doesn’t matter. I don’t even remember his name.”
“What did he do to you, Wren?”
“It was nothing. Nothing happened.” What the fuck was I doing, lying to him? And yet I couldn’t tell him the truth. I just needed to get the fuck away from him before it all went to hell and I said something I couldn’t take back.
He’d never look at me the same way if he knew the truth. Never. And it would kill me to see the pity in his eyes, and the disgust. I just couldn’t… It was already bad enough that he thought I was some sort of freak when it came to sex. And who could blame him? Even I knew it was messed up. Because this wasn’t some sort of consensual BDSM thing where I liked things rough—it was consensual fucked-up sex because I was fucked up in far too many ways.