The Journey (Sanshlian Series Book 2)

by Dani Hoots

  I was feeling more powerful now, as if I could do anything. I no longer felt like the odd one out around the others from the future, around Logan or Joss. I could finally have the upper hand. And I was one step closer to defeating Nygard.

  I still didn’t understand why Violet didn’t want to train me with this power, especially if Nygard was out there. Wouldn’t she want me to be powerful? Wouldn’t she want me to be able to defeat my father? It didn’t make sense, why she would leave me weak like this. And I knew if I asked, she wouldn’t answer me. It was always back and forth with her, nothing ever completely answered.

  Not to mention I had to solve another riddle in order to find Sanshli.

  What was with Sanshlians and riddles? Seriously, it was annoying. Though what I didn’t understand was the fact that my mother didn’t know the answer to this one. Wasn’t she the one who made these riddles up? So either she wasn’t the one who did it or she was lying to me.

  Honestly, I didn’t know which one it was.

  Dan and I headed back to the Capitol Building where he said I would practice just a bit more. I didn’t understand why I couldn't just keep practicing on the island but I decided not to bother. It wasn’t like he would give me a straight answer anyway. It didn’t seem like anyone was giving me straight answers ever. I learned to deal with it though, as I had all my life.

  Following him to the training room, I found it completely empty. It had grown late now and it didn’t surprise me. It was almost dark out now, as it had taken some time for us to travel back.

  “Wait here, I will be right back,” Dan said as he hurried out the door. I rocked back and forth on my heels. I wondered what Dan was doing, a little curious, a little afraid. He had shot me after all, he was capable of anything. A couple moments later, he appeared with Logan. The moment he saw me, he rolled his eyes.

  “What am I doing here?” he asked. “And why do you want me to work with her?”

  “I need you to just stand still and when you need to, use your powers,” Dan explained.

  Logan sighed and stood still. “Just promise me she won’t try and kiss me again.”

  Dan glanced over at me, a little confused. I shrugged. “I have no idea what he’s talking about. Anyway, what do you want me to do?”

  “I want you to focus on creating a wall of fire around Logan. Can you do that?” Dan asked.

  I honestly didn’t think I could, but I didn’t want Logan to know that. I was the last to master my powers and I hated it when someone could defeat me like he probably could with them. He looked at me, waiting for something to happen. If I didn’t do it, he would tell the others that I had failed at something. I would never hear the end of it, as I never showed failure in anything to them.

  Taking a deep breath, I focused on fire, wanting it to spread out and around Logan. At first there was nothing, but I kept concentrating, kept wanting it to appear. I couldn’t show weakness, I couldn’t let Dan down. Because, frankly, he might shoot me again.

  And it appeared, just as I imagined it. I had done it.

  Logan wasn’t impressed. He just stood there for a moment and let out a brief sigh. A second later, he waved his hand and a sheet of ice and fog appeared. The fire was gone, he had completely wiped it away with his powers.

  Son of a bitch.

  He turned to Dan, as if all of this had been troublesome. It was his typical demeanor, actually, so I shouldn’t have taken it personally, though it was a little late for that.

  “Can I go now?” he asked.

  Dan nodded and Logan left the training room. I wanted to run after him and punch him. I had made a beautiful firewall for him and he destroyed it with his powers.

  Which meant I was still weak. Which meant training all day was for nothing. And I had made a fool of myself in front of Logan. This day just couldn’t get any worse.

  I cursed myself for thinking that. Now it was going to get so much worse.

  Dan clapped his hands together. “Well done, Myra. I think we can call this a day.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. After all that, he was just going to give up for the day. I still wasn’t strong enough, I still wanted to be able to do more. “But he cleared it away, he destroyed it.”

  “Yes, but you were able to create something much larger than what we were doing on the island. I had a feeling if you were around your colleagues, you might improve a bit faster. As for him blocking it, that is something to work on tomorrow. You have to remember that others have powers as well so you must work on strengthening them to defeat them. If your fire was strong enough, it could have withstood the ice. But you aren’t there yet, they have had a year of training and you have had just two days. You will get there soon, I promise.”

  For some reason, Dan’s little speech didn’t lighten up my anger. I simply nodded and thanked him for the day. As quickly as I could, I headed to my quarters. I didn’t want to have to deal with another person for the remainder of the day.

  But of course, that would never happen. There always had to be more complications, more things to irritate me.

  Like the whole thing with Tim.

  Tim was waiting for me outside my quarters. I took a deep breath and walked straight towards him.

  “What do you want?” I asked. I sounded a little angrier than I wanted, but I was still irritated that Logan had bested me at powers that weren’t even actually his. I was the only one here that was born a Sanshlian, except for Neil of course. It was irritating that it came so naturally to them yet so hard for me.

  Tim looked sad, his eyes round and sorrowful. I was glad he wasn’t Jack from the future in appearance because I could never say no to those eyes. It was a little easier with him now looking like someone else. Just a little. “I just wanted to know the truth. I want to know if you are in a relationship with Logan.”

  Oh, the dilemma. Do I lie and say that I was, and have Logan try to kill me when he found out, as he would never go along with it, or do I say no and have to explain that I kissed Logan to make him go away? Neither choice was preferable over the other and I was running out of time.

  “We have had some relations, yes.” That was all I could come up with. That way it sounded like we were together, but really the relations we had was a hateful relationship full of resentment.

  “So we are really over? After all this time? I can’t believe that.” Tim grabbed my wrist. “I will never believe that.”

  “Let me go,” I said in an earnest tone. “I don’t love you, I have only been using you for the Emperor. My loyalty is to him and him alone.”

  “You are telling me that this entire time, all the missions on Recar, they were never to see me? That you lied to me every time we were together? That you just wanted an ‘in’?”

  “Yes. I never loved you Jack, I was simply ordered to get close to you for information, for Recar’s loyalty to the Empire. Now that is done, I have no use for you,” I lied. I couldn’t believe what I was saying. I couldn’t believe I had to hurt him like this, after all this time.

  He shook his head. “You are lying, you have to be.”

  I had to finish this, this had to be the last time I lied to him. “I’m sorry but that’s the truth. Now leave.”

  He stared at me for a moment longer, then turned and left without another word. I took a deep breath, knowing that was probably the point where he had given up completely on me.

  I just didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

  CHAPTER 17

  I lay on my bed, exhausted, both physically and mentally. After everything that had happened today, I definitely needed a drink. First, I had an long day of learning my powers, only to find out I was behind everyone else. Then on top of that I had probably just lost Jack forever, and I could bet that some of the others were going to pick on me when Logan told them I couldn’t beat him with my powers. I had so much to do and yet so far to go. I wasn’t used to that feeling, I was used to being the best.

  But now it
felt like I had to start all over.

  At least now I had Dan to teach me things, instead of no one like earlier. I could trust that he would get me where I needed to be in order to defeat Nygard. Then this would all be over. I reached over to my boot and picked up the gem. It would be soon, I knew it deep down.

  The gem glistened in the light. It was a beautiful emerald color, maybe it was an emerald, though I knew it was probably much more advanced than that. Somehow this little gem was going to tell me where Sanshli was, where the darkest light shone.

  That made no sense whatsoever, but it was Violet who said it. So it had to be true, in some way, shape, or form. As I thought this over, I heard my mother’s voice.

  “What are you thinking?” she asked.

  I sighed as I put my arm over my eyes. “I’m just exhausted. I trained all day and then had to break my love’s heart. It really takes it out of one when that happens.”

  “I’m sorry sweetheart, but you know that in the end it’s for the best. That it’s for the safety of the universe. Hopefully after it all ends, he will understand.”

  “Will I, or he, even be alive after all of this ends?” I asked. Violet didn’t answer. I let out a brief laugh. “I didn’t think so.”

  “It is unknown what will happen after you defeat Nygard, whether or not anyone will survive.”

  “That sounds reassuring.”

  “I’m just telling you I don’t have all the answers.”

  I sat up quickly. “Then what answers do you have, mother? What can you tell me so that I can win? So that I can end this and the pain can finally go away? I’m really just sick and tired of everything, I want this over with.”

  She shook her head in the reflection. “I really don’t know, I’m sorry.”

  I held up the gem. “You have no idea what the darkest light is?”

  Violet paused. “No, I don’t.”

  “Then how come I think you are lying to me? How come you have to lie to me?”

  “It’s just so much more complicated than you could ever imagine.”

  “Explain it to me then, so I can understand!”

  Violet’s face began to redden. “I can’t. You aren’t ready!”

  Just as I was about to reply, I heard a knock at the door and I quickly put the gem in my pocket with my watch. My mother’s appearance disappeared from the mirror and I took a deep breath, hoping it wasn’t Tim again. I didn’t want to face him, didn’t think I could. “Come in.”

  It was Dan. Should have known. His face was bright as it always was, which I didn’t understand how it could be at this late at night, especially after training me all day. He was unique, I gave him that.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, not bothering to get up. I didn’t feel like that and formality had flown out the window once I told Tim off.

  He sat across me in the chair, concern now apparent on his face. He must have gathered I was upset. Didn’t surprise me, I wasn’t hiding the fact I was pissed off at the moment. “I saw you and Tim just now…”

  I sighed. I didn’t need another person prying into my personal life. My mother was enough to deal with. “Not this again. I already told you that it’s none of your business. Can you just leave me alone? Why do you even care?”

  “I just… want to make sure you are okay.”

  “You want to make sure I am okay? Then don’t shoot me in the leg,” I retorted. He made no sense, honestly. What kind of person will shoot another person and then care to ask them about their personal life? A psychotic one, that’s what. Though, other than how he deals with death, he didn’t seem that psychotic, but for some reason I had the feeling that’s what most people said about him. It was probably why Joss let him stay. He was as crazy as the rest of us.

  “If you love him, you should talk to him, that’s all I’m saying. And I would cover for you if Joss found out.”

  I raised my eyebrow. “What do you mean? How could you possibly cover for me? Joss can read minds.”

  “I know that you are hiding your thoughts from Joss. It’s something an illusionist can do easily. So the only person he would know it from is Tim. If Joss thinks something is going on, I can tell him that Tim is making it up, it was something that he wanted, not something that happened.”

  I stared at him, unable to believe what I was hearing. How could he know that? How could he know that and not let Joss know about it? “You know I can block my mind and haven’t told Joss?”

  He nodded. “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he will hurt you and I can’t bear to think of what he would do should he discover the truth.”

  I frowned. He cared about my well-being, that was weird to think about. “But you shot me.”

  “Yes, I did. But did it really hurt you? The way that Joss would hurt you if he found out that you loved Jack? That you would do anything to get him back?” he asked.

  I didn’t say a word. Yeah it hurt, but it was pain I could get over. The things that Joss could do to me, however, were far worse than just getting shot in the leg. I knew that from experience. I knew that after all the times I tried to assassinate him.

  I let out a sigh. “Fine. But I don’t think I will go talk to Tim. There is no point, Joss will find out and I will be screwed. He can still read Tim’s mind after all. So although you could help me out, I really doubt we could get around that.”

  “That is up to you, I’m just letting you know that if you do decide to talk to him, for real, I have your back.”

  “Thanks.” And that was probably the only times I had ever thanked someone other than Jack. It was probably because I never relied on someone enough, that and every time I did I got stabbed in the back. So for him to do this for me seemed a little suspicious. There had to be more to it than his concern for me.

  Dan nodded and left me there by myself in my room. He had a point, though, if I could block all the thoughts from Joss, Dan could easily talk Joss down from killing me. He wouldn’t have complete proof, it could just appear as something Tim wished, which he definitely did.

  So did that mean I could go back to Jack without Joss knowing?

  I bit my lip. I yearned to be in Jack’s arms, to feel his warmth. It was the only thing I enjoyed in my life and I didn’t think I could go on knowing that had been taken away from me.

  So I did it. So I got up and left my quarters to talk to Tim. To talk to Jack.

  ***

  I knocked on Tim’s door, my heart racing in my chest. I didn’t know if this was going to be a big mistake, if I should quickly turn away now or if I should lie and say I was there for another reason. But I had already made up my mind, I would tell him the truth.

  That I love him and would forever love him.

  It was as simple as that, right? To tell someone you loved them? Maybe not after what I had said before, but if Dan was right, if I was able to hide those thoughts, would Joss find out? Could Dan keep me safe? I sure hoped so, otherwise I was screwed.

  Beyond screwed, really, as Joss made it clear that if I screwed up, I would regret the day I was born. But the joke was on him, I already regretted that day.

  The door slid open. Tim stood there, rubbing his face. He must have already fallen asleep since we talked, though it had been over an hour. I guess he wasn’t as distraught as I had been, wanting to drink my sorrows away. Maybe he had some alcohol in his quarters.

  He was shirtless, all he had on were just his pajama bottoms. Damn he was sexy. I thumbed the gem in my pocket, trying to calm myself down. I couldn’t stand seeing him like this, I wanted to do things that I wasn’t quite proud of.

  “What do you want?” he asked. He didn’t seem pleased to see me, though I understood why. I had just broken his heart. I wouldn’t be surprised if he slammed the door in my face. I probably would have too.

  “I came here to explain what was going on,” I whispered. I hoped no one could hear us, that everyone else was asleep. “Or at least, what I can.”

  “Wh
at is there to explain? Your relationship with Logan is more than you want to admit. And your loyalty is to the Emperor and the Emperor alone. I get it.”

  I shook my head. That was far from the truth, it had all been a lie because of Joss. I didn’t want it to keep going, I didn’t want to keep lying to the one person who cared. “No, I did it to make you leave. I thought it would work but I felt horrible about it. In order to regain Neil’s trust back I had to leave you Jack, I couldn’t do it. I can’t do it.” I pulled him closer and kissed him.

  I must have taken him by surprise because at first he just stood there for a moment, then I could feel his passion match mine. We hadn’t been able to touch like this, to be this connected. All that had built up and I could feel it as I pressed my lips against his.

  He pulled me inside his quarters, letting the door slide closed behind me, his warm flesh against mine. He was so warm, like a furnace. Even after everything, I wanted him to be able to keep me close, to keep the fire inside my cold heart alive.

  I shoved him down on his bed, pulling my own tank off in the process. Joss was going to kill me, I knew that. But it was definitely worth it as I looked down at his blue eyes. They watched me closely, taking in everything about me. He brushed his fingers against my skin and I let out a brief sigh.

  “I knew you loved me Arcadia. I knew it had to have been some kind of act,” he whispered as he pulled me closer and kissed me.

  I pulled back my head. “What did you just call me?”

  “Arcadia, or I guess Myra now.”

  I stared at him. Jack never called me Arcadia unless he was trying to make me listen to him. Only when he got mad at me, but this definitely was not one of those times.

  Then it hit me. This man wasn’t Jack. He never was. They had lied to me, they all tricked me just to see what I would do.

  Which meant he could only be one person. The one person I hadn’t seen the entire time I was here. The person who was supposedly away on a mission. Apparently, this was his mission.

  “You son of a bitch! Thomas you son of a bitch!” I jumped off of him and grabbed my shirt and put it back on. I was on the verge of wanting to kill him, or at least beat him until near death. Then I would let him heal and do it all over again.