Ever After

by Kat Mizera

  2

  Tiff was uncomfortable so she spent most of the day on the couch, alternately dozing and watching TV. When the pain in her back made it impossible to remain prone, she wandered into the den to find Zakk. He was on the computer, watching video of the Sidewinders’ last loss, but looked up when she came in.

  “How are you feeling, babe?”

  “I’m thinking the Jacuzzi would feel good right now,” she said.

  “Okay.” He nodded and got up to turn it on.

  Zakk turned down the temperature in the hot tub so she didn’t overheat and they spent two hours relaxing in it before Tiff finally got out. She took a shower, washed her hair and shaved her legs. This baby was coming, no doubt about it, but she wasn’t going to tell Zakk yet. She was definitely in labor, but the contractions were fairly small and more than fifteen minutes apart. On a scale of one to ten the pain was probably a three, so she didn’t feel like going to the hospital yet.

  “You’re going to blow dry your hair?” Zakk asked in surprise when he came in to check on her.

  She smiled. “Well, yeah—I need to look beautiful if you start taking pictures of me and our little girl.”

  He chuckled. “You’re in labor, aren’t you?”

  “Maybe,” she smiled. “The pains are far apart and—”

  “How far apart?” he demanded, narrowing his eyes and taking the blow dryer from her hand. “Don’t shut me out, Tiff—I need to know what’s going on.”

  “They’re still far apart,” she evaded. “The pain barely registers. I could go on like this for two days.”

  He sighed. “Tiff, please keep me updated. I want to do this with you.”

  “I know, but I hated every minute of giving birth last time, so this time I want things on my terms. Last time it was Dave, and now it’s you, thinking in terms of keeping me safe and getting this over with. I’m the one that has to go through it and I really need to do it my way. Can you respect that?”

  He reached for her and pulled her close. “I do, and I already told you I want what you want, but I can’t make decisions if I don’t know where you are in the process.”

  “The pain is very mild, contractions are more than fifteen minutes apart and she’s still active.” Tiff touched his face. “I’m fine.”

  “Then what do we do next?”

  “I’m going to blow dry my hair and check to make sure my bag has everything I need for the hospital. You should relax.”

  “Okay.” He was uncomfortable with her desire to labor at home, but fighting her on it wouldn’t end well for him. He’d have to wait and see what happened.

  At midnight, Zakk dozed off on the couch. Tiff waited until she was sure he was completely out before getting up and making her way to the nursery. Everything was ready for Savannah, with a crib, bedding, a changing table and tons of clothes and accessories. The room was painted a soft yellow, with pink and sage accents. The curtains were pink and the furniture was white. She loved everything about this room and sank into the rocking chair in the corner with a soft smile. Hopefully she would be sitting here with Savannah in a few days, rocking her to sleep.

  The thought of the beautiful little girl she and Zakk had created lulled her into sleep and she woke with a start as a sharp pain shot through her abdomen. Grunting, she pulled out her phone and saw that it was 4:30. She’d slept for four hours and it seemed as though something had changed in that time. Her stomach was tight now, and the contraction she’d just had was more like a five or six on the pain scale.

  Sighing, she padded down the stairs and into the family room where he was still asleep on the couch. Leaning over, she touched his face. “Zakk?”

  His eyes flew open and he sat up. “You okay? What time is it?”

  “Almost five.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “Contractions are less than ten minutes apart,” she hedged. “Getting stronger but my water hasn’t broken yet, so I think we’re good for a few more hours.”

  “What do you want to do?”

  She met his eyes guiltily. “Walk?”

  He sighed but got up. “Let me use the bathroom.”

  “Okay.” She found socks and sneakers, slipping them on with a grimace. Everything was starting to hurt now, but walking would help. If she could make it until the contractions were under five minutes apart, they could go to the hospital.

  “Ready?” Zakk wore sweat pants, a T-shirt and a hoodie, his long hair tied in a ponytail.

  “Ready.” She took his hand as they headed out. To their surprise, Toli was just coming out of his garage, ready for his morning run.

  “Hey!” he called out. “What are you guys doing?”

  “She wants to walk,” Zakk said dryly.

  Toli glanced from one to the other, his blue eyes narrowed slightly. “You’re in labor?”

  Tiff shrugged. “But I think we have time—I’d rather walk here at home than in the hospital where they start talking about enemas and IV’s and all that bullshit. I want this to be low-key.”

  Toli nodded. “I will walk too.” He fell into step beside them, sensing Zakk’s unhappiness with Tiff’s decision.

  “You should do your run,” Tiff said, looking at him. “Don’t screw up your schedule for me.”

  “Unless you prefer to be alone, this is fine,” Toli said. “You’re my friends—I’d like to be with you in case you need anything.”

  “Thanks, man.” Zakk was glad his friend had his back.

  “You guys aren’t going to gang up on me,” Tiff snickered, eyeing them. “I totally saw that look you just exchanged and I’m on to you.”

  Toli laughed. “She’s too smart for us.”

  “For sure,” Zakk agreed, smiling. “But I’m still trying!”

  They walked for forty-five minutes before Tiff had a contraction strong enough to make her gasp. She stopped walking, her hand going to her stomach as she leaned against Zakk.

  “Babe?” Zakk looked at her with concern. “That’s only four minutes since the last one.”

  “This one was different,” she said, swallowing. “I think we’re getting closer.”

  “Hospital time?” he asked hopefully.

  “Definitely time to get prepared.”

  “Okay, I’m going to run now,” Toli said quickly, figuring they needed some privacy now. “Text if you need me!”

  “Thanks.” Zakk waved and then put his arm around Tiff’s waist as they headed home. They had to stop twice more as contractions made her bend at the waist, holding Zakk’s arms tightly.

  “Should I carry you?” he asked quietly, concerned with how pale she’d gotten.

  “I’m okay,” she said. “But we’ll probably have to—” She stopped abruptly as she felt a whoosh of fluid run down her legs.

  “Is that—” Zakk didn’t finish his sentence before scooping her up in his arms and heading back to the house as fast as he could.

  “Zakk, relax,” she said firmly. “This is normal.”

  “Once the amniotic fluid is gone, the baby could have problems,” he said, scowling.

  “Everyone’s water breaks and it can be hours before the baby comes.”

  Zakk ignored her, picking up the pace as they got to the house. He put her down once they got inside and she paused to get her breath as another contraction washed over her. She breathed deeply, closing her eyes against the pain. She could do this; although she hadn’t considered having the baby at home, the thought of enemas and monitors all over her while she labored was suddenly unappealing. She wanted to do this on her own; she just didn’t know how to make Zakk understand.

  Without letting him know her plans, she made her way up the stairs and into the shower, putting her hair up and out of the way. She’d gotten sweaty while walking and though it didn’t make sense, she wanted to be clean before they got to the nitty-gritty of labor. She’d just turned off the water when Zakk came in.

  “What are you doing?” he demanded.

  “I cleaned up,
” she said, reaching for her robe. “Zakk, honey, I need you to trust me, okay?”

  “Your water broke,” he said quietly. “We need to go.”

  “We will,” she whispered, reaching for him. “But I want this to be as natural as possible. Please let me do what feels right to me. Please?”

  “How would we know if something is wrong?” he protested. “Baby, I want to do what you want, but this scares me.”

  She sighed. “Okay, thirty more minutes. You can put my stuff in the car and get everything ready. When the contractions are three minutes apart, we’ll go.”

  He didn’t look happy, but nodded.

  She dressed in yoga pants and one of his huge T-shirts, not bothering with a bra. She sent texts to Tessa and a few other friends, letting them know she was close, and then rested her hands on the dresser as she breathed through another contraction. They were close to three minutes apart now, and it occurred to her that she was playing with fire. Her sudden desire for a natural childbirth warred with her reluctance to have the baby without professional supervision. She hadn’t thought much about the delivery itself; everyone had babies in the hospital and she wasn’t the all-natural type. There was just something about this delivery that made her want to keep it simple.

  “Tiff?” Zakk came into the bedroom and looked at her, his deep green eyes now dark with worry.

  “I guess it’s time,” she said, looking down.

  “Why do you look so sad?” he asked gently, reaching for her.

  “I don’t want to go to the hospital,” she whispered. “I don’t know why; I just don’t.”

  He looked concerned. “Tiff?”

  “I’m sorry,” she blinked away tears. “I know we have to go—but I hate the thought of going to the hospital!”

  “Why?” he asked in confusion. “You love Dr. Diaz and we toured a lot of places before we chose our birthing facility—what changed?”

  “I just—oh!” She gripped his hands as the next contraction brought her to her knees.

  He dropped to his knees with her, holding her up.

  “I just want it to be simple,” she continued, gritting her teeth. “I know it’s crazy, and I know a million things could go wrong but—oh fuck!” She let out a shriek and fell against his chest. “Dammit! That hurt!” She ground out the words as she squeezed his hands.

  “Tell me what you want to do,” he whispered. “I don’t know what you want.”

  “Call Tessa,” she whispered. “Ask her to call Dr. Diaz and tell her the baby is coming.”

  He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Toli, knowing that Tessa was probably asleep. He spoke quietly, one arm firmly around Tiff as she moaned.

  The contractions were coming harder and faster, and she suddenly felt the urge to push. Struggling to her feet, she sank onto the edge of the bed.

  “What do you want me to do?” Zakk repeated, realizing that they were going to do this her way, no matter what he wanted.

  “There’s a new shower curtain liner in the closet,” she whispered. “We’ll need that to protect the mattress.”

  “Shower curtain liner,” he muttered, hurrying into the bathroom.

  Tiff took slow, steady breaths as she fought through the pain. This wasn’t as bad as she remembered from last time, though she’d had an epidural at this point. She was vaguely aware of voices in the hall and she looked up.

  “Hey.” Tessa came into the room with a soft smile. “How’s it going?”

  “I’ve lost my mind,” Tiff looked up at her.

  “Rest assured, I will be at the hospital with an epidural when it’s my turn, but I’ve got your back,” Tessa said with a grin, dropping down to kneel in front of her friend. “Zakk said you want to do this here—you understand how risky that is, don’t you?”

  “Women have been having babies at home for thousands of years,” Tiff said firmly. “I want to try. If I push more than an hour or two and the baby doesn’t come, we’ll go.”

  “It’s going to be really hard to move you once you start pushing,” Tessa said gently. “I know you want to do this your way, but Dr. Diaz is at the hospital delivering another baby. It could be hours before she can get here.”

  “Tessa, please,” Tiff whispered. “I need you to make this okay—Zakk is terrified but this is what I want. Please help me convince him?”

  Tessa nodded. “If you promise you won’t be a hero. Promise you’ll give in if you push more than two hours?”

  “Ninety minutes,” Tiff said quickly. “It’s… 5:25,” she said looking at her phone. “If I’m not close by 7:00, we’ll go to the hospital.”

  “Deal,” Zakk said from the doorway.

  He and Tessa spread the shower curtain over the bed after taking off the sheets and comforter. He laid down an old blanket they used when they went on picnics and stacked a bunch of old towels at the foot of the bed. Tessa fluffed up all the pillows while Zakk helped Tiff lay down. He pulled off her yoga pants but left her panties on for now.

  Tessa went downstairs to wait for Toli, who would be joining them as soon as their friend Kate arrived to watch the twins, as well as Tessa’s daughter Raina.

  Once they were alone, Tiff relaxed against the pillows, breathing slowly and steadily. Zakk sat on the edge of the bed beside her, one hand firmly clasped around hers.

  “I’m scared,” he admitted, looking at her.

  “I’m not,” she smiled faintly. “This is the way it should be.

  “How will you know when to push?” he asked.

  “I’m ready,” she panted. “I think after the next one…”

  “Can we have Tessa up here?” he asked quietly. “I need back-up—Tiff, I know you think you know what you’re doing, but I absolutely don’t.”

  She nodded. “Yes, we can have Tessa. And Toli too, if you want.”

  His eyes widened. “That wouldn’t bother you?”

  She shook her head. “They’re our best friends, and this isn’t some kind of orgy—I’m giving birth. I’m going to need you behind me, holding me, so they might have to do everything else.”

  Zakk called for Tessa, who appeared immediately, her eyes wide. “You want me to help?” she gaped at them. “I don’t know anything about delivering a baby!”

  “The midwife called,” Toli was yelling up the stairs. “Should I give her the address here?”

  “Yes!” Tessa and Zakk yelled out in unison.

  Tiff laughed. “You guys, this isn’t as big a deal as you think. It’s going to be fine.” She had no idea why she felt that way, but she did. She’d never in a million years dreamed that she would want natural childbirth at home, but now that the opportunity was here, that’s exactly what she wanted.

  3

  Somehow, Tiff held off on pushing until the midwife arrived, a middle-aged woman with twinkling blue eyes and a long dark braid. They’d met her at several of Tiff’s appointments with Dr. Diaz, and she seemed both friendly and competent.

  “Let’s see what’s what,” Elsa Carlberg said efficiently. She examined her carefully and nodded. “You’re completely dilated and ready to go. Have you wanted to push?”

  “Yes, but they wouldn’t let me.” Tiff smiled through the pain.

  “I think it’s time. Dad, are you going to be down here watching or up there holding your wife?”

  Zakk’s eyes cut to Tiff. “Whatever you want,” he said.

  “Up here,” she whispered.

  He’d changed into clean shorts and a T-shirt, so he climbed onto the bed behind her and pulled her between his legs, letting her recline against his strong chest. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his hands on her stomach. Tessa stood beside the midwife, her eyes wide with apprehension, and Toli sat in a chair at Tiff’s side, ready to do whatever was asked of him.

  Tiff groaned as the next contraction hit her, her hands gripping Zakk’s. He held on tight when Elsa told her to push, wincing when Tiff’s moans filled the room.

  “She’s already crowning,”
Elsa said. “This baby is coming. Let’s go again, Tiff.”

  For thirty minutes, Tiff breathed and moaned, occasionally cursing under her breath. Zakk sat behind her, holding her firmly and whispering softly in her ear as sweat dripped down her face. It was Toli who got a cool wash cloth and wiped her forehead and cheeks. Tiff gave him a grateful smile before clutching Zakk’s arms and squeezing. The pain was pretty bad, but she didn’t mind. This was so much more relaxing than when she’d had the twins. Having Zakk and their two best friends with them was the perfect support system. She was glad Elsa had come, though, because now she wasn’t worried and Zakk seemed more at ease too. Elsa would know if something was wrong and they could call the paramedics; otherwise, this was perfect.

  “The head is out,” Elsa said firmly. “If you can give me one more good push, the shoulders will come out and you’ll have your baby.”

  Tiff squeezed her eyes shut and pushed. The pain exploded around her but she was focused on one big, final push. She knew from experience the baby would slide out easily after that, so she used everything she had to push. A guttural cry left her chest as she felt the burning between her legs intensify. Then there was nothing but slippery relief.

  “You have a little girl!” Elsa cried happily.

  Tessa burst into tears and Toli just stared.

  “Is she okay?” Tiff whispered, resting against Zakk.

  “Hang on,” Elsa was clearing the baby’s mouth. A moment later a small hiccup escaped Savannah’s tiny lips as everyone watched in amazement.

  “Toli…” Zakk looked at his friend as he sat up slightly. Without hesitation, Toli kicked off his shoes and crawled on the bed, taking Zakk’s place behind Tiff so that Zakk could get up and cut the cord.

  “Pictures,” Tiff breathed to Tessa as she rested against Toli’s torso. This, she thought to herself, was true friendship. They hadn’t hesitated or even questioned; they simply did what was needed because she’d asked them to. The intimacy might have been too much for other people, but Toli and Tessa fell into their roles as if this had been planned all along.

  “I’m on it!” Tessa reached for the nearby camera and started taking picture after picture, sure Tiff would want to remember all of this. Especially the one where a tear was sliding down Zakk’s face as he held his daughter for the first time.