A Younger Man (Mount Faith Series: Book 7)

by Brenda Barrett

  "Prayer is asking," Vanley was saying to Joseph. "The word for prayer means, to ask. Prayer is not a casual conversation, or just talking to God. It is not praise, or thanksgiving, it is asking God for something. I think we use the word prayer too loosely."

  "So you would interpret ‘The Lords Prayer’ as ‘The Lords Asking’?" Joseph snorted.

  "Yup," Vanley said. "Look at it closely and see. After acknowledging Our Father, everything else is asking for something: our daily bread, keeping us from trespasses, etcetera. Every single prayer is an act of asking. In James 4:2,3 it says, 'Ye have not, because ye ask not. Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss.'"

  He looked at Anita when he said that, and it hit him that he had been asking the Lord for her for five years and he had gotten nowhere. Maybe that was because they weren't meant to be together and he was asking amiss.

  He barely heard Joseph’s rebuttal. His brother Joshua, and Rose, and even Anita had chimed into the conversation, but he went silent.

  Really, maybe he was asking amiss. Maybe she was not the right woman for him. The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth. Surely, God would not do that to him, would he? Just then, the thought crept into his mind: It's not everything that we ask God for that He wants for us. Sometimes we ignore when God says no because we are determined to have what we want. Sometimes when we get what we want it plagues our lives with trouble.

  Vanley spent the rest of the drive wondering why on earth God would say no to him regarding Anita; shutting doors to them having a relationship when all he wanted to do was kick them open.

  *****

  The hotel was a luxurious boutique hotel owned by a church brother who usually gave them rock bottom rates for church functions. It had a one hundred and eighty degree view of the sea and was encompassed on the other side by rolling hills.

  It was much warmer than Mount Faith. It is nice to have a change of temperature sometimes, Vanley thought, feeling lighter as soon as he entered the hotel's lobby. He had succeeded in burying the contrary thoughts, for now.

  The checking in went smoothly and they got their schedule of the weekend's events. Vanley went to his assigned room. His roommate was a fellow pastor and a guest presenter for one of the sessions, Dexter Bigby. Dexter was a short chubby guy with a beautiful bass singing voice. They had been batch mates in university.

  Dexter walked in right after Vanley entered the room and laughed heartily. "You are my room mate, Bancroft?"

  Vanley grinned. "Yeah man."

  "The handsome and charming Pastor Bancroft. What are you doing at singles retreat? Can't believe you are still single!"

  Vanley had laughed, "I can't believe you are still single either. What happened to Laura Humphrey, that girl you were dating in college?"

  "She said the life of a pastor’s wife was not for her," Dexter said as they each claimed one of the double beds.

  Vanley nodded. "What is it about being a pastor’s wife that would have been so hard for her?"

  Dexter guffawed. "Laura said that everybody would want to emulate her and think that she was perfect and that would be scary. Her exact words were that she 'couldn't live her life in a fish bowl.'"

  Dexter shrugged. "As I see it, we were not meant to be together; so that's that."

  Vanley sat on the bed. "But you guys looked so chummy together. You were the envy of all of us single men. You used to finish each other’s sentences."

  Dexter pulled the drape in the room and opened the patio doors. "What a lovely view!" He inhaled and looked over at the blue Caribbean Sea and the white froth of the waves as they lapped the coastline.

  He turned to Vanley. "Sometimes what we most want and what God has planned for us are very dissimilar."

  Vanley nodded. "Indeed. I was thinking along the same lines, while driving over."

  "Actually, that's what I am speaking about this weekend," Dexter said. "My topic is ‘The Blueprint of Courtship’."

  Vanley sighed. "Would you say someone is not God's will for you if that person has been resisting you every step of the way for five long years?"

  Dexter chuckled. "It’s alright to fight for some things if you get the go ahead from God. Other things you just leave alone. Some doors are closed for a reason. You, my brother, can't see the future; only God can. Sometimes if only we would stop fighting to be with a particular person, we could spare ourselves serious heartache in the future."

  Vanley shuddered inwardly. He had come to the same conclusion earlier, but fighting for Anita had become second nature. He heard his friend but the fight was still in him. He couldn't see why they couldn't be together. Call him shortsighted. Call him obsessed. He heard what his friend said. He heard what his uncle said, but his feelings for Anita were hard to let go. He had nurtured them for so long that they were now a part of him.

  *****

  He found her sitting on a rock by the waterfall, a little before sunset. She was in a long white maxi dress; only her toes could be seen at the bottom of the dress. They were painted a light coral pink. She loved pastel nail colors. He almost smiled at how much he admired her.

  "Hey," he said softly, "nice spot to watch the sunset."

  "Hey," Anita smiled at him. She pushed a shiny strand of her hair behind her ears and inhaled, "I love this. I must do this more often."

  "What?" Vanley asked, watching as a shaft of golden sunlight highlighted her brown irises.

  "Sit and be still." Anita smiled sadly. "I have become this driven person who rarely sit and take in a sunset. I have forgotten to really live."

  Vanley watched her intently. "How did that happen?"

  Anita looked at him and grinned. He was in full black. His shirt was opened at the neck. He looked so manly and handsome that for a moment she forgot what he asked.

  "Huh?" she asked for clarification and watched as his eyes lit up in mirth.

  "How did you become such a workaholic?"

  "Oh, I... er... moved to Mount Faith at a time in my life when I was going through a lot of changes, and I had to deal with those changes." She looked at him, contemplating whether she should say more. "I was about your age. I was determined to move up through the ranks of the institution, you know. That took a lot of work and energy."

  "Is that why you aren't married?"

  "No." Anita looked down at her fingers and wiggled them, suddenly nervous. She had already blurted out to him that she couldn't have children. Couldn't he have been satisfied with that?

  Why was Vanley so determined to delve into her back-story? Usually, when anybody tried to delve into her back-story, she redirected the question and asked him or her about his or her story.

  She opened her mouth to do the same to him, but he was looking at her with genuine speculation in his eyes. She knew he was not going to give this up.

  "What about you?" Anita said cowardly. "Why aren't you married yet? Most young pastors your age are already married?"

  Vanley grinned. "Nice try. I am not married because I met you. You are not married because of some big secret. I want to know what it is."

  "I am not married yet," Anita struggled to come up with a reason, "because I...I guess nobody has asked..."

  "I have," Vanley said, swiftly cutting her off before she could continue.

  "I mean serious offers." Anita touched his hand. "It's not just your age Vanley; the whole thing gets complicated beyond that."

  Vanley covered her fingers with his. Her fingers were long, elegant, and soft.

  "That terrible secret?"

  Anita nodded.

  "So without that secret, we could be married?" Vanley asked her, turning over her hand and caressing them softly.

  Anita cleared her throat. "Something like that."

  "So, you wouldn't mind being a pastor’s wife? He asked softly. "My wife?"

  Anita's fingers were trembling she nodded. "I wouldn't mind."

  Vanley grinned at her, his dimples giving his grin a boyish charm. His light brown eyes were sparkling like
a light brown agate gemstone.

  Anita nodded, as if mesmerized. The darkness surrounded them as the sun sunk low into the horizon.

  Vanley squeezed her fingers and leaned in close to her; they were nose to nose. "Then I don't care what your secret is." He pressed his lips on hers. It was a soft kiss: light and fleeting.

  Anita touched her lips when he moved away. "Vanley..."

  "Just tell me what it is," Vanley whispered, "no judgment, no recriminations. Just tell me."

  "So here you are," Dexter said, coming up to them. "We are about to start the first session. Pastor Vanley, you are giving the opening prayer."

  Vanley got up and held out his hand to Anita who took it and got up with him, their bodies almost pressing together.

  Dexter cleared his throat.

  Vanley held her closer for a few seconds more. This was his dream in his arms. He reluctantly allowed her to step away and watched as she walked toward the pool area.

  Dexter shook his head and whistled as they walked behind Anita. "You need serious prayer and fasting my friend."

  "Shut up!" Vanley said, without heat in his voice. Then he realized that Anita had said she would marry him if she didn't have an issue. He was going to find out what that issue was and lay it to rest once and for all, if it was the last thing he did.

  Chapter Six

  "So, they actually did a seminar on courtship?" Carol asked over a loud sneeze that shook Anita from head to toe. Carol was reading from the singles retreat schedule and was poking fun at some of the sessions.

  Anita was curled up in the settee with a blanket wrapped snugly around her and a whole pack of tissues strewn on the floor. She had woken up on Sunday, at the singles retreat, with a sharp pain in her head and gritty eyes. By the evening, she felt so bad that she slept through the journey back to Mount Faith.

  For the first time in recent memory, she woke up on a Monday listless and feeling feverish and out of sorts. She had tried to put on her work clothes but she just didn't have the energy to do so. She felt positively awful now. She was alternately hot then cold and every time she sneezed her head throbbed.

  Her last stop on the way to work was her living room sofa. Carol had seen her condition and was currently playing nursemaid and quizzing her about the retreat.

  "So were there any old rich dudes there?" Carol asked, "or did you only have eyes for your pastor friend?"

  Anita whimpered. Her nostrils were burning. "Go away."

  "Nope, you need me," Carol said triumphantly. "I have gallons of orange juice just waiting to pour down your throat. Besides, somebody has to feed your dog."

  Anita closed her eyes. They felt too weighted down to keep open. She didn't know how much time elapsed, but she heard when Carol greeted someone at the door. She was not curious to see who it was; her eyes were not cooperating to move even a bit so she snuggled further under her blanket and hugged the settee cushion close to her.

  *****

  Vanley knocked on Anita's door. He was concerned about her. They had not gotten any time to sit and chat, besides that first day. She said she was coming down with something, and on Sunday she looked wan and out of it. When he checked her skin, it had been clammy to the touch. He was at her house because, according to Davia, she was out for the day, sick.

  He was about to knock again when the door was dragged open by a colorfully dressed lady in bright purple harem pants and a turquoise belly baring blouse.

  "Is Anita in?" he asked her. She was staring at him open mouthed.

  "You are Vanley?" She shook her head and then grinned. "Anita was holding out. You are fine... in a young sort of way. Is your father single?"

  Vanley raised his brows. "No, he is dead…and you are?"

  "Carol," she said brightly. "Come on in. You know, I was picturing you with a small potbelly and graying sideburns. That's how I normally see pastors in my mind's eye. You can probably tell that I am not a churchgoer."

  Vanley followed her into the house. The floors were all done in hardwood with various colorful rugs scattered throughout the open concept designed space.

  He could see Anita sleeping in a settee. Lying on top of her was a dog that looked up at him balefully then put his head back down on Anita.

  "That's Chudney," Carol said brightly.

  Vanley nodded. He didn't know that Anita had a dog.

  "Anita's sleeping?" he whispered.

  "Yes, she's been sleeping since she got in from your singles retreat. Looks like she has the flu pretty badly, which is not necessarily a bad thing. At least, now she can slow down a bit and rest."

  Carol looked at him slyly. "Want to have a cup of juice with me on the patio? I have a whole lot of freshly squeezed orange juice."

  Vanley looked over at Anita. She was snoring and clutching the pillow close to her. She was out like a light. He looked at Carol, who was watching him, her eyes lighting up in anticipation. He shrugged. "Why not?"

  "I didn't know Anita had a friend staying here," Vanley said, sitting down on a plump cushioned chair. The back patio overlooked a mini orange grove; he could see that some of the fruits were turning brown. Obviously, Anita was rarely around to enjoy her orchard.

  Carol poured some orange juice in his glass and sat down across from him, her brows raised in query. "So, are you sure you are a pastor?"

  Vanley nodded. "I am quite sure."

  "How old are you?" Carol asked, sipping her juice and looking at him inquisitively.

  "I thought it was rude to just ask someone their age like that."

  "I am rude." Carol retorted. "So how old are you?"

  Vanley grinned. He could see that Carol was quite a character. Her inquisitive face had a childlike curiosity that he found appealing. Usually adults shrouded their curiosity under polite banter. Carol was obviously having none of that.

  "I am twenty-five."

  Her eyes widened. "I would have guessed thirty; no wonder Anita didn't want to tell me about you. You are much younger than she is."

  "So, you live here or are you just dropping by?" Vanley asked, not wanting to dwell on any age related conversation.

  "I am just here for a while," Carol said, "waiting for a friend of mine to return to Jamaica."

  He nodded. "So how do you know Anita?"

  "Long story." Carol frowned. Then she laughed. "I think she would be mortified if she knew you met me."

  "She would?" Vanley asked curiously. "Why?"

  "Because I belong to her forgotten past," Carol said drolly. "I swear; Anita has gotten so weird and tetchy."

  Vanley's curiosity was stirred. "How was she before?"

  Carol laughed. "Personality wise, reserved, but then again, you would expect that after her er...thing."

  "What thing?" Vanley felt like wringing the information from out of Carol's mouth. She had paused as if realizing that she had given away too much information and was staring into space with a zombie-like expression on her face.

  "Do pastors have sex outside of marriage?" Carol asked quickly.

  "They are not supposed to," Vanley frowned. "That's a really abrupt change of topic."

  "And you haven't... you know... gotten your groove on with Anita?" Carol asked.

  "No." Vanley shook his head. "I haven't."

  Carol sighed. "You are one of the good ones, huh?"

  Vanley raised his brow. "You know of some bad ones?"

  "Gosh, yes!" Carol laughed. "I seem to attract some really weird people, usually the bad boys. I have never had a toy boy pastor before though. Anita beat me to that one."

  Vanley chuckled. "Toy boy pastor? Has a certain ring to it. You were telling me something about Anita. She had a 'thing' you said."

  Carol shook her head. "If I tell you anything she'll kick me out. I really need to stay here for a while."

  Vanley sighed. "I see." He was dying to know though. He was this close to hearing about Anita's secret, and from an unexpected source. He was musing so much about it that he almost missed Carol's change of
topic.

  "Did you know Anita means grace or favor, in Hebrew?"

  Vanley shook his head. "No, I didn't."

  "I researched it," Carol said wistfully. "In some Hindu cultures it's also a boy name. I was heavily into names and their meanings one time. Actually, Anita was the one who got me into it."

  Carol got up and walked over to the steps and inhaled. "I am feeling so old telling you this, but," she winked at Vanley, "life is always full of surprises."

  Vanley nodded. "I know."

  Carol shook her head. "You have no idea." Then she switched back into Carol mode. "Do you see any gray hair in my 'fro?"

  Vanley laughed. "No, I don't. Tell me more about Anita. I mean the stuff that you can tell that won't get you kicked out of the house."

  "It's so sweet how earnest you are about her," Carol said, looking back at him.

  Vanley leaned forward and raised his eyebrow. "Are you going to tell me?"

  "Sure. Why not?" Carol had a far away look in her eyes. "I fancied myself a model back in the days. You can see that I had it, can't you?"

  "You still have it," Vanley said, looking at her smooth nut-brown skin and her wide expressive eyes, her straight nose, and her plump lips that looked like they were on the verge of a smile.

  "Good answer," Carol laughed, "but then again you like older women, don't you?"

  Vanley chuckled. He didn't have a type; he just liked Anita. "You were saying about back in the days?"

  "Well, I did some modeling for department stores mostly. Somebody encouraged me to sign up for Pulse. It was the only modeling agency in Jamaica at the time. They had an audition for a toothpaste commercial, and they wanted to use local people, so I whitened my teeth with baking soda and hydrogen peroxide. My mother suggested it." She looked at Vanley and grinned. "It works by the way…free tip, even though I see that you don't need it.

  Anyhow, I went to this building…they had a few businesses there, including a school. Man! At that time they had quite a few women auditioning. I was at the back of the line because, as usual, I was late. I saw Anita walking up a flight of stairs near where I stood. I...I...," Carol stuttered, like she was searching for the right words to say, "went over to Anita and said hi. We, er...connected. You know."