The Journey is Our Home

by Kathy Miner

  “I thought I heard voices,” Veda said. “Hi, Luc. I’ve got the tincture your mom asked for ready to go.”

  Cass looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “So you two are already trading? You could have let me know.”

  Luc fell back on his all-purpose shrug. “That was between my mom and Miss Veda. And now I owe you, so when do you want to start?”

  Cass looked up at the sky. “Weather looks like it’s going to hold clear, so how about this afternoon? Maybe in a couple hours?”

  Luc nodded. Then, he looked past her and frowned. “Miss Veda, you don’t look so good. Maybe you should sit down?”

  Veda was staring, as slack-faced as Luc had been moments before, and Cass knew what that meant. As Veda would put it, the “sight was upon her,” and she’d snap out of it when she was good and ready. Cass steered her towards one of the kitchen chairs and eased her round body into it, then spoke over her shoulder to Luc. “She’s okay. She’s having a vision.” She made a wry face at him. “Welcome to our world.”

  “Dang,” he breathed. He moved to stand on the other side of Veda, taking her hand and patting it gently. “Must be weird, living with you. I mean,” another blush, “Visions and ghosts and such. You sure she’s not having a seizure or something? Zeb’s little sister used to have those what-ever-you-call-‘ems – petit mal seizures. They looked just like this.”

  “Huh. I never thought to ask her if she’d been checked out by a doctor. I suppose if you hooked her up to a machine, there would be some abnormal neurological activity, but this is a vision. She says she’s had them her whole life, and she always comes out with information to share, though it doesn’t always make sense.”

  Just then, Veda shuddered and sucked in a huge breath of air. She swayed in the chair, and Cass steadied her with an arm around her plump, soft shoulders. Luc picked up the speed on his hand-patting. After a few moments, Veda lifted a hand to rub at her forehead, and Cass hurried to get her a drink of water. Veda sipped, sighed again, then looked up.

  “Well, then.”

  Cass waited, but in vain. “That’s it? You usually talk my ear off about what you see. Did you not see something this time?”

  “I saw.” Veda sipped again. She looked up at Cass, then looked at Luc, then back at Cass. “No need to share everything, now is there? Luc, dearest boy, your mom’s tinctures are right here on the table in this box. Mind you don’t break them – they’re in glass bottles. I’m sure we’ve kept you long enough.”

  Luc picked up the box, then stood uncertainly, holding it. “You sure you’re all right? You don’t need to go lay down or anything? I feel bad, leaving.”

  Veda gave him a very warm, very fond smile, but shooed him off. “You’ve done enough, sweetheart. Give your mama and daddy my regards.”

  He nodded, then nodded at Cass. “I’ll see you this afternoon at the marina, right?”

  “That’ll be great. See you then.”

  She shut the door behind him, then wheeled on Veda, eyes narrowed. “’Dearest boy?’ ‘Sweetheart?’ Just what are you up to?”

  “What? He is dear and sweet, and it doesn’t hurt to let him know that others appreciate him.”

  Her innocent expression would have fooled anyone but Cass, who was playing with an unfair advantage. She checked in briefly with her guides, and sure enough. “You are so lying to me.”

  Veda sighed. “’Lying’ is such an ugly word.”

  “If the shoe fits, Veda.”

  Veda took another leisurely sip of her water. “For right now, what I saw is none of your business. Now.” She leaned forward, all business, and picked up the silk bag that held her Tarot cards. “Did you want a reading or not?”

  Time enough to weasel it out of her, Cass decided. “Yes,” she answered. “But I want you to read for Jack, not for me. I can check in with my guides when I choose a course of action. I want as much information as possible on what’s happening with Jack, and what his mindset is, so I can try to figure out what he’ll do.”

  Veda folded her lips, but nodded. “Very well,” she said. “I don’t usually hold with absent readings, but I do see your point. If the spirits cooperate, we’ll read for him.” She handed Cass the deck. “Choose a significator for him, then.”

  Cass shuffled through the familiar cards, looking for one in particular. When she found it, she handed it to Veda, who raised her eyebrows. “The Knight of Wands? Usually the Knight of Cups represents a brother.”

  Cass shook her head and tapped the card. “This fits. I’m sure.”

  Veda put the significator card in the center of the table, then took the rest of the deck from Cass. As she shuffled, she began the mantra that Cass had heard thousands of times, the words Veda started every reading with. “Tarot cards are not all-powerful, nor are they evil. They can offer insight into the events in your life and guidance when we need to make decisions, but they do not have all the answers. Tarot is a method of using your own intuition to better understand your past, present or future, as well as the lives of the people dear to you. They can be a light in the darkness, but only if you’re willing to see.” She paused, then asked, “What is your question?”

  Cass had thought about this; questions were very important. “What do I need to know about Jack?”

  Veda nodded her approval, then shuffled three more times and set the cards in front of Cass. Cass cut the cards, then sat back and watched while Veda dealt. As always, she dealt out all ten cards in the Celtic Cross spread, then paused once more with her hand resting over the cards. “The future is mutable. What is portrayed here represents only one possible future, the likely outcome given the events currently in motion. Nothing is written in stone. Do you understand?”

  Cass nodded. Then, she watched with growing dismay as Veda flipped the cards over one by one. By the time she reached the tenth card, Cass was nearly hyperventilating.

  “Never mind,” she said, reaching to push the cards away, to negate the reading, to un-see what she’d already seen. “This was a terrible idea –”

  Quick as a snake, Veda swatted her hand. “Don’t touch them. What do I always tell you about Tarot? What do I always tell everybody about Tarot?”

  “’The future can be changed by anyone willing to make the effort, but only if they have the facts,’” Cass quoted meekly. She stared at the cards, then spoke again, her voice barely above a whisper. “Have you ever seen a reading that was completely Major Arcana?”

  “Not completely.” Veda reached to tap the Ten of Swords, and Cass blanched.

  “Jesus, Veda, that’s only the worst card in the Tarot!” She flinched when Veda reached to snap her on the top of the head with her deceptively soft fingers, a gesture she hadn’t employed since Cass had been a belligerent teenager.

  “You settle yourself down, now. This is not a terrible reading. I know there are a lot of big-hitters here, but it’s all about context.” She touched Cass’s hand, her voice gentler. “Honey, he’s in trouble. You already knew that. Let’s see what we can learn about it.”

  Cass nodded, gulping back the huge, childish sobs that wanted to rise out of her chest. Veda was right. If she wanted to help Jack, she had to get calm, and get clear. “I’m sorry. I’m just scared I’ll lose him again, and I haven’t even found him yet.”

  “I know, honey. Let’s find out what we can do to help.” She touched two cards: The Hanged Man, and The Fool. “Whatever the situation is that he’s in, he’s a willing sacrifice, in a sense. He’s willing to endure pain and personal hardship to achieve his goal.” Her eyes narrowed, and focused on something far-away. “And to protect his friends. He would do anything to keep them safe.”

  She shook her head a little, then tapped The Fool again. “A traveler that didn’t watch where he was going,” she said, then shot Cass a stern look. “Sounds like someone else I know, haring off into God knows what. One might think you two were related.” Her fingers lingered on The Fool. “He’s determined to travel down a certain path, and righ
t now, he’s ignoring all the warning signs. This speaks to his soul journey, Cass. He needs to learn to listen to Wisdom.”

  Her fingers touched another card: The Devil. “This card represents what stands in Jack’s way, and I’m reading two different meanings. Very rarely is The Devil read literally, but in this case, he’s dealing with someone who is the antithesis of good, someone who wants to upset the harmony of nature, just because he can. Young,” she said, frowning. “I’m getting the words, ‘Rotten little shit,’ though that doesn’t really convey the depth of this young man’s nastiness. He’s completely controlled by fear, and he’s desperate to recreate the world as he knew it before. He wants to feel safe and in control, and he’ll do anything to achieve that end.”

  She was quiet for a moment, thinking, then went on. “On another level, this card also speaks to Jack’s soul journey. He needs to watch out for the quick fix he’ll be offered to his problems, the way of violence and destruction. It might get him what he wants in the short term, but at a terrible price.”

  She straightened with determined cheer, and reached to touch another card: The Lovers. “As you know, this card isn’t limited to romantic love. It can also refer to a union of opposites, a close bond between people, especially when there’s been a barrier or obstacle between the two souls involved. This is his goal, the reason all of this is in motion.” She smiled at Cass. “In short, he’s looking for you.”

  Cass pressed her hands over her heart, where the ancient adoration for a big brother still resided. When she was little, before her “imaginary friend problem” had revealed itself, she had thought he hung the moon and the stars in the sky. Even after the trouble began, he’d been her longest-lasting ally. The day he had drawn back from her, a frown on his face and disappointment in his eyes, had been the loneliest day of her life.

  Veda rested her finger next on the Death card and looked up at Cass. “You know better than to be afraid of this. Almost everyone I read these days has this card come up.”

  Cass nodded. “Profound change. An end to the way things once were.”

  Veda nodded back. “Yes. Very rarely does it signify physical death, though I’ve seen exceptions to that lately. Now tell me what the position of this card tells us.”

  Cass frowned down at the spread. She didn’t read the cards, though Veda had tried to teach her. For the way Cass worked, they just got in the way. Nevertheless, she’d picked up a lot over the years. She reached out and touched Death, too. “This lies beneath the significator. It describes the foundation for the current situation.”

  “Exactly. Your brother went through a profound change, and it set him on this path.” Veda touched the next card, the dread Ten of Swords. “And this?”

  Cass’s heart began to pound again, but this time in excitement. Now that she was looking at the cards in context, she was seeing what Veda meant. “What is behind him. Events in the recent past that are in the process of being completed.”

  Veda tapped the Ten of Swords again, which didn’t seem so dread now. “Cass, honey, whatever he’s going through right now doesn’t compare to what he has already survived. He hit rock bottom, but he’s on his way out of it.” She puffed out a breath of air. “That doesn’t mean he’s not in danger now, but according to the cards, he’s been through worse.”

  She touched two more cards, both of them upside-down. “The Magician, reversed,” she murmured. “Again, I’m getting two layers of meaning from this. Jack is dealing with someone who is willing to exploit everyone around him for gain. He’s also facing that same tendency in himself. He can be a bit manipulative, I see.”

  Cass rolled her eyes. “You don’t know the half of it.” She reached out to touch the next upside-down card herself. “The Tower. I know enough to be glad this is reversed.”

  “Yes. Upright, it foretells catastrophe. In this position, and from where it lies in the spread, he’s still facing adversity and disruption of his plans, but to a lesser degree.”

  She touched the second-to-the-last card, and for the first time since she had started the reading, she beamed her beautiful, joyous smile. “Strength. He has everything he needs to prevail, both over himself and over the adversary he’s facing: courage, determination, defiance, and most importantly, moral strength. Whether or not he’ll make the right choices remains to be seen. But this bodes well.”

  Veda rested her hand on the last card in the spread. “And so. This card reveals what will happen, based on all the influences currently in motion. Justice.” She looked at Cass. “This is Divine Justice, as opposed to human justice. What should be, will be. If your brother stays true to his moral compass, if he chooses the side of creation and love, even if destruction and fear would get him what he wants in the short term, he will triumph.”

  Cass leaned forward on her elbows and took it all in, absorbing, thinking. Then, to Veda. “Okay. One card, one question.”

  Veda’s chin jutted out, but she nodded and started shuffling. “Ask.”

  “What’s my role in all this?”

  Veda pulled the top card off the deck and put it right in front of Cass. She stared down at it. “Temperance? I’m supposed to just be patient? You’ve got to be kidding me!”

  The look on Veda’s face told her, even before her guides gave her a nudge. “Veda. You palmed that card.” She pointed at the pile of cards, still in Veda’s hand. “Show me the real answer.”

  Veda flipped the card over on top of Temperance, but didn’t look at it. Her chin was wobbling, and tears sheened her eyes. “I worry so for you, when you go.”

  Cass looked down at the Six of Swords, the image of a woman paddling a boat under cover of darkness. A journey of uncertain outcome. She reached across the table, pushing the cards to the side to take Veda’s hands.

  “I have to go. If he gets clear of whatever’s happening, he’ll head to Pewaukee, to our parents’ house. It’s the only place he would know to look for me. If nothing else, I have to leave a message there for him, telling him where I am now.” Tears spilled from Veda’s filled eyes, and Cass squeezed her hands tighter. “Tell me how to make this easier for you, and I will. But I have to go.”

  “I know that, dearest girl.” She straightened up and wiped at her eyes, then pointed a finger at Cass’s nose. “You promise to be back by Lammas. Swear it.”

  Just under a month away. “I promise. Anything else?”

  Now something like cunning sparkled in Veda’s smile. “And you don’t go alone. You didn’t ask anyone to go with you before, and that was pure foolishness.”

  Cass groaned. They’d been over this ground before, way too many times. “Veda, I didn’t ask anyone because I didn’t think it was right to take someone else into an unknown situation. I still don’t think it is. We needed to know what was going on out there, and I was the logical person to go. The same thing is true of this trip. It’s my brother. It’s my task.”

  “Luc will go with you.” Veda was once again sipping water, serene and sure of herself.

  Cass blinked, startled, then shook her head. “Not a good idea. For starters, he’s just a kid. Secondly, he’s got a crush on me, so it wouldn’t even be fair to ask. Third –”

  “I saw it.” Veda interrupted. “My vision. Luc will go with you. And he’ll save your life.”

  ELEVEN: Naomi: Colorado Springs, CO

  Naomi swiveled in the saddle for the third time – she had kept track – to stare at Martin over her shoulder. And as he had previously, he held up a hand before she could speak.

  “Was I doing it again? Sorry. I’ll stop.”

  This time, Naomi didn’t turn around right away. Instead, she glared. “You’re trying to pick a fight.”

  “Nope.”

  “You are! Admit it!”

  Martin just shrugged by way of an answer. His body shifted lazily from side to side with Shakti’s gait as they rode along. His eyes were hidden in the deep shade under his hat, but was that a smile? Was he actually smiling at her? Naomi’s mou
th tightened with outrage and indignation, and she huffed back around to face front. The nerve of him!

  The morning sun was soft and warm on her shoulders, and a tender little breeze stirred the leaves of the scrub oaks that bordered the trail. Wildflowers were rioting all around them, cheerful and vibrating with life under the true-blue sky. As summer days went, it couldn’t have been more perfect.

  Naomi hated it. All of it. The beauty, the breeze, the sky, and Martin most of all.

  For the last week, her spirits had death-spiraled. The trip over Rampart Range Road had taken three times as long as they’d planned. Violent afternoon storms had delayed them every single day, bringing dangerous hail and torrential rains, both of which did further damage to the already degraded road. Every time they hit a section of road that had been completely washed out, every time they had to backtrack and ride cross-country for miles and miles, Naomi got angrier.

  On the third day, Martin had asked what was bothering her. She couldn’t actually remember what all she’d said to him. She did recall snarling – she seemed to be doing that a lot these days – and she remembered as well the way his jaw had tightened, clamping down on words he didn’t say. The memory made her face heat in embarrassment now, but she couldn’t bring herself to apologize. Not yet. Apologizing would mean thinking. It would mean analyzing and admitting to herself what was driving her dark mood. That, she was simply not prepared to do.

  It came again – the grating, tuneless, muttering drone that Martin called “singing.” Naomi spun around so fast, it made Ben snort and shy. “Would you STOP it?”

  Her shout echoed and bounced down the long, sloping valley. This time, Martin didn’t smile. He grinned. He rode up beside her and reined Shakti in. “That’s more like it.” He dismounted, and looped an arm around Shakti’s neck, stroking her nose. “Let’s get this over with, then have a snack. I’m starving.”