Against the Grain

by Ian Daniels

  I slowly let my Glock slide back into place in its holster, and managed to get a good grip on the AK behind my back.

  “Derek?” the new guy asked, finally recognizing his brother in law to be.

  “Hey man!” Derek said excitedly recognizing him too, and giving him a big bear hug.

  “You can probably relax now,” the still familiar woman’s voice came from my far side.

  Tiffany had come around the other side of the house and was now walking up to greet me. She still looked incredible.

  “Hey… it’s been a long time,” I charmed her after letting out a long breath.

  “Hi yourself,” she rushed up and give me a great hug. “God, I’ve missed you!”

  “Tiffany!” Her Mother, Father and Fiancé RJ, all said at nearly the same time.

  She pulled back, giving me a covert giggle and smile with feigned innocence and a hint of embarrassment over the little slip.

  Thankfully the three trucks interrupted us as they appeared over the rise in the driveway and made their way toward the parking area near the front of the house. I noticed RJ’s grip tighten on his rifle and I pulled his attention to me by swinging my AK around in front of me. I kept it slung and pointed safely at the ground, but made eye contact with him and shook my head back and forth slightly, indicating that he should not be too jumpy.

  Karen no more had their suburban parked when the doors flew open and Tucker and Leslie ran out to greet their grandparents. It was as good a time as any for me to make a little escape back to my own group and give them some much needed family time and tears.

  “Everything go okay?” Breanne asked, noticing my hold on the AK in front of me.

  “Yeah, a couple of surprises for everybody I think,” I played her question off. “You get the gate all locked back up?”

  “Yeah man, it’s hard to tell we were ever there,” Jake said as he hobbled out of the back of the Dodge. The long, hot and bumpy ride I was sure had taken its toll on him and Drew in the back of the truck, but it had proven necessary and they seemed to be in good spirits. Jake made a show of standing straight up, stretching his legs and back, and noticed what must have been a look of concern from someone.

  “Nothing a nice hot oil massage from Julie won’t fix,” he grinned.

  “Massage yourself,” Julie said, coming around the front of the truck and throwing a water bottle to her long time boyfriend.

  Jake easily caught it and proceeded to drink deeply, and then dumped the reminder of its contents onto his face to wash away the miles of dust and dirt.

  “So who’s the hottie with the gun and chick with the big boobs that are staring at us?” Julie asked and offered me another bottle of water.

  I always had appreciated her straightforward attitude, except when drinking wine and playing board games at Nick and Breanne’s house back in our early college days. Then she would just get mean.

  “The dude is RJ, and that’s Tiffany, his fiancée. The scary guy is Stan, and that’s his wife Sandy,” I made the one sided introductions.

  “Before we get too friendly or relaxed, we need to do a run down of the fuel and water left in the Dodge and 4Runner.” I said, but Breanne passed a pad of paper over to me with everything already on it.

  “Did it while you were up here… What we really need to do is find a spot to use the bathroom,” She advised, with Cary nodding her head eagerly in agreement.

  “You got it. Stan, Sandy,” I interrupted the homecoming, “I hate to ask, but we have a few things to get sorted out if we could.”

  “Everybody remember to watch how much you say, let Derek and Bre handle… stuff,” I quietly reminded our group as the Meehan family made their way over to us.

  After full introductions were made all around and a well deserved and appreciated tour to the bathroom for the women was taken care of, we were all congregating on the porch, spilling over to the front yard, sharing what news and stories we had.

  The family had been isolated out here for a long while now, conserving what little fuel they had and not really having a reason to leave. The last of their distant neighbors had been elderly and died about three months back Sandy had told us.

  “They were old but tough. We did what we could, but it was just too much strain without any medicine and not enough food,” she was telling Breanne.

  “And how are you guys doing with that? I see some livestock, has it been enough for you?” There was no good way to ask some questions without raising any suspicions, even if we were the ones that had brought their own family back to them.

  “We’ve done alright. Always had a little extra put away and living out here made us buy in bulk every time we did need something,” Sandy answered, only to be interrupted by her husband.

  “Things have gotten tight lately for everyone. How is it that you’ve all done as well as you have?”

  It was a fair question, although I didn’t like the possible innuendo I thought I was hearing in it.

  “Oh about the same as you I guess,” Breanne averted easily. “We’ve got a couple flocks of chickens and the neighbors have some other stuff, so we share what we can. How’s the fishing been in lake back there?” She had a serious talent of disarming suspicious people.

  Breanne and Drew talked with Stan about fishing for a while until she saw me looking up at the sky, reading the sunlight. I had actually glanced at Jake’s wrist watch just a few minutes before, but I liked the show.

  “Looks like its about four or so, we might want to give a little thought to tonight,” I prodded the conversation along in Breanne’s direction who came down from the porch to stand with me.

  “That’s right, what are your plans, are you going back home? Why don’t you stay here tonight at least?” Sandy asked us.

  “Sandy…” Stan tried to remind his well meaning wife.

  I smiled and nodded to him my understanding, trying my own disarming tactic.

  “If it would be okay, we’d rather not hit the roads at night,” I filled in. “We’re pretty self sufficient, so we shouldn’t be a bother.”

  “Don’t even say that! You got my family back to us. You can stay as long as you want!” Sandy said again, ignoring her husband’s attempts at restraint.

  “How are you set for security?” I turned to Stan. I wasn’t going to be able to beat around the bush on this with him, so I figured the direct approach would be best.

  “It’s pretty quiet these days. We haven’t seen anybody out on the road in a long time, but if anyone noticed you all driving out this way and decided to follow… did you see anyone on your way out here?” Stan asked me.

  Great, he was still going to be the same passive aggressive dick to me that he always had been. I guess some things never changed. His question did jog my memory though and as I answered him, I reached over and popped the magazine out of Jake’s shotgun to make sure he had reloaded it.

  “We ran into a little trouble a ways back toward town, didn’t see anyone or anything after driving through Wilcox though.”

  “Umm, what’s it like in town? Are things getting restored? Going back to normal?” Tiffany’s timid question seemingly caught everyone off guard.

  Everyone but Breanne, Derek and I somehow suddenly and conveniently found something very interesting near the ground to study, as one by one they all averted their eyes downward. We all knew that they were alone out here, but I don’t think anyone really had figured on just how much their complete and utter isolation had kept them out of the loop. As ever, I was the bearer of bad news.

  “In a word, no,” I shook my head slowly. “The city is still limping along; they gave up pretending that there was a chance to get full water and line power back about a year ago. Without outside help and materials, they just couldn’t keep up.”

  “It can’t really be that bad,” the knowing look on Stan’s face belied the words coming out of his mouth.

  “I’m sorry, but how do you not know that there is no recovery? Don’t you have radios?
” Breanne was shocked.

  She was maybe forgetting how well we really were set up compared to a lot of other people… all things considered.

  “We only get a few bits and pieces here and there, don’t really bother to turn them on much anymore,” RJ answered quickly.

  I was beginning to get the indication that the two guys here had been withholding some information in order to somehow protect the two women. As much as I did the same thing from time to time, I found it utterly stupid in this case.

  “But there are still people in town? People living and working?” Sandy asked us hopefully.

  “Well, kind of. There are crews out constantly cutting firewood for the steam plant. They managed to make the boilers run off of wood, but it only gets fired it up when it’s really cold. Some of the old buildings that were originally heated from the plant are lived in now for anyone that didn’t have a house with a good fireplace or stove. It’s not really a good service, I think they do it just to keep up the feeling of having some sort of utility system still in place that people can rely on,” I told her.

  Actually I thought it was a poor excuse of a reason to keep on going in a dreadful day to day lifestyle, a reason given by city officials to the few remaining people who were still under their watch. Then again, anyone who was left living like we did had to have some damn hard determination too.

  “How many are left in town?” It was Stan this time asking the question. Even he couldn’t help asking something that had obviously been burning in his mind.

  “Not many, maybe a third at best. Most people left the area completely. Some relocated out of the cities to stay with friends or families,” I gestured to the Harris', “but a lot of people just couldn’t hack it.” I related somberly.

  Everyone was quiet but attentive, so I continued on.

  “After all the hard living we’ve all had to do for so long, when the line finally snapped and it all came apart, it got bad. A lot were hurt or killed in the initial riots and with medical care being what it was… well then it got cold and not long after that the first wave of starvation hit. That was after a bunch of carbon monoxide poisonings though… idiots,” I added.

  “City’s all over tried to keep up appearances, but when public officials were being lynched after people started freezing to death in their own homes… after that, things almost stabilized for a little while. More people than anyone ever thought had put some food back, but once it ran out, or their gardens couldn’t feed them and the woods having been over hunted a long time ago… well that was the next round of starvation.”

  “The majority of those people are probably still in their homes. There’s no one left to miss them and no crews to go recover bodies,” I paused, realizing that the gruesome picture I was painting was getting to everyone, even Breanne and Derek who had seen it all first hand.

  “And what did Wilcox look like when you guys came through?” RJ asked, sounding genuinely curious himself.

  “Rough. It looked like they maybe had a trading post set up in the store and we saw some horses tied up. A few of the houses are still being lived in from the looks of it,” I answered him, thankful for the new direction the conversation had taken.

  “You didn’t stop for news or to check it out?” Stan asked, the demeaning tone returning full force.

  “Not with this group, no,” I lowered my voice, hoping the others wouldn’t pick up on the vibe I was trying to convey. I didn’t want to shake anyone’s confidence, in our group or his, but Stan was intelligent enough to catch on to my demeanor along with the carefully chosen words.

  “How about weapons? Besides your Sig,” I gestured to the bulge under his shirt, “how are you set for guns and ammo?”

  Stan scowled at the question and at having been made concealing his pistol. A quick glance to Derek, who nodded the okay to give me the information, was thankfully enough to keep him talking.

  “We have Derek’s old 270 hunting rifle that RJ has been using; my Wing Master duck gun, and my old service revolver, plus a box or two for each.”

  “Alright,” it was better than nothing I thought, “How about gas in your trucks?”

  “Maybe enough to get us back to town… maybe,” RJ answered.

  “Well we should be able to help you out a little bit I think,” I caught Derek’s knowing eye. “Do you mind if we set up camp for the night out here on the lawn?”

  “That’ll be fine. We don’t have much, but I’m sure Sandy can come up with something for dinner. What else do you need?”

  Stan still looked and sounded like he didn’t trust us, or maybe just me, but he was warming to the idea of us camping out here at least. I saw the opening and casually took a step back, which had the same effect as Breanne taking a step forward. She didn’t miss a beat taking over.

  “We’re pretty well set up other than maybe refilling our water… and why don’t we see what we can combine to make a potluck out of dinner?” she offered.

  As everyone started to go about their tasks to prepare for the evening, I walked over to the porch where Tiffany had been sitting on the handrail. I looked up at her from the front lawn. Her bright blond hair was tied back in a pony tail and her simple v-neck tee shirt and jeans reminded me of days long gone by.

  “Tiff, you got a minute to walk with me?”

  As we started walking down the lane towards the couple of clustered outbuildings, I could feel the stares from multiple people boring into us until we dropped out of sight.

  “So how has it been out here for everybody?” I asked her, trying to ease into the questions I really wanted to ask.

  I was looking to get a feel for what to expect when Derek discussed the option of moving from their home and joining us. I could imagine it would feel like suggesting they move to another planet if we didn’t address it right.

  “It’s been rough. Touch and go, good and bad I guess. My mom was sick for a while even though she’s better now. My dad and RJ are always out trying to hunt or fish. Then there’s my sister…” she trailed off.

  They hadn’t heard from Sydney, Tiffany and Derek’s little sister, since before the mail and phones had stopped working more than two years ago now. She had been at a college out of state. They still held out hope and it was probably one of those things that quietly hung over all their heads, especially now with Derek’s family here, Sydney was the last one missing.

  “And Derek told me you got engaged?” I changed the subject slightly to a new and even more uncomfortable topic between us.

  “Yeah…yeah I did,” she said awkwardly.

  I was of course curious, and labored to stay on track with what was actually on my mind, so I continued forward. “He did a tour, everything been okay since he’s been back?” I prompted.

  “Are you asking about him or about me?”

  Tiffany’s eyes never blinked and I saw that the spark I once knew so well was still clearly in them.

  “Tiff,” I smiled, “the type of looking after you need is not going to come from dumb ass questions from me.”

  “You have no idea...” she smiled back mischievously. “So if not for me, then I’m not sure I know what you mean by asking about RJ?”

  “Well, I’m basically asking if he is stable. If he was in any firefights or anything… what I’m asking about is if you’ve seen any signs of PTSD.”

  “No, nothing like that,” she said after a quick and genuine pause to reflect on the question. “They all went through the mandatory counseling when they got back, but he has always been really grounded.”

  “Good. Just one other thing... have you ever told him about our… history?” Even after all this time, I still had trouble finding just the right word to describe our past.

  “Let’s just say it never came up. What’re you getting at?” she asked.

  “I might need some help and with his background, I’m thinking he‘d be pretty capable. But if I’m going into the woods with the maladjusted fiancé of the girl I used to date, then I mig
ht want to know what I’m getting myself into.”

  That brought on another smile but a thoughtful, almost sad one this time.

  “The whole engagement thing happened before all this, and before…” she trailed off, unable to finish her thought. She was still the girl I used to know and I could tell what it was that she was getting at.

  “Hey, trust me, there’s not much safety and stability out there these days so if he’s it, and he’s good to you, then that’s a good thing,” I tried to reassure her.

  “Yeah but, you know sometimes I wonder and think about if everything hadn’t fallen apart, if things were different… and now seeing you again… and don’t say ‘trust me’ to me! That doesn’t help anything. You’re one of the few people I have always trusted and would do anything for, you know that.”

  “Everybody needs to have strong convictions…” I began to say but was suddenly very aware that the magic between us wasn’t completely gone as our eyes met.

  “I know, I guess I just feel… trapped… or stagnate… or something,” she inched closer.

  “You’ve been out here for a long time; I’m guessing most of that time you’ve been feeling pretty alone,” My words and tone were now coming out carefully, metered and methodical as I began to shape the dialogue. “You’ve had a lot of time to remember your life as it was, and now you have a lot of time to reflect on what it is now. Days and weeks turned into months, and I know you, the thought of stagnation, knowing there is an unfulfilled void, it’s built into a craving for old excitement and stimulation… but you’ve been able to keep it in check,” my voice lowered slightly as I took a half step to close what little distance there was between us.

  “So now you’ve found that you aren’t alone out here anymore and that suppressed spirit of yours is craving to be… satisfied, isn’t it?” I paused and effortlessly moved closer still.

  “Yes,” the whispered word escaping her lips was barely audible as the feminine shape of her body stretched towards me.

  Our faces were less than an inch apart as I continued on.