Heart Dance

by Robin D. Owens

  Saille didn’t want me to revive his MotherDam, and I did, and now I have lost him.

  We will get him back. His feelings are hurt. He is a good man. You love him. You will make it better.

  She hoped. If he gives me a chance.

  He will.

  Dufleur cried harder, letting all her pent-up emotions out, and barely had time to blow her nose and mop her face before the door opened and Ilex helped her out. “How did it go, Dufleur?”

  She twitched her lips up. “I succeeded in killing the virus. The Healers revived her. She is an awful old woman, Ilex.” She grabbed and held on to him and let him lead her to her rooms, murmuring soothing words—and sending her calming Flair as well as energy through their Familial bond.

  He seated her on the bed and sat next to her when she didn’t let go of him. She gulped, swallowed, and met his smoky eyes. “D’Willow was Father’s silent partner. That night . . . the night of the explosion, she let Agave into our Residence, demanded Father’s notes. She was the cause of the fight, the explosion.”

  Ilex stiffened, his face fell into guardsman lines. “She knew the security passwords to T’Thyme Residence?”

  “She said so.”

  “To you?”

  “T’Heather and Lark Holly were there. I think the Ship was recording the experiment. The SupremeJudge came in later. She might know now, too.”

  “Agave answers to the Wheel of Stars and his next lives and is out of our reach. GreatMistrys Willow is not.”

  Dufleur hugged him for using Willow’s new title.

  “Do you want to prosecute?”

  “I don’t know what the charges would be.” Tears began stinging behind her eyes again.

  “I’ll figure them out. Consult with the SupremeJudge. The old hag will pay,” Ilex said grimly.

  Dufleur sniffed. “As long as it is she, personally, not the Willows.I don’t want the Willow Family harmed by this.”

  “I’ll see what I can do.” He stood, looked down at her, hesitated.“Anything else?”

  “Saille broke our HeartMate bond.”

  “You mean he narrowed it to a filament.”

  Dufleur started, checked. “Yes.”

  Ilex raked his hands through his curly gray hair, strode across the room and back. “It seems we of the Winterberry blood are clumsy with our lovers.”

  “I always knew I was no good with relationships. That I’d fail at it.”

  “Don’t say that!” He squatted in front of her. “You may be inexperienced with good relationships, so you make mistakes. If you want the man enough, you will correct the mistakes.” His eyes were steady, unflinching.

  Dufleur dropped her eyes. “I want the man enough.”

  “Then you’ll do your best to correct your mistakes.”

  "I can’t kill D’Wil—GreatMistrys Willow.”

  “No. I think you’ve broken enough laws.”

  She winced, put out her hand. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t tell you. You’re a guardsman. You would have tried to stop me, and that would have—”

  “I understand.” But he was obviously not pleased.

  “I apologize for not telling you.”

  “Accepted. My temper will be raw over this for a while, but it will fade. I love you as a cuz, Dufleur.”

  “I love you, too.”

  “So you’ve apologized to me, and the hurt will fade. Go do the same to T’Willow.” Ilex strode from the room, and the door snapped shut behind him.

  Ilex right, Fairyfoot said and began washing herself.

  “I know.” Dufleur got up and rinsed her face, then made some herbal tea that would help the aftermath of crying, and drank it.

  She had to go to Saille.

  She was afraid of doing so.

  Thirty-two

  Saille walked for a long time, hurting and trying not to. Tryingnot to think, either. He strode the full width of the two-kilometerShip, then through a path cleared of snow in Landing Park. For a while he pressed a hand over his heart, feeling like it had been ripped from him. Then he shuddered. Dufleur had barely survived the attempt to pull her heart from her body. Despitebeing linked to her and experiencing her black moments, vague unpleasant dreams, and that awful nightmare, he hadn’t made allowances for that. Or that she’d lost her father hardly more than a year ago.

  Or was he making excuses for her? He knew her shield around her heart had been weakening, hadn’t she gently refused the HeartBond last time they’d made love? She’d known it was there, had even held on to it for a moment, then refused it.

  Why? They both had miserable parents—and, yes, time to admit he had resented his mother for not doing enough to protecthim from his MotherDam, for not fighting for him, her child. But he’d always loved his mother, recognized her weaknesses,forgave her. In his head, his heart had taken a little longer to follow.

  As Dufleur’s would?

  He was impatient and wanted his HeartMate now. That didn’t mean she followed the same timeline. And he smiled grimly at that. Dufleur and time. He’d never use common phrases about time again without thinking of her.

  Was she right? Had he willfully ignored what she was doing?To a small extent he’d wanted to pretend her greatest Flair was for embroidery. But he knew who she was, what she valued. Had learned of her and their similarities and differences. True, he’d had doubts, he’d hated the danger he thought practicing her Flair would put her in. But he’d always supported her.

  His offer was good. He’d have gone away with her. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t have lobbied for a change of the law in the city banning time experimentation, would have brought her back when that had happened. He couldn’t help but think bitterlythat it would have been easier to prove her Flair if she legally and openly experimented in the countryside. And loving her, living with her, taking her away from the places that echoed with her father’s death and his MotherDam’s cruelty, might very well have mellowed her. He should have thought of that before. Before she became so entrenched in this particular line of experimentation. Before she was obsessed with proving to D’Willow that she was wrong to smear the Thymes.

  Too late.

  His feet dragged, and he discovered he was tired, more spirituallyand emotionally than physically, but weary all the same. He looked around, saw a library, and entered to use the small teleportation area and go home to tell his Family that their worst fears were about to be realized.

  He teleported into his suite, and as he changed into casual clothes, he sighted a gleam of red on his old-fashioned bureau. His hand hovered over the gift the HouseHeart had given him, the ruby set in a leaf. That was his, never his MotherDam’s.

  Avoiding his busy Family, he went to the conservatory and strolled. He’d changed the Residence greatly since he’d moved in a few months ago. He’d changed himself.

  He was a better GreatLord than his predecessor had been a GreatLady. Squaring his shoulders, he accepted the fact that he would have to face the cruel old woman and fight her. It wouldn’t be easy or pleasant, and when he’d asked Dufleur not to revive her, he’d been thinking of himself rather than the Family.

  At that moment the Residence said, “There is a viz from SupremeJudge Ailim Elder from Nuada’s Sword.”

  His gut clenched. Dufleur had succeeded then. The SupremeJudgewouldn’t be calling if his HeartMate hadn’t triumphed.Pride for her mixed with dread for his Family.

  "I’m going to the ResidenceDen. Please have my mother bring the Family symbols there, the ceremonial sword and blazer, and my finest robes of T’Willow.” He already wore the ruby. The former D’Willow would swear a loyalty oath to him, or he’d banish her to the country estate where he’d grown up— even though he’d sworn an oath to her.

  “Tell everyone else that we are having a Family meeting in the ResidenceDen in a quarter-septhour.”

  “It will be done,” said the Residence. The air around him moved in a slightly agitated manner.

  Saille strode through the trees, the flowering shr
ubs, and arrivedat the ResidenceDen before his mother, leaving the conservatorydoor open. It would drain the plant room of heat and humidity, cause more work for the Residence and the Family, but he wanted the scent of life and living things, and would pay for that indulgence.

  The panel covering the glass screen viz to the Ship had alreadyslid aside. “Here,” said Saille, and the glass lit with the image of SupremeJudge Elder. She looked serene as always, and he couldn’t read her expression. Apparently his MotherDamhadn’t been too nasty already or the telempathic judge would have appeared more strained, wouldn’t she?

  Only one way to find out. He bowed formally. “Merry meet, SupremeJudge.”

  Her face softened. “I’ll remind you to call me Ailim. I am reportingon behalf of the Ship, Nuada’s Sword, and the Healers T’Heather and Lark Holly. Your MotherDam, the previous D’Willow, the current GreatMistrys Willow, has been pronouncedcured of the virus by Healers. The effects of the virus on her health remain.” She hesitated, but Saille already had learned a great deal from just those sentences. His heart thumped hard. Ailim, at least, must have addressed his MotherDamas GreatMistrys Willow. She wouldn’t have liked that, but would she think he would succumb to her will as before?

  “T’Heather and Lark Holly are proceeding with a full examinationof your MotherDam at Primary HealingHall,” said Ailim.

  He’d earned a little breathing time, then. “Time” again. He groaned inwardly. He was obsessed with Dufleur and time. “Dufleur?”

  “She is very weary. The official papyrus lifting the ban on the experimentation of time has already been processed.”

  “I’m glad.”

  “Yes. It’s never a good idea to legislate against human nature, and using a Flair talent is one of our most basic characteristics.” She smiled, then her gaze sobered. “But I wanted to inform you of several matters that occurred when your predecessor was revived. First, her health is not good, though she didn’t seem to accept that. I’m sure you will be able to speak with T’Heather when he escorts her there to T’Willow Residence. He stated beforeme and other witnesses that he believes the responsibility of running a FirstFamily Household would be too strenuous for her.”

  Ailim glanced down as if she’d kept notes. Knowing his MotherDam, she’d caused a scene if someone had crossed her.

  “Dufleur Thyme, who has been awarded the title of D’Thyme by the way, offered her opinion that you and the previousD’Willow could make appointments with T’Ash to utilize his Testing Stones to prove who is the strongest in Flair.”

  Relief swept through him. He hadn’t thought of that. The FirstFamilies were arrogant in their belief that the best determinationof a good Head of Household was the power of their Flair. That would be so easy. “I’ll set up an appointment right away.”

  A small cough brought his attention back to Ailim. She said, “It was noted that GreatMistrys Willow demonstrated little Flair, both prior to her entry into the cryogenics tube and upon awakening.” Ailim’s stare was penetrating.

  “Oh,” was all Saille replied, trying to keep his emotions perfectlylow-key and innocent under her telempathic scrutiny.

  Ailim smiled, and it was more sharp than pleasant. “I stated that I knew GreatMistrys Willow might be subject to a legal actionbased on abuse of Flair. Additional charges may be pending.”

  Saille blinked. “You did?”

  Rolling her eyes, Ailim said, “She made a great many dramaticcommands and demands, Saille. None of which should be pursued.”

  “Such as?”

  “Filing suit against Nuada’s Sword for draining her Flair.”

  “Interesting notion.”

  “But not correct.”

  “I would imagine not.” Friend or not, he wasn’t going to tell a SupremeJudge that his MotherDam had practiced her craft without the Flair that would give her insight.

  “Saille, she is a nasty old woman, but her time as a GreatLadyhas passed. Please handle her within the Family.”

  Could the battle between them involve a struggle of power between the old and the younger members of the FirstFamilies? Perhaps. But the current Captain of the FirstFamilies Council, T’Hawthorn, and the aspiring T’Holly were canny men and of the generation between T’Blackthorn and Saille’s MotherDam. She’d outlived most of her contemporaries, and still hadn’t been satisfied with the length of her life.

  Who could she call to ally with her against them? He still didn’t know the extent of her allies, but he thought his own alliescould overwhelm them, SupremeJudge Ailim Elder, Ship’s Captain Ruis Elder. T’Blackthorn, T’Ash, Holm and Tinne Holly. Those of the strong, younger generation.

  Of her allies Agave was dead, and T’Yew was displeased with her lying promises.

  But Ailim Elder was still awaiting his answer. “I will do my best.”

  “That is all any of us can do,” she replied. “Merry part.”

  “And merry meet again,” Saille ended.

  Ailim smiled, then the screen went dark and the panel slid back over it.

  His mother opened the door and gestured his relatives in. One of his aunts carried the ceremonial sword, another the blazer in its holster.

  “Your robes, Saille,” his mother said, handing them to him, bright scarlet shirt, trous, and long open robe with equally long sleeve pockets, all of heavy velvet.

  The rest of his relatives clumped together in small groups.

  He cleared his throat. “I know we discussed the possibility of the previous D’Willow being cured of the virus and revived. That has happened. She is undergoing a physical at Primary HealingHall and will be escorted here by T’Heather.”

  A grumbling murmur filled the room.

  He lifted a hand, and they fell silent. “I don’t intend to relinquishthe title or my position as the head of this household.”

  Tense bodies relaxed.

  Saille’s smile was wry. “We all know how difficult a person the previous D’Willow can be, so prepare yourselves.” He drew himself up to his full height. “I am requesting that we all participatein another loyalty ceremony.”

  “Of course, Saille,” said his mother. Everyone else’s agreementfollowed quickly. It was if they didn’t even need to consider the matter. Saille found his hands clenched around the clothes and eased his grip. “Thank you. That helps me more than I can say. I expect the previous D’Willow to swear loyalty to me also, or suffer the consequences of being disinherited from the Family.”

  There were gasps, but no protests, again lightening the burdenof his responsibility. “The glider carrying the former D’Willow and T’Heather should be arriving soon. I have been told that her health is not good.”

  “Will only make her nastier,” someone muttered.

  Neither Saille nor anyone else disagreed.

  “I’ll dress in the conservatory. The ceremony will take place in the great room where there’s more space.” He didn’t want his MotherDam in this room he’d made his own. Didn’t want to be reminded that the chamber had once been hers and she’d been the most powerful person in his world.

  He turned toward the conservatory and saw his mother place the small box with the gold ring her HeartMate had brought for her, which the HouseHeart had given him, on the desk. “What is that?” he asked sharply.

  She flinched. Her fingers twisted. “I don’t know. I found it with your clothes.” She gestured to the leaf on his chest. “I thought it was another ancient symbol of the house we didn’t know about.”

  He went over to her and kissed her cheek. He hadn’t figured out a way to discuss the ring with her. She’d need to be prepared.“I’m sorry I snapped at you. I didn’t mean to. We’ll talk about it soon.”

  The Residence said, “I have been informed that the glider from Primary HealingHall carrying D’Willow and T’Heather is on its way.”

  “I’ll go dress.” He entered the conservatory and once again the earthy scents wrapped around him, reminding him of all he had to lose if he mishandled his MotherDam—his Fam
ily’s respect,the Residence, his title, his own craft. The tension was painful.

  Saille fumbled with the buttons and tabs of his clothes. Finallyhe would meet his MotherDam as equals, squarely face the woman who’d scoffed at and scorned and belittled him all of his life.

  The woman who’d had power over him and hadn’t hesitated to use it. The woman who hated him just because he was a male and her successor.

  Fury with her, at all the wrongs she’d done his mother and his Family bubbled through him. He’d have to keep his temper under control, watch his Flair, too.

  He went to the open square of brick in the middle of the conservatory,which had been filled with potted plants, and which he’d had cleared so he and Dufleur could dance there. He sat until he was calm enough to lead his Family.

  The glider emblazoned with the arms of FirstLevel Healer GrandLord T’Heather drew up in front of the Willow Residence.Everyone was as curious as he, Saille thought. They crowded around the front windows to watch. He’d done his best to prepare his Family, and the general mood was nervous anticipation.

  His own mood was dark, though he kept a slight smile on his face. His HeartMate hadn’t believed in him or his love. Though he stood among Family members who loved him, he felt alone and cold and more than a little empty.

  A Willow footman lifted the glider door.

  “Who are you? We don’t have men working in the household,” snapped Saille’s MotherDam as she was helped out.

  “I’m Salix, and there are several male Family members on staff, now. T’Willow values us.”

  “Stup.” She snorted. “That will certainly change.” But she leaned heavily on Salix and on T’Heather, who flanked her. She didn’t look good. Narrowing his eyes, Saille noted that her aura flickered in unnatural colors—a result of her time in the cryonicstube? She wore a simple patient’s robe.

  His mother stood just inside the door of the great room, her hands fisting and relaxing again and again. “Mother.” He met her gaze. “Do you want me to accompany you to the door? Would you like others to stand with you? Or would you like to stay here?”