by Cherry Kay
He paused for a moment. “It was interesting.”
“Something happen?” she asked him, sensing something was off.
“Nothing too important apart from work. Where are you now?”
“I just got home,” she told him, finally getting to hold the phone in her hand.
“I’m on my way home,” he said.
“It’s past eight.”
“First to arrive, and first to leave, that’s my mantra,” he said with a short laugh.
“I wish I could say the same.”
“Is the work boring you?” he asked her with concern.
“No, it’s fun. I have more time to think of my next collection, whenever it’s going to be.”
“Why don’t you invite your parents here”?
“Work,” she said, “unfortunately, my dad’s pretty much a workaholic, and mama can’t leave now, not while paintings need to be finished. What got into you? Why do you want to invite them?” she laughed.
“Maybe you’re homesick.”
“Far from it,” she assured him. “I’m having a blast here.”
“Because I’m here?” he joked.
“That, and flamenco classes and the fashion editorial,” she told him. “Am I seeing you tomorrow?”
“Probably the day after,” he said. “I just need to finish this thing.”
“Always one for deadlines…”
“Say… did you have fun at the party?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Just asking,” he said. “Curious.”
“Of course I did. Did you?”
“Yeah, you were there. What’s not to be happy about?”
She smiled as she sat on the couch. “What is this about?”
He sighed. “Anita just had this brilliant idea of inviting you out for dinner somewhere.”
“Sounds fun.”
“With my parents in tow.”
“Oh… still sounds fun.” She wondered what this was about. Was it to get to know her better? He had told her she was the first woman he had introduced to his family in years; naturally they would be curious, right? Wasn’t it too soon? She felt that Alex was getting quite serious with her. Was he serious enough to introduce her as his girlfriend, this time?
Her stomach suddenly had butterflies in it. Was this really happening? Time didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was that he was committed to her already. But was she ready for that? She felt that she was somehow still uneasy about certain things.
I’m moving too fast, I’m moving too fast, even if I know that I like him, that I enjoy his company. There weren’t any hiccups. Why was she looking for something to go wrong? Wasn’t it a universal thing? That if everything went right, somehow, things were bound to go wrong at one point? Nothing was perfect, but it seemed that Alex was perfect for her.
Did he feel the same way? Of course he did, some inner voice told her. The man showed you he cared, showed you he’s in love with you. Can’t you get that through your curly hair?
“So, is that a yes?”
“You always make me say yes.”
“I knew you’d say yes,” he quipped.
“Alex,” she breathed out.
“Yes?”
“Are you really over Ana Paula? I mean I haven’t met the lady, and I’m sure she’s lovely and all—”
“She’s not important. She’s a thing of the past,” he quickly said. “I told you I’d like to see how things progress between us, and I’m in this for the long haul. Why? Are you afraid?”
“Afraid isn’t exactly the term I had in mind.”
“You’re cautious?” he corrected himself. “You think I’ll end up going back to her?”
“It’s not that…”
“I guess you’re as cautious as I am, then.”
“But your sister just invited me to dinner, and you told me about it.”
“I’m cautious, but I’m willing to take risks.”
She took a deep breath. This was a risk worth taking, right? She wasn’t losing sleep over Alex; in fact, she had the best nights of rest since she left American soil. “Alright. Dinner it is.”
“Great, I’ll pick you up tomorrow by six.”
She wanted to say something else to him, but she found herself tongue-tied, afraid that they would argue again. Wasn’t that part of every relationship? Intellectual discourse? A healthy argument? Maybe it was reserved for couples and not pseudo-couples. That was what they were, right? Maybe that was how he wanted it, too. To act like a couple, without the need for commitment.
She could still date anyone she wanted, if she wanted to, but she didn’t. What’s wrong with me? Am I stopping myself from being too happy? There’s no such thing as excessive happiness, right? I can choose to be excessively happy, she thought.
Little did she know, her morale was going to be tested the next day.
*
He smiled at her as she slipped into the passenger side of the car. “Hi,” he said, kissing her on the cheek. She kissed him back. Alex knew he was head over heels for her, and he was a lucky man to find a person who was as beautiful outside as she was inside.
“You look happy,” she commented.
“That’s because I am.”
“You’re not nervous?”
“About what?”
“About them not liking me?” she said.
He shrugged. “I don’t care what they think, but honestly, it’s hard not to like you. You’re fun and warm, and you laugh more than my father has in years.” It was true, and he didn’t need to sugarcoat anything. She was likeable in her own way. He saw the look of approval in his mother’s eyes. Ines didn’t care about skin color, or family background, as long as he loved her and was loved in return.
“It’s like you’re warning me ahead,” she said with a grin.
“Well, so you won’t think my father’s rude or anything,” he said, “He’s always been distant to me, as far as I can remember.”
“Where are we having dinner?” she asked him, and he knew she had changed the topic. Was he getting touchy about it? He was being too obvious; those damned insecurities were showing up, and they weren’t even halfway there.
“Some restaurant near her place,” he said. “I think I’ll like the food. She has better taste than I do, and that’s saying a lot.”
Alex gave his key to valet as soon as they got to the restaurant. He held out his arm for her, and they walked in together.
“Reservation under Anita Morales.”
“This way, sir,” the maître d’ said crisply. They were heading for a table when he heard familiar voices conversing nearby.
“I haven’t been able to extend my congratulations to you, Ana,” his father’s voice said.
Alex froze in place, and he took a quick breath. The maître d’ looked at him questioningly, and he just nodded at the man to leave them be. “Thanks,” he muttered.
“Is something…” Iesha stopped, seeing the senior Gonzalez.
He couldn’t look at Iesha, not after he had rebuffed Ana Paula the day before. What were the odds that she would be here tonight? Did Anita know? He quickly eyed who she was with, as she had her back turned toward them. He didn’t feel that his grip on Iesha’s arm loosened. His eyes darted back and forth, looking for the table where his sister and mother probably were.
He heard Anita’s voice coming from behind a column, and he quickly grabbed Iesha’s arm, walking towards their reserved table.
“Ma,” he breathed out.
“Hijo,” she said, “you’re just in time. Hola, Iesha. Cómo estás?”
Iesha stepped in closer to kiss his mother’s cheek. “Estoy bien, gracias. ¿Y tú?”
He heard his mother make small talk with her, as they took their seats. He wondered where Anita was. A few seconds later, his older sister walked in with her husband, flashing a quick smile, greeting Iesha and introducing her husband. Alex quickly took out his phone and texted his sister, the best way to be discreet about it.
Did you know Ana Paula was going to be here?
Of course not, Anita replied. If I had, I wouldn’t have reserved dinner here.
Good old Anita, she had always had his back. But this whole thing made him feel uncomfortable. He had hoped he wasn’t too obvious with Iesha. Iesha was busy talking to his brother-in-law, and he looked at Anita in apprehension. His father still hadn’t come back from talking with Ana.
Was the old man going to make scene? Make a few remarks about how Ana Paula was so amazing, or this happy now, all in front of Iesha? Anita nodded at him, as if empathizing. He knew it was also in an effort to calm him down.
His father came to the table moments later, greeting everyone, including Iesha. They ordered wine and some appetizers first, and Alex could sense something in his father had changed. The senior Gonzalez couldn’t be read; his eyes betrayed nothing.
Anita helmed the conversation. Isabela was going to start preschool soon, and their parents grilled their daughter and son-in-law with their choices of schools.
“So, Iesha, Iesha Thompson was it?” his father began.
Alex’s eyes darted for Iesha. This was unexpected. What was going on? He looked at Anita, and his older sister bit her lip, as if telling him to shut up.
“Yes, sir,” she replied in perfect Spanish.
“Where are you from?” Ildefonso asked her.
Alex thought his father would know by now, as his mother shared their children’s’ happiness to him when she could. The table had gone unsurprisingly quiet. This was his father’s attempt at small talk, and he knew that the man disliked small talk.
“California,” Iesha said. She sounded confident, like her usual happy self. Alex almost breathed out a sigh of relief, knowing Iesha didn’t feel pressured or anything close to intimidated.
“I’ve been there a few times,” Ildefonso said, “what brought you to Spain?”
“Flamenco,” Iesha replied sheepishly, and the table interrupted into muffled laughter.
“Flamenco,” Ildefonso repeated, with a hint of a smile on his lips. “And you are fluent in Spanish because of school?”
“My mom is from Spain.”
“Oh, really?”
“She’s the painter, Luisa Alves,” Ines quickly chimed in happily. “I bought a painting your mother did, just a few months ago.”
Ildefonso nodded. “A painter. I see. And your father? Is he from Spain, too?”
“He’s American born and raised. I’ve been trying to trace our family history, apart from the great-great-great grandparents coming from the South, I’ve researched they came from Zanzibar. Have you gone to Tanzania?”
Ildefonso shook his head. “I hope to do so soon.”
“Me too,” Iesha said. She turned to face him. “Should we go soon, Alex?”
Alex was momentarily caught off-guard, but he forcibly nodded. “Yeah, of course. We should.”
The rest of the night was filled with bearable conversation, thanks in part to everyone else at the table. Alex knew that his and his father’s moods had changed considerably, and that they were doing their best to stay civil and pleasant.
He excused himself to go to the restroom, when in reality he settled the bill. By the time he came back and Anita asked for the bill, she was informed it had already been taken care of.
“Alex!” Anita told him. “I invited you all for dinner.”
Alex smiled and shrugged. “You were too slow.”
“Thank you dear,” his mother said, holding onto her son’s hand for a second.
“Thank you,” Anita and her husband said together.
His father nodded at him to show his thanks. Alex actually wanted to go home, and go home fast. He had seen Ana Paula, with her back still turned toward him, finishing up dinner with her own family. They had only begun to stand up, when he heard her voice.
Ana Paula was behind him, ready to bid his own family goodbye. He took a deep breath and turned to face her, nodding once.
“Anita,” Ana began, “How are you?”
Anita forced a smile. “Ana, I heard about the engagement. Congratulations.”
Alex knew his mother was going to be her usual nice self, and she greeted Ana Paula like how a woman would greet a potential daughter-in-law.
“Ana,” Ines gave her a hug. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” Ana said with a smile. “I’ll be sending the invitations over soon.” She flashed another smile at him, and he nodded again.
As soon as she left, Alex saw the glower in his sister’s eyes, as well as the glower in his father’s. He kissed his mother and sister, shook hands with Miguel and his father, and walked quickly for the valet service, almost forgetting that Iesha was with him.
He was quiet during the ride home, and Iesha didn’t say anything. He was secretly hoping the car ride was going to be a silent one, but of course, she just had to ask.
“I thought you were over her,” she spoke up, looking at the lights passing by them.
“I am,” he said, gripping the steering wheel tightly.
“She’s pretty,” she commented offhandedly.
He didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to make an issue out of who was more beautiful, didn’t want to offend Iesha, and he didn’t want to praise her just because Ana Paula was there earlier.
“You didn’t acknowledge her,” Iesha added.
“Of course I did, even if there was nothing worth acknowledging.”
“You couldn’t look at her.”
“And your point is?”
“My point is… you haven’t gotten over her.”
“You don’t know me well enough to conclude that,” he snapped at her, and then he immediately regretted it. “Sorry. This is a bad topic.”
“No,” she said, “this is a good topic. At least I know where we are. Why did you invite me there? To gauge if your father liked me enough as replacement?”
“Replacement? What the hell are you talking about? I invited you there because I wanted an intimate dinner with my family. In fact, Anita invited you there because she wanted to get to know you better.”
“And you had no idea your ex-girlfriend would be there?” her voice sounded accusing, and he didn’t like it, not one bit.
“No,” he said, “Of course not. I wouldn’t have wanted that to happen.”
“Why?”
“Why?” he frowned as he made a right turn. “Why? Do you even have to ask? It made things awkward… you were there, and she was there.”
“But you’re over her, so you say.”
“I said I was over her, I didn’t say I wasn’t affected by her presence anymore. That’s what happens when you love people too much…” he stopped, closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath.
He saw Iesha look outside once more, her eyes no longer on him. At that moment, it felt like there was a chasm between them. He couldn’t help it. She was being annoying, like she was his girlfriend.
She didn’t say anything else, and he wanted her to say something, anything. The silence was deafening, and he realized the radio wasn’t turned on. He fumbled on a button, and the speakers blared some random pop song. He lowered the volume and looked at her for a few seconds.
“I didn’t mean that.”
“Of course you didn’t. You never mean anything,” she said. “And don’t tell me I don’t know you enough to say that. You’re right. I don’t know you well enough. I stayed here because I was idiotic enough to believe there was going to be something good out of this.”
“There’s something good out of this,” he said to her, “we’re here together, aren’t we?”
He heard her take a deep breath.
“I don’t even know what we are, Alex.”
He knew this was going to come up soon, whether it came from her, his sister, or his mother. He had expected this—and until now, he didn’t have any answer to it. What were they?
“I made a choice to stay, because of you, and this was something
that didn’t come easy for me, but I did it anyway. I wanted for you to show some sign of affection earlier, with Ana Paula around.”
“Don’t show your insecurities,” he muttered to her.
“Insecurities? Oh, you’re one to talk,” she told him. “It’s clear you paid for dinner so your father would think highly of you. Why do you have to try so hard to please him, Alex? Why can’t you be happy with or without his approval? Does he really want Ana Paula for you? Is that why tonight was hard for you? Because she was there, the ex-girlfriend that was and is still universally adored by your parents?”
“My mother doesn’t take sides,” he said. “And yes, my father likes Ana Paula; he had always thought we were going to get married someday.”
“But she chose someone else.”
“She wanted to choose me,” he said in a quiet voice.
“What?”
“Yesterday, she came to the office,” he said, “She tried to get back together with me. She wanted to call off her wedding.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, Iesha,” he said, “it’s one of those things women do. Be confusing.”
“She invited you all to her wedding. How does that work for you?”
“She invited my parents, and Anita and Miguel. I wasn’t invited.”
“Of course she invited you. It was obvious.”
“I don’t care. It’s her wedding, it’s her life. Even if she did invite me, I’m not going.”
“Just to show you’re not over her?”
“Not over her? I’m here with you. I invited you for dinner with my family, not her.”
“What did she do?” she asked him.
“What do you mean what did she do?”
“Did she try to kiss you?”
“She did.”
“Typical,” she said. “How was it?”
“What do you mean how was it?”
“Just answer the question,” she demanded as he arrived in front of her apartment building.
“I told her to stop. She was getting married, and she was being irrational.”
“But you wanted to get back with her?”
“Of course not,” he said. He didn’t like where this was going. It was a fight already, and it was something he wanted to avoid with her. He couldn’t even lie to Iesha, just to save her from feeling hurt over that admission.