She looked up at me before unlocking her door. It was hard to get a good look at her in the dark, but once she flipped on her living room light, I could see that she’d been crying.
“Well hold on. Something obviously happened. Is it something I can help with?”
“No, there’s nothing you can help with. I promise you that we’ll do this another time. I just can’t do this tonight. Please just go home, and I’ll give you a call tomorrow.”
She was begging me to leave, and I thought about turning to go back to my truck, but that didn’t feel like the right thing to do.
We might not have been together officially, but I felt like it was still my job to be there for me when she needed me. I couldn’t leave her sitting there upset and alone.
“Alexa, you need to let me in. I can see something is bothering you. Let me help you. Just tell me what it is.”
She looked up at me, and I could see many layers of pain within her eyes. I’d never seen a person look so sad, and I wanted to know what was causing her such anguish. Eventually, she walked into her living room, sat down on her couch and put her face in her hands.
I closed the door behind me and took a seat next to her on the sofa. I knew she was having a hard time with something, and I didn’t want to push her. I would wait until she was ready to talk.
Instead, I placed my hand on her back and rubbed up and down, letting her know I was there for her. I had no idea what could have been on her mind or what I needed to do to help.
“It’s my granny,” she said after a couple of minutes. “She passed away this afternoon.”
When it came to family, Alexa didn’t have much of a relationship with any of hers. For the most part, she only had a distant relationship. She had no connection with other family members.
The one exception was her grandmother, who’d she been very close to since she was a little baby. She referred to her grandma as granny.
As her granny got older, most of the family members wrote her off as nothing but an old lady who was more of a nuisance than anything else.
Alexa never saw her that way.
I tried to understand the pain she was feeling, but it was hard for me to do. I didn’t have any family to feel connected to and, judging by the pain in her eyes, I was glad I didn’t.
At the same time, I knew how she felt about her grandma. She was a really cool person. Alexa had taken me to visit her on a couple of occasions, and we had a blast. She was funny, and the stories she had about Alexa when she was little were priceless.
I hugged Alexa tightly, trying to make her feel secure, and she squeezed me back even tighter. I knew that this was what she needed.
She’s a strong, independent woman, but sometimes you just need another person there to let you know that you’re not alone in the world. I kept my arms around as she bawled into my chest. I played with her hair and whispered that things were going to be okay. She was going to be okay, and her grandmother was at peace.
I was saying whatever I could to try to help, but I was confident my words were having little, if any, effect.
“So what happened?” I asked once she had finally calmed down. “How did you find out?”
“I got a call from my mom while I was at work today. Apparently Granny has been in the hospital for a couple weeks, and nobody bothered to call and tell me. She probably thought I didn’t care enough to be there with her,” she told me, her voice filled with anger and hurt at the same time.
We spent the next few hours talking about her granny. Alexa shared her favorite stories about her and what she was going to miss the most about her.
Late into the night, she fell asleep in my arms. I didn’t want to leave her on the couch, so I carried her into bed. Her eyes were so puffy, and her mouth was hanging open so she could breathe.
I tucked her into bed and went into the kitchen, where I left a note on her table. I didn’t want her to think that I’d just left as soon as she fell asleep, but at the same time, I wanted to give her the privacy that I knew she needed while still letting her know that I was still there for her.
Alexa,
I just want you to know that I’m here for you. If you need anything at all, please call me.
Nick
22
Alexa
I had no idea how long I’d been asleep, but the sun was already shining through my window when I opened my eyes.
At first, I freaked out, worrying about what time it was and hoping I wouldn’t be late for work. Soon enough, reality smacked me back to earth when I realized that I didn’t have to go to work. My granny was gone, and my boss had given me the day off.
The night before was very much a blur. I knew Nick had been at my house, and I’d told him all about my granny. I didn’t tell him everything, though.
I didn’t tell him that my granny had passed away several days earlier, and my own mother didn’t bother to tell me until after the funeral had already taken place. I never even had the chance to pay my last respects or even say goodbye.
I was furious that nobody had the decency to call me and let me know she was sick so that I could visit with her before it was too late. The fact that nobody called me when she died was a slap in the face to me.
In all reality, I shouldn’t have been surprised that my family would act like that. It’s like they get a kick out of hurting me or something.
Putting those feelings aside, I couldn’t help but wonder how I’d gotten into bed. I didn’t remember getting sleepy, much less walking myself into my bedroom. I looked around, seeing if maybe Nick was still there somewhere, but I didn’t see him, and I didn’t hear him moving about anywhere else in the apartment.
I hadn’t been able to eat at all after hearing about my granny, and my stomach was rumbling. I still didn’t have much of an appetite but figured I better eat something. I wobbled into the kitchen, rubbing my eyes, which were still puffy from so much crying. On the kitchen table was a note from Nick.
While I was cooking my scrambled eggs, I couldn’t get Nick off my mind. I thought about how he had insisted on coming into my apartment when I just wanted to be alone.
I wanted to be angry at him for continually being so bull-headed, but I knew that was just the type of person he was. Besides, having him over had ended up being a good thing.
It was nice to have someone to cry to over losing my granny. It was also nice having someone to vent to about my mother.
Having Nick there allowed me to cry and have someone there to hold me, telling me everything was going to be okay. Having him there also let me get my anger out, which is something I have a problem with. I usually let it fester inside of me until it eventually builds up so much that I feel like I’m going to break.
None of these things did much to ease the pain that came along with losing my granny without getting to say goodbye, but it was nice to know that someone was there for me.
I appreciated the fact that he had been such a gentleman to me. I was in such a vulnerable place that he may have found it easy to take advantage of me. Instead, he tucked me into bed and left me a note letting me know he was there if I needed him.
I wanted to let him know how much I appreciated the gesture, but I didn’t want to tell him over the phone. I would go over there later that day and thank him in person.
23
Nick
I was sitting on my bed, looking at the pictures of Alexa that I had hung on my bedroom wall. Anytime I started to miss her, I looked at her pictures and reminded myself that I needed to be patient and hope that she would recognize how much I loved her.
I was deciding whether or not I should go over to her apartment to check on her when I heard someone knocking on my door. I jumped a bit, not expecting to have any company. I thought about ignoring it, hoping whoever it was would go away.
In the neighborhood I live in, it’s not uncommon for random people to knock on your door for one reason or another. After another knock, I decided to answer it.
&n
bsp; When I opened the door, I was at a loss for words. Alexa was standing on the other side. She looked beautiful. Once the surprise of seeing her there faded, I went into panic mode. Surely she would want to come inside.
How was I going to explain the pictures of her that I’d hung up?
“Hi,” Alexa said shyly, not looking like she was all that sure about being there. “Sorry for just dropping by like this. I probably should have called first.”
“That’s ridiculous. You’re fine. How are you?”
“I’m okay, I guess. May I come in?”
I looked back into my apartment, freaking out inside.
“Of course. Come on in,” I told her.
I smiled and opened the door so she could come in. I was so nervous. My stomach was in knots, and I was scared of how she was going to react to seeing her pictures.
I knew it probably wasn’t going to go well even though I only put them up to look at when I felt lonely. What in the hell was I thinking having them up in the first place?
Alexa came in and started looking around. I’m not really sure what she was looking for. I don’t know that she was either. Finally, her gaze fell on my bedroom doorway. She had her back to me, so I had no way to see her reaction, but she sauntered towards the wall, standing in front of it for a minute or two.
Eventually, she turned back towards me. She didn’t look mad or upset at all. The photos didn’t seem to have any effect on her at all.
“Yeah, about those. I can explain that,” I began to tell her before she held up a hand to stop me.
“Nick, don’t even worry about it. I know you’re not some crazy psycho guy. You’re the most passionate man I know. You just show it in some pretty unconventional ways. I can’t hold any of that against you. It’s just who you are. Anyway, I wanted to come by and thank you for being there for me last night.”
“Thank me for what? You don’t have anything to thank me for. I’m just doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I don’t care what our official status is, I will always be there for you no matter what.”
The sleep that she had gotten the night before had done her a world of good. She looked rested and didn’t seem as though she’d been crying nearly as much.
“So what’s going on with you tonight?” Alexa asked after a couple of minutes of looking at each other, neither of us exactly sure what to say.
“Honestly? I planned to swing by your place later to check on you, you know, to make sure you were okay after everything you were going through.”
I was still having a hard time believing that she was there. It had been so long so since she’d been inside my apartment and all of a sudden, there she was.
“So how are you doing?” I asked. “You doing better today?”
Maybe it was a dumb question to ask, but I sincerely wanted to know how she was. Unfortunately, it caused her entire demeanor to change.
I saw a wave of sadness take over her as she lowered her head to look down at the floor. I thought maybe she was about to start crying. Instead, she breathed in slowly and exhaled just as slow.
“Yeah, I guess I’m doing okay. I’m not good by any means, but I suppose I'm doing better than yesterday,” she told me.
I was worried about her and knew she was doing everything she could to keep her hurt and sadness to herself. I knew that she didn’t like to drink but thought maybe a drink could do her good under the circumstances.
“Listen, I’ve got some Old Crow if you’re interested in drinking those bad feelings away. It won’t get rid of your pain forever, but it’ll do the job for the night.”
“Old Crow? What is that?” she asked as I made my way to the cabinet, pulling the bottle out. Of course, the bottle was half-gone already. I’d already used it to try to quell the pain of losing her.
“It’s what they call bottom shelf whiskey. Just as strong as Jack but a whole hell of a lot cheaper,” I told her.
“Whiskey? You know I don’t drink that stuff,” she said. After a few moments of contemplation, she decided to go for it. “What the hell, why not? Pour me a glass.”
“How about we start with a shot,” I laughed.
“A glass, a shot, however in the hell you drink this stuff.”
I started laughing at her which, in turn, made her start laughing as well. She was so naive about things like that, and I always found that to be so cute. I grabbed two shot glasses off the counter and filled them with the whiskey.
Alexa sat down at my kitchen table, and I sat across from her, placing her shot on the table. She grabbed it and thought about drinking it but wasn’t really sure how to do it.
She watched as I picked mine up and quickly shot it, swallowing it in a single gulp. I tried not to make any reaction even though it burned going down.
She grabbed her shot glass and looked at it like she was already regretting telling me to pour her one. Putting it up to her mouth, she closed her eyes and quickly threw it down the hatch. The look on her face was priceless. She scrunched up her entire face and shook her head back and forth, her tongue sticking out.
“Ugh, that may be the grossest thing I’ve ever tasted,” she said as I sat there trying not to laugh. “Pour me another.”
I have to admit, hearing her tell me to pour her another shot surprised the hell out of me. I poured each of us another shot, and we downed them at the same time.
For the half-hour that followed, the two of us sat around talking and laughing. She added in funny faces and hilarious noises each time she took a shot. The shots had no effect on me whatsoever.
I’d been building up one hell of a tolerance since Alexa and I split up. She was long gone, however. It had only taken four shots, but it was clear that she had already found her limit.
Eventually, she got up and started wandering all around my apartment. I had no idea what she was looking for, and I had a pretty good idea that she had no clue either.
As she made her way into my bedroom, I got up from the table and took a seat on the edge of my bed. She was being hilarious, and I wanted a front-row seat to see what she was going to do next.
She made her way over to my closet and opened the door, where she found some of the things she’d left at my place.
“Oh my God, I’ve been looking all over for these,” she said in a very broken sentence, slurring her words as she spoke.
She spun around in my direction, looking as though she was about to fall down. In her hand, she had the sweater and scarf that she’d left at my house. She looked down at me sitting on the bed, giving me a look that was jokingly angry.
“So why do you have this, boy?” she asked. “Why did you keep these things?”
“You left them here, and they were all I had left of you. I wasn’t going to get rid of them.”
“What do you mean they were all you had left of me? All these pictures on your wall weren’t good enough for ya?” She asked as she tossed the scarf around my neck. She was being playful and giving me a hard time. “I thought this whiskey was supposed to be making me feel better,” she said after a big sigh. “I don’t believe that it’s working. It’s not making me feel better.”
“The whiskey is just to numb the pain,” I told her. “It’ll take you some time before you actually feel better but I promise you that it’s all going to be okay.”
It had been so long since I’d had her and I was yearning for her. I had to have her. I rested one of my hands on her back and ran it up to her shoulders.
“Maybe I can do something to make you feel a little better,” I said as she leaned closer to me, moaning lightly as I rubbed her shoulders. “Do you want me to make you feel better?” I asked.
“I do,” she replied as I guided her down onto the bed.
I was happy to finally be getting the chance to be with her again. It had been so long since I’d embraced her and felt the softness of her touch.
“I’m going to take care of you tonight,” I told you. “Just lie back on the bed and relax. I want to make you fee
l good,” I whispered into her ear.
Alexa didn’t say anything. She just nodded her head and smiled. I gave her a long, deep kiss on the lips before running my lips and tongue down to her neck.
I kissed up and down her collarbone, unbuttoning her jeans as I moved along. I continued kissing her hips as I yanked her pants off her body. My lips kissed over her panties, causing my dick to harden.
Once I had her jeans completely pulled off of her, I tossed them to the side, watching them float to the floor before I crawled on top of her. Alexa looked beautiful lying there on the mattress. She was looking up at me.
She didn’t say it, but I could tell that she needed me just as much as I needed her. If she could have some kind of release, she might feel just a little bit better. I wanted to make her feel better, even if it only lasted for a little while.
I moved my hand up her thigh as Alexa slowly spread her legs apart for my touch. I laid down next to her and kissed her neck and shoulders while my fingers traced over her panties. The skin below was so soft and inviting. I couldn’t wait any longer.
I moved the thin fabric aside, exposing her completely. I could feel the heat coming from her body. I took one of my fingers and pushed it inside of her. She was wet and ready for my touch. Using her juices, I wet my fingers and began to slowly rub her clit. She moaned, grabbing my arm.
Before long, Alexa started to squirm and move around under my touch. It hadn’t taken her very long, and she was already about to get off. It had been so long since we’d been intimate with each other. It felt like ages since I’d been able to touch her and I’d missed it.
“There you go, go ahead and let go. Go ahead and cum for me,” I whispered into her ear as I slid two fingers inside of her and continued rubbing her clit.
Within seconds she was yelling out, her entire body shaking with pleasure. She arched her back, bringing her ass completely off the mattress as her orgasm overtook her.
Once she was done, I slid my fingers out of her, causing her to moan a little more. She looked more beautiful than she’d ever looked before. I was hard as could be but I wanted that night to be all about her, so I played with her hair. She looked like she had indeed taken an edge off. She looked so relaxed.
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