“Why don’t you go ahead and go to sleep. Forget about everything else until tomorrow,”
Alexa didn’t put up any resistance. She rolled over onto her side, nuzzling her head in my chest while I pulled up a blanket and held her in my arms while she went to sleep.
I felt like everything was finally right. It had taken a long time to get to that point, but everything was finally right again.
24
Alexa
I had no clue what time it was. All I knew was that it was sometime at night because it was pitch black outside. I sat up on the bed, and my head instantly started to spin.
Having never been drunk before, I’d never experienced a hangover. If that was what you had to look forward to when you drank, I wasn’t sure why anyone touched a sip of alcohol in the first place.
It took me a minute to get my bearings, but I was able to look around and realize that I was still in Nick’s apartment. My head was pounding so I laid back down on the pillow and wondered what I had been thinking. I kept trying to talk myself out of going over there.
I kept telling myself that nothing good could possibly come from going to his place. I didn’t let those little voices in my head win, however, because I felt like I owed it to him to thank him for being there for me when I needed him the most.
Showing my gratitude was never supposed to end with me in his bed, but there I was. My inhibitions were gone as soon as the whiskey went down my throat and I allowed passion and desire to take over.
Nick was sleeping peacefully next to me, his arm around my waist, just like we always slept. I slid my body to the side, grabbing his hand and moving it away from me.
He moved around and said something indecipherable in his sleep, pulling his arm close to himself as he readjusted his body. It was dark, but I was able to see him using the dim light coming from the bathroom. I couldn’t help but look at his face. He was so handsome.
I thought about how well I knew him but at the same time, didn’t really know him at all. When it came to the physical aspects of our relationship, I knew him well. I knew every single detail of his body.
I knew what turned him on, as well as the things he didn’t like. I knew what made him laugh, and I knew what made him upset. What worried me, however, were the things that I had no clue about.
When it came to his past, I had no idea what was true and what was made up. I had no clue who he was when he was younger or anything about his life before I met him.
All I knew was that he had been to prison after a bar fight got out of hand. I didn’t know what prison had been like or what kind of an effect it had on him.
Lying there looking at him was so strange. He seemed so peaceful. Everything seemed so calm. It made me wonder how things progressed the way they did. How did we end up in such a bad spot?
I never would have put up with any of that from any other man, but with him, it was so different. Could it be because I had never been in love with any man like I loved Nick? Could it be because I had never felt the kind of love that he had given to me? Was it really love, though? Was it real?
It sure felt real. When we were together, he’d been so good to me. He was sweet and loving. Honestly, when the truth came out about him being in prison, he was pissed off, but he wasn’t mad at me. He never told me that I should mind my own business or anything like that.
He was persistent when it came to getting me back. He let me know that he was there and that he still loved me. He never yelled at me or hit me when I denied his advances. Instead, he just kept making sure I knew he was around.
A few people that I told about it said that I should have been scared of him. They told me that I should have been concerned at his persistence, but I wasn’t worried in any way. I wasn’t in fear at any time. I knew that he wouldn’t ever hurt me.
Of course, maybe I was just being stupid. I could have made him stop coming around if I really wanted to. The truth was, somewhere deep down inside of me, I didn’t want him to stop.
As I pondered all of these feelings, I looked down and watched him sleeping. It always amazed me how such a big, tough guy could look so angelic when he slept. All of his features when softened while he was out.
The lines that I usually saw on his forehead weren’t visible. I took my finger and traced it lightly from his cheek down to his chest. His muscles were thick and hard, even as he slept.
“Hey gorgeous,” Nick mumbled out of his sleep, his voice sounding throaty and scratchy. “How are you feeling?” he asked me, placing his hand on my arm.
I don’t know if it was the alcohol that was still in my system or something else, but it felt like the walls were going to close in on me. I scooted away from him as fast as I could and jumped out of bed. As soon as my feet hit the floor, I regretted my decision. My head was pounding, and I felt dizzy.
“Alexa? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I'm okay. I’ve just got a little bit of a headache. Should have known better than to drink like that. I won’t be making that mistake again,” I told him as I bent down to put on my jeans. “I think I’m just going to head home.”
“What? You’re leaving? Why?” Nick asked as he stood up from the bed. “You can’t drive home. You’ve had way too much to drink.”
“It’s fine. I’m not drunk anymore. I just really have to go. I only meant to stop by for a few minutes. I shouldn’t be here.
25
Nick
I was having a hard time trying to process what was happening. I thought that things between Alexa and I were all taken care of. I thought we were good.
For once, she had actually come to me instead of me having to go for her. I didn’t make her come to my apartment. She came by herself because she wanted to thank me for being there for her in her time of need. She sat at my table and did shots with me. She allowed me to touch her and be intimate with her.
“Alexa, it may be because I just woke up, but I can’t understand what’s happening right now,” I told her as I rubbed my eyes. “You don’t need to go anywhere. Why don’t you and I just go back to bed and get some sleep? We can talk about this all when we wake up.”
“Nick, I really just need to go. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lead you on. I just need to think.”
“Please, think about what you’re doing. Don’t you know how much I care about you? Do you have any clue how much love I have for you in this hardened heart of mine? I don’t think you have any clue how happy it made me to open my door and see you on the other side. I didn’t force you to come here. I didn’t make you come here against your will. I’m not going to make you stay here if it’s not what you want to do. I just wanted you to know exactly how I feel about you.”
Alexa looked down at the floor, not sure how she was supposed to be feeling.
“All I wanted to do was be there for you,” I continued. “When you showed up here, the only thing I wanted to do was help you. All I wanted to do was try to make you feel better. I just wanted to do what I could to make you happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. I just want you to be happy. At this point, I don’t care if it’s because you’re with me or not. I just want you to be happy. You deserve it.”
26
Alexa
Never in my life had I felt so conflicted.
On one hand, I couldn’t help but be upset over the secrets he kept from me. At the same time, I was worried about him. I’d never seen him as upset as he was right then.
What made things even worse was the fact that he was having such a hard time dealing with the pain he was feeling. I knew I loved him and, as upset as I was with him, I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it.
Seeing him so upset was starting to bother me as well. I walked right up to him and put my arms around his neck.
“I know that you mean everything you just said to me. I can see it in your eyes. I know that you want me to be happy. I’m just drained, and my head is pounding. Please don’t be mad at me.”
“Mad at
you? I could never be mad at you,” he whispered into my ear. “I just don’t want to lose you. I love you so much. I promise you there’ll be no more secrets. I’ll be an open book from now on, no matter how painful that might be for me.”
“Okay, then why don’t we go back to bed and continue this conversation in the morning,” I told him, moving him back towards the bed.
I was still so confused.
In fact, I may have been more confused than I was in the first place. The one thing I wasn’t confused about was how I felt about the man standing in front of me. Out of everything he had said and done, in the end, all he wanted was for me to stay with him and that’s what I was going to do. I was going to start with the night and see how things went from there.
27
Nick
In the bedroom, Alexa and I made love. When I climbed on top of her, I noticed that she didn’t spread her legs nearly as far apart as she usually did. It was as though she was reluctant to be with me. After the way I had treated her, it was hard to blame her.
“It’s okay, Alexa. I’m not going to hurt you. I promise I’m never going to hurt you again.”
I felt her legs open, allowing me to position my body the way I wanted it. Grabbing onto one of her thighs, I slowly guided myself inside of her.
As I felt the tightness of her opening, all of my worries were gone. When I felt how wet she was, I started to realize that everything was going to be okay. She may have been hesitant, but she wanted me just as I had wanted her.
She meant the world to me, and I was going to show her one way or another. I never wanted to let go of her and I’d do anything to protect her for as long as she would allow.
The two of us lying in my bed, making love, made me feel alive again. Like I had a purpose.
Finally, we had another chance. I had another chance.
28
Alexa
I could feel Nick’s body weight pushing me down into the mattress as he slowly moved in and out of me. I felt his girth completely filling me as I felt him deep inside of me.
He felt good. He felt really damn good. After all the things that had happened between us, the lies from months ago, the things earlier that evening, there was no denying how good Nick felt inside me.
As he made love to me, he kept whispering into my ear, telling me how good I felt. He kept telling me he loved me and how much he missed me.
“Tell me you love me, Alexa,” he said in my ear. The request caught me off guard. It caught me so off guard, in fact, that I didn’t respond to him. “Tell me you love me,” he said again, this time thrusting into me a little harder. “Tell me, baby. I want to hear it. Tell me you love me.”
I didn’t know whether or not I should say it. I loved him a lot, but we still had a lot of things to work on. If I said those three little words and decided to break things off, it would crush him. He grabbed my hands and intertwined my fingers with his, pushing them over my head and down onto the bed. I breathed his name into his ear, hoping that would be good enough for the moment.
“I want you to say it,” Nick said as he plunged deeper and harder into me.
I knew what he was thinking. He thought that if he fucked me right, I’d say whatever he wanted to hear. I looked up at him and could see pain and fear in his eyes. “Please tell me you love me,” he begged again.
I could feel the tension building up inside of me. I knew I was getting close and was trying my hardest to concentrate on that as opposed to Nick’s request.
I closed my eyes and was ready to let my climax unleash when I realized my shoulder was wet. It took me a minute to figure out what was happening. Nick was crying.
He wasn’t the type to ever show any kind of emotion, much less cry. It made me feel horrible. I knew that Nick had made many mistakes and bad choices in our relationship. He had lied to me about some pretty important things.
In the end, he owned up to those mistakes and never gave up on what the two of us had together. We’d been apart for months, but he never gave up. I was the only thing he wanted.
What kind of person was I? I could have cut the cord at any time and not given him any attention when he came around.
Instead, I strung him along, allowing him to stay a part of my life but only if he did it from a distance. Why did I do that if I didn’t want to be with him? Was I scared to be alone? Did I just want to know that I was desirable? Nick made sure that I knew he appreciated me. Didn’t he deserve the same in return? Didn’t he deserve love and affection as well? I couldn’t hold back any longer.
“I love you, Nick,” I yelled out as I grabbed him by the neck and pulled him in close to me. “I love you so much,” I told him.
I watched as Nick stopped in mid-motion and looked down at me, shocked that he’d heard the words he wanted so desperately to hear. The truth is, I wasn’t just saying them because he wanted to hear them. I said them because I meant them.
“I love you, Nick,” I spoke softly.
I told him one more time before bucking my hips up towards him, leading him to grab my legs and pumping in and out of me with a vengeance.
I was moaning loudly as my climax was coming quickly. Nick was pounding me harder and harder until I couldn’t take it anymore. I wrapped my legs tightly around him and squeezed as I got off.
Nick began groaning as he came at the same time. He rammed himself into me again as his climax overtook him. He moved in an out a little slower until he finally pulled himself out and collapsed onto the bed next to me, allowing me to curl up in his arms.
He had a smile on his face as we laid there, him playing with my hair and me running my fingers all over his chest. All of his patience had finally paid off. He knew in his heart that we were going to be together again.
Even when it looked like a lost cause, he always had faith. And there I was, I’d told him I loved him for so long. Not only had I admitted my feelings to Nick, but in a way, I’d admitted them to myself as well.
I could see the relief on Nick’s face. All of the pain that I’d put him through was washed away. Me being there with him made him happy. It was as though the past had never happened. I understood how he felt.
The pain I’d felt from everything he did didn’t seem to matter anymore. I was there, we were together, and I wasn’t going to leave this time. There wasn’t anywhere else I’d rather be than right there in his arms.
Epilogue
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked. “This is your last chance to back out on me if you’ve changed your mind.”
The flashing Vegas lights were bouncing off of her face under the dark night sky as our taxi drove down the strip. Even though we were both tired from the plane ride, our energy was renewed once we were parked in front of the wedding chapel.
“I’d never back out on you!”
She leaned across the backseat of the cab and sweetly kissed me on the cheek.
“You plan on backing out on me?” she asked.
“Are you crazy? I already lost you once and went through hell. I’ll never let that happen again. You’re mine forever.”
We made our way into the Viva Las Vegas wedding chapel where the king of rock and roll was standing in the lobby.
Talk about a jacked up wedding.
But it didn’t matter. It wouldn’t matter if the Easter Bunny married us. As long as my baby’s by my side, that’s all that mattered.
“Are you two beautiful people here to tie the knot?” Elvis asked us.
“Yeah,” I smiled down at Alexa, wrapping my arm around her as a few go-go girls trotted behind us.
“Well, all right! I can tell you two got a hunka hunka burnin’ love inside you.” he smiled.
Licking his finger, he flipped the page in a book that was resting on top of his stand and grabbed a pen.
“What’s your names?”
“Alexa and Nick,” I said.
“All right, you two beautiful people. I’m gonna give you the most beautiful wedding you’ve e
ver dreamed of,” he scribbled our names in the book. “It’ll be about 40 minutes. We have two other couples before you, but feel free to take a look around.”
Alexa and I walked away from the desk and headed toward the far end of the chapel where you could purchase various wedding packages and keepsakes.
“Are you sure we should get married here?” she whispered. “What if they’re not even able to legally marry us?”
“Nah, it’ll be fine. I promise.”
She shrugged. “Okay, if you say so.”
I watched Alexa examine all the different wedding veils until she found one that she liked. “Do you mind if I get this? I think it’d look cute on me.”
“Go ahead, baby. Get whatever you want.”
I’d been working extra jobs to pay for this trip so we could take a mini-vacation—just a 3-day, long weekend because of a national holiday—to get married and I’d saved up quite a few bones to pay for everything.
But there was one thing that Alexa wasn’t counting on, and that was the ring that I bought her without her knowing.
The two of us had picked out simple gold wedding bands for our wedding night, and that’s what we were supposed to get married in, but I didn't feel that was good enough for her. While she was hanging out with Kim, us guys went shopping for a better ring. I spent almost every extra penny that I had worked for and saved up, but she deserved it.
“Nick and Alexa,” Elvis yelled out into the lobby. “You’re up!”
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