Beautifully Angelic

by Charity Parkerson

  “In case I haven’t said so, and you’re still not understanding what’s happening here, I’m completely in love with you.”

  Ezra’s features softened. “I love you too.”

  “Then kiss me.” Declan couldn’t stop the demand if he tried.

  Ezra didn’t hesitate to press his lips to Declan’s. Declan swore his body temperature immediately rose by ten degrees. No one had ever made him burn the way Ezra did. It was like they were more than meant to be. They belonged together on some higher plane—like soul mates. When Ezra’s tongue stroked his, Declan’s knees weakened. Before falling for Ezra, Declan hadn’t known someone could feel so strongly about another person.

  “I’ve decided I don’t want to ignore your erection.”

  Declan headed for the bed at Ezra’s claim, uncaring if they were both still soaking wet. His knees wouldn’t hold out with too much talk like that from Ezra. Icarus chased his feet. Declan couldn’t think about him right now. Ezra needed his attention. A thought hit him as he set Ezra on the bed. “You’re not trying to get out of eating, are you?”

  Ezra shook his head. “We’ll still go out. I promise. Right now, though, I really need you to make love to me.”

  Every muscle in Declan’s body jerked. He swore a shot of electricity went through him at Ezra’s claim. He held up a finger. “Hold that thought.” Declan scooped up the dog and locked him in the bathroom before heading for his bag. He had condoms and lube packed, because he always had those things ready to go. He grabbed both and headed back toward the bed. Icarus whined and scratched at the door. Declan pinched the spot between his eyes. With a chuckle, Ezra sat up, grabbed his phone, and after a few clicks, music filled the air, drowning out the puppy.

  “Works for me,” Declan said, climbing onto the bed. He stalked Ezra until he could snag his waist and twist. On his back, he settled Ezra on his hips. “Kiss me again.” Declan could hear the neediness in his voice. He didn’t care. For years, he had dreamed of making love to Ezra. Not once did those dreams include loud music and a whining dog, but Declan gave no fucks about perfection at the moment. All Declan cared about was Ezra. He was the only necessity now.

  Ezra lowered his head and captured Declan’s lips. He kissed Declan deeply. Declan could feel Ezra’s love. It was overwhelming and humbling. Possessiveness and protectiveness filled Declan’s chest. He wanted to be gentle, taking care of Ezra’s fragile health. At the same time, he wanted to fuck Ezra hard enough he seared his name on Ezra’s soul. Instead, he let Ezra take the lead.

  He felt Ezra smile against his lips. “If you want me to have any energy left for the day, you’ll need to do some of the work here.”

  A laugh rose and caught in Declan’s throat. It seemed he would need to find that middle ground after all. Declan rolled to his side. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Ezra looked so trusting. “You won’t.”

  Declan fumbled with the condom and lube. Once he was suited up and slick, he urged Ezra onto his side, facing away from him before dragging his ass closer. Ezra clutched at the sheets as Declan toyed with his asshole. He stretched and lubed, making sure Ezra was ready before easing inside. Ezra moaned like he had never had anything better. Declan found himself drawing Ezra back against his chest. There was no skill or practiced pace. Declan simply moved, rocking inside Ezra as he held him close. Ezra reached up and held the back of Declan’s head as Declan sucked and kissed Ezra’s neck. In his heart, Declan knew this one moment wouldn’t last forever, but he wanted to remember it forever. Ezra was hot and tight. Every sound he made drove Declan insane. All those things were secondary to how Declan felt. He was overcome.

  His eyes burned and his throat hurt. This was Ezra. He finally, finally had the one thing in the world he wanted most—the love of his life in his arms. It felt like victory—like his dreams coming true. He needed Ezra to feel the same. Declan’s fingers encircled Ezra’s cock. He massaged, pumping and tugging. Ezra squirmed against him, as if he didn’t know whether to ride Declan’s hand or dick. Declan didn’t take mercy on him. He needed Ezra to be as big of a mess as him.

  Ezra moaned.

  Declan nearly came. He tried coaxing Ezra into orgasm. “That’s it, gorgeous. Come for me. I want to hear it. I want to see it.”

  Ezra’s body stiffened, dragging a cry from Declan as his asshole squeezed him tight. A spasm rocked Ezra before his body tried sucking Declan deeper. His cock twitched in Declan’s hand. An orgasm hit Declan so hard, he lost the ability to hear. His lungs seized as he pumped the condom full of cum. Declan held Ezra tight, trying not to hurt him as he savored every second of ecstasy. He wasn’t giving this up. Not now. Not ever. They were beautiful together. Declan would do whatever it took to make Ezra better so they could have as many years together as possible. This was the forever kind of love. Ezra would see it too. Declan would make sure of it.

  They didn’t make it out in time for breakfast, but they found a nice Mexican restaurant and Ezra was miserably full of cheese dip. He was tired again, but he kept putting one foot in front of the other. The shopping center was nice, and Declan kept taking his hand. Ezra wasn’t ready to go back to the house yet. He hadn’t felt this free in a long time.

  “You need these in your life.”

  Ezra turned his head to find Declan holding out a pair of diva-sized sunglasses with glittery sequins on the sides.

  With a chuckle, Ezra accepted and popped them on his face. “How do I look?”

  Going by Declan’s huge smile, he looked ridiculous. “Beautiful.”

  “Oh my god. Is that Ra Lee? It is.”

  Ezra froze at the name. He pulled off the sunglasses and turned his head. Ezra cringed when he spotted the two women headed his way. He considered jumping behind Declan and forcing Declan to play the bodyguard. Instead, he squared his shoulders, pasted on his best smile, and waited for the inevitable.

  “I can’t believe it’s you. I was just showing Meg one of your videos.”

  “Hi,” Ezra said for lack of anything more intelligent.

  Declan took turns looking between him and the two women who had run him down. Ezra didn’t alleviate Declan’s curiosity.

  The blond of the two pulled out her cellphone. “Can I get a picture with you? My son will just die. That’s who introduced me to your channel.”

  “Sure.”

  Ezra smiled while taking pictures with both women. He knew without looking that he looked like hell, and—no doubt—these pictures would be all over the internet in less than an hour.

  The brunette motioned Declan’s way with pure interest flashing in her eyes. “Is this your boyfriend or your bodyguard?”

  Declan didn’t wait for an introduction. He stepped forward and wrapped his arm around Ezra’s waist. “Both, actually. I’m Declan.”

  Both women looked from Declan to Ezra. “Wow,” they said simultaneously, making Ezra laugh.

  Ezra fought to hide his shock over Declan’s declaration. “I know. He’s overwhelming.”

  “That’s one way of putting it,” the blonde said while the brunette nodded.

  Ezra stood still and listened to the women speak. He ended up autographing a few things before they finally moved on. Ezra held his breath. He knew what would come next and he wasn’t wrong.

  “Ra Lee, huh? What the hell? How did I not know you have a whole other identity?”

  With a shrug, Ezra tried to play it off like it was no big deal. “I have to do something with my time. It’s not like I lounge by the pool all day and transform into a socialite by night. You know that’s not me. I had to find something productive to do. So, my friend Brett. You know him. The YouTube producer. He said I should try to capitalize more on my sense of fashion. I let him record a few videos of me repurposing outfits for different occasions, and—to my surprise—they took off. Obviously, I didn’t want to use my real name. So I went with a combination of what Brett has always called me, Ra, and my middle name, Lee. I never thought anyone would watch anything
I did. It seems I was wrong.” Ezra felt a wicked smile shape his lips. “I’m glad to know I can still surprise you, though. Of course, I’m just as shocked to learn you’re my boyfriend now.”

  Declan flashed him a sexy smile. “Well, I mean, you’ve been in my pants. You should give me some title.”

  “Everyone has been in your pants. I’m not special.” The words were out there before Ezra could stop them. Declan’s smile slipped away, making it harder for Ezra to breathe.

  Declan looked away. “What would you like to do next? There are a few mini-golf places around here.”

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  Declan still didn’t look his way. “Of course you should have. I’ve spent the last six years, since you turned eighteen and moved out, sleeping with everyone. You’ve spent the last six years showing your nude body to everyone. There’s no sense in pretending. Right?”

  Ouch. Ezra didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. He had posed nude for a few different magazines. But the comparison wasn’t the same. No one had ever understood him. Ezra had always thought—maybe—Declan did. It seemed he had been wrong.

  “Now I’m the one who’s sorry,” Declan said, sounding apologetic.

  Ezra didn’t respond. He wasn’t trying to make Declan feel guilty. Ezra just truly didn’t know how to express something he had honestly thought Declan already understood. Declan took a breath, as if he meant to say more. Ezra cut him off. “I don’t like myself.”

  Declan snapped his mouth closed so hard that Ezra heard it happen.

  Once the truth was out there, Ezra didn’t stop. It was easier because they were walking side by side and Declan wasn’t looking directly at him. “My whole life, I’ve fought against this feeling of not fitting in, and not being good enough. Growing up, before Mom died, I had this best friend back in Washington. Everyone always looked at him first. When they found out he wasn’t single, they looked at me second. I’ve always felt like I’m everyone’s last resort. Not just sexually, but for any reason. No one asks me to go do things unless no one else is available. I’m not the guy who gets hit on in clubs. Unless everyone is drunk and their prospects are looking short, that is. I’m just not the cool kid. Theo says it’s because I’m marriage material, which is probably one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. Because, really, I don’t feel like I matter very much to this world. So I’m sorry if posing nude and stealing something for myself made you upset. That one thing is probably the only thing that’s saved me for this long. So maybe don’t make it about you. It’s not.”

  For several minutes, Declan didn’t respond. When he did, his choice of words surprised Ezra. “I can’t say the same. Sleeping with everyone else was very much about you. I didn’t think we would ever happen, and—more often than not—that drove me kind of crazy. Anytime I went out, I found myself gravitating toward anyone with your eye color, or their hair would be similar. Maybe the body type was the same. I kept trying to be satisfied with anyone else, but my heart always knew the difference. That’s why I never slept with the same person twice. I know you can’t help but to feel the way you feel. The thing is, though, you’ve always been my first choice. You’ve always been the only person I want.”

  “That’s because you’re weird,” Ezra said, trying to lighten the mood. He didn’t want to talk about anything heavy. One day, they would have to circle back to this, he was sure, but he just couldn’t right now.

  Declan flashed him a smile. “Nah. I’m just taller than everyone else. I can get a better picture of things than you can. There’s no way I can miss the way you stand out. And you’re wrong, by the way. You’re no one’s second choice. You’re the intimidating choice. If people don’t approach you first, it’s because they need liquid courage, or they think they have zero chance with someone as hot as you are. It’s nothing to do with you at all. If anything, you’re too beautiful.”

  That sounded like bullshit to Ezra, but he appreciated it nonetheless. “I’ll try to dial it down.”

  As they reached Declan’s truck, Declan drew Ezra against his chest before unlocking and opening the door to hide them from view. He stared down into Ezra’s eyes, stealing Ezra’s soul with the love he couldn’t hide. “I know it’s asking a lot, but I don’t want you to ever think about me with anyone else again, because it’s never happening again. Like I said, back then, I didn’t see any chance of us being together. You’re mine now and I’m yours. No one exists for me but you.”

  That was fair. They hadn’t been together back then. “Okay. Please don’t be mad at me about those nude pictures.”

  Declan smiled. It was blinding. “I’m not. Those goddamn magazines got me through years of torture, thinking I couldn’t have you. Maybe it took me some time to figure out what’s best for me, but I’m not backing down now. I love you too much. I can’t go back to living without you.”

  “Same.” Even to Ezra’s ears, his claim came out sounding breathless. He had never dreamed Declan would be here now, holding him and saying all the things he had said. Ezra would fight his way back to good health and find a way to make Declan happy if it was the last thing he ever did. He would never let Declan worry he had made the wrong choices. Ezra understood the chance Declan was taking on him. “You pick the mini-golf place and I’ll pick dinner.”

  A smile exploded across Declan’s face. “Deal.”

  “I love you, sexy protector.”

  Declan’s smile slipped away and was replaced with enough heat to blast Ezra off his feet. “I love you too, angel. I’ll give you a beautiful life.”

  Ezra didn’t doubt him. Not even for a second. They had silently loved each other too long. Neither of them could fail now. Losing each other wasn’t an option left on the table any longer.

  Six

  Three weeks of nonstop eating, making love, and pampering had Ezra feeling better than he had in a long time. No doubt that being back on his meds for three weeks also helped, but Ezra knew Declan made the biggest difference in his life. Without Declan, Ezra still would have tried to do better for himself, but he wouldn’t have done half as well without Declan’s constant presence. Declan did whatever it took to motivate Ezra. He nagged, demanded, and bribed Ezra back to health. Soon they would be home and would have to deal with something neither of them spoke about. The elephant in the room. Jessie.

  Ezra lived in fear of what life would be like when they got home. There were too many unanswered questions. He didn’t know if Declan planned to go back to work for Jessie and pretend they never happened. Ezra didn’t know anything at all, and it was killing him. Every time he worked up the courage to ask, he felt like an idiot. Everything he thought to say sounded childish. Ezra had never known how to talk to Declan about them. That was something that hadn’t really changed between them.

  The drive back to California was made mostly in silence. Ezra swore he could feel the heaviness in the air. Declan toyed with Ezra’s fingers while seeming lost in his own thoughts. Ezra wanted to climb inside his head and crawl through his every thought. He needed to know what would become of them when they weren’t miles away from Jessie’s wrath.

  “I’m not broke,” Declan said suddenly, startling Ezra from his internal panic.

  He blinked at the odd statement. “Okay.”

  Declan didn’t look away from the road. “I mean, I’ve worked for Jessie for seventeen years with barely any personal expenses. So I have some money saved. I mean, we might have to downsize some eventually, but I can take care of you.”

  As Declan’s outburst sank in and finally made sense, a smile exploded across Ezra’s face. “That’s incredibly sweet, but why would you think you need to support us? I’m doing fine. We’ll be good, baby.”

  Declan still looked worried. He shrugged. “I just think it’s worth considering that Jessie might be angry enough to disown you. It’s a given that he’ll fire me before I can even say I’m quitting, but he won’t likely be very happy with you either. W
e should get married before we tell him. He’s a lot less likely to kill me if he knows that I’m not just toying with you.”

  Ezra’s throat swelled. He wanted that, but not like this. Not coerced. Ezra wanted Declan to marry him because it was what Declan wanted. He tried to skate past the suggestion. “You are so sweet and amazing. But, first off, Jessie would never cut me off. No matter what I did. Secondly, I’m worth six point two million on my own without Jessie.”

  Declan glanced his way, looking horrified. “I’m sorry. What?”

  Ezra covered his mouth, trying to fight back a smile. “YouTube, sweetie. All those videos I’ve been uploading for the past four years. Surely you didn’t think I put that much work into it for nothing.”

  “People get paid to do that?” Declan sounded adorably outraged.

  Ezra gave Declan’s chest a pat. “Don’t sound so horrified. At least now you don’t have to worry that we’ll be poor.”

  Declan immediately turned cranky. “I was not worried about being poor. I didn’t want you to be poor.”

  Declan went silent. Too quiet. It weighted the air. Ezra couldn’t take it. “Are you mad at me now? I don’t understand.”

  Declan flashed him a quick look. “No, baby. It’s not that at all. I just... it’s dumb. Never mind.”

  “Whatever it is, it’s not dumb if it bothers you. Just say it. We’ve had too much time of not saying things.”

  With his gaze locked on the road, Declan’s shoulder rose and fell in a half shrug. “It’s just that you don’t have any reason to marry me. Alleviating Jessie’s anger was really the only play I had. Otherwise, I kind of fucked up any chance of you wanting to spend the rest of your life with me years ago. You already have everything you need. I’m not necessary in any way.”