Right Kind of Wrong

by Shelly Jones

  “Wow, ok, sorry I cared. Have fun with your family and I guess call me when you have time for me. Good night. And for the record, I love you.”

  Shit “I’m sorry Xander. I didn’t mean to be a bitch. Shit is catching up to me. So yeah, there is shit going on, but we can’t talk over the phone. Ok?”

  “Yeah, you’re right we do need to talk. Call me tomorrow, ok?”

  “Alright. Good night, Xander. I love you too.”

  “Night, Em.” And he hangs up.

  The next day, I spent the entire day with my family. I took them out to lunch to my favorite Mexican food restaurant, then to the mall. I even took them past “Harlie’s,” Xander and Blake’s bar. I texted Xander off and on throughout the day, pretty much just letting him know I was ok.

  I will be sad to see them go but, I am looking forward to my life going back to normal. Now only if I could convince my parents to go back home.

  “Have you thought about what you’re going to do for a car?” My dad asks me.

  “Not yet,”

  “Well, the insurance is cutting you a check this week. So if I were you, I’d use that as a down payment on a new vehicle.”

  “That’s the plan, Dad. I just haven’t had a chance to think about stuff.” We pull into a restaurant, they believe in eating dinner right at five, no later. We get seated and my parents sit across from me.

  Both staring at me, Oh shit! Here it comes. I know this look. I say to myself.

  “We want you to come back with us.” My dad says while holding my mom’s hand.

  And there it is! “Dad!” I snap.

  “NO, you listen to me. This place isn’t for you. You don’t belong here. You belong back at home.”

  “Dad, stop! I’m not going back, ever! This is my home.”

  “Why? There’s so much crime and crap in this city. Don’t you miss the country life?” My mother says.

  “Are you kidding me right now? Smelling cow shit every time I walk outside, having to drive almost an hour to go to Walmart or the mall. Yeah that’s really something to miss! I’m not going.”

  “It’s because of him isn’t it?” My mother says in her bitching fucking tone.

  “I thought you two were ok with him. You both were having a good time yesterday.”

  My mom is shaking her head, “No honey. We pretended to. Those aren’t the kind of people you want to be around.”

  “Excuse me? What kind of people are they?”

  “They’re bikers, they’re tattooed and, and they’re not God’s people.” My dad says all calm.

  “Oh my fucking God! Really Dad? Did you really just say that?” I run my hands over my face, “This is bullshit. I cannot believe you two. Making me believe you guys were having fun yesterday. I don’t even know what to say right now other than the fact that I’m leaving. You really should have gotten on the plane with Kathy, Hilary and Danny, because I don’t want to see you anymore.” I go to stand up.

  “Emily Grace! You don’t talk to us like that!” My dad says in the tone he uses when he’s getting ready to punish us.

  I lean over the table and get close to them, “No Dad! You don’t get to talk to me like this. I’m not fourteen anymore. I’m an adult and I’m walking away from you two and I don’t want to see or hear from you until you can accept my choices.”

  “Emily, please. Sit down.” My mother begs.

  “Why? So you can tell me how much you hate my boyfriend and his family. You know what? My reason for staying isn’t even Xander. My reason for staying is because I don’t have to act like you mother. I am free to be me.”

  Their faces are in shock. It’s actually funny. I start walking out and call Xander.

  “Hey Babe,” He answers.

  “Can you come get me? I’m at that rib place like three or 4 blocks from the bar.”

  “Is everything ok?”

  “No, Xander, it’s not. Can you come get me? I’ll start walking towards the bar.”

  “I’m on my way to the bar right now. I’m about fifteen minutes from there.”

  “Ok, I’ll stay on the main sidewalk. Just come get me. Ok?”

  “Be there soon!” He says and hangs up.

  “Emily!” My dad shouts.

  I turn around, “Dad, stop. I’m leaving and so are you. I’m not doing this. You don’t have to accept my life, but I’m not going to change my life back to how you want it. I’m done living your life.”

  “If you walk away from us, don’t bother about calling us ever again.” He warns me.

  I shake my head and smile, “Well then Robert, I guess there’s no talking to you anymore. I guess I’ll never see you again.”

  “Emily,” My mom whispers.

  “No, Mom. You guys did this, not me. Go back to Wisconsin. Call me when you’re actually able to accept your kids for who they are.” I turn and walk away.

  I get to the corner and I see Xander’s car. “Thank God!” I say out loud. He finds a place to pull over and I get in. “I am so happy to see you.” I smile at him.

  WHEN EMILY CALLED me to come get her, I was happy, but worried at the same time. I knew she was saying goodbye to her sisters and her brother today. I could tell there was something wrong just by the tone in her voice. I see her walking and I pull over so she could get in.

  “I am so happy to see you.” She smiles at me.

  “Me too, but what’s going on Em?”

  “Just drive, I’ll explain. Just get me out of here, please.”

  “Where do you want me to take you?”

  “My place, quick. I’m going to grab some things. Then you can take me back to your place, if that’s ok.”

  “Yeah, that’s fine.”

  I get her back to her house and I follow her inside. She goes to her room, grabs a bag and starts throwing clothes in it. Grabs her pain medicine and a few more things and packs them. She grabs her phone charger and her laptop.

  “Well, that’s all I need. You sure it’s ok to go back to your place?”

  “Yeah, but you act like you’re running away. What happened today?”

  “Take me to your place and I will explain it all on the way. Ok?”

  “Alright,” I say grabbing her overnight bag. She puts her computer in another bag and we leave. She sends Mel a text while we’re driving.

  “Ok, so I kind of am running away. But not really running away, just hiding and refusing to talk to my parents until they can accept me and my choices.”

  “Ok, I’m going to need a little bit more than that.”

  She takes a deep breath and blows it out and tells me what exactly happened. “Xander, I’m done. I’m not going to put up with the, shit. I’m sick of it.”

  “I’m sorry,”

  “Not your fault. You didn’t make them who they are. That’s their damn issues, and they’ll be missing out not me.”

  We get back to my place and I help her carry her things into the house. “Should I keep Harlie over at my parents for a little bit?”

  “Can you? We really need to talk about things.”

  “Yeah, that’s fine.” I send my mom a quick text telling her I’d be over before bedtime to come and get her.

  Emily is sitting on the couch with Axel on her lap. “He’s missed you.” I say to her.

  “I’ve missed him.” She gives him a hug.

  “So were you really going to ever tell me you loved me? And please, be honest.”

  “Yes, I was. Why would you ask me something like that? I told you that in the hospital, Emily.”

  “I know you did, but I need to make sure you’re not saying this shit because I was hurt, or the fact we lost a child. I don’t want your love if it’s sympathy.” She says looking down at her hands.

  “Where the hell is this coming from?”

  “I’ve been thinking Xander, and I’ve done a lot of it. I can’t help but wonder if I hadn’t shown up here two weeks ago and told you my feelings for you, that we’d be here, where we are at today. Can’t h
elp but wonder if we would still be just fuck buddies.”

  “I don’t know the answer to that. We might still be, we might not be. I honestly don’t know, but let me ask you this. Were you ever going to tell me about our baby? I mean if you didn’t lose it, would I have ever known it was mine?”

  She starts to laugh a little, “Yeah, you would have. I would have told you eventually. I didn’t want to hear you say ‘I love you’ just because of the baby or the accident.” She blows out a breath,” I can’t help but replay what you said to me, I’m not right for you. I don’t do relationships. Those things still play in my head on a daily basis.”

  “Emily I don’t know what you want me to say that I didn’t say yesterday. I told you, I love you, and I wasn’t going to tell you unless I knew this was real and I saw a future with you. I do see the future with you, I want a future with you, but I’m starting to wonder if you want it with me. Do you?”

  “I do Xander, but you said . . .”

  I walk over and get on my knees in front of her, “I know what I said, and I meant it . . . back then. I don’t mean it now. Right now, all I want to do is take you out on a real date, cuddle up on the couch and watch movies with you. Do the things couples do. I don’t know what’s normal because it’s been forever since I’ve had a girlfriend, but I want to do all those things couples do with you. I’m not going to force you to be with me. If you don’t want me, us. Then I’ll take you back to your place and we’ll be done.”

  “They wanted me to go back with them and the moment they said those words, I wanted to puke cuz the thought of losing you made me sick. I do want you. I want us. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the baby. I had just found out two days before the accident. I wanted it though. I was already in love with our baby.” Her eyes start to tear up. I get up on the couch and pull her into my lap and hold her.

  “I’m sorry, Xander. I am so sorry.”

  “Shhh, don’t be sorry Emily. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let you go that day. I should have just told you I loved you and then this would have never happened.”

  We sit here in silence not talking, but yet we’re saying so much. I’m never letting her go. I can’t imagine life without her.

  I go get Harlie while Emily stays here, it’s almost eight o’clock and it’s a school night. Harlie and I walk into the house and she freaks. “EMILY!” She shouts and run over to her.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Well, I think I’m spending the night. Do you think that’s ok?”

  “Yes! You can sleep in my room with me if you want.” Harlie says.

  “Well, I think I’m going to sleep in your dad’s room. So he can get me my medicine when I need it. Is he good about taking care of you when you’re sick?”

  “Daddy’s the best. He even makes funny noises when he gives you medicine.” Oh my god kid, quit embarrassing me!

  “Oh Really?” Emily says looking me, “Guess I’ll have to have Daddy make those noises for me too. Because you know I gotta hear them.” They’re both laughing.

  “Will you be here when I get out of school?”

  “I think so. Maybe I’ll stay a couple of days? What do you think?”

  “I love it!”

  “Well, since Emily will be here tomorrow after school that means you can go to bed now.”

  “But Daddy.” She whines.

  “Hey, how about you get to bed and then tomorrow after school we’ll bake some cupcakes or something fun. How about that?”

  “Promise?”

  “I pinky promise.” Emily holds out her pinky and they both shake.

  I get Harlie in bed and walk back to the living room, she’s sitting on the couch watching TV, and all I want to do is make love to her. I can’t think of anything else. I need her, I want her, and I love her.

  “Want to go watch TV in the bedroom?” I ask

  She looks up at me with those eyes and that gives me a hint that she wants to do more than watch TV. She bites her bottom lip, “Yeah.” She says quietly. I give her my hand and help her up. I turn off everything and lock everything up.

  I take her hand and lead her to the bedroom, closing the door behind us.

  She goes searching through her bag and finds a t-shirt and shorts. She takes off her grey t-shirt and her jeans. She’s standing there in nothing but a black lace bra and matching panties. I’m fucking frozen.

  Before I can even think she walks up to me,

  “You going to just stand there and stare or do you want to touch?” She whispers.

  “I’m afraid I’m going to hurt you Emily.”

  “Don’t be, I need you.”

  I lean down and kiss her lips, “I’m not going to fuck you, I’m going to make love to you. I want to make love to you.” I say against her lips and she lets out a moan, which is all the sign I need.

  I take off my shirt and my jeans. I pull her against me and kiss her, “Wrap your arms around my neck.” I tell her, and she does it quickly. I gently pick her up and carry her over to the bed. I can feel the heat between her legs on my stomach. I stand her on the bed and take off her bra and panties.

  Standing there on bed naked and beautiful. She sits down and crawls backwards on the bed. I take off my boxers and crawl between her legs, kissing her pubic line and working my way up.

  “Tease,” She growls.

  “If it starts to hurt, you need to tell me to stop. Ok?”

  “Ok,” she licks her lips.

  I start with her lips, kissing, biting, and pulling on them. Sending kisses down her neck and hitting that sweet spot behind her ear, she lets out a moan and my dick gets harder. I kiss down her neck, to her collarbone. Taking my tongue I outline her collarbone and lick my way down to her breast. Keeping my weight on my arms, I start my attack on her left breast. Nibbling, sucking, licking and then nibbling some more. She’s so close to coming undone and I stop. I work my way over to the other breast and attack it, but stop again as soon as she’s close to coming.

  “Xander,” She moans.

  I go back up to her lips, “Yes, Baby.”

  “Let me come, this isn’t fair.” She says against my lips.

  “In time baby, in time.”

  Picking up where I left off, I leave kisses all the way down to her sweet spot. My fingers have found her opening and just as I thought, she’s soaked. I look up and see she’s watching me, I smile and put my fingers in my mouth and suck her taste off my fingers.

  She smiles and throws her head back. I don’t even torture her, I just attack her clit with my tongue. Sucking it, flicking it, nibbling it a little. Two fingers are deep in her, in and out. Her hips arch. I look up at her and watch as she grabs ahold of her breasts and start to play with them. Fuck that’s hot. I think to myself.

  “Xander . . . oh fuck Xander.” She tries not to scream too loud.

  I pull back and watch her catch her breath, her hands still on her tits.

  Going back up to her lips, I kiss her deeply, our tongues can’t get enough of each other. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”

  “No, I need you inside me though. Please Xander.” She begs with a moan.

  With my weight on my arms, she wiggles her hips teasing my dick.

  “Please Baby, I need you inside me.” She begs again.

  With one thrust, I’m inside her, filling her up.

  “Fuck, Emily.” I moan in her ear.

  I start thrusting, her hips follow my rhythm, and we’re in sync. Her back arches but I can tell its painful cuz her face shows it. I pull out and thrust back inside her, going deep. “Harder Xander, I need it harder!” She tells me. I thrust harder and faster. “I’m not going to last long,” I tell her.

  “Ok,” She pants.

  I lean down and kiss her. Two more hard thrust we both come. She’s moaning my name, trying not to scream it.

  “I love you.” I tell her.

  “I love you too.” She smiles at me.

  I lay off to the side so I’m not laying on
top of her or hurting her. “Wow,” I let out a breath. I brush a piece of hair out of her face, “Was it me, or was that better than it’s ever been?” She asks.

  “It was better,”

  “Good, then it wasn’t just me.” She says still panting.

  We get cleaned up, Emily takes a pain pill and we cuddle up on the bed watching TV. We find some random TV show. We didn’t talk for the rest of the night. I held her all night. Emily was the first woman to stay the night, not once but twice since Tessa left, and even though I’m still scared as hell she’s going to hurt me, I’m loving having her here with me.

  The next morning, I quietly get up and get Harlie ready and off to school. When I get back home, I check in on Em and she’s still sleeping. I go back into the kitchen and start breakfast. I know she likes coffee, but that’s it. I realize now, that besides how she likes me to fuck her, her favorite alcoholic drink, and that she likes yogurt, that’s all I know about her. “Ok, well everyone likes eggs right? No, not everyone, because I can’t stand them. Pancakes? No cuz I don’t know how to make them. Shit, I don’t know what to do.” I’m talking to myself with the refrigerator door opened.

  “Who are you talking to?” Her voice makes me jump.

  “Umm . . . no one.” I turn to her.

  “You know you really shouldn’t be talking to yourself. People might think you’re crazy.” She says with a smirk walking towards me. It’s the same line I used on her the first night we met.

  “Ha, Ha!”

  “You know I had to.”

  “Yeah, yeah. So I made you coffee and then I wanted to make you breakfast. Then I realized, I don’t know what you eat for breakfast.” I feel like a moron that I don’t know what she likes to eat.

  “It’s ok, I normally just drink coffee and have a bowl of yogurt.” She wraps her arms around my waist.

  “How did you sleep?” I ask.

  “Good, best sleep I’ve had in weeks. How about you?”

  “Really good, I could get used to you sleeping in my bed.”

  “Me too.”

  “Hey, I got a doctor’s appointment at 10am today, would you mind taking me? Otherwise I can have Mel take me.” She says to me.