Curse of Remorse

by Waggoner, Robert C.

  Roy said: “Are you telling me that it’s impossible for my daughter to open her eyes?”

  “At this time, yes I am. We’ve asked the other boy to come back and let us perform the operation on him to see if we have the same results. Meanwhile, we are running tests on your daughter to see if something chemically is affecting the healing process making it work overtime so to speak.”

  Roy said: “I’d best go find my wife and tell her what you told me. She went to the recovery room and thanks for telling me the truth.”

  ****

  Joan found the recovery room and upon entering a drab pale green colored room, she saw her daughter lying peacefully with a stark white sheet over her body right up to her neck. It could almost be a morgue, she thought as she moved alongside her daughter looking anxiously at her eyes. She saw the red lines of where the doctor had made the cut, but it seemed that even as she stood there watching the red lines were gradually fading leaving hardly a trace of where they were separated. She looked up at the nurse and the nurse had a pitiful look on her face that told her more than she wanted to know: the operation did not work and her daughter would not be opening her eyelids anytime soon. As Joan opened her mouth to speak, the nurse turned and left the room without a sound, the door closing softly behind her.

  Her daughter’s bed was next to the wall and Joan leaned back against it utterly spent. She had never felt so tired in her life. Just a few hours ago, all was right in her world. Husband was reading the paper and she was getting ready for her daughter’s birthday party. Now she felt haggard and probably looked haggard too. She was not particularly religious, but thought a few silent prayers to a higher being might be in order. While her eyes were closed and mentally praying to her God, Roy walked in just as Ann was making moaning sounds and apparently coming out of the anesthesia. He looked up at his wife who was sagging against the wall with her eyes closed and he moved quickly over to support her. She fell against him and he felt the violent sobs, heard the sounds of internal pain, only a mother could feel.

  Ann was waking up from sketches of dreams that she had never experienced before. Flashes of ghosts and monsters with no eyes, long arms reaching out for something to touch, emerging from a deep well, was the first and last of a bad dream. Then she heard someone crying and a voice she recognized said soothing words to the person crying.

  At first she had no idea where she was and as she tried to open her eyes, the last thing she remembered was the doctor saying she would go to sleep now and when she woke up, there would be bandages on her eyes and not to try and open and close her eyelids. Her hands reached up to gingerly to touch her eyes and she expected to feel a bandage over her eyes, but in fact there were no bandages over her eyes. She thought, maybe they haven’t started yet.

  Joan opened her eyes and saw her daughter was waking up. She moved away from her husband and grabbed her daughter’s hands as they reached up to feel her eyes. She said, “Don’t touch Ann dear. The operation is over and you’re in the recovery room. All is fine and your father and I are with you.

  Ann said: “Mom you are hurting my hands. Don’t’ squeeze so hard.”

  “Sorry darling. I was trying to keep you from touching your eyes, but we have to tell you something. The doctors cut and separated your eyelids, but they grew back together again. We must wait and see what the doctors say before we can go home.”

  “But mom, why can’t I see. I can’t feel any pain, but I thought you said they cut my eyelids and I should now be able to blink. Why is this happening to me?”

  “We don’t know honey, but we are going home very soon and if you want your friends to come tonight, then we will have them over.”

  “Yes, I want my friends more than ever now. Also, I am very hungry and want to go home,” She said with a little girls voice reminding Joan that she was in fact just a little girl still and had a long ways to go before she was a grown up. Most parents, she thought, hated to see their kids grow up and become adults.

  Dr. Choi came in and with his eyes on the patient, like the good doctor he was, saw what he suspected and the look on his face said it all to the parents of Ann.

  Dr. Choi said: “I see no reason to keep her here and it is probably best to take her home and that would give her a comfortable feeling to be home. We will continue to look into this very strange and baffling malady. Meanwhile the other boy Johnny is being prepped now for the same operation. However, I fear the same outcome is coming and if so, we will call in experts to try and solve these phenomena.”

  Chapter 5

  Johnny was strangely silent and had full faith in his brother. He followed instructions and now was about to be operated on. He didn’t understand all of it, but knew the basics that they would slice his eyelids and then he would be able to see and blink again. Anything was better than this semi-darkness he was experiencing.

  Johnny was listening and could hear the two doctors discussing the operation and felt the breeze as nurses scampered back and forth beside him. Then he felt a sharp needle placed into the back of his hand. He was then asked to count backwards from one hundred. Johnny never made it to ninety five before he was gone and in dream land.

  Thirty minutes later, the doctors stood and watched the same thing happen with Johnny as happened to Ann: the eyelids grew back. “Most perplexing,” said Dr. Sweet. “I need to make some phone calls and would you see to the brother and tell him we are experiencing the same results and to be patient Dr. Choi?”

  “I’ll take care of it. Please call me if you find out or discover something relevant to our cases.” With that having been said, Dr. Sweet left the operating room and Dr. Choi stayed and watched over Tommy wondering what to say to the brother and patient when he woke up.

  ***

  Glen Blumps, Ann’s brother, age twelve, sat at his computer more puzzled than ever over the fact he couldn’t seem to find the answer he was looking for. His sister had returned home and he’d learned that after the operation the eyelids grew back so fast the doctors and staff was perplexed. Glen had learned from his physics teacher that there was an answer to any all questions a human mind put forth. Glen was determined to find the answer to his sister’s problem.

  Glen swung his chair around and stood up to stretch his legs and mind. He walked over to his window and looked down at the back yard. The newly remolded upstairs of the old colonial house built two hundred years ago, had a small back yard where a patch of green grass occupied the center and it was surrounded by flower beds that his mother mostly took care of. He really didn’t notice much as his mind was bent upon thinking about his sister and from what he had heard, another boy named Johnny, who turned thirteen today, had the same affliction.

  Glen did notice, however, that the grass was dead and so were the flower beds, with brownish grey last year's plants, bent over like an old man waiting for the time to return to the earth. Glen turned around and looked at his room that any mother would be proud of. Everything was in its place. Some might say he was over neat and maybe harbored some compulsive neatness, not akin to a twelve year old. His mother answered any and all who wondered or asked why he was a lover of math? His or her answer would be: math demands organization and strict rules to follow.

  The pale yellow walls were mostly devoid of the typical posters one might find in a young boy about to reach puberty. Instead pictures of old noted scientists, like Einstein, and other famous Greek and more recent mathematicians, like Lenore Blum, with the application of computer science, were among his favorites. Above his computer desk a book shelf held only a few books as most of his reading was done on the computer.

  One of his favorite books was Sherlock Holmes. Glen was purely fascinated by Sherlock’s deductive reasoning. And he enjoyed the vivid descriptions of England during the nineteenth century. The rest of the room was fairly standard as a chest of drawers and small closet summed it up. His single bed was made every morning.

  Glen sat back down and decided to take a look at something histori
c and not contemporary about strange things happening to people. It was too much of a coincidence that there were two like things happening at the same time. Anyone with half a brain would think it was an air born virus, but not to Glen. Recently he had been watching the History Channel about the Salem witches and he thought he might take a run in that direction.

  Using his favorite search engine, a tweaked version of the old Dogpile search engine, he began his research. While he was reading the history of the Salem witches, his thoughts drifted to the city library and his friend there. She was always a big help to him and she loved to do research for his esoteric ideas. Glen stopped reading and went to his email site. He sent a message to Ms. Woody briefly telling her what he was looking for. He told her he would be over to see her before the library closed at five on a Saturday.

  Glen decided he was hungry and maybe his sister was awake. After coming home she went to sleep with mother standing guard by her bedside. He stole silently down the hall and slowly opened the door to his sisters’ room. He thought Ann was sleeping soundly, but just as he started to close the door, a small voice asked who was there. Glen told her who he was and she told him to come in. Glen tentatively made his way to her bedside. She said, “What do you think about this strange thing Little Brother?” Even though he was a year younger, he was a lot bigger than her, but she always like to call him Little Brother.

  “I am not sure yet what to think of it, but one thing is clear, nobody in recent history has ever had what you have. I’ve done the research and looks like we need to look in strange places for an answer.” Ann knew her brother was a computer nerd and as she had never thought she needed him before, now she felt a strong kinship with him.

  She said: “You know Little Brother. I’m counting on you and not those silly doctors for a fix of my eyes. Those doctors are looking in all the wrong places and will keep using me and Johnny as test subjects for their own research. They think we are just kids but adults always think we are stupid and don’t know anything. I’m counting on you Glen,” and with a big smile from her face he reached out and squeezed her hand. Nothing in life bonds more tightly than blood of the same family.

  Joan woke up with a stiff neck from sleeping on the sofa and a tiredness that she had never felt before in her life. She looked at her watch and saw it was close to six and she needed to get ready for Ann’s birthday party, which she so foolishly had agreed to. A wake up shower was desired and she stumbled to her bedroom. Her husband was fast asleep on the bed snoring. He’s out for the duration, she thought as she peeled off her clothes and turned on the shower. First it would be hot and then, come hell or high water, cold would take her breath away. A few times like that and she would be right as rain, if rain is right, that is, or right as rain remains a mystery as deep as her daughters predicament.

  Twenty minutes later she slipped into some sweats and made her way back to the kitchen for preparation for the forthcoming night of soaked hankies, or soaked tissues from crying girls. As she put on her apron, the one the kids had gotten her for last Christmas, which had a teddy bear swinging in a park full of animals. In the pocket she found what she was looking for and blew her nose into the handkerchief.

  Upstairs Ann was doing the best she could to get ready. Glen had gone back to his room to continue his research. She stumbled into the hall bathroom and turned the shower on. This entire operation she was doing by feel and her anxiety level was off the scale. She adjusted the water temperature and climbed into the shower drawing the shower curtain across the rod. She found the shampoo bottle and gave it a pump or two and washed her hair. To her, taking a shower was not a problem, as she did it mostly with closed eyes. She even caught herself humming a popular song and in no time was drying her body with her big beach towel. Wrapping the towel around her she made her way down the hall feeling her way to her door. Once inside she put on her underwear, regardless of color and by feel in her chest of drawers, her sweat pants and sweat shirt. Almost ready she reached up on top of the chest of drawers for her comb and pretended to look in her mirror, as she combed her long blond hair. If truth be known, she felt not so bad and was anxious to have her friends come over.

  Of course it was dark outside, but Ann didn’t know that. She had gotten dressed in the dark and then by memory found the door and off she went to the kitchen where she knew and could hear her mother working there. Feeling once again the wall and hand banister of the stairs, she made it to the kitchen. She stopped just inside the doorway and leaned against the door jamb. “Mom, is that you?” She said.

  “Yes and how are you doing birthday girl?”

  “Good mom and what time is it?”

  “About six thirty and if I remember right, we said about seven would be a good time to come.” Joan knew her voice was not without strain and she felt her daughter’s knowing and feeling it as well. She continued in a more cheerful voice, “I called the pizza place and they will deliver around eight. Joan stopped what she was doing and felt the need to take her daughter in her arms and cry her heart out. But that would do neither of them any good, so she told her to sit down, and she would make her a hot cup of hot chocolate.

  Ann found the table and sat down rather ungracefully, but said nothing. Her mother noticed while she had the milk getting hot on the stove that her daughter was holding her head up higher than usual and that was typical of a blind person. A shudder went through her like a ghost had run past with a cold wind following it. Maybe this house is haunted, she thought. Just then Ann’s brother came in and sat down beside his sister.

  “Hey sis,” Ben whispered “I am getting closer and don’t want to say just yet until I do some more research. I’ll catch up with you later tonight after mom and dad hit the hay.” Ann mumbled some words and heard her mom bring over the hot chocolate. At that point, Ann felt a little better about things and now she had a glimmer of hope that life wasn’t so bad after all. Soon her friends would be here and she was looking forward to a night of gossip and stuff like that.

  Mom grabbed another mug and had made more than enough for two, and mixed the hot chocolate while she tried to listen to her son talking to her daughter. But he was talking so low that she couldn’t catch a word. She moved to the kitchen table with both cups and sat them down in front of her kids and said, “What were you two talking about?”

  “Not much mom,” Ann said. He asked me how many girls were coming and when they were coming. I told him I wasn’t sure how many were coming but I had invited five and I hope they all come.”

  “Oh, I am sure they’ll all be here,” she said, knowing their mothers would be more than curious about what was happening to Ann. She wasn’t up to the challenge of talking to the mothers when they brought their daughters to the party. She didn’t want to be short with them and it made her head hurt to think what she would tell each of them in turn. I’ll just wing it, she thought, and cleaned up the cups from the hot chocolate.

  As luck would have it, Roy came through the doorway into the kitchen looking fairly refreshed from a shower. He started to say something when the door bell rang. He did an about face and left Ann sitting at the table and his wife washing the dishes to answer the door. Jean was hoping that her husband could handle the mother and slowed down her washing and drying to look busy. Ann said, “Mom, I am going into the living room now and don’t bother to help me. I can make it just fine and I hear my best friend Alice talking to dad.”

  Joan watched her daughter stand and use the wall to feel her way to the doorway and turn left into the dining room which led to the living room. It seemed to Joan that already Ann was adapting to her handicap and that was a little comfort to her. Even so, she quietly followed her to the dining room and saw she was doing just fine. She also heard Roy talking to Alice’s mother and went back to the kitchen to let her husband take care of the greeting of the girls coming. She raised her eyes to the ceiling and gave a brief thanks to a higher power.

  Alice was walking towards the dining room when she saw
her best friend Ann. She gasped and raised her hand to her mouth and stared with eyes wide open at her friend who was moving down the wall side - stepping with dark glasses on. Alice was frozen in place and then started running to her friend saying her name over and over. The two girls wrapped their arms around each other and as her father knew, this would be the first of many tearful sights tonight. Meanwhile, Alice’s mother took pity and instead of being a busy body, turned and walked back to her car. For Roy it was blessing and he hoped the next party guest would follow suit. However, that was not the case with Janet and her nosy mother Silvia.

  Alice led Ann into the living room and sat on the giant sofa. This was a large living room and contrary to the small dining room, the largest room in the house. It had been extended by the previous owners and in addition to the remodeling of the interior and a partial exterior; a full basement had been added complete with its own bathroom.

  Rarely did anyone sit in the living room and the family spent most of their time down in the basement family room. However, on a special occasion, like when the grandparents came, or the parents had a party, they used the living room where a large fireplace occupied the wall opposite the front door. A large bay window looked upon the side of the house which faced its neighbor, divided by a space where a lawn bordered by a row of trees, blocked the house next door for a bit of privacy. The other wall that ran from the opposite side held a half bath and a closet for coats and winter shoes. Next to the door running from the door to the end of the wall a large bookshelf lined with the years of collecting books that was one of Joan’s favorite pastimes: prowling about used book stores for anything and everything related to New England and its history.

  Now as Alice sat on the sofa with Ann her eyes scanned the fireplace and its large mantel which held an array of family pictures. Next to the fireplace a china cabinet held a bunch of trinkets that were most unrecognizable to her. Small glass figurines, candle holders, a bunch of what looked like toy dolls all in a miniature size gave off a warm feeling of home. Alice had kicked off her shoes and as she sat on the sofa wriggled her toes in the thick baize carpet that matched the large sofa and two lazy boy recliners. A few landscape prints of New England gave off a pleasant feeling. Especially the large scene of the Atlantic Ocean and the beach, where an old ship that could have been one of Columbus trio, sat off shore with figures on the beach looking inland, hung above the fireplace.