The Squeaky Clean Skeleton

by R A Muth

  Waving the gun again, Elizabeth screeched, "Stop that voodoo hissing! Asher and Thom told me what you did, summoning Christine back from the dead with your séance!"

  "But I didn't--"

  Elizabeth cut me off, snarling, "Shut up! I'm so tired of hearing your voice. I should have ended you when you first walked in here. Unlike when I killed Christine, though, this time, I'm going to get the job done right. I'm going to stay here until your bodies completely decompose, down to the last bit of your DNA, and I don't care how long it takes!"

  "Won't Asher and Thom come looking for you?" I asked.

  "No. They never come in here. You'd better start praying because you don't have much time left." Elizabeth waved the gun toward Hazel. "You, there, hand me my gas mask. Those fumes are killers." Her cackle rang throughout the barn.

  I couldn't believe it. This crazy cat woman was for-real crazy! My knees shook so bad I could imagine the sound of them knocking together, and fear clouded my mind. As I watched Hazel obediently retrieve the gas mask, tears streaming like waterfalls over the apples of her cheeks, the shadow again caught in my peripheral vision, and I gasped.

  A feline howl ripped through the air. Elizabeth jerked backward. She swatted her shoulder with the hand holding the gun before screaming. I could see blood soaking through the shoulder of her blouse.

  But what was attacking her? Before I could fully explore the fleeting thought, the sound of a gunshot rang out.

  Hazel's histrionics filled the air as Elizabeth stumbled backward. As she fell, she hit her head on the corner of the table. The gun lay on the ground between us.

  "Hazel! Get the gun!" I cried.

  Hazel confessed, "But I don't want to touch the gun!"

  I sprinted to where the gun lay and kicked it under the table, far out of the older woman’s reach. A pitchfork stood in the corner, and I grabbed it, tossing it to Hazel yelped loudly as her hands wrapped around the tool's wooden handle.

  "Are you okay?" I stared at my friend, genuinely concerned for her well-being.

  Hazel half-hiccupped, half-sobbed, "I'm, I mean, I'll be okay. Is she d-d-dead?"

  "No, I'm sure she's alive, but if she does move, be prepared to stab first, ask questions later."

  "Okay, yeah. I can do this. Elizabeth's bleeding a lot and, no, wait, something else is here. Is this one of her cats?" Hazel pointed.

  "What? She shot one of her cats?" Peering for a closer look, an array of emotions, including anger, fear, and despair, surged through me. "This cat is Rune, Hazel! She shot my freaking cat!" But more than that, she shot my hunky Irishman. Leaning in close, I whispered, “Rune, please be okay. You have to be okay. We were just starting to get to know each other.”

  "No! Who shoots a freaking cat? Oh, you’ve really got it coming now, lady!" Hazel’s voice carried over my sobs.

  I looked up in time to see her brandishing the pitchfork and stepping toward Elizabeth, who lay prone upon the floor. Before she could follow through with whatever action she had in mind, the furry black feline began to glow. I let instinct take over and scooted back, unsure of what to expect.

  "Um, Tori? What's going on?"

  "It's Rune," I gulped. "He's, oh my gosh, I was not expecting this to happen here, in front of others. You see this, right?"

  "Tori? What the heck is happening to your cat?" Hazel's eyes widened, and she shook her head in disbelief. "And what do you mean, happen here? Do you mean to tell me it's happened before?"

  I wished I could tell her it was a trick of the light, but the event unfolding before us was no illusion. Rune-the-human staggered to his feet, and his eyes met mine. With the grin that sent my pulse racing, his eyes met mine and he wheezed out, "Ach, lass. This is new."

  Before I could reply to him, or address any of Hazel's questions—asked or unasked, footsteps thundered from below.

  "Everybody, freeze!" Gavin's voice preceded his appearance at the top of the stairs. With his gun drawn, he stepped into the workroom and looked around. "Okay, Queen Victoria and Witch Hazel, what have you done now? Every time you've called me lately, it's involved a dead body. And since one of you is holding a pitchfork, I can’t imagine you’re innocent this time."

  I turned to Hazel. "You called your brother?"

  "I'm pretty sure Elizabeth Sparrows is still alive," she informed Gavin, ignoring my question.

  He smirked and used his free hand to pat the cuffs hanging from his belt. “Pretty sure? Uh-huh. Likely story.”

  "Hazel, you called your brother?" I asked again, raising my voice.

  Rolling her eyes as if we were still teenagers, Hazel gave a little snort. "Yes. I called him before we left and told him if he didn't hear from me in an hour, to come and check things out."

  "But it hasn't been an hour," I protested.

  "What can I say? I'm horrible at taking orders from my sister." Gavin smirked again.

  "Although there's so much truth to that statement," Hazel agreed, "I'm glad it worked out this time. Gavin, put that thing away before you hurt someone." When he hesitated, she added, "And if you don't put your gun away, then I'm telling Mom."

  Gavin relaxed his stance and waved his gun toward Rune before returning it to his holster. "Whatever. As if you’re the boss of me. Who's this?" He gestured toward Rune.

  At that moment, however, Rune's legs gave out, and he crumpled in a heap on the floor.

  Chapter 35

  "Rune!" Looking from Hazel to Gavin, I implored, "Please, we have to get help for him."

  "Gavin--" Hazel began.

  I cut her off, “He needs to get to a hospital, now!”

  The officer held up his radio. "I'm already on it."

  As Gavin called for an ambulance, I rushed to Rune's side. He was conscious, but barely. "Rune, what's going on? Why can they see you?"

  "Because we broke the curse," he coughed out.

  I leaned in and lowered my voice, "We did? But how?"

  "I had to do a selfless act to repair my selfish ways from the past," his words came out more labored now. "Had to save the life of someone, lass." He paused to cough.

  I stroked the side of his head. "You could have saved anyone."

  He whispered, "Not anyone. Someone I love."

  If I hadn't been so close to him, I would have missed it. He started to speak again, but I shushed him. Sirens wailed in the distance. "You lie still. Help is on the way. We'll have plenty of time to talk later."

  As I comforted Rune, I could hear bits of Hazel's conversation with Gavin as they discussed what transpired before he arrived. I noticed that she left out the part about my cat's metamorphosis into a full-grown man.

  The sound of footsteps on the stairs distracted me, and I saw Asher enter the loft, followed closely by Thom.

  "Mother!" Asher shrieked, rushing to Elizabeth's side. "What happened? What did they do to you?"

  "You have that backward. It's more like what Elizabeth tried to do to us," Hazel defended.

  Elizabeth regained consciousness with a start and pulled her bulky form into a sitting position. "Asher, honey, these foul women tried to hurt your Mama. They were going to ruin our brewery and all it stands for."

  Hazel and I traded quizzical expressions, and I blurted, "No, we weren't trying to hurt you or ruin your business. You did pull a gun on us, though."

  "That's enough," Gavin roared. "No more discussion until I get a police report from each of you."

  The sirens stopped, and a pair of EMTs arrived with a cot. They looked at the scene, at each other, then to Gavin. One of them asked, "Do we need to call a second unit?"

  "Nah. Mrs. Sparrows is okay to walk out. I'll give her a ride in the back of my car." He patted his handcuffs.

  "You will do no such thing! She should go in the ambulance. She's older, and she's a lady!" Asher's protests filled the loft.

  Gavin stepped toward him. "Your mother is many things, but she is no lady, especially considering what she tried to do to my sister and our friend. In fact, your mother is
lucky she's still alive."

  Asher gaped, but Thom laid a hand on his arm and whispered something in his ear. Whatever he said must have calmed Asher as the brewery owner's shoulders slumped, and he muttered, "All right. But I'd like to ride with her. She's still my Mother."

  "That can be arranged." Gavin grinned.

  Rune spent the night in the hospital. After doctors stitched the wound in his shoulder, he underwent a battery of tests. Removing the curse must have removed all traces of cat from his body as he passed everything with flying colors. If I hadn't seen him transform with my own eyes, I never would have believed his story about how he came to live in the bottle, and so forth.

  Rune was barely settled into his room when Gavin and Officer Sterling arrived to take our statements.

  “Oh, and I have a voice recording of the entire thing,” I offered after I signed my handwritten account of what took place in the barn.

  Gavin raised both eyebrows and stared at me. “Well, well. It takes a lot to impress me, but you’ve managed to do it. Do you mind if I take your phone into evidence?”

  “Not at all, as long as you let Hazel know the doctor says we should be ready to leave by mid-morning,” I said as I handed over the device.

  “Not a problem. I still have to get her statement. You should know that an officer will remain posted at your door until the doctors discharge your friend here.”

  I glanced at the bed, but Rune had drifted off to sleep. “All right. Thanks, for that.”

  “And Tori? I had no idea you were in a relationship. Can you forgive me for all that stuff I said before? It wasn’t right and, I’m just glad you and Hazel are okay. What you did was really stupid, but really brave, and well, like I said. I’m glad you’re both okay.”

  Did Gavin really apologize for being a jerk? It seems breaking Rune’s curse turned my whole world on end. What would happen next? I realized Gavin waited for a response and nodded. “Yeah, Gavin. It’s all good. There’s nothing to forgive.”

  “Thanks. That means a lot.” He reminded me once more about the officer guarding the door before leaving to meet with Hazel.

  I spent a fitful night trying to sleep in a wooden chair in Rune’s hospital room. Between the medical staff coming in and out to run tests and Rune sleeping off narcotic painkillers, there wasn't much opportunity for the two of us to talk. The same held true for the next morning, and by the time the doctor arrived to sign the discharge papers, Hazel was there with the van to drive us back to my house. If his arm wasn’t in a sling, you’d never have known Rune had any injuries from the previous night’s adventure.

  Rune was a good sport about riding in a wheelchair from his hospital room to the curb, but he insisted he was fine to climb into the captain's chair behind the driver's seat without our assistance.

  "So, I have questions, but we need to make one super-fast pitstop if you're both okay with it." She cast a glance at Rune's reflection in the rearview mirror.

  "Where are we stopping?" I asked.

  Hazel replied, "Mocha Joe's to get coffee and donuts. Don't tell me you filled up on hospital food."

  "Only if Rune's okay with it." I looked back, and his lazy grin, although innocent, brought a blush to my cheeks.

  "Aye, lass. I'd not reject the offer of a latte. Do they have coconut? I read about it on the goggle. It sounds wicked tasty."

  "They do, and it is wicked tasty," I assured before facing forward in my seat, smiling at hearing him adopt the local slang word wicked for the first time.

  Hazel gave me a sidelong glance and lowered her voice, "Girlfriend? What's a goggle?"

  "He means Google. He's still getting the hang of technology."

  "That is adorable." Her eyes darted between the rearview mirror and the road.

  I watched the scenery through the front window of the van until Hazel parallel parked it in front of the coffee shop.

  "Wait here," she instructed. "I'll be right back."

  Chapter 36

  The moment we were alone in the van, Rune asked, "Are ye all right, lass? I've never seen ye this quiet."

  "I'm okay, thanks. It's been a long couple of days. There's a lot to consider."

  "And discuss," he added.

  When I failed to reply, the ensuing silence stretched between us until Hazel, at last, returned to pass around to-go cups of coffee and sugar-dusted donuts filled with beach plum jam.

  "If you weren't already my best friend, you definitely would be now." I took a bite of the donut and whimpered a little.

  Rune took a sip from his cup and gave a deep sigh of contentment. "Aye. Thank ye, lass."

  The drive from Mocha Joe's to my house took no time at all, and despite his protests, Hazel and I helped Rune inside, where I ordered him straight into the recliner.

  "I'm not a child, lassies. I can sit in a chair without yer assistance." Rune settled into the recliner while Hazel and I perched on opposite ends of the couch.

  "So, what now that we've broken the curse?" I asked, deliberately avoiding mention of details about how or why it happened. The situation was complicated enough without adding romance into the mix.

  Hazel sighed. "I still can't believe you kept this from me."

  Ignoring my friend, I continued, "Do you go back to your own time now? Are you here to stay?"

  "Yer guess is as good as mine, lass." Rune's gaze bore into mine until Hazel cleared her throat. Turning to my bestie, he gave her a brief explanation of the Irish fairies cursing Rune to live like a cat and my unintended role in helping him break the curse.

  "Why couldn't you tell Tori how she could help you break the curse in the beginning?" Hazel asked.

  "It would have been sidestepping the rules, lass," Rune explained. "And I've been many things, but never a cheater. If Tori knew, and if she tried to help spur along breaking the curse, there could have been bigger punishments."

  Hazel's phone chirped to life, and she gave a dramatic sigh. "It's Marci. What does she want?"

  "Answer and find out." I wrapped my fingers around the paper coffee cup and took a grateful sip of the caffeinated elixir.

  Marci was loud enough that Hazel didn't have to relay her side of the conversation. When the call abruptly ended, she stood. "Well, come on, Tori. Timing isn't ideal, but Marci asked that we meet her at Mocha Joe's."

  "I can't leave. What if Rune needs something?" The argument sounded flimsy, even to my ears, but I wouldn't have minded spending some one-on-one time with my former housecat.

  Rune used his uninjured arm to balance as he stood. "Would ye like me to accompany ye, las?"

  "Are you feeling well enough to go back out?" I tilted my head toward his shoulder, stabilized by his arm resting in the sling.

  By way of answering, the hunky Irishman strode through the living room and into the kitchen, where he threw his empty coffee cup into the trash can. When we didn't immediately follow, he called, "Another latte would help me recover more quickly, lassies."

  We were back at Mocha Joe's within minutes, and I was surprised to see Marci waiting for us at our usual table.

  Before we could join her, Ivy came from around the corner and hugged us tightly. "Tori and Hazel, are you okay? I missed Hazel when she came in earlier, but it's so good to see you now. Do you need more coffee? Joe! Fix these girls whatever they like! Do you want your usual, girls? Fix them the usual, Joe! And you," her eyes swept up Rune's lanky form until she gazed at him. "Well, look at you. Where did you come from?"

  "Ireland," Rune answered honestly, rolling his R a little more than I was used to hearing.

  "Well, aren't you a handsome gentleman? And you're with Tori?" Without waiting for a reply, she went on, "Half the town was here when Gavin's call came across the police scanner. I said to Joe, 'You need to come out of retirement. This town has had a murder and an attempted murder in the same week. Nothing like this happened when you were on the force.' Didn't I tell you that, Joe?"

  When Ivy paused for breath, her husband grunted. "I'm not sur
e about all that but, unlike the rest of the town who sees you as heroes, I'm not a fan of you girls playing Nancy Drew. Playing amateur sleuth is how everyday citizens get hurt--or worse."

  "That's what I tried to tell them," Gavin said from the doorway as he entered the shop. He pulled my phone from the pocket of his shirt and handed it to me. “Thanks. Our tech guys were able to download the files first thing this morning. If we need anything else, we’ll let you know.”

  Then, in a rare show of decent human behavior, Gavin drew Hazel and me into a friendly bear hug before shaking Rune's hand. "Thanks for being there to protect my sister and our friend last night. I didn't get a chance to introduce myself, but I'm Officer Gavin Rjasko, and this is my partner, Officer Davis Sterling. Since you're new in town, maybe we could grab a beer and watch a game sometime."

  My instinct was to protest on Rune’s behalf, but I needn't have worried. Rune reached out with his arm that wasn't in the sling and met Gavin's hand with a firm shake. "Wicked! Of course, I'll have to make sure me lass has no other plans for us."

  If Rune's reply had any effect on Gavin, then the police officer didn't let it show.

  He called me his lass, I thought as a shiver of delight run through me. Out loud, I explained, "Wicked, indeed. Can discuss it later? We're meeting someone and keeping her waiting," I said, as much as to inform Gavin as to remind Hazel and Rune.

  Yapping from near the floor stopped me in my tracks and good manners forced me to stop to greet my neighbor. “Hey, Puff Daddy. Does Ivy know you’re in here?” I winked at Mrs. Benefield.

  “She’s a little distracted,” the older lady giggled and held up a takeout bag. “Puff Daddy and I had to stop in and get our reward for walking across town.”

  “Awesome!” I reached down to pet Puff Daddy between the ears and stood again.

  “Oh, and Tori? I’m glad you helped put Liz Sparrows away. She was wicked bad for business.” With a wink she and her dog waddled out onto the sidewalk before I could respond.