At the grocery store I was sure the rest of the world knew about my secret life with HIM. I hadn’t bathed that morning. I wanted his scent, his semen, his love bites upon me. I wore them like a badge. I was sure men knew. They looked at me in surprise. They could sense I was being fucked in a very special way. I believe they wanted me too; they wanted to lay claim to me like he had.
25
A trip with HIM, destination unknown …
One is very crazy when in love.
Sigmund Freud
I spent the weekend with Rebecca and the baby trying not to think about HIM other than to replay every single thing he’d done to me sexually. I lay on my couch late Sunday afternoon when I heard a text coming through on my phone. My heart stopped.
HIM: Pack ur bags. Early Xmas present.
ME: When?
HIM: 2morrow afternoon.
ME: Where r we going?
HIM: Want 2 surprise u again. Meet me @ airport @ 2pm.
ME: K.
HIM: I plan to fuck u non-stop.
ME: Yes. What else is new? Ha Ha.
26
What happens in Vegas …
Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you’ve got to say, and say it hot.
D. H. Lawrence
I met HIM at the airport. He told me we were going to Las Vegas. When we arrived a town car brought us to one of the high-end hotels, where he had booked us a penthouse suite. The view of the city was remarkable: even during the day the neon signs blinked on and off, beckoning us to their casinos and events. Of course he didn’t waste any time making love to me in our suite. He bent me over the back of the sofa, unzipped my jeans and pulled them down to my knees while almost simultaneously taking off his belt and lowering his pants. Then he fucked me doggy-style, his favourite position of all.
After a while he lay down with me on the bed. By now we’d taken off all our clothes. He kissed me THERE. He kissed me over and over and then, using his tongue, my God, his tongue, I climaxed in a rush of such pleasure. It was inexplicable. We lay there afterwards. I loved HIM then. I just did.
Later we walked around the hotel shops. He insisted we go into a boutique where he bought me a Versace dress. By now I understood I was to just take direction from HIM. He told me he’d take the dress back to the room. I followed HIM to the spa at the hotel where he ordered a full-day spa for me.
I put on a terrycloth robe in the changing room and was greeted by a handsome young blond man. He told me in broken English that he was from Holland. He led me to a massage room and left me, only to return a few minutes later once I was settled on the table. The massage was soothing and mildly erotic, but I was thinking of HIM all the time. I was in heaven for an hour, just heaven. When he was done he suggested I use the women’s steam room before I showered. It was empty. I threw off my robe and lay there naked. I do not know why but I was so turned on by the heat and the steam, I had to put my fingers in my pussy. I was so wet down there. I climaxed once again with such intensity.
Later I showered. When I came out again into the reception area of the spa, I was told that my lover had also ordered a hair and make-up appointment. The hair stylist greeted me with a grin. She was an older woman with the body of a twenty-year-old. It took a long time for her to blow dry my hair and then eventually wrap it into a chignon. Once my hair was done, a young woman with short spiky brown hair took me to her chair where she spent an hour working on my make-up. When it was complete, I looked in the mirror and smiled. My God, I thought, I look beautiful. From her pocket she handed me a black velvet jewellery box.
‘Your man bought you these while you were busy with your massage,’ she said. I opened the box to find a beautiful set of teardrop crystal earrings.
‘Put them on,’ she whispered.
It felt strange getting into my jeans and sweater to go back to the room. By now it was early evening. When I got to our suite he was in one of the terrycloth bathrobes. He suggested I put on mine. He had ordered dinner while I was at the spa. We sat in the suite eating it while looking out at the twinkling lights of the city.
When we were done eating, he told me I needed to put the dress on. I went into the bathroom to change. I no longer wore panties when I was with HIM. I knew he liked quick access to my pussy. When I returned to the room he threw off his bathrobe. He came from behind me, pushed up the back of the dress and fucked me quickly.
He gave us just a short time to recover. ‘We’re going to the tables,’ he told me. I waited for HIM to dress as I looked out at the city. What a strange and peculiar vacation it had been, I thought. I didn’t feel like myself with this dress that cost a fortune and the crystal earrings. I was a junior college instructor and organic gardening enthusiast – I wasn’t this woman he’d made me become for the weekend. Yet it didn’t matter. I was with HIM. HIM.
He reappeared in a suit and tie, looking wonderfully handsome. I walked up to HIM and kissed HIM, my body against his. I could feel his erection.
‘Let’s go to the tables,’ he said.
We went downstairs to the casino. I watched HIM play poker for higher stakes than I knew possible. I realised quickly that I was to stand at the table in my dress as an ornament. I understood that. While playing poker he won the equivalent of half my year’s salary, then lost it, only to win much of it back.
It was past midnight when he brought me upstairs again. He grabbed my hand and led me to our bed. ‘Take off your dress,’ he commanded. ‘Lie on your side.’
I did what he told me. I knew I had to do that. I’d lost any control a long time ago.
He took off his clothes, lay down on the bed with me and spooned me.
He took the bottle of Astroglide from the bedside table. I could feel his fingers playing with my ass and then he stuck several fingers up it. Soon he thrust his cock into my ass. At first I felt such alarm I wanted to scream. He moved his cock in and out of my ass until it was fully inside me. Then pleasure took over. Every nerve in my body felt charged; it was intense, indescribable. I began playing with my pussy with my fingers as he continued to fuck me in my ass. My pussy was so completely wet. Oh, my God, I thought. Oh, my God. Yes, I thought. Yes. And oh, I thought, oh. And yes. Oh yes. And he wants me. He wants it in the ass. And I am giving HIM this. Oh, I am giving HIM what he wants. I love it so much.
He was about to climax when he withdrew his cock. I felt his come on my butt before he collapsed beside me.
When we’d both recovered, he pressed me into HIM.
‘Did you like it?’ he asked me.
‘Yes.’
‘You know,’ he said, ‘when I fuck you in the ass it’s because I am branding you.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Branding means I own you,’ he said almost harshly.
I looked at HIM then.
‘I own you,’ he said. ‘You’re mine. No one else is going to fuck you. Not now. Not ever. You understand that?’ he asked. ‘You are not to fuck anyone else.’
‘Of course not.’
‘What about THE BOY?’
‘Why are you asking about him now? I haven’t seen him since that day.’
‘You’re never to be with THE BOY again.’
‘Of course not. I only want to be with you.’
I was confused but I told myself it didn’t matter; he’d just laid claim to me.
And then he got out of bed and began putting on his clothes again. He told me he was going back downstairs to the casino.
‘I want you to stay in the room,’ he commanded. As he opened the door the light in the hotel hallway showed a glint in his eyes.
I didn’t expect to fall asleep so quickly but I did. He came back at sunrise. I woke up momentarily and watched HIM throw off his clothing.
I woke up again later but he was still sleeping. I put on my jeans and a sweater and went to a nearby hotel that offered a breakfast buffet. There were few people up yet. I ate my breakfast and went back to the hotel ro
om, where I drew a bath and took off my clothes again. I sat in the tub for what seemed like hours. Every time the water cooled off, I’d drain some and add more hot water. My whole body ached. This life was so foreign to me. But it was part of who he was. If I wanted to keep HIM in my life I’d agree to his conditions. It didn’t matter to me. I’d do whatever he wanted me to do. I’d lost control of my life the day I’d met HIM.
I got out of the bathtub and woke HIM up. Our flight was scheduled for the early afternoon. He got out of bed and began to pack and soon we were in a taxi riding back to the airport. We barely talked en route or on the plane. When we arrived back home, he kissed me once and then we separated. I didn’t hear from HIM for over a week. I hated it. I wasn’t sure what had happened in Las Vegas. He’d been so mysterious and strange. Had he lost a lot of money at the casino? Was he upset with me? I just wanted HIM to love me. That seemed so simple. Yet I was going about it all wrong. I was so hopelessly out of control that I hated it. I had no idea what to do. I just didn’t.
27
Confusion …
Christmas loomed in front of us. Since we’d returned from Vegas I’d been staying with HIM at the downtown hotel pretty much throughout the week and just going home at weekends. Sam was feeding and watching over Esme and her babies. It would be Christmas in only a couple of days.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and for us things returned to ‘normal’. I was thrilled he wanted me downtown full-time. During the day I started going to the beautiful library across the street. I’d loved libraries ever since I was a kid, when my mother would take me at least weekly for a fresh set of books to read.
I’d get back to the hotel in time for HIM to return. One evening, as I lay naked on the hotel bed, I heard HIM entering the room. He rushed up to me and took me in his arms. He kissed me and then fiddled with something in his pants pocket, took out a jewellery box and handed it to me.
‘Open this and put it on now,’ he said.
I opened the box to find a strand of pearls. They were stunning. He sat down on the bed and I turned around so he could fasten the pearls. When I turned back to HIM he gasped.
‘Oh, my God,’ he whispered in my ear. ‘I’m going to have to fuck you. The image of you with the pearls is so sexy.’
And then we were wrapped in each other’s bodies. He lay on top of me, then rearranged himself in a sitting position and pulled me against HIM, one leg on each side of his body. My arms fell back. I looked into his eyes. They were enormous. I knew he was going to have to fuck me hard. I knew as he penetrated me that he would take me to that place again.
‘You’re my woman, my woman, my woman,’ he said as he fucked me hard.
Once again he was laying claim to me. I closed my eyes. I was so lost to this man, so completely lost.
Later he took me into the shower. He turned on the European hand-held shower nozzle and found the setting that made the water come out in a steady stream. He pointed it at my pussy. It took a moment to get the rhythm but then I began to relax into it. I realised he wanted me to come with the flow of the water. I leaned against HIM, feeling the water streaming into my pussy. I shuddered with intense pleasure. The water. And it was. And it is. And he with me. My body against his. It was all about the fusion of our two bodies. I came with such explicit pleasure and collapsed on the floor of the shower.
He turned the water off, sat down next to me and held me until I had regained my breath. Then he kissed me. He lifted me back up to a standing position, turned me round so that I was facing the shower wall and began fucking me in my ass while I was pinned against the wall. My body felt so full of his cock. It was excruciatingly enthralling. I shuddered with such deep excitement. I felt violated and at the same time loved. I understood he had to do it. I wanted HIM inside me this way. Always.
Afterwards he towelled me off tenderly. ‘I’m taking the kids to Utah to ski on Christmas Day,’ he told me. ‘We’ll be back on the twenty-eighth.’
My heart stopped. I couldn’t bear the idea of being without HIM for even one minute.
We lay down on the bed but he fell asleep almost immediately. I lay next to HIM. We hadn’t had dinner and I was hungry and upset. I just lay next to HIM, looking at his beautiful naked body asleep beside me. I looked at his cock and realised I was trying to memorise it. I finally fell asleep.
When I woke the following morning, he was gone. I had one more evening with HIM before he’d be going to Utah.
He’d left me a card. I took it out of the envelope. It was a photograph of a reindeer in the snow. I opened it. It was filled with cash – $1,000. ‘Baby, buy yourself a nice dress for tonight. It’s Christmas Eve!’
It was around ten in the morning. I had the entire day in front of me. I felt extremely restless. I called THE BOY.
He answered on the first ring.
‘I’m downtown. Can you come spend some time with me?’
‘Are you with HIM?’
‘Yes.’
‘And you want me to come see you? Why?’
‘I miss you.’
‘Why should I come?’
‘We had a good thing. It’s the holidays. I’ll treat you to lunch. That’s all.’
I could hear him mulling it over in his mind.
‘Well. OK.’
We agreed on the restaurant and time. I still had a couple of hours before I would see THE BOY.
I went down to the hotel boutique and found a Christmas dress of green and red velvet with matching red velvet high-heel shoes. The dress clung to my body beautifully. The total came to a little over $600. The shopkeeper suggested I continue to shop. I found a pretty patchwork dress. It looked lovely and I knew THE BOY would love it. I asked the shopkeeper if I could wear it out of the store.
THE BOY was waiting for me at the restaurant. We sat down and opened the menus, but before we could choose our starters, THE BOY began lecturing me. ‘I always thought you were a masochist for being with HIM but now I see how I am too,’ he said. ‘I shouldn’t be meeting with you. And why on earth would you want to jeopardise things with HIM by seeing me?’
‘I don’t know.’
I threw the menu down on the table.
‘I’m not hungry. Let’s go to a different hotel and make love to each other. I really need that,’ I implored him.
‘Really?’
‘Yes. I need your touch.’
THE BOY was already standing up.
We walked down several streets until we found a small hotel. At the front desk I took out my credit card and waited for the woman to check us in.
‘One or two room cards?’ she asked. It seemed an odd question – we weren’t planning on leaving the room.
We took off our clothes quickly. We stood facing each other and held each other tightly. He was inside me within minutes and came almost immediately.
‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘A minute doesn’t go by that I don’t think about you.’
‘That’s sweet,’ but I was already done with THE BOY. I wanted him gone.
He must have guessed how distracted I was feeling.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, leading me to the bed.
We lay down, facing each other. I began to shake as he held me.
‘Shh,’ he said. ‘You’ll be OK. Maybe this was a mistake.’
‘Yes. It was.’
‘Do you have any idea why you wanted to see me?’
‘I missed you.’
‘No offence, but you’re really screwed up. Honest to God, I’d move heaven and earth for you, but I can’t believe you begged me to come down here and now you’re acting like you’re comatose.’
‘It’s just that I didn’t have anything to do today.’
THE BOY stood up and began to pace. I watched him from the bed.
‘Come back over here,’ I said.
I sat at the edge of the bed. He came and stood next to me. His penis was flaccid.
I placed my hand on his cock until he was hard. Then I put my mouth
over his cock and flicked my tongue against the head. He began to move to the sensation, holding on to my shoulders for support. I licked the shaft of his penis until I was down near his balls. I buried my head in them, then took one ball into my mouth, still flicking my tongue. Then I moved to the other ball and sucked that. He’d been moaning, but all of a sudden he stopped and turned me around so he could fuck me doggy-style. I waited for him on all fours. I was very excited.
‘Oh, yes,’ I cried. ‘Please.’
He slid his cock into my pussy and began fucking me. Again he came quickly. I felt his come slide down the side of my leg.
He got up, walked round to the other side of the bed and sat there with his head down. I waited to see what he would do next. I moved back up the bed and repositioned myself against the pillows, still looking at him.
‘That was nice,’ I said. ‘Very sexy.’
He didn’t answer. He stood up and began to dress. He didn’t look back at me while I lay shivering on the bed. I heard the door shut as he left.
* * *
It was difficult to shift gears. I was angry with THE BOY. I went back to the hotel and waited for HIM in his hotel room. I took a long bath, hoping to get THE BOY’s come and smell off me. I put on the green and red velvet dress I’d bought at the boutique. I looked lovely. I knew he’d be happy with my appearance.
He arrived holding yet another present, in a small jewellery box. I opened it to find a small pair of diamond earrings.
Our relationship was so different now. He was giving me money and presents and he was being incredibly consistent about wanting to see me. Yet there was some part of the arrangement that I didn’t trust. Soon he’d leave me to take his kids skiing for the holidays. I couldn’t bear the idea of being without HIM for even one day. I’d been with HIM for weeks now without a break.
‘I’m taking you to a lovely restaurant tonight,’ he said. ‘Put on the earrings. I’m going to clean up a bit and then we can go.’
Him Page 13