Accidentally Perfect

by Torrie Robles

  “I want to know why? Why is she good enough and I never was?”

  “Fuck Diane, you know why. You were, and apparently still are sleeping with my father. Why would you ever think I would be alright with everything?”

  “This was never about your father. It has always been about you and me and the fact that I was never good enough for you. Is it because my family doesn’t have billions in the bank? Does money mean that much to you?”

  “Fuck no, and if you ever knew me, then you wouldn’t be asking that question. Your family name and what they may or may not have has nothing to do with the fact that I’ve never had any type of feelings when it came to you.”

  “I don’t believe that. Not for one minute.”

  “Well then, you are delusional Diane. You were a fuck; that’s it. Someone who was there when I wanted to get off, blow a load, get my fucking rocks off. To have my dick sucked and feel like I didn’t have to return the favor. That’s it. It didn’t hurt that you looked good on my arm when I needed to show my face in public. You’ve always been a means to an end for me. That is it.” I know I’m being a complete ass, but I’m not sure how else to get through to her. How much more can one person take because they can’t understand that they are not wanted, let alone loved in any capacity? I see her eyes flick over my shoulder.

  “I was pregnant Nathan.”

  I hear a gasp come from behind me. I knew it was Laney before I even turned around. Once I did, the look on her face was one of hurt and confusion. Her eyes were instantly filled with tears. Once she looked at me, she saw the truth in my eyes. Realization quickly settles over her face. Laney knows I would never keep anything like this from her. She knows how important being open and honest is to me. If I wasn’t either of those things, then I would be just like my father. She gave me a slight nod of understanding. “You knew Nathan; you knew, and you did nothing.” Diane’s voice breaks the connection between Laney and me.

  I turn back around to face her, “Diane stop it.” I hear Laney take a few steps closer to me.

  “I will not stop it, Nathan. How do you expect me to act when you can so easily discard me and your child like I was yesterday’s trash.”

  “You really need to be on Broadway because your acting skills are impeccable Diane, seriously. I should actually applaud you for your performance.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Nathan.”

  “Jesus, first of all, there was no child Diane. Do you think I am that stupid? Do you

  think I would ever allow my dick anywhere near you're worn out, infested twat that you call a vagina without protection? Do you?”

  “Condoms are ever one hundred percent, Nathan. I lost our baby. Can you be that cruel to not even acknowledge it? You were going to be a father, Nathan. You were going to have a child, and you never gave me or our baby a chance.”

  “You were. Not. Pregnant. I own a fucking security company, Diane. I spent several years in the military. I am a pro at recon. Do you actually think you could slip a fake pregnancy by me? If you were really that smart, then you would have gotten knocked up by my father and tried to pass it off as mine.”

  “There was no need to fake anything Nathan because I am not lying. I don’t care if you believe me or not. I know what was true, and I know the loss I felt when I lost our child. I had to deal with it all alone because you were gone, hooking up with whomever, and fucking her.”

  “For Christ sakes Diane. We have been over for months. Months. I haven’t touched you in I don’t know how long and you are still trying to play this card? I figured you out Diane, months ago when you and my father were trying to pull one over on me and take the company my mother wanted me to have. I outed you, I humiliated you, and you are still trying to play the “poor me” card, and “Nathan is such a bastard”. How much longer are you going to hold on to things that were never there?”

  “I really don’t know what planet you’re living on, Diane.” I hear Laney’s voice from behind me.

  “This doesn’t concern you. Once he’s done with you, once he’s tired playing daddy to someone else’s kids, he’ll be back in my bed.”

  “Oh, I highly doubt that, seeing Nathan is going to be a father to his own child in about eight months.”

  I turn to Laney. The look on her face is one of fear. She bites her lip when her nerves get the best of her from my lack of response. “I’m going to be a father?” She nods her head.

  “I don’t fucking believe it. You have got to be kidding me.” The sound of Diane’s voice grates on my nerves. I do not need to hear her voice at this moment in time.

  “I don’t give a shit what you believe. You mean nothing to me or my husband. You are a pathetic excuse for a woman Diane. You’re so fucked up in the head you actually think with Nathan treating you the way he does, you still have a chance with him, with my husband.”

  “Laney, my God, what is going on in here? We can hear yelling from the patio. People are going to talk if you keep this up.” I turn around and see Vivian standing in the center of the crowd made up of my father, Natalie, Brad Stella and Troy.

  “We’ll be right out. I was just coming in to get Nathan. It seems that he was being held up by an unwanted distraction.”

  “Joseph, she actually thinks she’s pregnant. She actually thinks she’s going to have Nathan’s child, and that he would actually want it. Can you believe that?” I looked at my father, and his lips were pressed in a hard, thin line.

  “It’s true. I examined her myself. Laney is caring Nathan’s baby.” Stella spoke up.

  “Laney, what is she talking about? She can’t be serious.” Vivian looks like she might pass out.

  “Yes, it’s true mother. I’m going to have a baby.”

  “Why would you allow this to happen? You are barely married. Have you not learned anything from your past? I did not raise you to make such colossal mistakes.”

  “Vivian, this is none of your concern. We don’t need your input or your nasty remarks. My wife is going to have my baby.” I look into Laney’s eyes; fear so strong resides in the pools of liquid chocolate.

  “Alright, let’s everyone come outside. Diane, you need to take a hike and leave my house, now. You are not wanted. You are not family, nor will you ever be. Father, I don’t want to hear any objections. This is not about you or her; it’s about two five-year-olds out there who want to open their gifts. If you have a problem with that, then you can follow that piece of trash out of my house and never look back.”

  I watch as Natalie gets everyone out of the house. The reality of the situation hits me full force, and I drop to my knees in front of my wife and my unborn child.

  Nathan is on his knees with his arms wrapped around my waist; face firmly pressed into my stomach. I feel him begin to shake, probably as the realization that he may be bound to me forever takes hold. I look down upon my husband, “I’m so sorry Nathan. I’m sorry this is happening. I’m sorry if this isn’t something you wanted. I’m so stupid to allow this to happen.” I choke back my emotions along with the fear of rejection. I felt so strongly that we had something special. I felt that his love for me was so strong that time didn’t matter, but I may have been wrong. Just like the times before, I may have read him completely wrong. “I can fix this. It’s still early; I can make this go away. Just please Nathan, please tell me what you want from me?”

  He looks up at me; his normally honey eyes are now a deep amber. His face is damp and tear-stained. I run my finger through his hair. “Please, Nathan.” The fear that I’ve made a mistake is substantial.

  “Are you really pregnant?” My words failed me; I only have enough strength to nod my head. “How far along?”

  I drop down to my knees facing Nathan, “Stella has determined I’m only a few weeks. Very early stages. Possibly the first time we slept together, but I’m not certain. I’m sorry it came out that way. I’ve wanted to tell you, but I just didn’t know how.”

  “What do you mean you didn�
��t know how?”

  “I wasn’t sure how you would react. Everything with us has happened so fast, and you have been so wonderful and accepting of everything when it comes to me and my life. I’m not sure how much you can take and what will push you over the edge.”

  “You thought a baby would push me over the edge?”

  “Yes.” I close my eyes as the tears roll down my cheeks.

  “Do you believe me when I tell you that I love you, Laney?” I open my eyes to look at him. “Can you say with one hundred percent certainty that I am completely in love with you? Without hesitation, without questions or second guessing?”

  I look deep into Nathan’s eyes as he stares back at me. His eyes flick from side to side taking in my face. “Yes, I do.”

  “You do?” I nod, “Then you know without a doubt that I am in this with you. I am committed to you, and the girls and here for you no matter what may come our way.”

  “This wasn’t planned Nathan. This is so fast, it’s so, so fast, too fast. Don’t you think?”

  “No.” His response was straightforward, without hesitation.

  “No? Do you have any idea what the press is going to say about this? Look at my mother and her reactions. She’s just one person. Look how Diane didn’t even believe me.”

  “Fuck em, Laney Bear, fuck them all to hell. Do they matter? Do any of them matter?”

  “No.”

  “No, you’re right. They don’t. You and I are a team and the girls make us a family. This baby and any other baby we may have in the future is our family. We are the only ones that matter.”

  “So you’re okay with it? You’re okay with the baby and the crying, the dirty diapers and the sleepless nights?”

  “Sleepless nights? Wait a minute. That may be a deal breaker. I need my beauty sleep you know. I’m not getting any younger.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yes, I’m serious. How about I take the day shift, and you can take the night shift.”

  “No.”

  “Okay, I guess I’m okay with the sleepless nights then.” He gives me a big smile.

  “So we’re gonna have a baby.”

  Nathan wraps his arms around my waist, lowering me down to the ground. His smile is still evident as he moves down my body stopping at my stomach. “We are having a baby.” He says as he stares at my stomach. His lips press firmly into my abdomen. “I’m gonna be a daddy, I mean, I’m already a dad, but I’m going to be a daddy.” He looks up from my stomach, “Thank you, baby, thank you.”

  The fear I felt so strongly has melted away. I feel like I’m able to breathe again. I don’t know why I ever doubted him, ever doubted his love. I have not once questioned it; he has never given me reason to, and this should be no different. This man loves me, all of me. He loves my girls. Why would I ever doubt his love for a child that he and I created together? “Sorry to interrupt you two, I look up to find Stella standing in the doorway, “but the girls are getting restless about their presents. Are you two done sucking face and celebrating the new baby because if you aren’t, tough shit, my girls want to open their presents. Get your asses out here, pronto.” She turns and walks back outside.

  “I guess we need to finish the party,” I say.

  “Yeah, we do. Um, I have to get my presents for the girls. That’s what I was on my way to do before I got sidetracked.”

  “What did you get them?”

  “You’ll find out sweet girl, just as soon as they do.”

  “You didn’t get them instruments did you? I can’t handle instruments, Nathan. They will be permanently at Auntie Nat’s if that’s what you got. I am not dealing with two five-year-olds banging away on metal.”

  “No instruments. No drums, no saxophones, no guitars. It doesn’t even make a sound.”

  “Alright, I can do no sound.”

  I’m sitting on a chaise lounge with Laney on my lap. My hands are resting on her stomach. I know it’s early, and I know I won’t be able to feel the baby move, but I am already in protective mode. The girls have just about gone through the mound of presents. I made sure when I invited everyone they knew they didn’t have to buy for both. The girls are great at sharing everything, so one present for them to share was good enough. If they did want to buy for both, I made sure it was something small. This party wasn’t about the girls getting loads of gifts; it was about them spending time with their friends and playing.

  Natalie places the boxes from me in front of the girls. She tells them the gift is from me, and they both look at me with huge smiles on their faces. They rip open the wrapping and then open the box. They each pull out a pair of riding pants, boots and a helmet, all pink of course. They look at me questionably. “That’s riding gear, girls,” Natalie explains, “For horses.” They both turn their heads and look at me, eyes wide with excitement.

  “I thought you girls would like to learn to ride, here at the estate on the weekends. Would you like that?”

  “Yes!” They scream.

  “If you really like it then maybe we can get you both a horse of your own to help raise.”

  Amanda comes running and jumps on Laney’s lap. I immediately block her stomach making sure my hand take the impact and not Laney. “Careful Bear, you need to be care with Momma, okay?”

  “Why?”

  “Just because, baby. Just because.” Laney answers.

  “Thank yous Nafin, thank yous for the things.”

  “You’re welcome, Mandy.”

  She gives me a hug and a soft kiss on the cheek. “That’s from Bug toos.”

  “Okay.”

  “I loves you Nafin,” she whispers in my ear. “That's from mes. I don’t knows if Bug does, but I knows I do.” She gets off Laney just as fast as she jumped on and continued with opening her presents.

  We watch as the remaining kids continue to play. Some of them have left right after the cake was served, and their gifts bags were handed out. “It’s quite a production son.” My father walks up to me and Laney.

  “I wanted the girls to have a good birthday.”

  “It amazes me how easy you can spend the Whitmore money, but yet you refuse to actually work for it.”

  “It was their fifth birthday. It’s going to be something they will always remember. I remember each and every one of my parties. Don’t you father? Oh yeah, that’s right. You weren’t there to celebrate with me.”

  “It seems that you and I have lived two completely different lives because I remember your birthdays very clearly.”

  “You remember the cleanup, you were never there for my actual parties.”

  “What are you doing here Joseph? Can you not give Nathan at least one day of rest? This is my daughters’ day.”

  “And from what we all walked in on, your day as well. Such a production in the announcement that you’re expecting. I give you credit; you do work fast. Like mother like daughter.”

  I go to lift Laney off of my lap because I am seconds away from throwing my father into the pool and hoping his drowns. “Don’t.” She tells me. “He isn’t worth it, Nathan. His words don’t bother me. He is just a pathetic man who is miserable and just wants those around him to be just as miserable.”

  “Such words of wisdom Laney. Did your high price education get that for you?”

  “No, Joseph, it wasn’t my high price education that allows me to have a mind of my own. It was the teachings of my father. He taught me to be the person I am today and to not let the wicked tongue of those who are pathetic, affect me.”

  “I hear your girls are going to attend the academy.”

  “Yes, they are. They start Monday.”

  “Good, that’s good.” He walks away without another look in our direction. The bastard feels he has the right to intrude on my family’s day and doesn’t even bring the girls a present, typical.

  “Yes, Rebecca, I’m positive. I know, believe me, it was a hard decision for me, but this is the best. I have an opportunity that I can’t pass up. I know. Th
is doesn’t mean that I’ll be gone from the hospital forever, just for the near future. Alright, I will. You take care as well. Bye.”

  Well, I have officially resigned from the hospital. It’s been almost two months since I had stepped foot in the hospital to actually work. I’ve been there a few times visiting my patients and fellow co-workers. “Are you okay with it? With stepping back so you can work on Nathan’s House?” Nathan has been quiet when it comes to the project. He has allowed me to make this decision on my own without his input or influence. The fact of the matter is I’m pregnant, and the thought of me running around the hospital during my pregnancy is not something I’m looking forward to.

  “Yes, I am. I think this is something that I want to do. I want to make this happen, and I want the girls to witness it. I want this to be a part of their lives so it will teach them to give to those who aren’t as fortunate as they are.”

  “As long as you’re sure. I know nursing was something you worked hard for. This was what you wanted, your dream career.”

  “That’s true, but it was a dream before I had you as my reality. Things change, right? Are you a firm believer of that?”

  “Yes, Bear, I am. A very firm believer of it.”

  “Well, now that I’m free from the hospital, I guess we can get the developers going on the land and everything that needs to happen to it.”

  “I’ll make the calls on Monday then. What’s your plan for the day?”

  “Well, the weather’s still nice. I wanted to take the girls to the park for a while. Do you want to join us?”

  “I will after I make some calls. We have a high profile client coming into the city tonight, and I need to make sure everything is set for when they arrive.”

  “Alright, take your time.”

  I watch the girls play with the other kids at the park. Addie is doing so well with her walking cast and hopefully in the next few weeks she’ll be able to take if off. She hasn’t had any problems with the other kids at school giving her a hard time because she isn’t able to do a lot right now. Amanda is doing really well, and her speech is improving. Not only does she have a therapist at school, but Nathan has hired someone to come to the house once a week to make sure the school is doing everything they can.