Healing Touch: Play Doctor, Book 2
Page 4
Seldom in her life had someone praised her. The compliments went to her head, making her bold and confident. Enough to spit out the rest of her story. The important parts anyway.
“When I was seventeen, he pissed someone off. Bad. I was locked in my closet for the night. I heard arguing start. This time was way worse than others. There were guns in our apartment a lot of the time. They didn’t really frighten me. I never realized how loud it would be…”
“Your dad killed someone while you were in the closet?” Luke’s blend of empathy and quiet anger—not at her, but for her—helped her divulge the truth.
“No.” She swallowed hard. “Someone murdered him. Blood and…other gross gray stuff floating in it…ran under the door to my closet. I stayed quiet so they wouldn’t do the same to me. But I was stuck. In there. With the smell. And the bugs. No food, or water, or bathroom. Or light. For days. I think it was the stench that eventually drew enough complaints, even in that hellhole, to bring the landlord’s son to investigate. Brad. He found me. Let me out of my closet. I’m not sure which of us was more surprised. Or scared.”
“This was your boyfriend?” Luke tilted his head.
“Yes.” She winced. “For seven years. He took me in. I owed him everything. I tried not to bother him with my drama.”
“Is that what he called your phobia?” Luke practically growled.
Brielle scooted an inch or so away. Seeing, for the first time, some danger in the dazzling man she’d come to trust in an instant. Just like Brad. Damn her. When would she learn?
“I’m sorry.” He calmed immediately. “I’m not angry with you. But I’m standing behind what I said before. That guy did not deserve you. Not at all.”
“He kept me.”
“Like you were some stray animal? A dog? His pet?” A glint of something icy froze his blue eyes.
“It didn’t seem that way to me at first.” She hung her head.
“Nothing in your life was normal. You couldn’t understand how twisted his treatment was, Brielle.” Luke lifted her chin. “Don’t confuse opportunistic with altruistic, please. He used you.”
“Until the sex and my cooking and cleaning weren’t enough to offset the drama anymore.” She gritted her teeth. No way could she spill the rest. Not yet. Not even to Luke, no matter how he called to her on a basic level.
“Is that what he told you?” A flush crept up Luke’s cheeks. Did he get this upset by his other clients’ revelations?
“Yes.” She sighed before skirting the truth. “And he didn’t even wait for me to finish moving out before bringing some new woman into the place I thought was our home. I left everything. Walked away. At first I took odd jobs to pay for food. And I found a shelter. They helped me get on my feet. But I wasn’t ready to talk. So I started over.”
“That sounds like a smart thing to do,” Luke reassured her. “Everything you’ve built now is fresh. Completely yours. A great foundation for your future. I’m sure it’s been harder than I can imagine—”
She choked back a sob.
“But you’re doing it. You’re still surviving. You have work, a place of your own and…you’re here.”
“Begging for help,” she whispered. “I want to be normal.”
“Remember, that means messed up in some way.” Luke sighed. He scrubbed his hands through his hair. “I think that’s a good place to stop for today.”
Disappointment rushed through Brielle.
“At least with this formal session.” He stood, rubbing his flat abdomen. “Would you like to join me for that lunch now?”
Suddenly she craved nothing more than that. Her stomach growled. “Yes.”
Luke Malone held out his hand.
And she grasped it like the lifeline it was.
Chapter Four
Luke knew down to his marrow that if Brielle got even a glimpse of the pure destruction in his thoughts, he’d lose her. She’d run and never look back. He wouldn’t blame her either after all she’d told him. Schooling his features, he offered her his hand and silently pleaded for her to accept his support.
When her long, slender fingers landed on top of his palm, he did a mental jig. He closed his hand around hers for a brief squeeze. Not enough to trap her. “Come on, I know a great place around the corner. It’s one of my favorites. Do you like sandwiches?”
“Um, yes.” A long pause put him on alert.
“What is it?” He slowed down, trying not to rush her into anything. “You can change your mind at any time.”
“Is it expensive?”
Luke knew better than to offer to pay. She had to have her independence. God knew, she’d earned some. He considered the menu, a little ashamed that he didn’t even weigh things like that in his choices these days. “You tell me. You can get a half sandwich and a bowl of soup or a salad for under five dollars. The portions are big enough that my best friend’s wife usually takes some home with her for a second meal too.”
“I can swing that.” Brielle beamed.
“Great.” They meandered toward the front door of his office. “If you have to use the restroom, the one on this floor has five stalls, a big sitting room attached and a sky light. The sandwich shop’s is far less spacious.”
“Thank you.” The full blast of a smile from Brielle nearly knocked him over. She was naturally beautiful. Not because of caked-on makeup or manmade touch-ups. Some of the women he’d attributed the title to in the past had relied on gimmicks to perfect their presentation. None of that was necessary for Brielle.
In the weeks after their run-in at VegVana, he’d wondered if he’d imagined her stunning loveliness. He hadn’t. Her chestnut hair fell in waves to her waist. The fullness of her lips had had him longing to kiss their plump softness from the moment she’d burst from the stairwell. Out of nowhere, his absent sex drive had roared to life. At the most inopportune time possible.
It’d been a month or so since he’d slunk out of Kurt and Becca’s bedroom. The longest period of abstinence he’d imposed since he was sixteen. No wonder he was having trouble controlling himself when faced with a gorgeous woman. One he desperately hoped he could assist. Even if it meant stifling his own reactions to her.
As he waited for her in the hallway, he recited all the reasons why instant attraction didn’t matter in this case. Chemistry couldn’t justify violating the patient-doctor relationship, no matter how badly he wished it could. She seemed to trust him and she honestly needed help. He wouldn’t risk damaging her chances for recovery.
Luke had treated plenty of vulnerable, gorgeous women in his career. None of them had affected him like Brielle did. The connection burning between them didn’t come along every day. Maybe he could use it to facilitate her healing.
When she emerged, she hovered by the door to the stairs.
“Brielle, do you know how phobias can be treated?” He didn’t join her just yet.
“Isn’t that your job?”
He barked out a laugh. “Yeah, I suppose it is.”
“No, really, I don’t.” She flushed.
“Why would you? You’re not a psychologist.” He hoped she didn’t balk now. “One way to treat phobias is through systematic desensitization, which means encouraging a patient to live through their fears. They have to realize the terror is irrational and overcome it a little at a time in a very controlled environment. The trigger stops being frightening when you face your phobia and grind it into dust.”
“You mean I have to get locked up.” She paled. Her eyes grew wide and her breathing turned erratic. One hand steadied her against the wall, but she wobbled anyway.
Holy shit. She was going to pass out.
Luke lunged for her, wrapping her in his arms and guiding her to the floor. Dazed, she blinked up at him, questions dancing in her rich brown eyes. “Put your head between your knees. Breathe slow and deep. With me.”
They dragged in a lungful of air together. Then released it. Again and again.
“Better now?” Luke d
rew circles on her back, surprised by how much of her he could span with one hand. She hadn’t seemed so little when she’d held under the pressure of relating her childhood to him. Part of that could be attributed to her boxy, ill-fitting clothes.
“Yes. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have sprung the treatment plan on you like that.” He tucked a wisp of her hair behind her ear so he could monitor her expression. “We’ll go slow. Really slow. Only taking another step when you’re ready.”
“How is that going to work in five—no, four—more sessions?” She dropped her forehead onto her knee and wound her arms around her shins.
“It’s not.”
She wilted beneath his gaze.
“We’re going to have to work longer than that on something so ingrained in your psyche.” He wanted to rub away her frown with the pad of his thumb, but he held himself in check. Barely. “I hope you weren’t expecting a silver bullet. This is going to be hard. But we’ll get there together and the effort will be worth it in the end.”
“I can’t afford therapy.” She shrugged. “You’ll have to teach me as much as possible, then leave the rest to me.”
He didn’t doubt she would bust her ass to vanquish her demons. But some things couldn’t be done solo. She needed assistance. Support. Or she risked lapsing into a state worse than her current coping permitted.
“Forget about the insurance thing. I’m committed to helping you.” He patted her bare knee, positive she had no idea how much of those magnificent legs she flashed at him with her skirt sliding up her thighs. “Whatever it takes. We’ll get through this together.”
“I can’t let you do that,” she answered without lifting her head.
“Why not?” He blinked.
“Because you shouldn’t have to work for nothing,” she objected.
“Our practice provides sliding-scale therapy for those in need. We’re committed to preventing costs inhibiting people from getting the help they need.” That was the truth, though he didn’t intend to seek payment for her case. Helping her would be gratifying enough. Something about her meager subsistence had him feeling guilty for his success anyway. It was a small thing. But he could do this. Wanted to do it.
“Really?”
He nodded.
“Okay, then.” She perked up. “I would be grateful for your help.”
“So you tell me. Are you ready to ride the elevator?” He rose, but she didn’t follow his lead.
“I—” She hesitated.
“Okay, that’s answer enough. If you can’t say yes right off, then you’re not prepared. That’s all right. Remember, you’re in control. You decide what’s comfortable, or within your limits to try.”
“It’s just that we’re so high up. The thought of having to stop and wait a bunch of times on the way down, the door closing me in after each person we pick up…” She began to hyperventilate again.
“Shh. Deep breaths, remember?” He smiled when she caught herself before blacking out. “I understand your concerns. They’re valid. I don’t mind walking. If we get to a point where you think you’d like to try the elevator instead, all you have to do is say so. I’ll be with you the whole way, no matter what you decide. Okay?”
“Sure.” She unfolded the human pretzel she’d morphed into, accepting his assistance to climb to her feet.
“So, what do you do for a living?” When she didn’t respond after they’d gone down two flights, he figured she didn’t intend to answer.
“I’m sorry. I’m a little confused.” She turned at the end of the landing and started down another set of stairs.
“About what?”
“Is this typical?” She tipped her head up to look at him. In the dim stairwell, her eyes looked huge and innocent. So much of her life had been unusual, she had no point of reference for normalcy.
“What?” He had to make sure he understood her question.
“Going to lunch with a client?” Brielle called him out. “The things we’re talking about now… Are they for the case or because you want to know?”
“Ah, that.” He shook his head. “Nothing about today has been standard for me. No, I very rarely, if ever, interact with my patients outside of my clinic. It’s important for my clients to know that we are not friends.”
“Oh.” She bit her lip, quiet for a few more flights before nodding. “I understand. It makes sense.”
“To be honest, Brielle, I like you. I admire your strength. Maybe someday, when you no longer need my services, we could reevaluate that boundary.”
“I think I would enjoy that.” She skipped down the next step and three more, picking up speed until he had trouble keeping up with her spritely bouncing. Ahead of him, she ducked through the door to the second floor.
“Brielle, we still have another flight,” he called after her.
“I know. I’d like to take the elevator.” She smiled over her shoulder before pausing. “Unless that’s dumb. It’s only one floor.”
“No, that’s not in any way silly.” He smiled wide at her as they rounded the corner toward the elevator. “It’s fantastic. I’m proud of you.”
“I haven’t actually done it yet.” Her finger shook when she poked the button.
Luke cupped her shoulders in his hands and turned her to face him. “Listen to what I’m saying. You’re safe. There is nothing that can hurt you in there. The doors will open as soon as we’re down one floor. I’ll be with you. Keep breathing. Focus on your heartbeat and making it steady. Then I want you to say this to yourself: I’m okay. This is temporary. I’m not trapped in here. I’m okay…”
She joined him in practicing the mantra. They’d repeated it about twenty times before the bell signaled the car’s arrival.
Brielle stiffened instantly beneath his palms. “You don’t have to do this. Only what you’re comfortable with. There’s always next time.”
The doors began to slide closed with them still on the outside.
“No!” She jabbed the arrow again. When the opening was at its widest, she latched on to his arm, dragged him inside with her and closed her eyes. A deep breath expanded her slender ribs, enhancing the swell of her breasts. As she exhaled, she began to chant aloud. “I’m fine. This is just temporary. We are not locked in here. I am safe. You are with me.”
Luke didn’t mind her revisions. Whatever kept her calm and began to coach her consciousness into accepting the truth was fine with him.
Brielle did such a great job, she didn’t seem to notice when the car slowed and the doors slid apart, welcoming them to the lobby.
“We’re here.” He tapped her on the shoulder.
“What? Already?” She looked up at him and grinned, then did the cutest little conga he’d ever seen in his life out of the elevator.
And in that instant he knew they had some major problems. Because despite every oath he’d ever sworn, he wanted one of his patients.
Brielle launched herself at him, giving him no time to do more than react. He caught her in his arms and used their momentum to swing her around, instead of crashing to the floor in an undignified pile of limbs. “I did it!”
“Yes, you did.” He hugged her tight before setting her onto her tiptoes. Did she have to smell so delicious? “Congratulations.”
“Same to you.” They grinned as they passed a bewildered Mrs. Allerton. “You’re amazing, Luke.”
The way his name flew off her tongue, familiar and reverent, stirred something deep inside him. So did the confidence in her bearing when she marched to the revolving door, tucked into one of the cubbies and shoved right through her fears.
Brielle floated alongside Luke as he led her to one of his favorite cafes. She couldn’t believe how much hope he’d bestowed in such a short amount of time. Sure, she was messed up. Majorly. It would take time and an enormous amount of energy to make real progress. Still, she actually believed it could work.
If only she’d tried this years ago.
His light, gentle style mixed with some smart-assery met all her needs perfectly. Without him, she had no doubt today could have been a disaster. So she decided to give him what he’d asked for. “I’m a student services coordinator for the Science Department of the university.”
“In the Franklin Building?” He whipped his head toward her. “On State Street?”
“Yep, that’s the one.”
“I know it well.” His lips pinched tight as though he wanted to add something, but stopped himself.
“What is it?” Brielle touched his arm lightly, startling them both.
“Uh. My two best friends have a practice on the second floor. I’m there all the time. How haven’t I met you before?” He shook his head.
“I haven’t worked there very long, less than two months.” She winced when she recalled the temporary jobs she’d struggled with before that.
“Ah, yeah. I’ve been sort of avoiding Kurt and Becca most of that time.” A frown marred his features.
“Becca…” She tapped a finger on her lips. “Does she have red hair? Green eyes? Always smiling? Goes everywhere with the tall, dark-haired doctor? The really serious one?”
“Yes, that’s her.” Luke laughed. “She hasn’t quit with that grin since she and Kurt finally hooked up last year. Kurt’s been my friend since middle school.”
“You’re so different.” Afraid of offending, Brielle didn’t mention that the man had frightened her at first, until she saw how much he adored his wife and the respect he treated her with.
“No kidding.” Luke shrugged. “Well, I guess in some things. We have a lot in common. How we get there tends to be by opposite directions. It makes for a great match-up. Same as Becca and Kurt. Becca is terrific. She draws Kurt out of his brainiac ways and makes him smell the roses, you know?”