by Alisa Adams
“I… I’m sorry tae disturb ye,” Rory stammered, “but Angus t-told m-me I hae tae f-find ye.”
“What is this about, boy?” Seamus growled. There was nothing worse than the frustration he was feeling now. He looked back at Sarina and saw her scowling as well. The two of them had been on the cusp of something sacred and intense and the moment had been ripped away. Seamus wondered how long he was going to have to wait for another opportunity like that. He hoped it would not be too long, otherwise, Angus or this boy would feel the brunt of his wrath.
Rory had been so stunned by the scene he had stumbled upon that he could barely talk. He raised a trembling arm and pointed at Sarina. “S-she hae a v-visitor Seamus, her b-brother.”
“Her brother? Why did Harold return?” Seamus wondered aloud.
“N-nae Harold. Her other b-brother, T-Thomas B-Bashir,” Rory said.
Seamus’ face darkened. There was no good reason for Thomas to come and visit them other than to stir up trouble. Thomas was a devious man and Seamus didn’t trust him at all. During their peace talks, Seamus had been sure that Thomas was up to something and had been pleasantly surprised when it had turned out that he had been genuine and sincere all along. Seamus did not have a favorable opinion of any of the Bashir’s though. He wasn’t going to say it in front of Sarina, but he thought her father had been a swaggering braggart who was unconcerned about anything other than his own glory and as for the others, well, as far as Seamus was concerned it spoke volumes that none of them had been present on her wedding day.
Seamus hung his head and looked back at Sarina. “Did ye hear that lass? Ye brother Thomas hae come tae pay ye a visit. Perhaps he hae a wedding present for ye,” Seamus said. To his surprise, Sarina didn’t look happy to see Thomas. In fact, she looked quite frightened. If Thomas threatened her in any way or tried to renege on the deal Seamus was going to send him back to England with a raw slap on his rump. He’d only started to get used to the idea of loving Sarina and he wasn’t about to lose her now, especially not when they had come so close to paradise.
“Ride on, Rory, we shall follow after we are dressed,” Seamus said. Rory turned his horse around and rode back in the direction of home. Seamus sighed as he walked toward Sarina and helped her to her feet.
17
Sarina quickly got dressed. She was flushed and anxious. Her emotions were in complete turmoil and she had no idea how to process any of them. Discovering that Seamus hadn’t been the man who killed her father had been a revelation, but it had brought with it all manner of dark thoughts as well for it had become clear that Thomas had lied to her. He had been the one to tell her that Seamus had killed her father and then had sent her on this assassin’s mission. Now, he was here. The thought filled her with fear. Sarina had only just gotten used to the idea of living her own life separate from her old family, but it seemed her past would not be as easy to escape as she thought.
Thomas was never going to forgive her for beginning to fall in love with Seamus and she would never forgive him for interrupting her and Seamus. She had been ready to give herself to him. The whirls of delight were still pulsing inside her and had yet to disappear, but she knew the moment was lost for now and she could not wait to recapture it again. Seamus made her feel alive in a way she had not even known was possible. Her body and mind had been opened to new ways of pleasure and there was a vibrant energy inside her that had never existed before. All she knew was that she wanted more, to delve further into this sensual world, knowing that she was completely safe with Seamus as her guide. She was ready to give him her virtue and as soon as the time was right, she would lose herself in his arms again and feel the sharp rise of heat and she would surrender herself wholly and willingly to him.
But for now, it seemed they had to return to the castle. Rory, the messenger boy, rode off. Both she and Seamus wore similar scowls. She got dressed and gripped a handful of hair, wringing it to get much of the water out.
“I am sorry for this, lass. There is naething I want more than tae be here with ye alone,” he said, reaching out to caress her cheek. Sarina caught his hand and kissed it.
“I know, Seamus, but I am the one who must apologize. He is my brother after all. We shall resume this again soon,” she said, her heart fluttering at the mere thought of it. “How did that boy even find us?”
“Nae doubt Angus told him of some of my favorite locations, but Rory is a good tracker. Once he found the tracks, we made riding here it would nae hae taken him long tae find us,” Seamus explained.
The two of them got onto their horses and rode away from the lake. Sarina looked back at the idyllic surroundings with a pensive feeling. She hoped that they hadn’t missed their chance. Being out here and alone, it was easy to forget that they were from two different worlds and she hoped they would be able to rekindle the feelings they had experienced together here in this lake. If not, then she would simply have to insist they return here regularly. Her body yearned for his touch now and the thought of his naked masculinity pressing against her lingered in her mind. It made it difficult for her to settle.
The ride back to the Mackenzie stronghold was not as fast or as joyous as the ride to the lake. They went at a steady pace rather than racing, perhaps because neither of them wanted to actually return home promptly. The thought of dealing with Thomas again was nowhere near as appealing as losing themselves to their desire. They passed the occasional comment, but both of them were deep in thought.
While Sarina didn’t know exactly why Thomas had returned, she was sure that part of it was to check that she had done as he asked. She had broken the promise she made him and she didn’t know how he was going to react. To Thomas, these Highlanders weren’t people at all. They were barely more than animals and she didn’t know how she was going to explain to him that she was falling in love with Seamus, the man she was supposed to kill.
The fact that Seamus hadn’t been directly responsible for the death of her father made it easier for her to open herself up to loving him. Now when she looked at him, she did not have to see her father’s death, only her own future. After hearing what Seamus said, she wasn’t surprised that Thomas would have lied about the circumstances surrounding their father’s death for appearance was all that mattered to the Bashir family. A good story was far more important than the truth and her father being killed by the leader of the enemy made for a better story than being killed by a random arrow.
She and Seamus had bared their souls to each other and that made their bond strong. But she didn’t wish to break her allegiance to England completely. She felt as though she was being stretched between two worlds and was afraid she would be torn apart because of it. She began to chew her lip and held the reins so tightly that her skin began to pinch and her knuckles turned white. By the time they reached the castle, she was almost nauseous with anxiety and she was trembling as she alighted from Glory. The two horses were led away to the stable and Seamus took his hand.
“Are ye nae pleased tae see ye brother?” Seamus asked, noticing her discomfort.
“I am just worried that something may have happened to Harold. I can think of no other reason why Thomas would be here. I have already lost my father and Matthew. I do not think I can bear to lose anyone else,” she said.
There were a few grumblings from people outside. None of them took kindly to the appearance of Thomas. Most of them had accepted Sarina because she was married and now a part of the Mackenzie clan, but Thomas was an Englishman and a skilled warrior. He had been the only one of the brothers to fight in battle alongside their father and thus, he had killed their kinsmen. Sarina tried to ignore the looks in their eyes and hoped that Thomas’ visit would be brief.
They walked through the stone halls of the castle and entered the chamber where Thomas was waiting. He wore a devilish smile. A sword hung from his side. Angus was standing near him, his arms folded across his broad chest, and Martha was sitting down. She looked pained and weary. Thomas seemed to have that eff
ect on people.
“Ah, Laird Mackenzie, it is a pleasure to see you again,” Thomas said. “And my dear sister, even though it has only been a short time since you departed us, I have missed you greatly,” he said and approached her, kissing her on the cheek. She averted her eyes from meeting his gaze because she could already sense his disappointment.
“I am surprised tae see ye here,” Seamus said.
“Are you really? I would have thought my appearance would be obvious given what happened to Matthew,” Thomas said.
“It was a shame, but unfortunately we cannae control the bandits,” Seamus said.
“Is Harold well?” Sarina asked.
“Oh, yes, he’s fine if a little shaken up by the whole experience. Still, it will stand him in good stead for the future I think,” Thomas said dismissively. He curled his hand into a fist and paced around the room, holding his hand against his chin. “I find it interesting, Laird Mackenzie, that you claim you cannot control these bandits. I would have thought that a man of your prowess with these mighty Highland warriors at your command would be able to control your territory. I can’t imagine that any mere bandits would pose a challenge to you.”
Seamus narrowed his eyes. Sarina wasn’t sure what Thomas was getting at here. “If ye know anything about bandits then ye know they make it a point tae be unpredictable. I cannae know the future,” Seamus retorted.
“Quite, but I also find it quite worrying that they attacked so close to your castle as well. I had assumed that my darling sister would be safe with you, but now, I have to wonder if that’s really the case. You can understand why I’d want to come here to make sure that she is in good health. I have already lost one sibling, I do not wish to lose another, especially because it may well damage the treaty between us,” he said, smiling so that he showed his teeth.
“Sarina is quite safe. And I dinne wish tae speak ill of the dead, but ye brother would hae been tae, hae he nae rushed intae battle.”
“Hmm, Matthew was often too enthusiastic for his own good,” Thomas agreed, “but the fact remains that he was in your territory when this happened and you failed to keep him safe. That is the crux of why I am here really, I wish to gain compensation for his death.”
Angus barked a laugh. Martha sighed and shook her head. Seamus frowned and Sarina looked at Thomas with confusion.
“Ye cannae expect me tae pay when it was his own fault that he died!” Seamus exclaimed.
“I can expect it and I do,” Thomas said calmly. “In fact, I find it highly suspicious that the attack happened in the first place. One could even assume that these bandits were in the employ of someone who wanted to strike against the English and against peace.”
Sarina stifled a gasp in her throat. For a moment, everything was quiet as the Highlanders were taken aback by Thomas’ words. Sarina couldn’t actually believe what she was hearing. She knew that Thomas could be manipulative, but he must have known it was foolish to accuse the Highlanders of being this dishonorable. Indeed, as soon as the words settled over the room, Seamus pushed himself forward and knotted his brow. His voice was the rumble of thunder and every sinew in his body was coiled with tension.
“How dare ye accuse us of working with the bandits!” he exclaimed. Thomas arched an eyebrow.
“My dear Laird, I did nothing of the thing.” His voice was mock-innocent. “But if you take it that way, then perhaps that speaks more to your intentions than it does anything else.”
“Ye are a scab, Thomas,” Seamus cursed. Sarina watched him as he bristled with tension. Seamus wasn’t a man to play games with words or to hide underlying meanings in everything he said. He was straight to the point, honest, and uncomplicated. This, Sarina admired. She suddenly realized how on edge she had been at home, always afraid of displeasing her eldest brother, and she knew now it was because Thomas played with all their feelings. He put pressure on them to be the kind of brother and sister that he thought they should be, but really, he just wanted them to do his bidding. He was a cruel man, a petty man, and he paled in comparison with Seamus.
Sarina was shaken by this revelation for it was a powerful one, but she wasn’t shaken enough to be silenced. In her mind’s eye, she knew exactly what was going to happen if she did not intervene. Seamus would grow angrier and lash out at Thomas which was exactly what Thomas wanted. He’d come here for a reason, and that was to see her husband dead. Sarina couldn’t allow that to happen.
She wouldn’t.
“Perhaps it would be wise if I had a word with my brother alone,” Sarina suggested. Seamus was almost too far gone with anger to see the wisdom of her idea. He twitched and only responded when she placed a hand on his arm. This seemed to soothe him and he nodded.
“I think that would be for the best,” he agreed.
Sarina moved toward her brother and escorted him away, glaring at him. Her feet skidded across the floor as she walked quickly, not wanting Thomas to say anything else that would aggrieve her husband.
18
As soon as Sarina and Thomas walked out, Seamus brought his fist crashing down onto the table making the plates and mugs dance. He glowered with anger, hating every moment he spent with that despicable man. It was merely a reminder of the anger of the past, of the wars fought between the Highlanders and the English. After speaking with Sarina, Seamus knew the true value of peace and tranquility, but Thomas’ presence threatened that.
“Calm yeself, brother. He wants tae get under ye skin,” Angus said.
“And he is succeeding,” Seamus growled. Angus clapped a hand on Seamus’ shoulder.
“He will be gone soon enough.”
“How dare he accuse us of working with the bandits? Does he know naething of what we stand for?”
“The English dinnae care about us, ye should know that by now. Perhaps, ye hae forgotten thanks tae Sarina,” Angus said, a teasing gleam in his eye. Seamus pressed his lips together and shook with suppressed laughter. He thought back to the brief time they had spent in the lake and was flooded with happiness. He hadn’t felt that close to anyone since Ciara and there had been a time when he hadn’t believed he would feel that close to anyone ever again.
“She dae well at changing a man’s heart,” Seamus admitted.
Angus grinned. “I’m glad tae see the marriage is working out.”
“Aye, more than ye could know. She is a special lass that one. I’m a lucky man. Tae find love once in a lifetime is a miracle, but twice?”
“I’m jealous of ye brother.”
“I know one day ye will find it tae. Ye are a noble warrior, the best of us. Ye will find a lass of ye own,” Seamus said.
Angus accepted his compliment with good grace.
“There is something I must do,” Seamus said suddenly and left Angus’ presence. He strode up to the top of the castle where the air whistled around. His cloak fluttered in the breeze and his skin prickled with goosebumps as the chilly air swept over his exposed flesh. He walked to the side of the castle that faced to the wild north, the home of all the stories Ciara used to tell him. Seamus placed his hands on the cold stone and breathed in deeply, closing his eyes.
“I wanted tae come here tae tell ye about Sarina. I know I vowed tae never love another, but I am just a man and I hae tae dae this, nae just for me, but for the clan as well. This marriage means peace in the land and also peace in my soul. Ever since ye were taken from me, I hae been sae angry I hae nae known what tae dae with myself. In truth, I was as dead as ye were, at least, I was nae living. I was just a shadow. When I received this arrangement, I only accepted because I dinnae want tae fight any more. I just wanted tae stay in the castle with my sorrow and my loneliness, waiting for the day when I could rejoin ye. I pitied the girl they were sending because I knew she would nae find a husband who could love her, but things did nae happen as I expected. Sarina has awoken something inside me, something I thought had died with ye.” He inhaled deeply, composing himself for tears stung his eyes.
“I
hope ye dinnae think I am betraying ye memory by taking another as my wife. I hope ye want me tae be happy because I am. I still wish I could be happy with ye, but that is impossible, and I cannae let the dead rule my life. I cannae let the memory of ye prevent me from being happy. I hope ye can understand. I hope that when we see each other again ye dinnae hold it against me. I will always love ye, Ciara, but I cannae stop myself from loving another.”
He clasped his hands together and bowed his head, leaning against the stone walls in prayer. The wind rose and howled and for a moment, he thought he heard his name whispered by the wind. He was certain that it was Ciara speaking to him and he was certain that she was giving him her blessing. When he looked up again, tears streamed down his cheeks and a smile adorned his face.
“Thank ye, my love, thank ye,” he said.
He stayed at the top of the castle, trying to decide what his next move was going to be. The arrival of Thomas had certainly thrown things into chaos. He had hoped to be rid of the English scoundrels by now, but it seemed they were intent on making his life miserable. He wanted to keep a hold of himself for Sarina. She had already seen one brother die, she didn’t need to see another, and he had only recently learned that part of her reticence in showing affection to him was because she believed he had killed her father. If he killed Thomas, he was afraid that she would withdraw from him again and after all the turmoil he’d been through, he did not want to lose another love.
He vowed in that moment to remain in control of himself no matter what, to not give into anger no matter how much Thomas goaded him. He was Sarina’s brother and he had to believe that she was capable of preventing him from causing more discord. But one thing was for certain: His pride would not allow him to pay what Thomas thought he owed. Somehow, Sarina was going to have to convince Thomas to leave empty-handed. She was an impressive woman though and Seamus had every faith in her.