Project Valentine (A Homespun Romance)

by Kakade, Geeta

  "Thanks for coming over so quickly."

  "It's nothing," she said quickly. "I meant what I said that day in the mall about helping you with him. I'm just sorry Arthur's disrupting your life so much."

  "No one can help being sick."

  There was nothing to say in the light of such reasoning. Jessica stared out at the darkness quietly.

  Why was Karl denying his feelings? The more evidence he gave her that he was, the more Jessica wanted to solve the puzzle Karl's behavior presented.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Urging a sleepy Arthur out of the car and onto his piece of carpeting in the garage took no time at all. Jessica noted the new dog door cut into the side of the garage to give Arthur access to it.

  "I guess that's all we can do for him now. He'll be fine. I'd better be going." Keeping her voice light, Jessica checked his water dish before giving Arthur one last loving pat. She couldn't express the urge that came over her to stay a while longer.

  "Have you eaten?" Jessica looked up to see Karl holding the door into the house open for her.

  "Not yet." Suddenly her feet dragged. Her emotions were on a see-saw. One minute she wanted to stay, get to know Karl better. The next she wanted to put as much distance as she could between this man and herself. "I have something I can warm up at home." The movie had been a double feature and they hadn't stopped to eat after that as Gina had a forty five minute drive home.

  "Do you like Chinese food? I brought home some take-out today." When had Karl decided she was staying? For the umpteenth time Jessica told herself she disliked men who made up her mind for her.

  "I don't want to deprive you of your dinner," Jessica protested, wondering why she couldn't be firmer about leaving.

  "You won't. I brought plenty. Come on in."

  The door from the garage opened directly into the laundry room Jessica had seen on her last visit. In the family room, Karl invited her to sit down, switched on the evening news. Jessica balanced on the edge of a black leather couch as Karl washed his hands and began emptying the contents of the white take out cartons into dishes. He moved around the kitchen, heating food in the microwave, setting the table for two, with the ease of someone used to doing things for himself.

  Suddenly Jessica was very conscious of being alone with Karl. Of needs and impulses that surged blindly to the top. Nervously she pushed her glasses up.

  Watching the news while they ate filled in the gaps in their conversation. The chow mein and sweet and sour chicken that she would normally have enjoyed tasted like blotting paper. The eating island in the kitchen seemed like a small oasis shutting them off from the rest of the world. She could feel the warmth from Karl's body as she sat next to him. He'd jostled the two chairs closer on the side that faced the television. His presence shut off sanity. To Jessica's keyed up senses every second seemed to slow down.

  Afterwards, Jessica insisted on loading the used dishes in the dishwasher as Karl put things away in the refrigerator and wiped the table. It was time to call it a day. Tiredness always aided her overactive imagination and it certainly didn't need any help.

  Jessica was caught open mouthed when Karl turned to her, "Let's go into the other room for a while, shall we?"

  Becoming aware of her expression his mouth lifted in its familiar quirk, "You were about to say?"

  "I can't remember." Jessica blinked.

  What other room, she wondered wildly as she followed him. Reminded of the suddenness with which he'd kissed her, the level of weakness he always reduced her to, Jessica's nerves began to jangle.

  Karl led her through a hallway. Suddenly they were in a marble entryway the size of her apartment. Jessica vaguely remembered walking through it before. Anger hadn't let her observe details on that occasion. Now she took everything in.

  The sunken living room looked as if it belonged on the sets of Dynasty. An enormous white cathedral ceiling sloped upwards. Jessica's gaze was caught and held by the tiny glitters embedded in the texture of the ceiling.

  "Now why," she wondered, "would anyone put sparkles up there? I mean there's no way one could see them or appreciate them unless, unless...."

  The thought of the position one would have to be in to appreciate that particular aspect of Karl's home, it's accompanying suggestiveness, vacuumed the breath from her lungs. Jessica threw a blanket over her overactive imagination and looked around.

  The step down living room was an awe inspiring ocean of chrome and glass. Huge glossy plants broke up the severity. On one wall was an enormous painting Jessica thought she might understand better if she stood on her head to look at it.

  She hesitated, almost afraid to step down.

  "We could just use the family room," she began hesitantly.

  Karl looked up, from where he knelt in front of the fireplace. There was no doubting his surprise at her suggestion. "Why?"

  "I don't know. This room just looks so.. so.. elegant."

  Maddy Brenton would fit in here perfectly.

  He frowned, "Don't be silly Jessica."

  Moving the brass screen in front of the fireplace aside, he set a match to the single log there. The sharp, short jabs with which he pushed the buttons on an elaborate stereo system told Jessica he was annoyed. Gentle, classical music, at odds with the tension in the room, filtered through hidden speakers. Sitting down gingerly on the very edge of one of the pale peach couches, she studied the glass figure of a woman, head thrown back, arms raised to the skies. She'd seen something like it recently in a magazine. If her memory served her right it cost close to two months of her salary. Jessica tightened her spine. This was definitely not a room one relaxed in.

  Apparently Karl didn't think so. Sweeping the black and peach cushions off the other couch he arranged them on the floor.

  Jessica blinked. Her imagination hinted at romance in the air. She threw another blanket over it.

  "Would you like some wine?"

  "N.o.o, thank you." A sudden surge of adrenalin, made her hands damp, interfered with her breathing.

  Something in her tone made Karl turn from his contemplation of the fire. A frown crossed his brow, "Why on earth are you perched on the edge like that? Here, take your shoes off, sprawl if you want to. Make yourself comfortable while I get some wine."

  Jessica looked at the sheen of the silver carpet. No, she didn't think it would forgive sprawling. She did move back a couple of inches though. It was either that, or fall off the edge.

  Karl returned with two wine glasses and an unopened bottle, "I got you some juice."

  "Th... thank you," Jessica wet her lips. She had some explaining to do. The sooner she got it over with the better.

  Karl turned to her. The look in his narrowed eyes slashed its way to her soul. Jessica shrank and stared at the fire. What she had to say couldn't wait any longer.

  "I...It's all my fault that Arthur's sick." The confession made her feel worse, not better. She should have been more careful.

  Karl's eyebrows rose. "What makes you say that Jessica?"

  "I..I shouldn't have bathed Arthur. You heard what the vet said about not being in too much of a hurry to bathe him again. Earlier on the telephone he told me Arthur's coat should be brushed daily and cleaned once in a while with pads saturated in rubbing alcohol."

  The flickering flames reminded Karl of the way her mouth had felt under his. Gentle, exploring, inexperienced. Compunction pierced him as he listened to her apology and teamed with a protective gentleness.

  "It’s not your fault he's sick Jessica," he said calmly. "Bathing Arthur was Molly's idea. I should have looked it up in the dog book but I didn't think it would hurt to bathe him. So, if you have to blame someone, blame me."

  "I've always bathed my own dogs," she twisted a tissue in her hands, staring down at it. "I've never heard about cleaning a dog any other way till today."

  Karl sat down on the carpet, propping himself against the couch. "Tell me about your family, Jessica."

  She almost dropped her gla
ss. Head tilted she thought of his words. Imagination insisted he'd said something about returning Arthur to the shelter. But he hadn't. Her tension had obliterated the first part, she'd definitely caught the last words. Your family.

  Jessica tried to marshal her scrambling senses, summon pictures of her family. "Mom and Dad live in San Francisco. They have a home supply store in Oakland."

  "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

  "Six brothers, four sisters."

  He turned towards her, surprised. "A really large family."

  Jessica nodded. The ice was melting. Thoughts of her family always warmed her. "Yes. My mother's decision to have a large family wasn't based on religious reasons or anything like that. She taught nursery school before she married my Dad and just loves children. She always says her family is her only wealth."

  "Do you want a large family, Jessica?" It seemed important to know.

  "I'm not sure. It would depend on so many things. The man I marry, our financial circumstances, the size of family he wants. I think I'd like four children."

  "What was it like growing up in such a big family?"

  The love and friendship Jessica associated with her family showed in her voice when she spoke. "It was fun. I was never lonely or bored. I'm the youngest girl. When you're at the tail end, you also have very little chances of growing up spoiled. I didn't like having so many people telling me what to do. I remember my mother putting up a `duty list' each week which we kids had to follow. We were all very self reliant and responsible." Jessica's eyes glowed with her recollections. "With so many of us, the adventures we had as a family made television seem boring."

  "What made you decide to move to Southern California?"

  Seriousness threw a shadow on her face as she answered him, unaware that she'd slid off the couch and was sitting on a cushion next to him. "Large families also mean patterns being set by the older children that the younger ones automatically follow." Marriage, settling down with a good man, were the pattern four sisters had set. All had married men like her father. Very much the head of the family. Jessica wasn't ready to follow in their footsteps. She could never be happy in the role of `little woman.' To her marriage meant a partnership, not an autocracy. "Sometimes being part of a large family means being overprotected. I had to get away, find out who Jessica Woods really is, see if she could survive on her own, before it was too late."

  "And...?" Karl prompted.

  "And I've found I like living on my own, making my own decisions, taking care of myself." Jessica sipped the juice, wishing she'd asked for wine.

  "You've established your individuality haven't you?"

  "Yes." She didn't want to mention she intended to keep things this way for the rest of her life. She didn't want to be dominated ever again. If she couldn't find a man who thought the same way she preferred to remain single.

  Karl stared into the fire. He guessed it had been no small battle for her. Her size invited protectiveness, the automatic idea that she needed taking care of. But one only had to talk to her to know that was the last thing Jessica needed. She could take care of herself.

  Was he bored?

  Jessica wondered what Maddy Brenton would have talked about. Dental innovations, nuclear warfare, world peace?

  "Karl, tell me about your family."

  He looked at her and for a minute Jessica was thrown by the veil of bitterness in his eyes. A sore spot?

  "I grew up in Grosse Pointe, Detroit. There was just my sister, Andy, and myself. Parochial schools, Stanford, and then I decided to come and start a practice here."

  Jessica could almost see the curtain that had come down between them. It was cold too, as if Karl had drifted away from the warmth of the fire into the icy clutches of his past. His short, bald sentences told her more than any speech would have. There was an emptiness within him that didn't want analysis.

  Growing up in a large family had provided each of the Woods clan with experience and insight it took a psychologist years to gather. It was time to change the subject.

  Jessica leaned back against the cushions. "Why did you decide to become a dentist?"

  Karl's face changed, lightened. "Once when I was about nine I broke a tooth. My mother took me to the dentist. I was terrified because I'd always associated dentists with pain and fear though I'd never been to one. My mother went often though, and she was always tied up in knots the whole week she went. That fear communicated itself to both Andy and me. I was scared sick of going to one. My mother took me to Dr. Hayes who specialized in children's dentistry." Karl's face softened with the memories. "The man was wonderful. He talked to me and explained exactly what he was going to do. He told me except for the first prick of the needle, if he caused me any pain, he would let me kick his shin for every twinge I felt. I was so busy waiting for the pain, I don't feel any of the treatment. When it was over, he lifted the leg of his pants and said, 'Well young man, how many times?' I couldn't say a word, just shook my head. I hadn't felt a thing.

  'You keep this a secret between us,' Dr. Hayes said, shaking my hand, his eyes full of humor. 'If you go out and tell everyone how much fun this was I'm going to have so many patients I won't be able to go home to my wife and kids.'

  Twenty one years ago there weren't many dentists like him. I looked at Dr. Hayes and knew I wanted to be exactly like him. Have the tremendous power of replacing fear and pain with confidence and courage."

  It was Jessica's turn to be silent. Beneath that slightly cool exterior Karl showed the world, lay enough warmth to melt the North Pole. She blinked rapidly as she pushed her glasses up with one hand.

  Emotion so thick she could almost touch it swirled between them. Jessica wanted to reach out and put her arms around Karl, press her lips against his.

  Only the fear the gesture might constitute an attack in her personal book of proper behavior held Jessica back. It wasn't easy living with an overdeveloped conscience.

  "I have to go now." It was ten thirty. Chances were she wouldn't be able to fall asleep. Chances were she wouldn't be able to wake up on time tomorrow.

  Karl got to his feet in one swift movement, held a hand out to her. Jessica put her hand in his, was pulled up to within an inch of his chest.

  "Thanks for coming over."

  "Don't even mention it," she ordered gently. "Call me anytime you need help with Arthur."

  His eyes moved to her mouth. "Feeling better now?"

  "Feeling better?" Karl's question didn't make sense.

  "You were so tense when we came in here." His expression revealed he'd been privy to her thoughts. That he'd cared enough to restore her peace of mind made Jessica want to cry.

  She nodded.

  Karl searched her face, said, "There's one thing I have to clear up. Arthur's our responsibility now. Every time something happens I don't want you blaming yourself for it. I don't hold anything he does against you. Time passes so quickly on the weekends now. I don't have to worry about entertaining Molly. Arthur makes a splendid companion and she loves caring for him. So, no more punishing yourself all right?"

  Jessica swallowed hard. Did Karl know he was a genius at eradicating fear outside his dental clinic as well as in it? She nodded again. There weren't any right words for the way she felt.

  Karl placed a warm hand on the small of her back, steered her to the door. She was handed into the car, the door closed gently.

  "Drive carefully."

  She tried to say something casual, brilliant, unforgettable. What came out was a croak. "Goodnight."

  In the five minutes it took to reach her apartment, Jessica tried to put all the pieces of Karl Wagner together. One part of her puzzle was still missing. Why had Karl decided to put his personal feelings on hold indefinitely? Why was he denying himself the most important kind of love? He had that special knack of catering to everyone else's inner needs. Would he ever let anyone cater to his?

  He called her again Friday night.

  "How is Arthur?" Please don't let
him have gotten up to something else.

  "He's much better," Karl reassured her immediately. "He's eating again and I haven't had any trouble giving him his medicine. It's Molly I wanted to talk about, if you have the time."

  "Go ahead. I'm not doing anything important." Jessica unbuckled the belt of her dress and sank onto the couch, one leg curled up under her.

  "Andy's worried about her. She's been kind of withdrawn all week, doesn't want to talk much to either her Mom or her Dad. Just stays in her room, most of the time, says she wants to work on her stamp collection. But all she really does is lie on her bed and stare at the ceiling. Yesterday was Valentine's Day and Jim and Andy had planned a special catered dinner as a treat for Molly but she barely ate anything. As soon as dinner was over she excused herself and went to bed. That isn't like her. Nothing unusual's happened this week so Andy just can't figure out the reason behind the withdrawal. We were wondering if she'd said anything to you that would clue us in."

  "Nothing really," Jessica searched her memory bank for anything that might help Molly's parents and came up blank. This didn't seem the right time to thank him for the red and white carnations she'd received yesterday. The accompanying card had read, `With love from Molly, Arthur and K.W." It was unexpected....and very confusing. He didn't seem the type who went in for casual messages.

  "The worry's not good for Andy. The thought that something's wrong and Molly won't tell her because of her state of health is doing more damage than her condition itself."

  "It would," agreed Jessica. Suddenly it was of paramount importance to remove the cloak of worry from Karl's shoulders. "Maybe tomorrow I can spend some time with Molly and see if she talks to me about it."

  "We could go to the beach with Arthur," he suggested, the worry still showing in his tone. "Molly loves the ocean."

  "That sounds great. And Karl?"

  "Yes?"

  "Let Molly call me herself and invite me, okay? That way she won't feel she's being set up." Smart as Molly was she would pick up the slightest hint and know what was going on. It might make her withdraw from them as well.