The Ice King On My Hate

by Reese Madison

  “You talk to my bike? When?” He took my other hand and helped me to my feet.

  “I don’t know, when you go outside to move wood or chase rabbits. I find time, kind of like therapy. If it wasn’t for Blue Belle here you’d probably have a hole in your head the diameter of a .38 slug.” I teased.

  “Blue Belle? You named her?” He’s looking his bike over like the name was always there but he somehow missed it.

  I shrugged over another soothing sip. “Don’t all cars and motorcycles have names?”

  “Mine don’t, or didn’t. Do you ride Jasmine?”

  I nodded, “Passed my motorcycle test for the department and everything.”

  “NYPD?”

  I nodded again, “It’s a lot easier to get around the city on a motorcycle. Although it sucks when you have to leave it somewhere to go on a foot chase. I had a bike stolen once, pissed me off so bad I only road for about a year, then I applied for a K-9 partner and went back to driving cages. I was already working with the dogs as a hobby, so I figured if I can’t ride I might as well try to bring my hobby fully into my career.”

  “Did you get one?”

  “I did.”

  “What was your partner’s name?”

  “Lobo. I left him with a friend of mine who worked in the same department, they’re both fine. I check online every now and then.”

  He touched my cheek with the back of his fingers, “You said earlier you were shot.” The way he left that hanging told me he wants to know the details.

  I turned around and lifted my hair and tilted my head so he can maybe see the scar. “I was lucky. There’s a small metal plate holding my brains in, and I had a vicious headache for two years, but otherwise I’m fine.”

  He very gently touched the area. I can’t feel the exact spot where the plate is, the nerves from the skin graph never fully healed giving me sensation back, but I can feel when he touches around the area.

  He kissed the top of my head, “You could have…” He moved my collar back and forth. “The idea of coming so close to not ever meeting you… is unsettling.”

  I let my hair down and turned back to face him, “don’t take this wrong, but with everything that happened shortly after that, sometimes I wish it had been the millimeter to the left it would have taken to kill me.”

  “I can’t listen to you talk like that.” He pinched my chin between two fingers like he does and looked me right in the eye, “I am trying.”

  “I know. I’m sorry I yelled at you, and dumped food on your head. How mad are you on a scale of let’s see, one to ten?”

  “I’m not mad.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead then stepped back to look me over. “We could use another handler up here for search and rescues. I can’t get you a K-9, but do you think you could train a Husky-mutt?”

  “Probably, they’ll have to be tested, but I’d like to try. I’d like that a lot. If you keep this up I’m going to have to take a few layers off this Hate Cake I’ve been baking for you.” I sipped again.

  “Hate Cake?”

  I nodded, “Yeah, it’s been baking for eight months. If I ever get to take it out of the oven we’ll talk kids.” I sneered at him half playfully.

  “The Oven of Hate?” He asked playing along.

  “It’s a place in my head I store all the things you do that piss me off. I put my anger away in that oven so I can close the door and let it cook. I can’t react to you the way I want to because I’m too much at your mercy. And now that you know who I really am it’s even worse. You can send me to prison if you want to.” I sipped again emptying the glass.

  He took the glass and nodded towards the living room, “Come back out?”

  I shrugged, “I guess. Belle is probably sick of me by now anyway.”

  “If the weather holds up we’ll go for a ride tomorrow. If you don’t threaten to steal her I’ll let you ride up here for a while on your own.” He motioned for me to sit on the couch where I’ve set up camp.

  I sat and watched while he refilled our tumblers and sat facing me from his side of the couch. “You’d let me ride your bike?”

  He pulled his knee up and leaned over to hand me my glass. “Are you going to steal it?”

  “No! Of course not. I’m a killer, not a horse thief.”

  He coughed and I swear he was covering a laugh.

  “Good to know you have a sense of humor in there somewhere.”

  He shook his head and let out a frustrated breath before pointing at one of the many boxes littering the living room. “Open that one first. You know where my knife is, use it.”

  “Say please.”

  “No.” He insisted with a very rare twinkle of playfulness in his eyes.

  With all the progress he’s made in such a short amount of time I decided to cut him some slack and go get his knife from his utility belt. “Fine, but only because I’m curious.”

  “You should be curious, most of this shit is yours.”

  I turned around to look at him for the joke, “What?”

  He motioned for me to continue opening the box, “You wouldn’t sleep with me, I got bored and shopped online. You’ll see why, keep going.”

  “Damn right I wouldn’t sleep with you, for one thing I’m not on the pill.” I complained because that was really the only reason. After eight months of frustrating, yet somewhat satisfying foreplay, I really want more. He just doesn’t deserve more.

  Something hit the table behind me, “You are now.”

  Our eyes met for long moment before I could speak. “I still get to say when?”

  “Always. I’m not a rapist, just an asshole.” He assured me.

  I picked up the packet of pills and opened it to read the name of the drug. It’s one I’m familiar with so I took the pill and swallowed it with a sip of my whiskey. Probably not how you’re supposed to do it, but the first one is really for show, to set you up.

  “I thought you were supposed to wait for a certain day?” He asked curiously.

  “I haven’t had that day in years. Too much stress, wiped it out.” I slashed the air with the knife. “I probably can’t have kids at this point.”

  “Stress stopped your cycle?” Men.

  “Stress, depression, anxiety, fear, did I mention depression? Yeah, eventually the body says fuck it we have better things to do, like survive. Being underweight doesn’t help, but I can’t find an appetite to remedy that one, so I’m pretty much stuck.”

  “I’ve never heard of that.”

  “Google it.” I pulled out what looks like a giant red beanbag chair and laughed, “What the hell is this?”

  “Snow suit. I wanted a bright color in case your skinny ass wanders off. Keep digging, you can open that tomorrow.” He nodded pulling his laptop into his lap. I guess he is going to Google it.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Not like that, I mean wander off. It’s easy to get separated and lost up here.”

  “Good point.” I set the red suit on top of another box that’s waiting to be opened and reached in for another smaller box. It took me a minute to get it open and pull out the contents. Matching gloves, hat, and scarf. “Thank you.”

  “Keep digging.” He urged absently.

  I found a couple shirt boxes and stacked them so I could lift the lid on the first. A royal blue silk fabric shone back up at me. I’m afraid to touch it.

  “Take it out.” He said softly still reading the screen.

  I lifted the nightgown and bit my lip to keep my knees from buckling. It’s long enough to cover my knees with spaghetti straps. The deep royal blue is amazing. I found a matching robe underneath, and a twin one in ruby red under that. “Oh my God. These are amazing.”

  “Jasmine.”

  I looked over as he looked up. “What?”

  “Not getting your
cycle is really bad for you.” He’s looking at me with serious concern.

  “Yeah, I know. Not a whole lot I can do about it now is there?” I closed my eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to get my shit together so I can relax, it just hasn’t… happened.” I opened my eyes, “The homestead was my last chance.”

  “I’m your last chance. Now that you’ve told me the truth about who you were I can protect you. I’ll provide for you and try not to be such an asshole, but you have to promise me you’re not going to go anywhere. No more talk about leaving me. Can you do that?”

  “As long as you’re not in danger I’ll stay. The second that changes you’ll know the only reason I left was to protect you. You’re not the only cop in this room Trooper Colson.”

  He nodded to the next box, “Open that one.”

  I moved some things around and lifted the lid on the next box. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. It’s the most beautiful diamond encrusted collar and matching leash, in what looks like brushed nickel, I’ve never seen. I say never because I’ve never seen anything this extravagant in my life.

  “Bring it here.” He ordered sitting forward.

  I walked over with the box and stood in front of him.

  “Kneel.” Here we go again.

  I knelt and presented him the box.

  He removed the leash and collar then took the box and set it aside on the floor to my left. “Take the other one off. From now on I want you to wear this one. It better represents your importance to me.” He showed me the leash once he’d affixed the collar. “I will use this if need be, but it’s more for show.” He disconnected it and set it aside with the box.

  “Show who?” I asked putting my hand to my throat.

  “Me. You. If you want to turn me into a drooling fool, walk around twirling that leash. I won’t repeat this, but I can be very pliable if you know how to play me.” He cupped my face and bent down to kiss me soft and slow for the first time.

  When I started to push up to crawl in his lap he sat back breaking our kiss. “No. You have a few more boxes to open, then I’ll reward you.”

  “The presents aren’t my reward?” I asked putting my hands on his knees to push up to my feet.

  “No, they’re necessities. Your rewards will come directly from me, and me alone.” He hinted with mischief in his eyes before taking them away and looking past me with a lift of his chin. “Hurry up, you know I’m not a patient man.”

  “No, you’re not.” I agreed and started for the next box. I stopped and touched the leash for a moment. It feels oddly good between my fingers.

  “Thinking about choking me with it?” He asked sitting back looking more comfortable.

  “No, it’s just pretty.”

  “So are you my dear. I can’t explain to you why I’m the way I am, you’re just going to have to draw your own conclusions. I’ll answer any questions you have now, even some of the ones I’ve ignored to date.”

  My brain is fried, and occupied. It’s Christmas for me for the first time since I was like fourteen. “I’ll make a list later.”

  I caught him watching me several times and gave him small smiles as I dug through boxes. Boots. Slippers. More gloves. Work gloves. A big fuzzy robe that made me laugh, and finally a box that made me put my hand to my chest.

  I looked over at him, “Is this for real?” I showed him the iPhone 6 Plus box.

  He tried to look nonchalant, which comes pretty easy to him since he’s so cold anyway. “I’ll be going on hunting trips for days at a time. If you need any help up here while I’m gone you should call someone. I put a bunch of numbers in there of some people you’ve met, and some you’ll meet soon enough.”

  “It’ll work when you’re out hunting? I mean, won’t you be out of cell tower range?”

  “That’s a satellite phone like mine. Don’t watch movies on it, but you can text or call as much as you want.”

  I can’t take my eyes off him. “I don’t know what to say, except thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. I’m not going to be easy to live with Jasmine, but the fact that you’ve survived eight months in the dead of winter with me without going bat-shit crazy, or killing me, says a lot about your character. You’re beautiful, and you can hold your own with me. I need a woman like that in my life, I want that woman to be you.”

  I set the phone down and crawled in his lap for some of his delicious foreplay. For the first time I’m looking forward to so much more with him now, and not just in bed. I smiled into his kiss when I realized we need a bed, and not just because this couch is killing my back.

  It took me two days to unpack all the shit he bought. Now I know what he was doing when he disappeared into his office for hours on end during the winter. I thought he was playing online poker or watching porn.

  He’s been nicer, but at the same time quieter. Maybe that’s why I think he’s been nicer, he’s been keeping his distance. I finally put the last piece of clothing in his dresser that’s where normal people put bookshelves in their living room, and called the chore done.

  This place still looks like a light grey prison, but it feels more like home now that I actually have ‘things’. Another one of the few nice things he’s done since I got here was to allow me to rearrange his clothes to make room for mine.

  I spun around with a goofy smile on my face and smacked right into his chest. “Shit, you’re quiet for a big dude.”

  “What are you smiling about? Plotting my demise again pet?” He cupped my face and backed me to the wall in hallway.

  “Always, but no, not this time. It’s kind of stupid.”

  “What’s stupid?” He lowered moving my hair and started kissing my neck under my ear.

  “I haven’t felt at ‘home’ anywhere in like five years, especially the last four since I went on the run. Something about having things of my own, and putting them away, made this shack feel like home.”

  “This isn’t a shack, I’ll show you a shack later when we go out.”

  “Riding??” It’s been raining the last two days since his promise so we decided to wait. I haven’t ridden in a while, and of course he’s over protective. Not only that but riding in the rain isn’t something you plan to do, it just happens and you have to be prepared for it. I could get prepared if I wanted to, but no. God knows he bought me enough riding shit.

  “Yes. I’m going to go make rounds, be ready in a couple hours.” He untied my sweatpants and pushed them down over my thighs. “Spread your legs.”

  I obeyed thinking I was making room for his hand, but no. He dropped to his knees and dove in. Before I know it my legs are hanging over his shoulders and I’m trying not to bounce my head off the ceiling.

  After the first climax that rocked my morning I begged him to take me to the couch. When he got me twice more and came up for air I noticed his beard was practically glistening with my juices.

  He slid up like he wants to kiss me. I put my palm out between us, “No!! You better not!!”

  He bit my hand then ordered, “Pull up your shirt and use your hand, or I will kiss you.” His threat was almost amusing, but there’s entirely too much need in those eyes for him to be too amused.

  I pushed his sweatpants down over his perfectly chiseled ass and shifted to play. His balls are huge, and he likes it when I use both hands. He won’t admit it, but his groans tell me all I need to know.

  He bit my neck as he spent himself on my stomach. It’s been a couple days so I’m sure he’s been pent up. “Four more weeks and I’m going to get lost inside you for a very long time Jasmine.”

  I kissed his shoulder and up his neck since his face in now buried in my neck. “I look forward to it.”

  He pushed up and studied my eyes, “Do you?”

  I nodded and tilted my head, “Believe it or not I do. I guess I’m hoping it will bring us close
r, maybe take some of the edge off your anger, and my hate.” It’s taking me some time to peel away all the layers he’s build up, but I’m getting there.

  He hesitated then kissed my nose before rolling off to stand beside me. “Stay put, I’ll get you a towel.” This may seem like a normal thing to do, but for him it’s a first. Usually I get told to ‘go clean up’.

  “Thank you.” I took the towel when he got back and sat down on the floor by my feet.

  He’s rubbing his forehead with his fingers as if he’s got a headache.

  “You okay?”

  “This is a difficult for me Jasmine. The walls are thick. I’ve spent too many years putting them up so I don’t have to feel again.”

  “I know. Your walls and my hate cake will go away, it’s just going to take time.” I folded the towel and pulled the quilt over my lap as I slid down next to him. “I just have one question.”

  He turned and kissed the top of my head, “You always have questions. Forget it.” He stood then messed up my hair, “Go make me some coffee to go.”

  “Yes Master.” I replied knowing progress is progress no matter how small. Right now I’ll take whatever I can get and be happy with it.

  ***

  This woman is going to drive me nuts. She’s finally putting on some weight, but not nearly enough. People are going to think I’m starving the poor thing.

  Now that I know who she was I find myself impressed by her tenacity. She knows she doesn’t deserve to go to prison for helping her father out of his misery, so she planned another life. An escape.

  Then I come along and kidnap her. I’m still not sure what the hell I was thinking lying to her all those months about the roads being impassable. If I have to admit anything it’s that having her in the house made me feel less lonely for a change.

  Denise is okay, her place is nice, but she doesn’t give me whatever this is that Jasmine does. I can’t find the right words, there’s just something about her. Her sadness tugs at a heart I didn’t think existed anymore. Maybe it’s because I understand that same level of sadness.