Justify

by Kristin Harte

  Bishop didn’t need me to explain what this I was asking about. “I doubt it. Alder and Deacon are going to handle cleanup, and they know what they’re doing.”

  “Are they the best at it?”

  He glanced at me, his expression screaming that he hadn’t expected me to ask that question. “No.”

  Of course not. “Because Gage is.” A quick nod confirmed my suspicion. “You guys do this often?”

  “What do you think?”

  I didn’t know what to think. Not really. But then I thought of Gage—my wild mountain man. The sweetness inside of him and the care he took with me. The protective streak that could obliterate the sun with its size.

  Even though he’d killed, I’d never call him a murderer.

  “I think you’re all very good men who sometimes have to do very bad things to keep people safe. But you do them for the right reasons.”

  “We do. That I can promise you.” Bishop sat back, looking me over. Assessing me with an unnerving gray stare. “That dog is trying to protect you even though he can’t keep his eyes open.”

  I smiled down at the shaggy mess half lying across my lap. “He’s a good dog.”

  “That he is.” Bishop sighed, sounding much more serious when he said quietly, “Alder thinks you fired the kill shot.”

  “I would have, but Gage did it instead.” I shivered as I remembered his big body surrounding mine, the quiet way he simply took over. The feel of his hand covering mine. The pressure of his finger squeezing mine against the trigger. “He probably thought I was too afraid to go through with it.”

  Bishop laughed, the sound almost echoing in the shabby little office waiting room. “I doubt that. Knowing Gage, he probably thought killing a member of your own family would leave a scar too deep to get over, so he took that on for you.”

  That sounded more like Gage—a protector to a fault. And being that I had his best friend sitting next to me, someone who probably knew the man better than anyone else, I figured a few questions were in order. I scratched Rex behind the ears as I asked, “He’ll always do that, won’t he?”

  “Do what?”

  “Jump in and take over to keep me from being hurt.”

  “Yes.” No pause, no question, no other option. That yes might as well have been a shackle of responsibility clamped on to Gage’s body.

  I huffed. “I hate that.”

  “Hate that he cares about you so much he’d do anything to protect you?”

  How could I say yes to that? “Well…”

  “Because that’s what it is. A love big enough to block out everything else, every rule and guideline and law. I know we can be a little much—Anabeth makes sure to remind me of that every single day”—a cocky sort of grin pulled at his face—“but we can’t help it. And why would you want us to? Gage would rather die than see you hurt, and that’s not a bad thing.”

  It wasn’t. Still, Gage hadn’t exactly been completely altruistic. “His tactics could use a little refinement.”

  “As could his wardrobe. Have you seen that green flannel shirt he wears? The thing should have been retired a decade ago at least.”

  “Are you really complaining about his clothes?”

  “He bitches about my shoes, so yes. I am.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Growing serious once more. “Look, Katie. Gage is my best friend, closer to me than some of my brothers. I know just about everything about him, including how much he cares about you. I don’t want to overstep here or say something I shouldn’t, but I’ll give you this. He’s been alone and dealing with just us guys for a long time. If he needs refinements, refine him. I know Anabeth smooths some of my rough edges, and Shye certainly keeps Alder from being a total grump.”

  I might not have spent as much time around Anabeth and Bishop, but I had around Shye and Alder. I knew exactly how she kept him even-keeled. “That she does.”

  “With Gage, it’s your turn. If you care for him even half as much as he does for you, put a little time in. Right now, he’s like a piece of coal—squeeze him hard enough, and he’ll turn into a diamond.”

  “Somehow, I doubt that.”

  “Me too, but it sounded damn good in my head.”

  I would have laughed, but at that moment, the doctor opened the door leading to the back where they’d taken Gage. Bishop and I both stood, his face just as serious as I knew mine had to be. Our shoulders brushing as we faced Gage’s fate.

  The doctor looked right at me, not even giving Bishop a glance before launching into his spiel. “He’s okay, though there’s some damage to his shoulder that’s more than I should be handling. He’s going to need to rehab that joint the same way he did the first time, but it might take longer to get full use back. Shot twice in almost the exact same spot—it’s practically unheard of.”

  Bishop huffed a laugh. “The man is nothing if not consistent. First, he dives in front of a bullet to protect me, then he dives in front of a bullet to protect her.”

  The doctor pushed up his glasses. “Yes, well. Perhaps he should stop being so brave.”

  Bishop bumped me with his elbow. “That’ll never happen.”

  I wasn’t ready to joke just yet, though. “What about his leg? He was shot in the leg, too.”

  “Through and through. Minimal damage and a clean wound.”

  “That sounds…okay?” I glanced at Bishop, who nodded. “What else?”

  The doctor gave me a small smile. “He’s going to be in a lot of pain, so I’m going to write a prescription in your name for some pain medications. If anyone questions it, I want you to say it’s for a partial tubal ligation you had done. Okay?”

  I was going to have to lie to protect Gage…I didn’t miss the irony of that. “Sure. Whatever I have to do.”

  “Good. He’ll need to take them every four hours at first. They’ll make him sleepy and foggy, but they’ll help keep the pain to a minimum so he can rest and begin to heal. They won’t take all of it away, though. If he needs something stronger, call me, and we’ll figure something out. Hopefully, in a few weeks, the pain will subside, he’ll be able to start rehabbing that arm, and you’ll have your husband back.”

  “Oh,” I said as heat rushed up my neck and face. “I’m not his—”

  “She’s his.” Bishop shrugged when I darted a look his way. “You are. You’ll figure it out eventually.”

  Yeah, I probably would. And until then, I’d take care of him because if I was his, that meant he was mine. “Okay, so I’ve got a handle on the pain management. What sort of symptoms or signs should I be watching for in regards to infection?”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Gage

  I woke up to a screaming pain in my shoulder and the sounds of banging and running water coming from somewhere nearby. None of which I’d been expecting. I didn’t even recognize the room I was in at first—at least not until the pain subsided enough for me to remember Bishop half carrying me up the stairs to Katie’s apartment.

  Her apartment, her room, her bed. Fuck me.

  That would explain the noises coming from beyond the closed bedroom door, then. Katie had to be cooking. I rolled over and glanced at her alarm clock—three in the morning. My girl was cooking in the middle of the night, which meant something was wrong. Considering she’d been attacked again, had seen me pass out after being shot twice, and had watched me murder her uncle, that wasn’t a bit surprising.

  I crawled out of bed, the burning in my chest and neck nothing compared to the deep, throbbing pain in my arm. I needed a fucking pain pill, but I also needed a clear head. At least for a few minutes. Which was probably all I’d get because the pain would knock any sense I could scrounge together out of my head soon enough—more than the pills would. I needed to track down my girl and make sure she was okay before my brain turned to mush again.

  I found Katie in the kitchen just as I’d expected, her hair pulled up in a messy bun and her legs covered in those sexy as sin not-really-pants I loved so m
uch. I’d like to have said my dick responded to the sway of her ass in those skintight black things, but it didn’t. My body was probably too focused on the agony tearing through my right side to give any thought to my Johnson.

  Tragic.

  “What are you doing?”

  Katie spun, looking surprised and scared. Of me. Fuck, I needed to tone it down.

  “Sorry. I just meant…it’s a weird time to be cooking.”

  “I couldn’t sleep. Are you hungry?”

  Always. For her. But right then, that wasn’t the question. “Maybe some toast or something. If you don’t mind.”

  Her smile and the way she seemed to relax right there in front of me stole my breath. “I don’t mind.”

  She turned to bend over—lord have mercy, that ass will be the death of me—and grabbed the bread from a cabinet while I settled onto one of the little stools along her counter. My leg didn’t hurt nearly as bad as my shoulder, but lifting it to place my foot on the rungs of the stool certainly pulled a little. I was a mess. I was also without my shadow.

  “Where’s Rex? I remember him flying across the room when the grenade went off, but then—”

  “He’s fine,” she said, probably knowing the thought of losing my dog would be a harsh one. “He got knocked around a bit, but nothing’s broken. Bishop and Anabeth are keeping him for a few days. I figured that was better than dealing with him here because Alder doesn’t want me outside alone right now. He’s worried about retaliation from the Soul Suckers for…what happened.”

  What happened…which was Katie and me facing down Mark Baker. Though the final memories of that standoff weren’t quite clear. “Did I kill the sheriff or did you?”

  She froze, her finger just about to depress the lever for the toaster, her voice going a little softer as she answered, “You did.”

  At least I’d gotten one thing right. “Good.”

  “I was going to, you know.”

  Of that, I had no doubt. “I know, but I couldn’t let you do that. Even if he deserved it for what he did to you.”

  She held my gaze, her expression flat. Guard up. “I should have told you—”

  “If we have to rehash all the things we should have told each other, we’ll be here all night.”

  “I knew he’d come after me, though.”

  That was something I hadn’t expected. “You did?”

  “It’s why we left Justice. My mom knew there’d be no stopping him. That day…after I got away from him…I went home and told her what he’d done. What he’d been trying to do for a long time.”

  “Katie—”

  “Let me finish,” she said, looking so small and scared but putting on a brave face. One that relaxed a little when I nodded at her to continue. “I never realized how much interference my mom ran when he was around. Always staying with the two of us, never wanting him to be alone with me. As a kid, I just thought the extra attention was because he cared about me. I didn’t realize how much he didn’t until it was almost too late.”

  The idea of that fucker around a young, innocent Katie set my blood boiling. “I wish I could kill him all over again for hurting you.”

  Her smile, as weak as it was, still lit up the room. “I know, but it could have been so much worse. My mom never doubted me. That day, when I came running home with my clothes torn and blood dripping down my thighs, she didn’t even have to ask who’d done that to me.”

  “But there was no one to tell.” I grabbed on to the edge of the counter, needing to hold myself in place. To stay steady so she could tell me what she needed to before I blew the fucking world down. He’d made her bleed? If I’d have known that, there would have been no plan, no plot, and no strategy. I would have walked right up to him in the street and put a bullet in his head. Add in the fact that he’d used his position—his so-called power—to control Katie and her mom, and there was no doubt the man had gotten what he’d deserved.

  Justifiable homicide had never been more accurate.

  Katie wasn’t through with her story, though. “He’d just gotten voted in as our sheriff. He’d been covering things up and doing shady stuff with shadier people for years at that point—my mom knew anything we tried to pin on him would roll right off. So instead, we ran.”

  “Right after he…the car?” She’d lived it, and I couldn’t even say it. Motherfucker, did my girl have a will of pure steel.

  “That same day. She packed up what we could fit in our car, and we headed to Denver.”

  Apparently, Katie took after her mother. “Brave woman.”

  “She was—and protective. She would have hated me coming back to Justice—to his county—but I had to. I always felt safe here, even with him looming in the distance.” She locked eyes with me, giving me the most serious, weighted look I’d ever seen. “I still do.”

  As she should. “I’d do anything to keep you safe.”

  “I know that, but I’m not weak.”

  “I never said you were.”

  “I don’t always need you to protect me.”

  “Too bad.”

  She blinked, my words pulling her up short. “Excuse me?”

  “I said, too bad.” I rose from my stool, moving around the edge of the little bar. Closing in on her. “You think I wanted to see your face after you murdered your uncle right there in my living room? No fucking way. You think I could live with myself if I had to clean up your blood from the floor after someone shot you like he shot me? Not happening. And if you think there’s even a chance I wouldn’t throw myself in front of you again to stop anyone from hurting you in any way, you don’t know me at all.” I herded her against the counter, running a finger softly along her cheek when I had her pinned where I wanted her. “I protect you not just because it keeps you safe, but because I’m a selfish bastard who doesn’t want to give you up. Ever.”

  She didn’t look convinced. “You lied to me.”

  “And I’ll never forgive myself for that. It really did seem like the right thing to do at the time, but I can see where I went wrong.” I licked my lips, leaning closer. Wishing I could taste her just for a second. That I’d earned back the right to. But we weren’t there quite yet. “I figure shit out and get the jobs done. That’s always been my thing. I’m not used to having to worry about people trusting me and how those jobs affect that.”

  “Well, you need to now,” she said, bringing her hands to my chest. “Because I won’t be with someone I don’t trust.”

  Her touch almost made the pain go away. Almost. “That sounds like you might not be walking away from me, princess.”

  She snorted a sarcastic sound, inching closer. Bringing her hot little body against mine. “You think I’d walk away from you after that whole “I love you” speech in the closet?”

  “I don’t know. Just because I love you doesn’t mean you have to return the feeling. You might be willing to leave me behind.” Though, I’d die if she did. Or die trying to win her back. Either one.

  Thankfully, my death didn’t seem necessary. “Never.”

  “You saying you’ve got feelings for me?”

  “Maybe.” She locked her big, hazel eyes with mine, giving me so much hope even as she threatened me with, “But if you lie to me again, we’re going to have some serious issues.”

  I’d take her sort of maybe over a hell no any day. “Understood.”

  “Good.” She turned around, teasing me with that ass pressing against my uncooperative cock. “Now, eat your toast. It’s about time for your medicine.”

  I scowled, leaning down to wrap my arms around her waist and rest my head on her shoulder. “They make me sleep too much.”

  “They’re supposed to.”

  They were. Didn’t mean I had to like it, though. “You coming to bed with me?”

  She turned back around with a plate of toast in her hand, her expression torn. “I don’t want to hurt you worse.”

  “Walking away would have hurt me worse. Cuddling up with you—even with my
bad shoulder—is nothing in comparison.”

  “You and your sweet words.” She took a deep breath, frowning as she set the plate on the counter. Looking nervous all of a sudden. “I’m not as good with words as you are, even when you don’t use any. You can stand there completely silent and say more than I do with a thousand ridiculous sentences—”

  “Your sentences aren’t—”

  She put a finger against my lips, shushing me softly. “I need to get this out, so please just allow me to babble.”

  I slid my hands down to grip her hips, pulling her with me as I leaned against the counter, and nodded. “Go for it.”

  She took a deep breath, clutching my T-shirt tighter as if needing something to hold on to. “You use words sparingly, and that’s okay. But what you say with them, the meaning behind them, carries so much more weight because of that. I don’t want you to think that mine aren’t as serious just because I use so many, so I’m getting them all out now before I get to what I really want to say.”

  She stared up at me, the most adorable, intense expression on her face. “Gage Shepherd, I know you love me, and I know you want to protect me. But all that goes both ways because I love you too, and I’ll always—always—have your back.”

  I waited a full five seconds after those last words—the longest goddamned five seconds in my life—before asking, “Are you done?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good.” And then I took her mouth with mine, kissing her harder than I should have, tangling my tongue with hers as my heart practically exploded out of my chest.

  “Gage,” she gasped when I finally let her go, which wasn’t really what I wanted to do. So I kissed her again, a smaller, sweeter one. Taking a taste of her. Holding on to the woman I loved—who somehow loved me right back—with every bit of strength I had.

  Which wasn’t much.

  “That was to shut you up,” I said, grinning against her lips when I had to stop. “There’s a fuckton of words I need to say, but I’m usually enjoying listening to yours too much to remember to say them. But this time…” I dropped to my knees in front of her, needing to not be towering over her when I made my admissions. When I babbled, Katie-style. “The day after I met you that first time, I threw out half a refrigerator full of food because I knew I wouldn’t be eating it. I’d be at The Baker’s Cottage every day instead, just to get the chance to see you. And I pulled every guard duty assignment for Main Street that I could, not because I felt obligated, but because I didn’t want to take my eyes off you. Every bit of research I did on your uncle was to keep you safe, but I should have told you about it. I should have asked you myself, and for that, I’m truly sorry. It won’t happen again. And I gave you access to my GPS signal in good faith, but I’ll be honest—if I’m working a job that might put you in danger if you know about it, I won’t have my phone on me. Oh, and the gun that Rock stole from me? I got it back already. Don’t ask me how or what happened because I don’t want any shit coming your way, but it’s nothing to worry about anymore. That’s all my truths, save one. You’re my light, my princess, and I love you more than I ever thought possible, which is why I have to protect you.”