As Jude took another sip of his coffee and allowed his body to thaw from its frozen state, he realized that his heart had been racing since their arms brushed briefly, and was now slowing to its normal rhythm.
During the walk down the hall and back to his father’s side, Jude pondered the thought of turning around and attempting to catch up to Sara. He wondered what he would say to her. Had she recognized him, too? By the time he reached his father’s side in the dialysis treatment room, he’d talked himself out of the idea of catching up to her, although his mind remained restless for several hours afterward.
For Jude, feeling the heart of his soul mate felt like having an addiction to a euphoric drug. Simply being with Sara was never enough to satisfy his appetite, rather, he needed to feel her every heartbeat and the emotions that blossomed with them. When their bodies touched as they passed each other in the elevator, the desire that Jude had once felt for her came rushing back. Having been with several women throughout the years since his relationship with Sara ended, none of whom he’d felt as strongly about, Jude learned to suppress his curiosity and desire for Sara. Now, acutely aware that this chance encounter had stirred to life his feelings for her, Jude feared that he might never get a chance to see or feel Sara again.
4. The Gifts
The following day, after Sara tucked Jake in for his late-morning nap, she sat behind the solid maple, executive style desk in her home office and stared at the email inbox on her computer screen. She had been in somewhat of a daze all morning long and felt an utter lack of motivation to get any of her housework done. “Mommy?” Lexi asked, tapping on Sara’s arm.
“What honey?” Lexi’s presence registered in Sara’s mind, but she couldn’t take her eyes away from the computer screen to turn and fully engage in the conversation with her daughter.
“Can we get out my art stuff and do some pictures?” Lexi questioned.
“Ah sure, just gimme a minute to finish what I’m doing,” Sara procrastinated.
“Okay,” Lexi said smiling and then skipped out of the office toward the playroom next door.
As Sara sorted through her unread email, she heard Lexi pushing a chair along the hardwood floor toward the front of the closet in the playroom. Sara envisioned Lexi struggling to reach for her tub of art supplies from the shelf, but decided to wait until Lexi called for help before getting up to offer assistance. Sara continued to review her messages and noticed that the last email was from her mother, Sharon. The subject line read Fwd: Please keep this going. Sara’s mom had the tendency to send those stupid emails that have been forwarded an infinite number of times to everyone in her email address book. Reluctantly, Sara opened the message and with her mouse poised over the delete button, she began to read it just in case it was actually something important or worth reading. She scrolled through the following message:
To: Sara Preen
From: Sharon Alton
Date: August 27
Subject: FWD: Please keep this going
Hey,
This is kind of cool! Out of all of the billions of people who live in the world, there has got to be somebody born on each date of the year. We are going to try to accomplish the task of seeing if we can fill the calendar up with a birthday on every day of the year. Add your name and your country next to your birth date to the list below. Then send this list to all of your friends, plus the person who sent it to you! Let’s see if we can do it!
Remember, COPYING and PASTING this to a NEW E-mail will keep it clean and make it easier to read than just forwarding it. If someone has already put their name in the slot of your birthday please just add your name beside and DO NOT DELETE THAT PERSON'S NAME! KEEP IT GOING! Thanks!
January 1st – Tom, USA
January 2nd
January 3rd – Mary, USA, john, Mark, USA
January 4th – Elise, Australia
January 5th – Colleen, USA
Out of curiosity, Sara scrolled down to the date of her birth.
June 7th – Suzanne, USA
June 8th – Tammy, USA, Jennifer, USA
June 9th – Richard, USA
June 10th –
June 11th – Ed, UK
After seeing that “Suzanne” had already taken Sara’s place in the list, she decided it wasn’t worth wasting any more of her time on the ridiculous email. Noticing the empty space between the ninth and eleventh of June she hit the delete button to trash the email, but thought for a moment about the significance of June tenth, particularly that date in her senior year of high school.
It was Jude’s eighteenth birthday. Sara had turned eighteen just three days earlier. They decided to wait until his birthday to exchange gifts since his birthday was on a Sunday that year and it would allow them the opportunity to spend the day together doing something special. Sara and Jude took a short road trip into the Adirondack Mountains and hiked one of the trails that led to an abandoned fire tower. There were several trails throughout the green pine, white birch, and colorful maple trees of the Adirondacks that summit with a fire tower offering breathtaking views of the area, but they’d only hiked a few of them.
There was always something cathartic about hiking for Sara and Jude, especially when they did it together. They used the time while they hiked through the forest of pines along a worn, narrow path to talk about the flurry of milestones that faced them head-on beginning a little over a week from then. In particular, they discussed graduation and the start of college the following fall. Their relationship was strong, and Sara believed that their atypical maturity would help them to continue the relationship throughout college. But then again, maybe that was how every high school senior felt just before graduation. Jude’s parents were no longer in the dark about their relationship. It had grown tiresome trying to hide it. And although Tom and Audrey Warner weren’t thrilled at first, in fact they’d initially forbidden the relationship, they saw how unhappy Jude was without Sara and allowed the relationship to resume. They eased up substantially when they’d heard that Sara decided on attending college that fall in Connecticut while Jude would attend Ohio State where he’d been awarded a football scholarship. Clearly, they had their doubts about whether or not the relationship would survive the distance between colleges, which only served to fuel Sara’s insecurity.
In the heat of early summer, Sara and Jude hiked several miles along an easy trail. The trail was blanketed with dead leaves, which were a little slippery from the moisture left by a rainstorm that had occurred the day before. They snaked their way over thick roots that protruded from the ground and around jagged, moss-covered boulders, which dotted the trail. About halfway through the hike, they encountered a small waterfall that fell gracefully over a short cliff made of shale and into a shallow pond. They followed the trail deeper into the woods alongside the pond as it narrowed into a stream until they spotted a level area that appeared as though it had been used as a resting space for hikers. A bit tired, Sara and Jude decided to take a break.
Jude reached into his backpack and pulled a bottle of water from it. “You’re gonna love Sacred Heart, Sara. Here,” he suggested as he offered Sara the bottle.
“Yeah, I know, I know. I will. I just worry about how I’m gonna feel without seeing you every day. I mean, I know we’ll make it work. People do it all the time, right?” Sara tried convincing herself.
“It’s only four years,” he agreed. “And we have summers and winter breaks.”
“And Skype and texting,” Sara added as she twisted the cap off the bottle of water and took a sip. The water was still cold from the refrigerator despite the heat outside, and it felt refreshing as it worked its way down her throat.
“Really, it won’t be that bad,” he continued, “and we’ll probably actually see each other more than we do now since we won’t be in class, like, literally all day.”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”
“Of course,” he paused and cocked his head slightly, his face suddenly displaying a flirt
atious smile, “I will miss actually being able to feel you.”
It was difficult for Sara to hide the enormous smile on her face and the flush of color in her cheeks as Jude flirted with her. He wrapped his long, muscular arms around her waist and pulled her close to him. Sara’s hands found their way to the back of Jude’s neck, her fingers grazing the soft stubble of his freshly-trimmed hair. With her belly and breasts pressed firmly against his torso, she could feel heat radiating from him, most likely the bi-product of having walked nearly three miles. She couldn’t resist burying her nose in the collar of his gray cotton T-shirt, which smelled of pine and laundry detergent.
“I love you,” he sighed as he tightened his arms more firmly around her.
“I love you, too,” Sara replied, looking up into his handsome blue eyes. Drawing in a long, slow breath, Sara brushed her lips against his until he parted his lips, inviting her into them. She tugged softly at his lower lip with her teeth and then gently sucked on it. He tasted sweet and salty – a combination that aroused her senses and made her want him. Jude answered her desire by taking the lead in kissing her for a few heavenly minutes until they were interrupted by the noise of other hikers approaching them on the trail.
A bit flustered by the thought that the hikers may have witnessed their make-out session, Sara and Jude stood in silence for a couple of minutes just holding each other while they waited for the hikers to pass them by. Once they were clear, Sara giggled with embarrassment and decided that it would be a good idea to re-direct the focus of their time and conversation to a somewhat lighter matter.
“So,” she said, “about my birthday present.”
“Of course,” Jude chuckled, “I brought yours. You bring mine?”
“You honestly think I’d forget?” she retorted.
Jude reached for the straps of the backpack he was wearing and pulled it off, simultaneously unzipping the main pocket. “Open mine first,” he said as he reached in for the gift and handed it to her.
The small box was beautifully wrapped in a blue and white paisley print. No doubt it was paper he’d found in his mother’s collection. It was adorned with a silver bow and a tiny white card that simply said Happy Birthday on the front and Sara, I love you -J on the inside.
Gently, Sara unwrapped the gift, which revealed a small black jewelry box bearing the Tiffany & Co. logo on its top. Sara gasped, “Tiffany? You got me Tiffany?” her words were filled with a kind of childish excitement. She clicked open the box and immediately fell in love with the tiny, heart-shaped pendant, which hung from a delicate white gold chain. “I love it! Thankyou, thankyousomuch! It’s perfect!” Sara expelled all in one breath and then gave him a quick kiss on his lips.
Jude’s face beamed with pride and she could tell he was quite pleased with her enthusiasm for his gift. “Every girl needs a piece of Tiffany,” he chided, grabbing the box from Sara’s hands. “Let me put it on.”
“Of course,” she agreed as he clasped the chain together. “My turn now.”
Sara reached into the smallest pocket in the front of his backpack where she’d placed his gift earlier that day when he wasn’t looking, and pulled out an envelope.
“There’s two parts to my gift,” Sara announced as she handed the envelope to him.
Jude wrinkled his eyes at her, suggesting that he was unsure but curious about what she’d planned. When he tore open the envelope and pulled out the card, a thick, half sheet-sized piece of paper fell to the ground. He bent over to retrieve the article and brushed some dirt off what appeared to be an airline ticket. His face lit up as he inspected the ticket and read the arrival city, Hartford, CT. He smiled softly, “You think of everything, don’t you?”
“Well, I…”
“I love you,” he interrupted. Staring firmly into her eyes, he reached for Sara’s face with both hands and pulled her toward him so that their lips locked and they kissed.
Sara enjoyed their moment immensely and was elated to see that he reacted to the first part of her gift to him with such enthusiasm. Pulling away from his lips slightly, she whispered, “I’m glad you like the gift. And this is an excellent start.”
Their lips became entwined again and they were quickly on their way toward another hot and heavy make-out session, but they stopped as Sara’s last words to Jude registered in his head.
“Start?” he questioned.
“Well, I told you there were two parts.”
“Oh… right,” he smirked. “Okay, hand it over.”
“Not so fast!” Sara flirted with him a bit and contemplated exactly how to say what she wanted to say correctly, “I don’t give this gift away so easily.”
Jude’s face hardened; not the reaction she had hoped for. It was obvious he knew where she was headed with her plan, “Sara, are you sure about this?”
“Absolutely. I love you. This is as much a gift for me as it is for you and I’m honestly surprised that you’ve been so patient with me for this long,” she replied firmly so that there was no question in Jude’s mind as to her sincerity. Despite the length of their relationship or her devotion to him, Sara had been holding out on having sex with Jude because she’d never had sex before and was nervous. She still felt a little nervous and worried about how painful intercourse might be, but Sara’s desire for Jude grew stronger with each kiss they shared and with every embrace of his arms. She believed that she was finally ready to give Jude her virginity.
“It’s just that,” he hesitated. There was a strain in his voice that she didn’t recognize as he continued, “I just, I need to be sure and I, well, I…” he sighed heavily. “I don’t feel that you’re ready.”
His emphasis on the word “feel” was apparent to Sara but she laughed off the comment anyway, “What? Seriously?”
“Okay, I know that you say that you want this, but I’m getting sort of uh, like a vibe or something.”
Sara tensed and her expression became serious as she realized she had some convincing to do in order to get him to agree with her. She was utterly perplexed, though. She couldn’t understand why he showed so much resistance and she began to wonder if perhaps he was the one that didn’t want to make love with her.
“Jay,” she whispered and wrapped her arms around his neck as she nibbled on his earlobe. “I love you. You know me better than anyone. You’re my soul mate.”
He grasped her hands and guided them away from his neck to her sides as he spoke again, straining to convey what he was trying to say. “That’s just it. I do know you better than anyone else. And I know you better than you think I do.”
“Excuse me?” she said, suddenly scared by the tone that his voice had taken.
“No, don’t be afraid. I didn’t mean it to sound the way it sounded.” He paused for a moment and pondered the correct phrasing of his words, “I want to make love with you. I’ve wanted to make love with you for a long time now but, I… It’s just that there’s something that I’ve hidden from you.”
“What do you mean? Like what?” she questioned as scenarios of what he could possibly be hiding from her ran rampant through her mind. Had he been cheating on her? Was it an STD? What secret could he possibly have kept from her?
“It wouldn’t be right for us to make love… I wouldn’t take that gift from you without you knowing every part of me.”
“Okay, now you’re really not making any sense. What are you talking about? Jay, just spit it out!” Sara was completely frustrated with Jude’s apparent charade but braced herself mentally for any one of the explanations she’d imagined.
There was a pleading, almost sad look in Jude’s eyes as he let out a deep sigh, looked Sara square in the eyes and revealed to her, “Your heart is an open book to me, Sara. I’ve always known what you’ve felt in your heart. And it’s not just you. It’s everyone I touch. This is how I am. It’s sort of like … I’m an empath.”
5. Reunion
Although Sara really enjoyed her job, she suspected that it wouldn’t be the case if s
he worked a regular schedule. It had been two weeks since Sara stepped foot into the clinic because she’d decided not to work the previous weekend. Her director didn’t mind because one of the nurses that had been out on maternity leave was back at the clinic to work weekends, and they were overstaffed anyway.
Sara worked because she wanted to, not because she had to. In spite of this, there was still something about being around sick people who are ultimately dying, just very slowly, that bothered her. She often considered putting in a request to transfer to a different department within the hospital that had a more positive atmosphere, such as the maternity unit.
Sara made the decision to become a nurse while she was in high school thirteen years earlier when her mother was hospitalized after collapsing unexpectedly. The hours of waiting in a sterile, uncomfortable lobby at the hospital for someone, anyone to advise Sara and her father of what ailed her mother were agonizing. A nurse finally relieved Sara’s misery and informed them that Sharon would be okay. Unsympathetically, the nurse explained that Sara’s mother had a heart condition, which could be fixed with minor surgery. Sara was completely disgusted with the bedside manner of the woman that delivered the news. The nurse was obnoxious and rude, and treated them as if it was a bother for her to have taken the time to talk to them. After that, Sara spent countless hours with her mother while she underwent numerous medical tests and met with her cardiologist. All the while, Sara had been feeling increasingly overwhelmed with her lack of understanding of medical terminology. Deciding to become a nurse, Sara’s goal was to be to her patients the opposite of what that wretched nurse was to her family. She would show compassion, and above all, she would be an educator to them so that her patients and their loved ones wouldn’t feel helpless and left in the dark during a time that would, in most cases, be very confusing and emotional.
What Sara Said Page 3