Universe of the Soul

by Jennifer Mandelas

  “You make him nervous. He guesses that you know what he's up to, and he's worried you'll do something…legal about it.”

  “You know, you can be really creepy sometimes,” she took a restless look around the room. The confined space and lack of activity was going to drive her crazy before they so much as passed another light year.

  “We have a great deal to accomplish,” Blair said. “Don't worry about boredom just yet.”

  Adri hissed a breath and ran her fingers through her hair. “By Danwe, I swear sometimes you can read my mind!”

  “I can.”

  That brought her up short. She stared at Blair with new suspicion, a more than a trickle of hostility. “You can what?”

  Blair at last opened his eyes. “I can read your mind. Not all the time, but on occasion, when your thoughts are directed at me, or when there is very little interference and your mental blocks are down, like here.”

  “Can you read it now?” Adri asked. She mentally pictured a thick shield around her mind, impenetrable, protected everything within from invasion.

  Blair's lips twitched in his faint version of a smile. “No. Now that you are aware that I can slip in, you've protected yourself, which is very good.”

  “Why didn't you tell me about this little gift earlier?”

  “In truth, it is just a little gift. I'm a much stronger telepath than I am a reader. I've only ever been able to read about a handful of people, although I can speak to nearly anyone's mind.”

  There was silence for a few moments as Adri absorbed this new information. On a normal day, in her normal life, this information would have been shocking and more or less suspect. However, ever since she'd taken a header off a space ship to a planet's surface, the strange was becoming more commonplace. “So you can sometimes read my mind, but you can always talk to my mind, right?”

  “Quite. Although you could change the ‘sometimes’ and replace it with ‘almost never.’ Like I said, it is a very weak gift.”

  Deciding that amusement was the best course of action, Adri smiled. “I wouldn't go about telling people that you have all these…weak talents. You may find yourself incinerated as an umagai. Not that you talk much to begin with.”

  “I am no necromancer. But speaking of gifts, why don't we start with some concentration exercises?”

  The concept of time can spin away when one enters the vast darkness of space. With the absence of the rising and falling of the light-giving sun star, the human body loses its cues to wake and sleep, existing in an artificial time construct that mimics planetary time. Philosophers have wondered, is this a sign of humanoid achievement over space and time? Or is this merely a poor adaptation of weak mammals to exist in a realm to which they do not belong? Regardless of the intellectual outcome of such a query, Adri always thought that the hours of uninterrupted space travel left her far too much time to think.

  The “night” hours had arrived, and after endless hours of concentrating and training with her less than predicable ‘abilities,’ Adri embraced the idea of sleep. However, that the comfort of unconsciousness was not to be had. Again. So while her companion slept, she was left to lay in the semi-gloom on an incredibly hard jump seat-turned-bed, listening to the ship's engines hum and Blair breathe. All in all, she'd much rather have gone to sleep; there was less temptation to be… insubordinate, and Adri was feeling very tempted now.

  Blair had warned her about the dangers of entering the Spirit Realm by herself, especially without completely understanding the intricacies of her gifts. Adri's one and only experience in the Spirit Realm proved that he spoke with authority, and her soldier-born instincts made him the superior authority in the matter. And yet, Adri wanted to go back; she wanted to see the beautiful glowing spirit again.

  The memory of touching the golden glowing being was fastened in Adri's mind like a welded shard of burning metal, impossible to ignore. It had only been her physical weakness and the vivid picture of the Guardians that had truly held her back since her first experience. Now the weakness was gone, there was nothing else to occupy her mind from this insanity. Blair was asleep and the Guardians…well, it appeared she could handle herself, couldn't she?

  Stealthily, Adri sat up and tip toed to the center of the little room. A glance over at Blair showed that he hadn't moved, and his breathing remained deep and even. Feeling a little edgy, a little eager, and a lot stupid, Adri knelt down and assumed the meditative posture Blair had shown her. Next, she closed her eyes, evened out her breathing, and searched for her center. Blair had explained to her that the best way to enter the Spirit Realm was to have a mental image of a place you automatically associate with it. Then you imagine yourself in that place, and wait for the falling of the mist that heralded the entrance to the Spirit Realm. Her mind focused irresistibly on the one place that meant the convergence of the spiritual and physical worlds; the inner sanctuary of the junusarian monastery. In her mind, she walked up to the sanctuary doors and read the inscription on the lintel: Servant of the One, Veranda, We Pray For You. Fight for Us.

  If that wasn't a kick of destiny, Adri didn't know what was. She didn't know what the first Veranda had been fighting. Maybe someday she would ask Blair.

  Taking a deep mental breath, although her physical breathing remained the same, she opened the door and stepped inside. Within, the air was hushed and still, as though no one had entered for generations. Despite that, it was also perfumed with a scent of incense, and something else that reminded her of the back garden of her old house when she was a child. The room was empty, save for a lighted lamp stand on a raised dais in front of her, and two rows of lighted candles in a long stand on either side. The walls were decorated with mosaic tiles that were pleasing to the eye, although when she stared at them, they seemed to shift in ever-changing patterns. The largest mosaic was the one behind the lamp stand, depicting a beautiful rendition of the galaxy. Mesmerized, Adri stared at the mosaic, watching as the images began to shift, showing one system, then another, then a cluster of stars like diamonds in an ebony cloak.

  The appearance of the mist flowed into the mosaic, slowly wrapping her up in the endless grey fields until she was no longer in the sanctuary, or even the common space aboard the freighter. Stretching out her hands she could see the strange violet markings covering her skin and knew she had entered the Spirit Realm.

  First thing first, now that she had accomplished her goal, she needed a weapon in case the Guardians discovered her. It was a good first step, the only problem being that she had no idea how she had called her weapon out of the mist in the first place. Adri practiced flicking her arm in an attempt to make the lance appear, but with no luck. Eventually (time totally disappeared here) she gave up and went in search of the alluring spirit. She didn't have to go far.

  Traveling through the mist was a strange affair, especially when Adri knew that she now had a set of beautiful wings covered in iridescent feathers. She quickly managed to will herself over to the golden spirit, stopping herself close enough so that she could feel the radiating warmth it let off. Adri now took the time to really study the strange light, as she had been unable to do before. It still felt as though she should recognize it, it was so bright and familiar to her. Once again, she felt an urge to touch the spirit, an urge so strong it was almost a compulsion. Instead of touching it, however, she tried to focus on it more keenly, attempting to utilize her other senses in order to avoid detection from the Guardians. It was difficult, as everything inside her so desperately wanted to touch, to stroke, to…merge. Adri drew a little closer, until there was not even a slim screen of mist between her and the beautiful glow, until the warmth it exuded was a burning heat.

  The name popped into her head like the rays of a rising sun on a clear field of ice, bringing with it an almost child-like wonder. Gray.

  Suddenly, the vague mists around her seemed to swirl in warning. Something else had entered the silent realm. Adri's senses were on alert, and she quickly withdrew from the s
mall group of spirits where Gray inhabited, heading back towards the entrance she had used. As she moved, she turned her head in the direction where she thought the newcomer had arrived, and made out a distant shadow. Curious despite her caution, she hesitated and studied it further, even though it was too far away to see with any clarity.

  She had just made out a pair of wings from the gloom as the spirit made its way towards her when she suddenly felt herself being pulled back towards her body, and heard Blair's voice sharply in her mind, Come back! Hurry before it sees you!

  Adri blinked and found herself sprawled on the floor of the common space, feeling icy cold, with Blair leaning over her, his face pale and his eyes worried.

  Strange things have happened in the past, or so I'm told. Stranger than an unidentified power surge that rocks the entire convent? I ask. Oh most certainly, is the reply. I am to allow this phenomenon to pass by with little heed. Have faith in your superiors to sort this out. Stranger things have happened.

  But I'm not so sure they have. What if Crya is correct and it signified the awakening of an Adept? This should be something to set us all working, to locate and identify an Adept and tutor him or her in their abilities, to see what sort of fate is set in store for them. Instead, ada Sergei and the others don't want us even mentioning it to each other in passing! This would all point to the event being of no particular interest to them, except…

  Here I go, creating conspiracy theories. I suppose there is just too much Tarkubunji in me to follow any sort of odd rule blindly. We just aren't programmed that way, as father would have said. So I suppose I will forgo my studious training as a Talented of the Corinthe Convent, and revert to being Freya Tarkubunji for the moment. What sort of conspiracy can I come up with?

  First of all, what are the facts?

  Fact one: there was an unexplained power surge, possibly heralding the awakening of an Adept. Fact two: not only are the superiors ignoring the phenomenon, but are forcibly telling us to ignore it as well. This action goes beyond the absent, ‘pay it no mind’ gesture into something more akin to an information suppression. Fact three: all those gifted with foresight have no recollection of Seeing something of this caliber. How could it be that none of them Saw anything?

  Ayane is afraid of ada Sergei. This began before the power surge, but it occurs to me now that it might be connected. I don't know how, but it seems to fit. She's been sick off an on lately, and her visions have been disjointed and violent. More alarming, she hasn't been able to remember them once they've occurred.

  She told me Veranda has awoken. I haven't told anyone else. I have a dread suspicion that my own gift of foresight, small as it is, is warning me to hold my tongue. Cerebitha is threatened? What could that mean? If the being who awoke is indeed Veranda –

  All I am certain of is that the convent is no longer safe.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “That was one of the most foolish things I have ever seen in my entire life,” Blair said in a shaking voice, falling into a sitting position beside Adri. She still lay prone on the floor.

  Equally shaken, Adri decided that lying down was probably the best idea and remained where she was. She was too stunned to feel her body shuddering with cold. “I think you may be right.”

  “What possessed you to go into the Spirit Realm, with no real tutoring, no guide, and absolutely no concept of your own abilities and how to utilize them?”

  Surprisingly, hearing the usual calm authority in Blair's voice managed to calm Adri down enough to notice the shaking and sit up. It didn't help that she agreed with Blair's statement. “I can't really say. It was like a compulsion – I had to go and see that spirit again. I wanted to know who it was,” and now that she knew, some of the warm glow she had felt in its presence returned. She stopped shaking.

  Instead of giving her a righteous lecture, which she knew she deserved (having given many in her time), Adri was surprised when Blair was quiet for several seconds before asking, “Who was it?”

  Adri hesitated. Her experience seemed too…intimate to crassly discuss to a virtual stranger. “It was a comrade of mine, back on the Oreallus. Thaddeus Grayson. We were…” what? Dating? Seeing each other? Half-engaged (without the actual engaged-as-in-both-parties-agreed part)? “We were close,” she finished lamely, wincing a little at the understatement. Adri wasn't sure she had ever been as close to anyone as she had been with Gray. So what if she was a little terrified of pushing their relationship further only to be hurt beyond belief later on? Being happy with Gray seemed worth a little risk. Dying and waking again as an Adept put a new perspective on things.

  She was pulled out of her daydream when Blair replied, “Ah. I see now.”

  “See what?”

  Blair simply rolled his shoulders in a small shrug. “Many things. What was the creature that was following you?”

  Adri blinked at the change in topic, but obligingly switched mental gears. “I didn't really get a good look at it. It was really dark, but I don't think it was a Guardian.”

  “Why?”

  “Well, because it just didn't…feel right.”

  “Good answer, Rael,” Blair said, as if Adri was reciting answers in an observation and physical awareness test back in the Academy. “Your senses are very keen. Trust them. Was there anything else off about it?”

  “Wait, are you just testing me, or did you really not see it?”

  “I didn't see it. I could sense it the moment I entered the Spirit Realm, just as I could sense you, but I didn't recognize it.”

  “It had wings,” Adri replied.

  Blair frowned. “Wings?”

  “Yeah. Is that unusual?”

  “Not particularly. Many Talented have wings, although usually there are found on those with a great deal of power. It's something to think on. I'd go back and look, but I don't think that it's a very good idea, in case the other being is less than friendly.”

  “Are they usually unfriendly?” Adri asked, getting to her feet.

  “It's always best to be cautious,” Blair replied vaguely. “I suppose I'll try to get back to sleep.”

  ***

  Gray lay in bed, the lights on dim, listening to the hum of the ship's engines. His heart was slowly settling from its intense gallop, and his breathing was even. The dream that had woken him had been so vivid, he felt as though he could still feel the warmth of Adri's gaze as she stared at him through a swirling veil of mist. It had been a moment of mutual awareness, leaving him shaken and longing.

  ***

  When the waking hours arrived, Adri greeted them with Gray on her mind, which was where he had been the whole night. Granted, thoughts of Gray took up the bulk of Adri's idle thoughts (and some of her non-idle thoughts) on average; now it seemed that all faculties that were not preoccupied with the continuous work of keeping her alive had glued themselves to the image of her field lieutenant. Although she had known that Gray was out there somewhere before, now she knew he was, in a completely different sense. It made her a little uncomfortable to realize that her priorities had shifted from reuniting with the Oreallus to finding Gray. Just Gray.

  Captain Arkow made another appearance when Adri and Blair were sitting down to eat the nutritious yet bland food the freighter's substandard simulator provided. After informing them that they would be arriving at the Uthrib Space Mission late that afternoon, he parted with a “Please relax and enjoy the rest of the trip. Here, in the common space,” and scurried out. The door didn't lock after him, but Adri suspected that there was a monitor hidden somewhere in the room.

  “So, what do you have planned? More of that mind melding concentration stuff?” Adri asked as she dumped her plate in the dish receptacle under the simulator.

  “Not at all,” Blair replied, unruffled.

  Adri tugged on her pendant chain. Blair's constant calm was irritating, and it made her want to see if she could shake him up. “Then what's on the agenda?”

  Blair dumped his own plate and fork, watc
hing with a newbie's fascination as they were swallowed by the machine with a low rumble. “In truth, Rael, I believe we have moved out of my area of expertise. We ought to keep up with your concentration drills, of course, but…”

  “But what?”

  “Wouldn't you think it prudent for me to know as much as possible about the situation we are moving into? Especially if we don't want to be drawing attention to ourselves? At least, I assume we do not want attention,”

  Adri mentally knocked herself in the head. Of course, having never left Junus, Blair would have no idea how things were done in the rest of the galaxy. “You're right. Attention right now wouldn't be the best idea – it's a rough corner of the galaxy and I will look suspicious if anyone finds out I'm military and not with my unit. Not to mention the whole other deal. Okay, it's my turn to teach. Where should I start?”

  “What should I avoid?” Blair asked, sitting back down in the jump seat.

  “First,” Adri began. “Under no circumstances are you to mention what you think I am, or what you are or even what you think you are, got it? There are to be no such words as ‘Adept,’ or anything else that could possibly connect. Downplay your experience with the junusarians when it comes to the spirituality and the magic stuff. That will certainly draw attention. If asked, skim over any detail that could lead to further interest on an inquirer's part.”

  There was a hint of dry amusement in Blair's eyes. “I believe I guessed as much.”

  Adri nodded. “That's the most important part. We stick with the current story about how I got on Junus, okay? Now, when we get to the space mission…”

  [We've just been given permission to dock, stand by,]

  Adri let out a loud breath. “About time.”

  Because the ship was small, the freighter was able to dock right up against the mission without needing a shuttle. As soon as she heard the landing gear engage, Adri was up and out of her seat, stretching and reaching for her bag. Beside her, Blair copied the movements slowly. He accepted the bag Adri tossed to him right before the door to the common space opened and Arkow appeared, waving them on.